The Dark Dance of Temptation
by stupid shiny volvo driver
Summary: Nominated July 2008 for BEST POV at The Twilight Awards site. AU. Edward challenges his willpower in more ways than one as he and Bella move closer and closer to a wedding that may never be. Edward's POV of 'Becoming Whole'.
1. Chapter 1 If He Only Knew

_**This is a companion fanfic to 'Becoming Whole' which I had written first. This fanfic, in Edward's POV, begins to mirror 'Becoming Whole' in chapter 7. There are a lot of details in this fanfic that are not in Becoming Whole because Edward was not with Bella every second of every day. So, if you have read 'Becoming Whole' and suddenly feel like you're reading the same story but from a different perspective... you are.**_

_**Eternal thanks to SomethingBlue, the Godmother, the Queen of all things Vampirerotic and my wonderful beta reader. Your encouragement is appreciated more than I can ever say! HUGS and LOVE female!!**_

_**Thanks also to ECABS for taking the time to show the other paths in front of me and for excepting the fact that I'm just having fun.**_

**_Disclaimer: All the characters appearing in this work are copyright Stephenie Meyer and are not used with permission. No infringement of these copyrights is intended, and all original characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No financial gain is being made by this work. Quotes taken directly from Stephenie Meyer's work are in italics. No copyright infringement is intended by the use of these quotes._**

Chapter One

If He Only Knew

Charlie wasn't angry with me exactly – he was just angry in general – and scared. I just happened to be there. I could hear his mind flitting from one punishment to another, he hadn't decided yet. The word '_privacy_' kept flashing through his mind like a neon sign. Human thoughts were annoyingly disorganized anyway and Charlie's emotional state made his thoughts so erratic I wanted to block him out altogether. He certainly wasn't about to make up his mind until after he confronted Bella with her '_suicidal tendencies'_. Those two words also flashed in his thoughts.

_If he only knew._ I could only imagine what Charlie might think if he had any idea of the secret life his daughter was leading and the family she chose to associate with. How would he react if he found out his only daughter was in love with a vampire who would one day take her blood in order to have her forever?

Just as we had emerged out of the forest I stopped, pulled out my cell phone, flipped it opened to insure it was on vibrate.

"Bella…"

"Don't say anything, I'll handle this, okay?" She was over being angry for the moment. Her tone of voice made me feel as if she didn't want to start a fight with Charlie. "This was my fault and I'll have to take some sort of punishment for it." She sighed into my face dazing me for a second before my thoughts returned.

_How did she always do that to me?_

"Bella." I held my phone up to her face.

"What?"

"Take this, it's on vibrate, call me as soon as you can." _What a time to be without a pocket! The only place she could hide it would be…_

My eyes drifted down to the top of her tank top. "Hide it…" I waved the little phone in front of her chest, "…some place… where Charlie won't see it." Bella flashed a smile at me, hurriedly took the phone from my hand and slipped it down her blouse.

"There," She went up on her tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss on my lips. "The only way he'll find it is to strip search me." She let out a nervous little laugh.

Just the thought of striping and Bella in the same sentence summoned an image to my mind that I believed Bella would understand, but not really appreciate at the moment.

"BELLA! GET IN HERE NOW! I MEAN IT!" Charlie's voice was beginning to crack under the pressure.

"Keep it with you at all times. I'll be here anytime you need me." I kissed her again, "I love you."

We walked toward her house and Charlie's mind exploded with threats. I shut him out entirely for the moment. It wouldn't do any good for me to get angry with Charlie.

"Edward, go home." His voice was threateningly flat.

I squeezed her hand and turned to leave, opening my mind to Charlie's ranting.

"Bella! What the hell were you thinking? Wait a minute… "

Edward… stop. It's not his fault…

"Edward, I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you. I know that you would never let Bella do something like this. Here I was thinking that Jacob was… _so good for her_," He stopped short but he still thought it. "I swear that kid hasn't got a clue!" He shook his head in disgust. "Bella, go on in the house." He had calmed down considerably. "I need to talk to Edward for a minute, okay?"

Bella looked back at me before slowly taking the steps up the porch. She stopped in front of her father and hugged him hard. "Daddy, I'm so sorry."

"I know." He smiled down at her, "Go on inside."

Charlie came down the steps to the end of the walk where I stood waiting. I kept my mind open to his thoughts. They were still just as unorganized, but not as frantic as before.

What am I going to do with her? No privacy. There has to be some sort of consequence for what she did. Suicidal. Edward would never let her do anything like that. Cliff diving. Dirt bikes. What's next?

"Edward, I'm her dad, you know there has to be consequences for what she did. She could have been killed riding that thing. I'm sorry to say this, and I apologize right now, but I have been really pissed off at you since you left and I was so happy when she started seeing Jacob. I know she's told me a thousand times that he's just her friend, but I really don't think that Jacob ever saw her that way. I have a feeling he brought this bike here so I would freak out, which I most certainly did. But, I think his intentions were for me to forbid her to see you or anyone else. I think he's just really hurt and jealous and I can imagine this was the only way he could think of to get her away from you."

"I understand. You don't need to apologize. I should have…"

_I should have what? Called her, written her, e-mailed her, never left her?_

I lowered my eyes to the ground. I couldn't even look Charlie in the eye. He had suffered just watching her waste away and that too, was my fault.

"Edward, you know what, that's all in the past." His thoughts had softened, but he was still planning on some sort of punishment for Bella and still hadn't made up his mind. Window and door were the only words he repeated. It was so frustrating. "Listen Edward, I don't mind you taking her to school or bringing her home, but that's gonna have to be it for awhile."

"Yes, sir."

"Thanks, Edward." He turned and walked to the house, up the porch steps and through the door, closing it quietly behind him.

As I walked to my car, I closed my mind to their conversation. I climbed in and drove toward home. I didn't want to leave her there without protection for too long, though I was sure that I would have picked up Victoria's thoughts if she were within a couple of miles of Forks.

I pulled onto the road leading to my house and drove around in a circle to have the car facing toward the road in case I needed to get out faster than usual. I went up the porch and into the brightly lit house. Without Emmett there, the TV stayed off most of the time. I missed my brother and it was hard to admit, even to myself, but I missed Rosalie also. There was hardly ever a time I could spend more than five minutes with her lately without arguing, but I still loved her like sister.

_Where is everyone?_ I wondered

"I'm home!" I announced to the house. I opened my mind to catch any thoughts that would float to me.

_Hey, Edward._

_Hi Edward!_ Greetings from Jasper and Alice came to me simultaneously and then Esme's thought drifted into my head a second later.

_Hi dear, we're in our room._

I took the stairs two at a time at my normal pace and was in my own room within seconds. I scanned my vast music collection in the hope that I would find something to take my mind from the night's events. First Jacob, then Charlie. _Bella._ There was no music in the world that could take her from my mind and words would only spoil my mood even more.

No singing. Okay, so that puts me over here…Ah...George Winston. Not too old, not too young, that will do.

I put the CD in and stretched out on the couch, closing my eyes. The music was soothing. I could hear all the notes in my head that hadn't been played only because he was human and not capable of playing that way unless he double tracked or even triple tracked the recordings. My mind wandered from the music.

Bella. Bella.

Thoughts of her drifted through me bringing a smile to my lips.

Bella… Jacob.

My stomach twisted. I sat up.

_What was I thinking?_

I ran my hands through my hair.

Jacob was so sure I was the one that kept Bella from seeing him. Once Bella had clued him into the reason why she hadn't been out to see him, he had regretted causing her that much more trouble by bringing the motorcycles there. All he wanted was to keep Bella from seeing me, to get me out of the picture so Bella would be safe. However, she was only truly safe when I was with her. Even though Victoria may be gone for now, she could return at any time. Was Jacob's pack that willing to guard over Bella if my family or I did nothing to protect her?

And Jacob's thoughts toward Bella were not what I would consider 'friendly'. He loved her and not in the way Bella had maybe thought. To see her with me, to see me touching her, having my hands on her was unthinkable for him. Bella considered him her friend, but Jacob had clearly wanted more, much more. His thoughts did not reveal it had gone any further than friendship, but he hadn't attempted to hide where he did want their relationship to go.

I wish I could hear her thoughts. Had he tried to touch her? Had he tried to kiss her? Was there something more that made her jump from that cliff? Something even she didn't want to acknowledge? I knew she missed his friendship, but was there more? When she and Alice saved me in Volterra, was I already too late? Did she rush back into my arms when there was another option she hadn't thought through?

Just the thought of her spending all that time while I was away in the company of werewolves scared me more than I wanted to admit. Anyone of them could have killed her by accident. Did she really have no sense of self-preservation at all?

I wondered if she had the choice to make over again, to think it through completely, would she still choose to be with me?

I mulled the questions over and over in my mind until I felt I would go crazy if I didn't learn the answer. If I was such a quick learner, why did I feel as if I were making a mistake again?

Jumping off my couch, I turned off the CD, flung open my door and I ran down the first flight of stairs right into Jasper who had planted his feet solidly in my path.

"Edward, stop." Jasper held my arms. Alice was right behind him. I could feel Jasper trying to calm me. Trying to keep me from rushing off and doing something I would regret later.

"Edward, please don't go like this." Alice knew something. "Bella loves only you. She has always loved you, there has never been anyone else."

Esme and Carlisle came from their room and stood in the hall silently surveying the situation.

"Edward, please, if you go now, like this…" Alice shared her vision with me and I was doing it again. I was repeating the same mistake I made before, I was leaving…again. "If you give her a choice, you won't believe her. You'll do what you think is best for her and it's not! Not for either of you."

I couldn't argue with her logic and I didn't think the rest of my family would allow me to hurt Bella again, even if I felt my absence would be for her own good. Carlisle had made her a promise and he was not one to go back on a promise, even if it was made to a human girl. He would follow it through with or without me. Most of my family already looked on her as part of our family, something I was sure Alice had a lot to do with. Sometimes her visions could be a real nuisance.

So I gave up and gave in with a heavy sigh. I closed my eyes shaking my head. As soon as Jasper's hands fell away from me, I felt another hand softly touch my arm.

"Edward?" Esme's gentle loving voice was worried. The memories of what I had put her through the last time I left were still very fresh and real in her mind.

Promise me, Edward, promise me you won't leave.

I opened my eyes and smiled at her. I could never break her heart like that again.

Ever.

"I promise."

She smiled back and I believed that if she could shed tears, they would have filled her joyful eyes. She turned and her and Carlisle stepped back into their room. I heaved another heavy sigh as I smiled back at Jasper and Alice then headed down stairs.

Still in desperate need of getting my mind off the events of the evening, I looked over at the blank screen of the almost wall-sized TV hanging on the wall and again wished Emmett was here. I passed the couch without stopping and went over to my piano, settling myself down on the bench.

I took a deep totally unnecessary breath blowing it out completely. Then placed my hands on the keys and closed my eyes.

Bella, I love you.

My fingers seemed to move on their own. I could feel the vibrations in the air as I pressed each key sending the music into the space of the room. The melody was soft like her skin, as sweet as the scent she gave off.

Bella, I love you.

I pictured her in my mind. Her deep dark eyes, her beautiful brown hair.

Yes, Bella was right, brown was warm.

Her porcelain skin. My mind's eye traveled over her face, her lips that I longed to kiss every moment of everyday, her glorious neck, traveled down her shoulders to the top of her breast that barely peeked out from under her tank tops. As my vision moved slowly down across her breasts, her waist and finally to her perfectly rounded hips, I realized the melody I was playing had become much more sensual and pressing.

I smiled at the thought of playing this for her as I touched her. Would my song arouse her? Not that she needed anything to help with that, she had been becoming increasingly more aroused each time we were together, whether or not it was my intention. I slowed the melody back down and burned it to my memory for later, before striking the last key to end it.

_That was one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard you play._ Esme was right behind me. She took a seat next to me.

"I was… inspired." I couldn't look at her. Even though I didn't blush any longer, I could still become embarrassed.

"Try not to be upset with Bella, dear, she loves you so very much."

"I know but… Jacob Black was at her house when we got there tonight and he did something to get her in trouble with Charlie and no matter how angry she was, she still wanted to go to him. When he realized his mistake she wanted to comfort him. It made me… sick."

_Jealous is the word you're looking for._ Her eyes were kind. "He was her friend Edward, when she had no one else." Esme's voice and thoughts were quiet and sincere. _You know I would normally never bring this up but, you left her and she did the best she could._

"Yes, I know and I have no one to blame but myself, I have accepted that. I was wrong. But he went there hoping to get Bella in so much trouble that Charlie would forbid her to see me or anyone else. I'm just very lucky that Charlie's smart enough to have already figured that out."

"But, there's more…" She gently pushed.

"Yes. Jacob came to remind me of the treaty and when he explained it to Bella, well, she snapped that it was none of his business."

"He explained that we were not only forbidden to kill, but forbidden to bite as well, is that correct?" Carlisle had come from up stairs. "What was Bella's reply exactly?"

"Just as I said, she told him it was none of his business."

"And how did he react to that?"

"He's not completely stupid, he understood what she meant immediately and, needless to say, he was pretty damned shocked by the knowledge that it was her choice." I didn't bother to mention that Jacob had wanted to tear me into a thousand pieces.

_This was something that was very unforeseen._ He thought before he spoke, "I'm sure the entire Quileute tribe knows by now."

"I'm quite sure they do." Then, I hesitated. "I need to tell you something else…something that I did. I asked Bella to be my wife."

Oh my! Esme's hand went up to her mouth. When did this happen? Before you brought her home I hope.

"Actually it was a while ago, the morning she asked for the vote."

"And did she accept your proposal?" Esme's voice was on the edge of bubbling over.

_Having her for eternity was not enough, Edward?_ Carlisle's thought was insulting.

A flicker of anger lit my brain.

Jasper's voice came from upstairs, "Calm down Edward! She said 'yes'!" his calming effect flowed through me and I didn't fight it. But…why would Carlisle make such a comment?

"She wants me to be the one to…_damn her_… change her, so I made it part of the bargain. And, no, she did not say yes, at least… not yet."

_Don't worry, she has said yes thousands of times, I've seen it. She just hasn't had the chance to say it to you._ Alice's voice drifted downstairs. "Would you like me to show you?"

"No and well, I would still like to hear the words for myself, Alice, not second hand if you don't mind." I raised my voice so she would get the point.

_You will._ I could hear her giggle. She thought I was behaving ridiculously.

Esme touched my arm, "When do you plan on turning her, before or after you're married?"

"After. It's the only way. We'll have to leave Forks…forever." I didn't realize it before, but I had truly given in to what Bella wanted. I had lost this battle. And I was sure to burn in hell for it.

"After all is said and done, I'm sure Bella will consider it a very lovely wedding gift." Esme's voice was soothing. I couldn't get angry at her sentiment knowing that it was exactly what Bella would think… to her it was a gift and not a curse.

"How can I really know? How can any of us really know what's going on in her head? It's horrible not being able to hear her true thoughts!" I turned on the bench and shook my head, "I swear, I'm still just waiting for the running and screaming."

Then I heard Alice's voice again from upstairs.

"Edward, why are you calling me from downstairs, you lazy butt!"

"I'm not calling you!… _Oh my God! Bella!_… It's Bella!" I flew up the stairs and into Alice's room.

"Alice, where's your phone? It was Bella, I gave her my phone to call me. Damn!" Alice tossed me her phone and I flipped it open.

_One missed call. Eleven o'clock, where did the time go?_

I tapped my number in and waited to hear her pick up. It rang three times before I heard her sob into the phone.

"Oh Bella, I'll be right there, I love you." I looked over at Alice, "Can I take this for now?" She nodded. "Thanks." I turned to head out the door then stopped, "Is she safe?"

Alice closed her eyes, "Yes, she's safe." She smiled and went back to what she was doing before I barged in.

I flew out the front door and ran all the way to her house within minutes. I could hear her sniffling before I even got under her window. I could also hear Charlie's thoughts as he muddled over the punishments he had laid out for her. Nimbly I jumped on the top of the porch without a sound and placed my fingers against the window pushing upward, but the glass didn't move. It was locked.

Peering into the dark room, I saw my beautiful angel sitting on her bed, knees tucked up under her chin. White balls of tissue littered the floor. She grabbed another tissue from the box next to her and wiped her eyes and nose before crumpling it up and tossing it on the floor with the others.

I heard her hiccup – the last remains of the sobs that must have torn her apart in my absence.

_I should have stayed close. I should have been here for her. Why did she wait so long to call me?_

Pulling out Alice's cell phone, I dialed my number. Bella jumped and pulled the tiny phone from inside her shirt. She looked at it for a second before flipping it open and holding it to her ear.

"Don't speak, my love, Charlie's still awake." A sob escaped her lips into the phone. "I'm at the window." She flew from her bed and was at the window in a second. "Unlock it, love."

She shook her head and pointed to the sides of the frame. Two one-inch thick pieces of wood had been screwed into place keeping the window locked down tight. I couldn't open it unless I broke them and a noise like that would certainly draw Chief Swan's attention. I looked at her a face. Her eyes were more bloodshot than I had ever seen. Her nose was red and swollen, even her beautiful lips were swollen.

"Oh, Bella." My cold heart sank at the sight of her. She was a wreck. She was an angel.

She pointed toward the door except that there was no door hanging there any longer. Charlie had removed it. This was what he had meant by privacy, she was to have none. How cruel had he been to her while I was gone? I heard Charlie's thoughts at that moment. He was coming to check on her now that she had calmed down.

"Bella, hide the phone – Charlie's coming to check on you." Silently, I slid below the window and jumped off of the porch roof, landing softly. I pressed my body up against the house where he wouldn't be able to see me.

"Am I on suicide watch or something?" I could hear the coldness in Bella's voice, she was still so very angry with her father.

"If that's what you want to call it." Charlie's voice was quiet, "Bella…I"

"You can't lock me up forever! I'm not one of your prisoners!"

"No you're not. You're my daughter." The love in his voice was unmistakable.

"You nailed my window shut! You…you took off my door, Charlie!" I could almost hear the tears roll across her skin. She wasn't ready to give in yet.

"I was really, really mad, Bella. I trusted you." Charlie was giving in, I could hear it. "Here I was thinking that Jacob was the best thing for you. You were so depressed and he seemed to pick you up…I know, I know…you think of him as just a friend, but Bella…well, it doesn't matter now." There was silence for a moment. "It was just a shock to find out that he rebuilt that bike for you and that you actually rode it. What were you thinking? What was he thinking?"

"Dad, I swear I'll never do anything like that again. I'm so sorry."

I heard Charlie let out a laugh, he was defeated, somewhat.

"I'm sorry I over-reacted."

There was silence for a long while. The only thing I heard were Charlie's loving thoughts for his daughter. His only daughter. The one I had promised to take from him forever in only a matter of weeks. But, I loved her too. I loved her beyond all reason and would not exist without her by my side. Whether it was me or another man, Charlie couldn't keep her forever. All parents had to let their children go at some point. In this way only, was Bella no different. However, she would need to say her good-byes before I took her as my wife because she would never see her parents again. Was she truly ready for that?

I heard a tapping at the window and Charlie's voice very close. I stayed in the shadows of the porch and waited. Soon Charlie's voice was as clear as if he were standing with his head out of the window. "Your room does get stuffy when the window's shut. I'll put your door back on tomorrow, okay? I'm wiped out. But remember, I'm not budging on this. Edward can take you to school and bring you home, but that's all for right now." His voice faded from the window, "Are you working tomorrow?"

"No, I rarely work on Sunday's." Bella's voice sounded sad at the fact that she would be stuck at home all day.

"Well, good night." Charlie walked from the room and I heard his door close. His thoughts were peaceful. Suddenly Alice's phone vibrated in my hand and I flipped it open.

_Bella._ Quickly and quietly, I climbed back up on the over hang and her beautiful face was waiting for me in the opened window. Touching her fragile skin, I leaned in closer, kissing her moist swollen lips.

"I don't think it would be a good idea for you to stay tonight." She whispered so softly in my ear. "I don't want to send Charlie to the hospital with a coronary." Her hot cheek felt so nice against mine. "I'll have to be on my best behavior tomorrow so…I guess I won't see you until tomorrow night."

To be away from her for an entire day was unthinkable. She couldn't stay in the house the whole day. She might have to come out for some reason. I smiled.

"I'll be around if you happen to come outside for any reason."

"Don't tempt me." But she was already tempted.


	2. Chapter 2 Insane Restrictions

Chapter Two

Insane Restrictions

Bella's restrictions were driving me insane on so many levels, some of them dangerous. I never had enough time with her, and when I did see her, the moments were so fleeting that I couldn't touch her or kiss her enough. The only time I found any peace within myself was when I laid in her bed, holding her in my arms as she slept.

I was completely frustrated by the fact that her scent would hit me so hard if I hadn't been with her for even a few hours. I was forced to hunt much more often just to control my own animal urges and keep my mind clear. Unfortunately, the increased hunting was not having the desired affect. If anything, it made me crave her more.

Charlie had not absolved her punishment, though in a way, we had actually spent some very wonderful, yet secretive moments together. That first Sunday, she would steal out of the house on some excuse, taking out the trash multiple times, she was on a cleaning spree it seemed. Each time she set foot out of the door, I would pounce on her covering her with kisses, watching her blush furiously before letting her return to the confines of the house.

Charlie had begun going into work thirty minutes later, so that took away precious minutes in the morning. Still, I would pick her up early for school and spend the extra time kissing her, touching her skin, and just looking into her eyes. Charlie had made it a habit to be around their house when I dropped her off after school, so I would have to wait until later to see her again, as soon as he fell asleep. During her fifteen-minute breaks at work, she would slip out the back door and I would pull her into the surrounding trees and kiss her more than I had ever dared kiss her in a weeks time, which would leave us both breathless, wanting more.

During those few stolen minutes, I would feel as though I were in heaven. The more I was away from her the more I wanted her. I wanted to change her, wanted to spend every moment with her forever. But, I still fought against it when I felt I was thinking clearly, which was not very often lately. I thought about her constantly, wondering what it would be like to be with her as a man is with a woman, to lie naked with her as husband and wife. I had no frame of reference since I had been changed at seventeen and not very worldly at that time.

The world was so different now, so much more open about sexual relations. Over the course of my existence, I had watched from a distance how relationships between men and women had changed. The contrasts between the couples in my own house were staggering, Carlisle and Esme, obviously in love, showed affection towards each other in front of us, but stayed behind closed doors for anything more intimate than a kiss. Alice and Jasper very much in love, however extremely private. Rose and Emmett had no problems pawing each other as if no one was ever paying any attention to them. Then again, when I was with Bella, it was always as if we were the only two in the universe. I was just a little more discreet with my affections.

Lately, my thoughts were drifting into dangerous territory and it frightened me. My desire for Bella as a woman was slowly pushed to the back of my mind. I found myself thinking more and more of the scent of her blood, of how it had tasted on my tongue and how it would taste again. The nightmarish creature inside of me had begun making plans on how I would change her, how I would take her.

Today was no different.

_Ten o'clock. Two more hours until lunch. Two more hours until I will have her alone._

On sunny days, Bella would meet me in the parking lot at lunch and spend those thirty minutes filling my car with her scent almost pushing me beyond the edge of self-control. What would I do until that time?

I had blocked out the thoughts of my family. They were becoming increasingly annoyed at my irritable behavior of late. I tried desperately to find something to sooth the many aches inside of me. The ache for her body and the ache for her sweet rich blood.

I had been playing one CD after another. My room was a sea of empty cases and discs scattered from one end of the room to the other. I had been pacing all morning, something I did a lot lately. The sun was shining brightly so we were all home from school, but this was the first time I felt like a caged wild beast.

_Bella…I miss you. I want to see you, touch you, smell your scent in the air, kiss you, bite you, taste you_.

My thoughts turned horribly dark. I was allowing the monster inside free reign.

_My teeth will slide effortlessly and painlessly through your delicate pale skin, deep into the hot liquid that lies beneath and each beat of your heart will flood my mouth with your blood so quickly, I will struggle just to swallow._

My body reacted to my thoughts, instantaneously sending an enormous amount of venom into my arid mouth. My muscles pulled taught. My empty hollow stomach twisted in anticipation.

I clenched my fists in anger.

_NO! Stop! What the hell are you thinking? STOP IT! It's Bella! Not some nameless, faceless demon tempting me! I LOVE HER! I love her._

_I love Bella._

I heard a slight movement from down in Alice's room. Her door opened. Alice's footsteps barely audible on the stairs, heading down. Heading away from me. _Good._

I removed the latest CD tossing it carelessly to the side and replaced it with something more soothing, something sweet. I flopped onto my couch looking out at the mountain range beyond my window then closed my eyes.

_Bella. I need you… forever._

My mind drifted again.

There was no need for all this frustration. I could remove the cause easily enough.

_Charlie. Yes._

_If Charlie were out of the picture…._

My mind raced through several scenarios of how I would end his life quickly and painlessly. _Bella would never need to know it was me. I wouldn't take his blood. It would have to look like an accident. Yes…I had killed many times before… it would be quite easy. Then I could take my time with Bella and savor her before forcing my venom into her sweet veins. Take from her what I needed to quench the fire that burned within me._

Another rush of venom coated my teeth.

"Edward?"

My eyes flew open to see Esme and Alice standing in my doorway. I didn't need to open my mind to their thoughts to know what was going through their heads. The look on their faces told me everything.

_Had I consciously made the decision to commit that appalling act? To murder an innocent person to achieve my own ends? I was planning to murder Bella's father without a second thought._

I was horrified at my own lack of self-control.

_What was I thinking? What madness had possessed me?_

Alice's face was blank as she turned away from me and walked down the stairs, back to her own room. I sat up on the couch holding my head in my hands.

_Alice, I'm so sorry!_

Esme, on the other hand, came into my room, shutting the door behind her and sat next to me on the couch. I was ashamed and embarrassed and did not dare meet her gaze. I removed the block from my mind. I needed to hear everything she had to say no matter how awful… and true.

"Edward, this situation is becoming unbearable, _dangerous_, for you, _and for Bella_." Her arm came around my shoulders and she kissed my cheek. "I'm going to see Charlie." She stood and walked straight to my door.

"What? Why?"

She turned back and on her face was the most beautiful smile. "I will probably have to make a few promises of my own, but Bella's punishment will be over as of today. I love her too Edward and I won't have anyone, _not even you_, jeopardize her future with this family." The door closed with a click. _By the way, Emmett and Rosalie are coming home this evening. And would you mind cleaning up your room? The last thing I want is Bella slipping and falling in that mess. I'll be back in a bit. I love you._

The front door opened and closed. Her car started and she was gone.

I sat there on my black leather couch completely stunned.

_YES!_

"ESME, I LOVE YOU!" I yelled out into the room not knowing if she could still hear me or not. I ran out of my room, down the stairs and into Alice's room without knocking. I grabbed her off the sofa, out of Jasper's arms and danced her around the room. Jasper had tensed for a second, but could obviously feel my mood had improved.

"Thank you, Alice, thank you so much!" I whispered frantically in her ear.

She hugged me hard, if it had been any harder she would have broken my bones. Then I heard a fire flash in her mind.

"Put me down!" She viciously pushed away from me, so I let her go.

"Stop scaring me like that you…you…you ass!"

_Was she really that angry with me?_

"Alice…I…"

Her face softened. She threw herself into me, grabbing me in her arms again. She was extremely strong for being so tiny. I folded my arms around her and leaned my cheek onto her spiky black hair. "I hate seeing visions like that!" She squeezed me tight. _It was too much Edward. I can't take it any more. Bella's my best friend, my sister. It hurts me to see her…see her dead._

"I'm so sorry." It was all I could do just to whisper. My breath hitched as I drew it in. Alice looked up into my eyes.

_I love you both and I'll do whatever is necessary to keep Bella safe, even if it means stopping you from killing her. Do you understand, Edward?_

"Yes, I understand and I wouldn't expect any less." I gently kissed her forehead, released her and walked to the door.

"Emmett and Rosalie are coming home tonight. Are you going to stick around for awhile?" Jasper was as calm as ever now knowing my dangerous thoughts had past.

"Yes, I know, Esme told me." I was very happy knowing that my family would soon be whole again. "I'll be here for awhile before I go to Bella's, but right now I'm going to clean my room before Esme does it for me."

I had finished cleaning by eleven-thirty five. I managed to use up an hour and thirty-five minutes not only cleaning, but reorganizing. Anything to take up the minutes before I could see Bella again. I heard Esme's car as it came down the road and I reached out to hear her thoughts. Her head was currently filled with music, she must have been singing, which was an extremely good sign. I smiled to myself and wondered if maybe Bella would consent to ditching the rest of the school day, but knowing Bella and just getting her privileges back, she wouldn't go for it.

I could hear Esme pulling up to the house and then coming in the door. She was moving in speed and within seconds, she was standing in my room with a sly smile on her face.

"Aren't you going to ask me?"

"You were singing so I assume the punishment is lifted." I didn't want to appear as anxious as I felt, but she was bursting to tell me anyway.

"Edward! You're not interested in the least at our conversation?" _He knows now._

"He knows what? Esme, what did you tell him?" My head shot in her direction, _She wouldn't! She couldn't! _"Esme you didn't…?"

_Edward! Don't be so silly! _She smiled,"I told him you and Bella are in love and that you had asked her to be your wife."

I was dazed for a second. I was so certain she had revealed our secret that her words took a moment to actually sink in. Yes, getting married was a secret, but a secret I was willing to share. Her father had a right to know even if a wedding may never take place.

"What did he say?" Now I was more than eager to hear the whole conversation.

"Edward, it was wonderful! He blushed, I was so amazed."

Charlie's words drifted through her mind, _I was wondering when he would get around to it. I could tell they were getting a little serious. Renée's gonna freak but Bella can deal with her, I'm certainly not going to tell her. Renée and I were both hoping she would go to college first you know, before she made any type of marriage plans but, waiting for a year before they jump into it sounds like a very good idea. I was planning on letting her off restriction within a couple of days anyway._

"It really wasn't that difficult. I only had to use a little bit of persuasion with him." She flashed a sly smile at me. "I should have done it sooner and saved us all this torment." She kissed my cheek and turned to leave. "I know you would rather spend the evening alone with Bella, but I would love to see her for a little bit if you could manage. We've all missed her company you know."

"Sure. I could manage to share her for a bit I suppose." The smile on my face felt so wonderful. "Besides, I want to see Emmett and Rosalie also. Oh, and thanks, I really, really appreciate it." She smiled warmly and started for the door.

"You told him we'd be waiting a year?" I had just realized that I never told any of my family that I'd changed my mind, that I had decided to turn Bella as soon as school was over. I was sure Alice had seen it, but we never talked about it and since Esme wasn't aware of that fact, Alice hadn't told anyone either.

"Yes…you told us eighteen months or more, but I really don't think you'll make it past a year, Edward." She smiled.

"Esme, I'm not waiting a year. I can't. I…need her. I don't know how to begin to explain how I feel. I just…"

"Edward, I know how you feel. Does Bella know this?"

"No. I don't want her to know, at least not yet."

"When this first started, when you fell in love with Bella, Carlisle and I began taking the usual necessary steps to disappear and start again. You know we would have done this anyway in a year or two, so we just stepped up the timetable. Aside from a few last minute details, we're ready whenever you are. I am hoping you have a plan, because at some point, she'll need to know it's coming and I don't want her disappearance to cause Charlie or her mother any more grief than it has to. Have you thought about that?"

"Well, that's something I need to discuss with Bella." That was definitely a chore I couldn't get out of, but even so, I could still avoid giving Bella a date. "The last thing I want is for her parents to suffer and with Charlie having the resources to search for her, I certainly don't want him wasting his life away trying to find her."

"Then I suggest that you don't wait too long to have this discussion with her. You'd better get going if you plan to spend lunch with her."

I glanced at the clock, eleven fifty. _Yes!_ I ran through the door, kissing Esme's check on the way out. Sprinting out to my car, I sped off to the school totally excited to share the great news with Bella.

There she was. Her beautiful brown hair stirring in the breeze. A smile lit up her face as she saw me turn into the school parking lot. I had to exercise an extreme amount of control to keep from racing my car up to the curb and pulling her in. She stepped off the curb as I slowed the car even more and then stopped. She opened the door and slid in, closing it quickly behind her. Her scent filled my car, as I knew it would. I closed my eyes and breathed her in deeply, smiling at how wonderful her smell made me feel. How being with her made me feel more human if only because she brought forth my desire for her as a woman and pushed the desire for her blood down deeper.

Just then, I felt the air close between us as her hand came up to touch my face. I opened my eyes to find her staring at me.

"I missed you too." Her touch was so warm, so soft. I placed my hand on top of hers pulling it to my lips. Then I drove out of the parking lot and down the road to a place where we could be alone for the next thirty minutes.

I pulled my car off the side of the road into a hidden path through the trees, turned off the engine and sat back just taking in the wondrous sight of her. She was even more glorious than I had pictured in my mind.

"What?" She was probably wondering why I wasn't touching her or covering her face, her neck in kisses as I had so urgently done in the past few weeks.

I smiled and could see by the look on her face that it must be a wicked sort of smile. It felt very wicked indeed. The thoughts that went through my head were nothing short of pure lust. It felt so good to think that way again and not the dark thoughts of her sweet blood.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"If you feel the need to ask me, then I guess you think I don't have a clue." She crossed her arms in front of her.

_Oh, I love it when she pouts._

I leaned over to her and took her face in my hand, pulling her to me the rest of the way. I brushed my lips across hers, teasing her. Her sweet breath blew softly into my face and I was totally overcome by her.

_Who is teasing whom, here?_

I pulled back for just a moment to regain whatever senses I still possessed.

"Bella, your restriction has been lifted, thanks to Esme." I said quietly as I looked into her deep brown eyes.

"What? How?" Again, her breath hit me. It was like giving a sip of water to a dying man in the desert. Never enough.

_So warm, so sweet._

I realized as I sat back from her that I had spent too much time this morning dwelling on the taste of her to sit this close to her now. Opening my door, I stepped out into the forest taking in a breath to clear my head. She stepped out of the car and came to my side. It was much easier outside.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm finding it extremely difficult now, not being with you as much as I would like." I pulled her into my arms and kissed her forehead. "I will have to desensitize myself all over again."

_Yes, it's much easier outside._

"You haven't answered my question." I felt her warm cheek nestle against my chest. The heat of her body covered mine like a blanket.

"Esme went to your father and…had a talk with him."

_I have to tell her. Even though she has never really agreed to marry me, I have to trust Alice and believe she will, eventually._

"She …she told him…. we are in love and that I asked you to marry me." I felt her body stiffen and then with one huge breath, relax into me. "She promised him you would attend at least a year of college before we were…" She looked up at me suddenly, I couldn't read her face, and I lost the ability to finish my sentence.

Thankfully, she didn't say anything. Moreover, I didn't push it. I just wanted to be with her and not argue. What did it matter now anyway?

"All that matters is that your restriction is lifted. I didn't ask her to do it. She just… she was tired of me, of my depression, Bella. She loves us and wants us to be happy and that can't happen if we're rarely ever together." I could see her expression softening. I knew I was breathing right into her face, charming her, and the effect was causing her to give in to me. Right then, I didn't care. We were wasting precious time that could be better spent enjoying each other.

I kissed her lips and began to slowly cover her face and neck with little kisses. She was melting into me. She had given in for now and I could take my time. I didn't need to worry about when I would see her, touch her, or kiss her again.

"You wouldn't consider ditching the rest of the day would you?" I whispered into her ear as I brushed it with my lips.

_Never hurts to ask._

"You have got to be out of your sweet vampire mind if you think I'll take that kind of risk." Each word came out deep and breathy. Her scent was changing, becoming more concentrated, more… there. I was doing it to her again. If I continued like this, I didn't know how much longer I could wait to change her, to take her, to taste her.

_Stop it!_

Lifting my head away from her, I held my breath. Her face was angelic with the little rays of light that sprinkled through the trees. I placed my hands on either side of it.

"You're unbelievable you know that? You stand here letting a dangerously thirsty vampire kiss your neck, but you won't risk getting caught ditching school!"

Her eyes bore into mine. "You're not thirsty." Her voice was deep, almost hypnotic. As if just by her words, she was willing me to believe her. Nevertheless, it wasn't true.

I couldn't hold back the growl, "Don't ever believe that! Not for a second. I am just as dangerous to you now as I was the first moment we met!" I felt a shiver travel through her body. I pulled her closer, wrapping her completely in my arms. "Not a moment passes when I don't thirst for you whether it's for your blood… or your body." I laid my cheek against her soft hair. "You seriously need to get your priorities straight."

"So do you." She suddenly snapped at me. There was pain in her voice. She pushed away from me. As I released her, it was as if the sun had hid behind a cloud, all her warmth was gone from my skin.

"Bella…" I was at a loss.

_What should I say? I'm sorry I thirst for you? I'm sorry I am what I am._

I closed my eyes trying to think of what I could possibly say to rectify the situation. Just then, I felt her arms slowly come around my waist and hug my tight.

"Edward….I thirst for you too." She spoke the words in just the barest whisper, but I understood the meaning she was trying to convey. She desired something more than I was able to give her while she was human and I was … not.

_I love this woman!_

I stroked her soft hair with my fingers, then we stood in each others arms as the minutes quickly passed.

"I need to get you back." I whispered hoping she would change her mind and stay with me.

She placed her hands on my chest and looked into my eyes. I was completely captivated by her.

"Edward…" A smile danced around her lips. She wanted to tell me something, I could feel it.

_What I wouldn't give to hear your thoughts just this one time._

_Say it, Bella…just say it. Say yes._

"Edward…I… I love you so much."

_Close enough._

Her eyes held a small amount of sadness in them, but my smile wiped it away quickly.

Picking her up in my arms, I kissed her gently then pressed my forehead to hers as I carried her around the car. I opened her door and placed her in the seat, stepped back and closed it. Quick as I could, I got in and drove her back to school with a few minutes to spare. Leaning over to her, I ran my fingers across her face before kissing her, knowing full well I was dazzling her in the process. I watched as her blood filled first her cheeks then the rest of her face.

_I will surely miss this part of you, Bella._

She slowly stepped from the car, consciously making an effort to place each step carefully without stumbling. I had to smile as I watched her pass through the gates and into school. I would be here waiting for her when school let out and spend the rest of the evening with her at my side.


	3. Chapter 3 Lightning and Promises

Chapter Three

Lightning and Promises

With the restrictions lifted, Charlie allowed me to spend the school nights with Bella until ten and stay until eleven on the weekends. We had spent the last week together either on the couch, on the porch or lying on a blanket under the stars in both her backyard and mine. No matter how much time we spent together, she was still as much of a mystery and a temptation to me as the first day I had set eyes on her.

I wondered if she had any idea how exquisite she was in my eyes. How her slightest movement stirred the air around her, silently sending her scent my way. How each expression on her face confused and yet dazzled me. How the motions her body made as she moved could be compared to a slow seductive dance meant to pull me in and desire her that much more.

For the first time in my many years of non-life, time seemed to be moving too fast. The end of school was fast approaching with only two weeks left. Bringing with it an eagerness that at times, I could barely contain much less hide away from Bella or my family. The last day of school would mark the first day of our lives together. I had made up my mind. I had given in to her request. All I would wait for is Bella to say her last good-byes. But, I wouldn't wait for long.

We had spent the day together and then I drove her to work. Reluctantly, I pulled into the parking lot. I couldn't stand the thought of her spending any time what so ever with Mike Newton. His thoughts towards Bella were nothing short of barbaric at times and the fact that he loathed the sight of me was something I was forced to put up with, at least until the end of school.

I pressed a soft lingering kiss on her lips before she left my car and went in to work. Then, I waited until her break came around to be with her again. I had promised never to leave her, even if it was only to hunt down the threat that loomed over her. Therefore, I was inclined to stay as close as possible in case Victoria decided to make an appearance. Soon, Bella's hours were finished and she took her place next to me in the car. Newton came out with his father and was locking up the front doors when he had glanced our way.

_Cullen, what a jerk. God! I hate that guy! Why the hell did she go back him? I swear the guy looks like he's on drugs with that white skin and dark circles under his eyes. They all look like that. It wouldn't surprise me since his dad's a doctor. I bet he gets the best drugs around._

He looked our way and waved, a perfectly phony smile plastered on his face.

_Man! I bet he's still just using her for all he can get. She couldn't possibly really have any feelings for him, he's just so creepy. It's probably just the sex._

Anger flashed through me. A snarl rose in my throat as I stared out the windshield at him. I had heard many times in the past references to possible drug use, but nothing ever came of it. Nevertheless, to think that Carlisle would supply the drugs was completely insulting. Mike's constant thoughts of how I was only using Bella and how he would like to steal her away was enough to drive me to lose my temper.

"Edward?" Bella asked. Then her eyes followed mine and she took my hand. "Come on, you have nothing to worry about. Believe me, there is no competition."

"I hate the way he thinks…the way he pictures you in his mind." I growled. "He's not much better than those men in Port Angeles, he just puts up a good front." I pulled out of the parking lot and headed for Bella's house.

"Edward! He would never do that!" For being so intelligent, Bella was extremely naive sometimes.

"He's a teenage boy, Bella. You have no idea how his mind works and I don't trust him."

"Edward, you're a teenage boy and I trust you. Haven't you ever heard that saying, 'the greatest proof of love is trust'?"

"That's a beautiful sentiment, Bella, but I'm afraid whoever said that didn't have teenage boys in mind or vampires for that matter." I smiled at her flashing my teeth to the fullest and unfortunately, it didn't have the same affect as it used to. She just rolled her eyes at my gesture.

"Well, neither of us will have to put up with him much longer. I gave my two-week notice tonight." She smiled knowing that this would be welcomed news.

"It would have been better if you had told him tonight was your last night. You don't need to work Bella, least of all, work with him."

She looked out the window avoiding my eyes. This was definitely a sore subject. This was one of the situations that stayed constant in her life when I had left her. She felt grateful to Mike's parents for keeping her on when she really hadn't been the best employee due to my disappearance. She felt indebted to them and that, too, was my fault.

We arrived at her house in no time and would have only an hour to spend together before I would need to leave and return after Charlie had fallen asleep. We sat on the couch wrapped in each other's arms the entire hour, staring at the TV, but not really watching at all. When eleven o'clock came around, I rose from the couch bringing Bella with me and walked out to my Volvo. Leaning against the door, I pulled her warm body against mine and kissed her softly. The feeling of urgency had left my kisses for the most part and now I was able to control my wild desire to touch her and kiss her more easily, but I could tell that Bella missed it. She could never get enough no matter how dangerous it might be, but then again, neither could I.

It was an unusually warm night. I could feel a storm coming in the air. A summer storm with lightning, thunder and possibly a lot of rain. The electricity it would bring had tingled on and off within me most of the day. I took Bella's hands in mine and kissed them.

"I'm going to spend some time with Emmett and Rosalie, they're leaving again tomorrow night, so I'll be back in about an hour." I hated leaving her alone that long, but since Alice hadn't seen visitors coming, this would be the best time to take the chance and leave her unprotected.

"I'm sure I can find something to occupy my time." Bella's sweet voice blew into my face momentarily taking away all sense of reason. She pulled her hands from mine, turned and walked away toward the door. I watched every step she took. The way her hips swayed, her arms gracefully swinging forward and back up the steps to her door. She turned back to smile at me as she pushed the door open then… she let out a yell.

"Ow! Oh crap!"

My body instantly went on alert, my muscles coiled ready to strike even though I couldn't sense any danger. She was hopping up and down on one foot holding tightly to the doorframe but she was also laughing hysterically. What had happened? I took another step forward waiting for the danger to show itself, but Bella was waving her hand at me still laughing.

"Bella, what's that matter? Are you hurt?"

"Nothing!" She managed to say in between laughing and hopping. "I kicked the dang door with my baby toe! I'm fine, go on and see your family." She closed the door. I could still hear her laughing inside. I shook my head and smiled.

_I am definitely fighting a losing battle trying to keep her safe._

I reached out with my mind – was there anything dangerous lurking about?

_Nothing._

Even Jacob had given up spying on us. I never told Bella that I had been aware of his presence. Many times he had stayed close to her house for hours on end, circling, watching. A few times, one of his pack would come along but, not very often. Jacob's visits stopped after our conversation in the woods behind Bella's house, after Bella had made her choice clear.

Taking a deep breath, I slipped into my car. Thinking of Jacob always brought back that terrible feeling of guilt and doubt. I forced myself to think of something else. I wondered as I drove home what the weather would be like after the storm passed tomorrow.

_We could go for a nice long drive in the Vanquish. I need to take it out for a run, I haven't driven it for quite awhile. What is the use of having a custom built car and never drive it?_

Pulling my Volvo up the driveway, I could see the house was lit up and the lights from the windows welcomed me home. I could hear the TV from outside, it sounded like some kind of action movie was playing. Walking in the front door, I could see Emmett and Jasper were engrossed in what looked like a major gun battle on the screen. I stood watching for about thirty seconds during which time my family greeted me.

"Hey Bro!" I had really missed Emmett's booming voice in the house.

"Hey Edward." Jasper sat slumped on the couch with Emmett.

"What's this?" I nodded at the TV.

"A vampire flick!" Emmett loved watching that kind of stuff.

"How'd they do?"

"Not even close. Good though as far as movies go." Jasper replied.

"Yeah, good movie but naw, they're way off, like shooting at us would do any good and they've got the whole sunlight thing goin' on – but that chick right there would make one hot vampire!" Emmett replied pointing at the TV. "I mean, damn! She's already one hot human!"

"Better not let Rosalie hear you making comments like that." I said as I walked to the stairs.

"Right!" His deep rumbling laughter filled the room.

_Yes, I sure missed him._

Jasper was always more critical and would no doubt spend the rest of the evening picking the movie apart while Emmett praised all the actions scenes and the 'hot chicks'.

As I began my ascent Jasper shouted out, "Alice, did you tell Esme?"

"Yes and she's already called Carlisle and he'll be here." Her answer spread out from her room for all to hear. I turned on the stair.

"What's going on?"

"The lightning." Jasper replied as if I should know.

_Lightning_.

The word flashed so strongly in both Jasper and Emmett's minds and then instantly, thoughts raced through them, thoughts of…sex. I closed my mind off immediately. I didn't move from were I stood.

_What am I missing here? What's so special about the lightning?_

I opened my mind once again praying that their thoughts had gone back to the movie. I was wrong. So, I closed myself off again. Thoughts that intimate were private and I was not about to listen in. I turned and sprinted up the stairs still confused.

As I approached Alice's room, I could hear her talking to Rosalie and I slowed my steps as I passed. Just then, I heard a portion of their conversation. One I wished I had never over-heard.

"I swear Rosalie, I was at my wits end! If I saw a vision of her dead in my mind just once more, I was going to take her to Carlisle myself!"

"Edward would have killed you and Carlisle would have refused anyway."

"I don't care! And no, Carlisle wouldn't have refused, I had already talked to him about it. All that matters is that Bella would be alive, well… not dead… well you know what I mean. It was just so horrible! I was seeing her dead five and six times a day! I even followed him once, the vision was so strong, but as soon as he touched her it all changed. After that, there were only two other times it was really bad. The one time I made it all the way to her house before Jasper caught me. He has a lot more faith in Edward than in my visions of what Edward might do."

"Well he does love her, Alice, no matter how odd that seems, he really does love her and you have to take that in to account."

"I know that! You sound just like Jasper! I know he loves her! You have no idea how much he loves her! I love her too and I don't find that odd in any way! The whole time I was having visions of her dead, I was still having visions of her as one of us, but all my visions were so strong I couldn't just ignore the bad ones!"

My next step took me up and away from Alice's door and then I sprinted the rest of the way to my own room. I sat down on my couch with my head in my hands.

_Alice, I'm so sorry._

I sat back and breathed in deeply trying to clear my thoughts and calm my body. I had been so caught up in my own depression that I had not a clue as to what my behavior was doing to my family, especially dear Alice. And, here I was. I wanted to spend this time with my brothers and sisters and I was hiding in my room again! I got up and went down stairs to Alice's door.

Alice?

_Damn!_

"Busted!" Rosalie muttered under her breath.

"Can I come in?" The door flew open.

"Edward…I'm... I just …"

"No, Alice please, I'm sorry… again. I seem to be apologizing to you a lot lately. Please, please forgive me."

She didn't say anything for a moment, just looked at me with her beautiful golden eyes. "Edward, I love you, but until Bella joins our family, my promise still holds...I will do what needs to be done to make sure you don't kill her by accident and that's what it always is, nothing but an accident." She took my face in her hands, pulled me down to her and kissed my cheek. "Edward, please believe that you would never hurt her on purpose. Since her restriction was lifted, and your mood has changed so dramatically, my visions are much more…pleasant." She smiled then released me and went back to sit with Rosalie.

_Never on purpose. Always an accident._

That really didn't make me feel any better. Moreover, when she spoke of her visions being 'pleasant', she had blocked it from me.

_Why did she just put such an effort into blocking her visions?_

That was curious. She didn't usually block her visions from me unless she knew it was something that would upset or embarrass me. I stood in the door for just a second wondering if I should bother bringing it up. Then decided it wasn't worth it right now. I reached in and closed her door then headed down the rest of the stairs to sit with my brothers.

Taking a seat on the other couch, I watched a little of the movie that seemed to be working it's way up to a climax by way of men breaking into what they interpreted as werewolf-like forms and attacking the vampire woman in some old castle. It was okay, but not enough to hold my attention.

_And where the heck did that helicopter come from?_

Then Jasper spoke out of nowhere. "The lightning will hit at four-twenty-seven." Sometimes he spoke just like Alice, as if an event were already happening.

"Well, I'm not sticking around to play ball, if that's what you're planning."

Both Emmett and Jasper gave me the funniest look and again thoughts of a carnal nature completely filled their minds.

"Ahh! Come on you guys! I really don't want to hear that stuff!" I closed my mind off once again.

They both broke into laughter at my uncomfortable comment. Then, they were silent for a moment just looking at me with huge grins on their faces.

"He's really blocking us." Emmett looked over at Jasper with a smile. "Doesn't he know about the lightning?"

"What's so special about the lightning?" I didn't dare open my mind up to them for the answer.

"I guess he doesn't." Jasper replied.

"What is it that I don't know?" It was frustrating not hearing their thoughts.

"Don't you feel it when lightning is near?" Jasper had sat forward on the couch.

"Feel what? I feel the electricity in the air, is that what you mean?"

"You know Jasper, I think there has to be two vampires to generate enough energy between them to enjoy it."

"No, one can do it on their own but you have to concentrate really hard to get the maximum amount of pleasure from it. It's not really worth it though if you aren't sharing it with someone. It's way more intense when you're actually having sex."

"Have you tried that? I mean… I guess I should ask how many times have you tried that, huh?" Emmett gave Jasper a playful shove.

"This is all about sex?" I couldn't believe it. _Why does their whole world revolve around sex?_

"Yes, Edward!" Jasper's face was lit up like that of a teenage boy who thought of nothing but sex.

"Of course Edward! It's all about sex! And if were you, I wouldn't be too close to Bella when the lightning hits or you might give her a nasty shock. It might hurt her." Emmett was laughing, but he was also serious about my hurting Bella.

"You guys are a couple of animals, you know that?" I stood up and walked toward the front door. "Good night, I'll see you in the morning _after_ the storm." I grasped the door handle and pulled the door open.

"Damn! We missed the end. Here, hand me the remote, I'll go back." It took two steps to get on the other side of the door and close it behind me. I stood on the porch for a moment breathing in the warm humid air when I heard their comments from the other side of the door.

"I can't wait until he turns Bella. Man, is he in for a reality check."

"Yeah, vampire sex, nothin' better in the world, bro." Emmett's laughter boomed out into the front yard.

I took off at a run and stepped into Bella's yard within minutes.

Having been gone for only thirty-five minutes, I had returned earlier than expected. From where I stood, I could see a bluish-white glow coming from Bella's window.

_She must be on the computer._

Climbing up onto the porch roof, I peeked through the window. Bella was sitting in front of her computer waiting for something to download.

_Dial-up! How can she wait so patiently? I'd have thrown the computer through the wall by this time._

Then the image popped up and what I saw on the screen made my cold heart flutter. She was looking at bridal gowns! She scrolled down stopping to check out one here and there then she let out a gasp.

"You've got to be kidding! Six thousand dollars for a dress you wear once? No way!" She sat looking at the screen for a few minutes then typed something in the search box and sat back waiting for a new image to appear.

Slipping down to the ground, I leaned against the house and couldn't help but smile. It was a wonderful feeling. Alice's words went through my head.

_Don't worry, she has said yes thousands of times, I've seen it. She just hasn't had the chance to say it to you._

I waited until the glow of the computer screen disappeared before climbing back up to her window. Light shone from under the bathroom door and I could hear the shower running. Silently climbing in through the open window, I crossed the tiny room and lay on her bed. Her scent was everywhere, saturating the very walls with her wonderful freesia and lavender fragrance. I covered myself in her blankets, breathing deeply to inhale all of her. Newton wasn't so far off. Maybe I really was a druggie and Bella was exactly my kind of fix. The electric tingle I had been feeling all day became quite intense for some odd reason, but it felt very, very… delightful.

Then, the shower shut off and I heard the familiar sounds of the towel moving over her skin soaking up the water droplets. The rustling sounds of her hair as she used the towel to massage the moisture from it. The sound of soft fabric sliding over her skin as she dressed for bed. Then, the brush quickly going through her hair right before she placed all her things back into her little bag and lastly, flung the towel into the hamper. Every sound she made was sensual and seductive and before I realized it, I had become aroused by them.

I scrambled from her bed seating myself in her rocking chair instead. Just then, the light went out and she quietly opened the bathroom door, walked the few steps to her bedroom and pushed the door open.

"Oh!" My presence had startled her. More, the fact that I was in the rocking chair and not stretched out on the bed as usual. She closed the door, smiled, laid her things down quietly and came toward me.

"Wait!" I whispered urgently. Suddenly I was afraid of letting her touch me and she absolutely could not sit on my lap right at the moment. And, what if I did shock her? She stopped in the middle of the room, her face confused. "Bella, there's going to be a storm tonight, I can feel it in my body. If you touch me, I might shock you."

"Why would a storm coming have anything to do with…?"

"Bella, lightning puts off electricity and I can feel it flow through me. I don't really know if I could but I don't want to shock you." What I really needed was time to calm my body down before I could even attempt to lay with her. "Just give me a moment, okay?"

She nodded then walked over to sit on the edge of her bed and wait for me. When I felt I had composed myself enough to lay with her, I got up from the chair and crossed the room. Holding out my hand to her, I could feel the tingle was still present and I needed to see if she could feel it through me.

"Take my hand." I whispered. She put her hand in mine. It was soft, moist and so incredibly warm and with our connection the tingle became stronger. "Can you feel it?"

She sat without speaking, staring at the place where our hands were joined for only a moment. Then, she smiled, "It tingles a little but, only in my hand." Her eyes flashed up at me as she pulled gently on my hand. "Kiss me." Her request was not much more than a curious whisper. Leaning over, I barely brushed my lips against hers just in case. She gasped. "Oh!" Her eyes were closed and her face was lit up with a beautiful smile, "That was nice." She opened her beautiful eyes. "I see what you mean."

"It'll get stronger as the storm gets closer so, it would be better if I didn't lay with you tonight. I won't take the chance that I could really hurt you." Her expression changed immediately. "I'm not leaving, Bella, but it would be safer if I just sit in the chair until it passes." She still had hold of my hand and I felt her tug at it.

"Kiss me… just once more." How could I refuse her. I leaned down and kissed her harder and longer until we were both breathing heavily. Her heart racing and her blood pounded through her luscious lips. Then, I released her.

Her face was practically glowing in the darkness. I watched as she slid under her sheet and lay as still as she could trying to catch her breath. Taking my place in her rocking chair, I watched and listened as her heartbeat and breathing slowly calmed down to normal and finally, she let sleep take her.

Time crept slowly by as I watched her sleeping. She lay so still with only the slight rise and fall of her sheet as she breathed. During those few hours, I could feel the storm coming closer and I wondered if being anywhere near her could be harmful to her.

_Would it be safe? Safe to be here in her room?_

I was determined to let myself experience whatever the lightning would bring. I had always thought of it as a pleasant annoyance, but now that I knew there really was something to be enjoyed, I wanted to feel it. I glanced at Bella's clock, 4:14 am, Jasper said the storm would hit at 4:27.

_Maybe I need to be closer to the storm._

Silently I rose from the chair and crossed the room to where Bella lay deeply sleeping. I leaned over to touch my lips to her bare shoulder. Her scent filled my nose, my throat, my lungs and suddenly the electric tingle I had been feeling became intense once more – so much so that I was afraid to touch her. Just then, I saw a shiver run through her…

"Edward?"

_Was she talking in her sleep?_ I waited. _Did I wake her?_

"Edward, don't go yet." She whispered.

"Sleep my love, I'll be back very soon, I promise."

"I love you." She closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep immediately. Silently I crossed the room and was out of the window in a second.

The electricity in the air pulsed through me with each stride I took. The storm was so close now. I wanted to feel it, I wanted to know. Within minutes, I was running through the front door of my home. I could sense none of my family in the house, so I opened my mind to search for their thoughts.

All of a sudden, I was hit with thoughts from six different minds – so sensual, so erotic, and so strong, I was unable to block them now that I had made the connection.

_Whoa! Stop! Stop! Stop!_

I grabbed the staircase railing as I fell to the floor. The most wonderful sensations filled me, as if my body was being lit up from the inside out. I tried to shield my mind from the onslaught of passionate thoughts. This was my family at their most intimate and I couldn't even get to my feet to run away, to put distance between my mind and theirs.

_What is happening to me?_

All my muscles were contracting as my body gave in and reacted to the thoughts I couldn't shut out. I could feel the electricity coming together in the air and then it happened.

Lightning split the sky directly above me and the corresponding thunder shook the entire house. At that moment, pleasure I had never felt in my existence flowed through my body and out into the room. In those few moments that seemed to last a lifetime, I felt alive – truly alive.

Collapsing on the stairs, I lay breathing heavily, something that I normally didn't even need to do. It took only a few seconds, but I was able to finally close my mind off from my family. I had unintentionally shared their most private and secret moments. Pulling myself to my feet, I headed quickly up to my room. Running my hands through my hair as I paced back and forth, I wondered…

_Is that what I had been missing? What would I give to feel that again, to share that feeling with Bella? But…Emmett and Jasper knew I couldn't even be near Bella when… I need to talk to Carlisle_.

It would have to be in private, not at the house. I didn't want to admit to the whole family that I had experienced something through their thoughts. I couldn't take the chance to open my mind and see where my family was, so I went down the stairs and out to my car. As soon as I started the engine, the rain began to pour… hard. The pounding water helped me to organize my thoughts as I headed back to Bella's house.

I needed answers to so many questions and time was running out. I made a promise, Bella wanted me to be the one to change her. No matter how hard I had fought against it in the beginning, no matter the outcome of Bella's request for a family vote, a part of me still wished there was some way she could stay human. The rest of me couldn't wait to change her, make her my own, possess her body and soul, to become one with her forever. No matter how wrong it seemed in the beginning, I couldn't deny how much I loved her, how much I needed her to be like me, no longer human.

I parked my car out of sight, but very close to Bella's house. It was very doubtful that Charlie would brave this storm to go fishing so the soonest I could show up on the door step would be eight o'clock, which left me with three and a half hours to wait. Nevertheless, I needed to be close to her, I needed to know she was safe. Opening my mind, I searched for anything.

_Still nothing._

I could never let down my guard, not with Victoria still out there in the world somewhere. Bella was right, she would never be safe until I changed her. However, it wasn't time … not yet.

The hours passed while the rain poured down in sheets. The lightning had passed early and I couldn't feel it within me any longer. I decided to call Bella and ask her if she would enjoy a ride down the coast.

"In the sports car? Well…" She hesitated.

"Bella, if it makes you feel any better, I promise to drive at a normal human speed."

"Well, okay, that would be really nice!"

"Then I'll be over in about twenty minutes."

Driving straight home, I parked the Volvo in the driveway and headed toward the garage. As I got closer, I could hear Rosalie's thoughts.

_Stupid flippin' idiot! Don't you dare, don't you dare! Ah, come on! Oh damn! _Then her voice rang out, "You son of a …! Oh crap, where did you go now?"

"Rosalie! Do you kiss Emmett with that mouth?" I said as I stepped into the garage smiling at her.

"Oh this stupid thing! I was just going to change the oil before we left tonight and then one thing turned into another and now I've dropped a stupid bolt! Give me a hand, would you?"

I took hold of the wheel-well and easily lifted her BMW. Rosalie rolled underneath and picked the bolt out of the crevice it had fallen into, stood and gracefully flipped her blonde hair out of the way. Gently, I put the car down and headed toward the cabinet that held the car duster.

_And yes! I do kiss Emmett with this mouth. Emmett happens to love my mouth…_

I immediately blocked her thoughts from intruding into my head. After this morning, I'd had enough of others thoughts to last me quite awhile, thank you very much.

I walked over to my car. The Aston Martin wasn't actually dirty, just dusty from sitting for such a long time so, I quickly dusted it off. No use letting the rain turn it into a muddy mess.

"Edward! Are you blocking me?" Rosalie's voice rang out and echoed through the garage.

"What? Yes. I'm sorry, were you talking to me?"

"Yes! I was beginning to think you were just refusing to answer my questions!"

"I'm sorry." I opened my mind and a flood of questions hit me. Questions I never dreamt Rosalie would ask.

_You love her don't you? So why don't you just bite her already? She obviously loves you and is freely giving herself to you, what more do you want?_

"Yes…because, I'm not…I know…I know…Stop!"

"What?"

"Are you changing your vote? Having second thoughts now?" Rosalie was the only one who had voted against Bella becoming one of us and I knew it didn't have anything to do with her personally, it was because Rosalie would never have chosen this life if she had been given the chance.

_Edward, I want you to be happy and she makes you happy, happier than I have ever seen. Why make both of you suffer any longer?_

"She has to finish school first." I said then thought, _What a lame excuse!_

Rosalie stopped working and stood looking at me. "Can't you see what you do to her? Can't you smell it? She lights up like a torch every time you touch her. She's not only in love with you, she's in lust with you. And that's extremely dangerous." Her eyes flashed at mine, "For all of us."

"Yes…I know…I know! I've already given her my word and I will do it Rosalie. I will change her."

"Well, don't make her wait too long." _It really is unfair how you tease her you know. You can't possibly share anything with her until… _Again, her eyes flashed at me, "You do want her that way, don't you?"

"You have no idea how badly I want her that way."

"Well, I do now." Her beautiful face had turned to stone as she stared at me with one eyebrow raised. "No wonder Esme was in such a hurry this morning."

"What do you mean?"

"She flew to Denali this morning, didn't you know?"

"No, why?"

"To find us a new home. We can't very well stay in Forks after the deed is done and we all can't live with Tanya and her family, especially with a newly turned vamp in the house. I mean we're all pretty used to her scent, but can you imagine with all that blood still in her system? Damn, with the way she smells, she could cause a freakin' human feeding frenzy!" She went back to work inside the engine of her car. "Besides, you know Esme, she loves buying new houses. She'll spare no expense to get exactly what she wants."

I smiled and then sighed as I stared out at the lawn outside the garage door. I would miss this house, this place – the sound of the river rushing past and the enormous trees that shaded our home. Esme loved to set up house for us. She would find the most remote location. Some place we could live undisturbed for at least five years. Bella would be my responsibility, as Emmett had been Rosalie's when he had first turned, and that also meant I wouldn't be going to school for quite a long time.

Glancing over at Rosalie, I watched as her delicate hands moved expertly around the engine of her car. I had never thought that Rosalie would accept Bella in our family. She had been so furious with me when I had first fallen for Bella. There was a time that I had thought there would never be a way to redeem myself in her eyes for all the pain I'd put the family through over my love of a human girl. Nevertheless, there she stood – encouraging me, supporting my choice and being happy for me. That thought alone was enough to bring a grin to my lips.

"I'll see you later on Rosalie." I got into my car and started it up. "And thanks."

_Edward, don't stress out so much. Everything will fall into place soon enough and when all is said and done I wouldn't be surprised if you two didn't leave your bedroom for days at a time._

_You just had to get that in didn't you, Rosalie? _I thought shaking my head_._

I pulled out of the garage and down the driveway to the road. The rain had let up a bit, but not by much. As soon as I hit the pavement, I remembered how much I loved this car. It was one of my most prized self-indulgences. I loved the interior as well as the masculine lines that made up the body of the car. But, most importantly, it was powerful and fast. Not that I would be putting it to use today, Bella would be upset if I broke my promise and went faster than the traffic allowed. I would have to get it to Denali and soon, if we were to move there. I wouldn't leave it behind if at all possible.

On the short drive to Bella's house, I thought about how Rosalie's attitude had changed since the first time I had been tempted by Bella's blood. How we had yelled at one another over my possibly exposing our family by saving her from being crushed by Tyler's van. I remembered how horribly smug she was when she had called to tell me….

"_She's dead, Edward. I'm… sorry. You have a right to know, though, I think. Bella…threw herself off a cliff two days ago. Alice saw it, but it was too late to do anything."_

Those words filled my head as if she had said them just seconds ago. I had wished to turn to dust at that very moment. After Bella and Alice found me, we had returned and Rosalie was deeply apologetic. She had no idea that I had no intentions of living in a world were Bella didn't exist. However, that was all in the past and I had learned that if we were both to survive, I could never leave Bella again.

Pulling up in front of Bella's house, I saw her waiting on the porch, leaned over and opened the door as she ran to the car and jumped in. Leaning close, I breathed in her amazing fragrance, so beautifully floral. She leaned toward me doing the same, her eyes becoming distant and slipping closed as I gently kissed her lips. I could have sat there in the car with the rain pouring all around us, kissing her the rest of the day, but…the temptation to do more was too dangerous and… Charlie might wonder what was going on. I sat back and smiled at her.

"Are you ready?"

"At normal human speed, right?" she asked, her voice trembling as she tried to catch her breath.

"I promised, didn't I?"

She took my hand and kissed it before releasing it and settling herself in to the leather seat.

We drove out to 101 South and soon we were passing through Olympic National Park. The drive was beautiful and the rain had let up quite a bit more, the clouds were heading inland, but still I could see them stretch way out over the ocean with a few breaks here and there. Turning right onto a paved fire-road, we headed to the beach before we got to Kalaloch. I stayed on the road until it came out right near the edge of the sand.

When I stopped the car, I sat for a couple of minutes trying to pick up anything. I couldn't sense any other person around for miles so this spot would do for a while even if the sun decided to make an appearance. Bella had been silent the whole way, just looking out at the scenery. It was times like that I wished more than anything that I could hear her random thoughts. The rain had almost stopped even though we were still under heavy dark clouds.

We stepped out of the car into the intermittent drops. I laced my fingers through Bella's and we walked across the sand to the edge of the waves. Once there, I stood behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist feeling the heat of her body warm my skin through my clothes. Reaching up, I gently swept her silky hair to one side, then nestled my chin onto her shoulder pressing my cold cheek against her warm one.

Her scent was so strong and becoming stronger now that I was touching her, now that I was holding her in my arms.

_I could do it…right this moment…I could sink my teeth into her before she even knew what I had done. I could make her mine…forever._

I was immediately brought back to my senses with one word.

"Edward!" Bella was pointing out over the water. "Look at that!" A break in the clouds had opened up and the sun was beaming through as if Heaven itself opened a door. Suddenly, a huge rainbow stretched across the sky.

"Do you know what that is?" It was a mere whisper, but I heard every word.

"Yes, it happens when raindrops reflect the sunlight. The light refracts through the drops of water and the reflection is then spread into a cone of light, the arc of the rainbow, but we can only see it if the sun is behind us and at the perfect angle, 40 to 42 degrees."

"Show-off." She sighed and mumbled as she turned her body within my arms and her arms encircled my waist. Her deep brown eyes locking onto mine.

"That's not what I meant." She pressed her forehead into my chest for a moment then raised her face again and I could see tears had filled her eyes threatening to overflow and run down her cheeks, "It's a promise, Edward, a promise…forever."

"Bella? What's the matter my love?" Was this another moment Alice saw in her visions, another time Bella would possibly say 'yes'?

Bella blinked and the tears began their long slow trail down her soft glowing skin. I reached up and wiped them away with my thumbs as I pulled her lips to mine.

_Say it Bella…please!_

Just before our lips met, she whispered a question, "Forever, Edward?"

I breathed her in deeply, "Yes Bella, soon, I promise."


	4. Chapter 4 A Good End to a Bad Day

Chapter Three

A Good End to a Bad Day

The last Friday before the end of school. Next Friday will be graduation day. The day Carlisle had promised to change Bella when I had refused. The day I bargained with Bella to put off until we were married. Nevertheless, I had already made up my mind that I would do it, I would be the only one to change her, to taste her luscious blood on my tongue once again. The one to force my venom into her innocent alluring body and claim her as mine. That, I would never share with anyone else.

I found my thoughts were again becoming dark as the time drew near. Dark with anticipation of that final moment when I would take her soul, but keep her forever. It was becoming increasingly difficult to be near her with the thoughts of her coming change always on my mind. I didn't only desire her blood, but found myself thinking more and more of her body and how I couldn't wait to share myself with her as one of my kind, as a vampire.

First, we would both be forced to endure the excruciating pain of her turning. She would have three days of pure hell and I would be by her side watching her go through every terrible second of it. It was the only thing I dreaded. I had put off my talk with Carlisle, but I decided that today would be the day to have my some of my questions answered. I needed the time to prepare before the end of school.

School.

Now there was another problem. With all the excitement of graduation approaching, the student body thought levels were becoming harder and harder to block out completely. I was used to this scenario happening at every school I had attended. The end of the year always brought out the worst in humans. The endless backstabbing between friends, the frustration over grades and test scores, boyfriend and girlfriend break-ups and make-ups. College plans, wedding plans, the shrill nervous laughing and fighting that took place always drove me to the edge and I was usually forced to leave school before this time. Having Bella to help keep my mind occupied had kept me saner in a sense. However, today may be the last I could stand. I would need to warn Bella, and soon.

I pulled up to her house after having left her bed only forty minutes before. Charlie never stuck around anymore and went off to work around six. He didn't worry about what we might be doing alone in the house. His only thoughts were that we would have enough common sense to not get into trouble before we actually walked down the isle. He wondered when Bella would tell Renée because he was sure she hadn't yet. Otherwise, he knew in his heart that Renée would have called and yelled at him about how it was entirely his fault.

I walked up the steps to the house and knocked on the door. I could hear Bella running down the stairs. The door flew open and she bounded into my arms kissing me frantically. I picked her up and carried her inside closing the door behind us as she tightly squeezed my neck.

"You act as if you haven't seen me for days instead of minutes." I whispered in her ear as I breathed in her wonderful clean floral scent, filling my body with her essence.

"You know I can never be with you enough." She whispered back crushing her warm soft cheek into mine. I could smell the change beginning to happen in her. I needed to put her down…now. I pulled her from me and set her feet on the floor, smiling down at her as I momentarily held my breath. I couldn't afford to smell her like this. It took away all my reasoning powers and left me wanting to turn her right that moment. She looked in my eyes and it seemed her eyes were twinkling.

"Only one more week, Edward. Just one more…" Her expression changed and I had not a clue as to why. What did she think she saw in my face? I had totally resigned myself to her coming change so what was she seeing that I didn't mean to project? She leaned her head against my chest and spoke quietly.

"Renée is coming for my graduation and plans to stay for three days afterwards. I'm so sorry! I didn't know she was coming until she sent me an e-mail this morning."

"Oh! Well…" I hadn't told Bella but I had been hoping to whisk her away right after graduation and take her off for a few days to spend time alone with her on what would be her last weekend as a human. Then, after bringing her back to Forks, I was planning to take her to Denali and change her there. But, with Renée coming, I would have to wait. Bella would have to wait. Bella's face was still pressed firmly into my chest.

"Were you still planning on making me wait?" I knew exactly what she meant.

"Bella, we made a bargain remember?" I smiled wondering how long I could hold out before telling her my plans.

"But you said maybe eighteen months." I could hear her voice tightening. I placed my hands on her face and tilted it up so I could see her.

"Bella, you know what I agreed to." I still wanted to give her the chance to say 'yes'. But whether she did or not, I would still change her. I just wasn't about to tell her that. And, man, was I going to pay for this later. "Besides, you need to be with your mother if only for three days. Don't worry love, everything will come in time, I promise." I kissed her gently at first then pressed my lips to hers more passionately as her hands came up around my neck and caressed my hair. I kissed her until her blood pounded through her veins and her heart hammered furiously inside of her. And when I could tell she was close to fainting, I released her from my lips but held her steady in my arms.

"Was that enough?" I asked, as I too, tried to catch my breath.

"Never!" She panted into my face as a sinful smile spread from cheek to rosy cheek.

_I must control myself a little better! Stop__ pushing the boundaries!_

"Well that will have to do for now." I turned her and headed her toward the stairs. "You need to finish getting ready or we'll be late." She grabbed the rail and took a wobbly step up. "Do you need any help?" I thought it was an innocent question but by the look on Bella's face, she took it entirely different.

"I'm afraid that if you come up to help me we may never make it to school at all today."

_Was that an invitation? What a glorious crimson red you are, Bella!_

Venom filled my mouth. The pooling sensation was happening in my eyes, heightening my sight. My muscles tensed, readying to pounce.

_No! Not yet!_

I turned my head away from her and closed my eyes.

_Go Bella! Turn and run as fast as you can or we will never make it to school again!  
_As if she had heard my thoughts, she turned and ran quickly up the stairs not daring to look back.

I sat on the couch calming my thirst and listened to her fumbling around her in room as she got ready. I breathed deeply, desperately trying to clear all thoughts of her body, of her blood.

_Think of something else._

_Three days with Renée. If Bella doesn't say 'yes' between now and then she'll need to say her good-byes at that time. If she does say 'yes' then we'll plan on getting married as soon as possible, within days, maybe hours of her acceptance and then she can say her good-byes. But… I won't wait much longer, I can't wait. Those three days will give me time to run the errand I've been putting off and drive the Vanquish up to Denali. I'll have to talk to Alice and make sure she can watch over her until I return._

Soon Bella was ready and coming down stairs. I had already taken her cereal out and poured her a bowl. She sat at the table and I watched as she ate each little bite.

"Describe what that tastes like." I asked her.

"Well..it's sweet and crunchy…that is until it gets soggy then it's…soggy and mushy." She looked up from her now empty bowl, smiling that wonderful smile of hers. "Food, this kind of food," She waved her hand over the bowl, "Has absolutely no flavor to you?" I shook my head. "You can't taste anything that's sweet and crunchy?" That made me smile.

"Bella, you're sweet and crunchy. But I don't plan on having you for breakfast. You're more of a dessert." I saw a small tremor pass through her as she stared wide-eyed into my face.

_Is she finally getting it? Is that a little of the fear any other rational human would have for me? Yes, she needs to be reminded of what's coming. If she were to change her mind right this second or anytime in the future and decide to live out her life as a human, I would still stay by her side as long as she wanted me._

I smiled and even though it seemed to calm her, she had no idea why I was smiling. She swallowed and started again.

"But…you can eat…food? So if I wanted to try something after I…you know just to see…" She looked down at the bowl, biting her lower lip, then rose from her seat bringing it with her to the sink. She turned on the faucet and began to wash it out. "If vampire digestion is so totally different, what happens to food if you do eat it? You know, like the bite of pizza you had."

"I don't think you want me to explain that right after you've eaten." I gave a little chuckle. She dried the bowl and spoon and replaced them in the cupboard. She turned and smiled again.

"Oh…uh… well…okay, I guess I can imagine. I'm ready then." She said as she passed within a foot of my chair. I reached out and pulled her to me wrapping my arms around her small waist as she laid her hands on my shoulders.

"I need to tell you that today may be my last day at school." I felt her body react instantly. She became rigid and her eyes squinted down to mere slits filled with anger. "Bella, this has nothing to do with you." I explained the whole effect that the end of the school year had on me and why I needed to get away. "I would seriously lose my sanity if I were to try to stay and that would be dangerous, especially for you, if I were to lose control and lash out at someone. Do you understand?"

Her body had relaxed into me during my explanation and she had let go of her sudden anger.

"Yes, but I'll still see you every day? Every night?"

"Of course, but Esme usually sends in a letter stating that I'm out due to a family emergency and because of the sun, Alice and the others are usually out by then also. Therefore, I really can't let anyone see me in town due to the fact that I'm not even supposed to be here. Don't worry, we'll work around it. There is no way anyone could keep me away from you." She leaned down and lightly kissed me. My head swam for a second. "I needed you to understand in case I just seem to bolt without an explanation."

"Does this mean I get to drive my truck to school again?"

"Unless you want to take my car or let me buy you a new one of your own?" I knew that little gibe would get her.

"Edward Cullen I forbid you to ever buy me a car, new or used!" She laughed, but I knew she was serious. I wondered if she would accept an engagement ring when it was offered? I would find out soon enough.

I could barely block the thoughts pouring out in the school parking lot when we pulled up later than usual.

_This is going to be a bad day. A very bad day._

The morning passed quickly though. All my classes had already taken any finals that would matter toward our grades and there wasn't much going on so we were free to sit and talk which Bella and I took full advantage of. But still, the voices in my head were difficult to block out and by the time lunch came around I was so agitated I could barely sit still. The noise in the cafeteria was beyond what I could deal with. At times, one thought would creep in louder than any other would and just when I would successfully block it out another would take its place in my head.

_I have to tell him. I'm already two weeks late. God, what will he do? I can't wait for the last day of school. I need to know now if he still wants me or not. If he'll still wants me if I'm pregnant?_

"Pregnant!" I looked at Bella across the table. We'd already had the discussion on why I don't repeat what I hear, but it just slipped out. She leaned over the table closer to me.

"Edward, I don't even want to go there." She whispered.

I looked over at Alice and Jasper. Alice's eyes were far away for the moment then came back into focus. She nodded letting me know that it was time.

"Bella, I need to leave." I rose from the table and she came with me. We walked to the office. I would need to get an off-campus pass and let Carlisle know as soon as I got in the car. Bella slipped her hand into mine and walked silently into the office with me.

Mrs. Cope jumped up from her desk coming to the attendance counter. I pulled the sign-out log over and began to sign myself out.

"Edward. Uh…are you leaving?"

"Yes, Mrs. Cope. I have a horrible migraine headache, I think I'm going to be sick."

"Well, I'll need to call one of your parents and make sure that's okay."

"Mrs. Cope, if you take a moment to look in my file you will see that my father has already given written permission for me to sign myself out." I was trying really hard to charm her instead of hissing at her. It seemed to work because she smiled and turned to check my file.

_He's just way too handsome for someone so young. And Bella has been with him for a while now. I wonder if she's been sleeping with him? I'm sure she has. How could she resist? He is a teenage boy and they all have that overactive sex drive. They must be very careful, if her father found out, I'm sure there'd be hell to pay! If I were only ten years younger…well I'd…_

"Mrs. Cope, please!" She suddenly looked up with such guilt on her face, as if she just realized that I could hear her every thought. I hadn't meant to blurt it out. I had finished signing the book and turned to leave. She would find the letter eventually. I took Bella's hand as we left the office. She walked with me to my car and slipped her arms around my waist.

"Are you going to tell me what that was all about?" Even she was surprised by my outburst.

"That woman has a filthy mind." I bent down and ran my nose along Bella's velvety neck, breathing in as deeply as I could trying to savor this moment until I would be with her again. Then, I started laughing at one of Mrs. Cope's thoughts. "She was wondering if we were sleeping together." I felt Bella's laughter as it flowed through her body and rushed past my ear. It was the most wonderful sound I had heard for a week. I kissed her moist lips thinking about how I would kiss her later this evening.

"I'd better get back before I'm late." She sighed into my mouth, her warm breath tasted wonderful on my tongue. I licked my lips.

_Hmmm, Bella flavored._

"Yes." I kissed her neck once more. "I'll see you after school." I let her go and watched as she walked away from me wishing she would turn, run back into my arms and run away with me forever. I shook my head trying to clear the crazy thoughts that filled it. It was useless.

I got in my car and started it up.

_Now would be a good time to talk to Carlisle._

I drove straight to the hospital and parked in the underground parking area, took the elevator to the floor where his office was. I couldn't take the chance to open my mind to search for him in the hospital. I had found out long ago that a hospital was one of the worse places to catch thoughts. So much illness, sorrow and death filled the halls that I felt as if were dying myself.

If Carlisle wasn't in his office, I would wait. I needed to be where the rest of my family couldn't over hear our discussion. I wanted this to be private. I was in luck, Carlisle was behind his desk doing, what he referred to as an endless chore, paperwork.

"Carlisle."

"Edward! Come in! What are you doing here? Ah! Finally signed yourself out didn't you?"

"Yes. I had reached my limit."

"Yes, well we knew it would happen. Alice says the weather will be nice and sunny for graduation and with Esme's return from house hunting, I guess it's time we all sign ourselves out."

"So she's found us a new home?"

"Oh yes! She even managed to work a few miracles through the trust company and was able to push the sale through extremely fast. We've got the keys and Esme spent one day cleaning and one day furnishing it. I guess I should tell you that your new room is now furnished with not only a couch, but also a bed." A wonderful grin spread across his face. It seemed that everyone in the family was anxious for Bella to join us.

"Well, uh…I guess that's part of why I've come. I need to talk, to ask you some questions, if you have the time."

"Certainly, certainly, sit down." He motioned to a chair and I took a seat folding my hands in my lap. I had no idea where to start now that I was there, but he had opened the door by informing me about my new bed. A bed that was not for sleeping, but for one purpose only. I could feel the worry that covered my face as I tried to form my first question.

_What am I going to do? How will I…_

"Edward? What is it? Is something wrong?" There was concern in his voice.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong." I smiled. "I…just… well I need to know what to expect after Bella has finished the change."

He sat back in his chair, smiled and took in a deep breath. "Well, as you know, in the first year she'll thirst more than any other time and…"

"Wait, I know that." I cut him off. I needed to make my question clear. "What I mean is …as her husband, what should I expect. Her… needs."

"Oh…Well…"

"Carlisle, I've never been with a woman, human or vampire." How much clearer should I make this? It wasmuch more difficult than I had imagined it would be.

"Well there are difference's, for example humans…"

"You know, I'm sorry to keep interrupting you Carlisle, but I know where you're heading and I've been through med school twice and have been forced to sit through more high school health classes and sex education courses than I care to remember." I lowered my voice and reached around and shut his office door. "I'm not human and Bella won't be either. There will be nothing human left of us! So what is there?"

"Obviously more than you know." He sat looking patiently at me forming his thoughts before he spoke again. "Animal instinct for one thing. You can't fight what you are and the need to share yourself with her will kick in automatically." He paused. I took in a breath and waited. "You are still a man, Edward as Bella will still be a woman. I have no doubt that you find yourself aroused by her even now as I am sure she is aroused by you."

I nodded, smiled a sheepish sort of smile and would have blushed if it were at all possible.

"You have already formed the loving sexual connection that I had hoped would happen between you and Rosalie when I brought her into our family, but of course, that never came to fruition. Right now, you find Bella extremely tempting, overwhelmingly so I'm sure, but after she has turned, you will find her even more irresistible. It will be harder for you in the first year to resist her, more than any other time because so much of her blood will still be present in her system. Believe me, Edward, when I say you will find it almost impossible to not want her, to not share yourself with her, to refuse her every advance. What you feel for her will be stronger by a thousand times, because you won't have the limitations you have now.

"As far as physiology goes, you already know how your body reacts to her and her body will react in much the same way. Even more so as all her senses will be heightened. Her skin will respond to your touch and her body will prepare itself in anticipation of the actual act of making love much like a human female. Actually, in the first year her body will react to your every touch no matter how innocent it may be. This is also the most critical time in keeping her safe from humans as a human male will trigger her thirst much faster and stronger than a female would.

"You may not have any body fluids besides venom to share, but what you will share is your energy, something humans can never do. What they share is so brief and completely one sided. Nothing more than self-satisfaction really. We, as vampires, not only share what we have, but also receive what is given. It flows through every cell in our bodies and can be shared over and over. Another advantage we have over humans is that the act of making love can be sustained for days if you wish it or until you are forced to hunt. Your brain gets a little muddled and you'll get irritable if you don't stop long enough to feed."

It took a moment for everything he said to sink in. I couldn't seem to find my voice.

"Didn't you ever wonder why Emmett and Rosalie leave us for a month at a time?"

"Well… uh… I…"

"Edward one thing you need to understand is that in the first year Bella's desire for blood will overshadow her desire for sex just when you will want her the most. You will need to spend almost every moment with her if she is to adapt to our way of life and keeping her from ever tasting human blood will make it much easier for her later on."

"I understand, Carlisle." Just then, his pager went off but he didn't reach for it.

"Did I answer all of your questions, Edward?"

"Yes, I think so, for now, thank you." He looked at his pager quickly then placed it back in his pocket. "Carlisle, last week during the storm… I came home and when I found no one in the house. I opened my mind and accidentally got caught up in what everyone else was doing in private and I'm very sorry. But, it was so powerful that I couldn't block the connection after it was made. And well, while I was caught up in everyone's thoughts I experienced something ….was that feeling the energy you were talking about?"

A broad smile crossed Carlisle's face as he rose from his chair, came around the desk toward the door and clapped his hand on my shoulder. "Edward, that is exactly what I was talking about and believe me, it will be much stronger and much more satisfying when you experience it with Bella, with or without the lightning."


	5. Chapter 5 Unexpected Visitors

Chapter Five

Unexpected Visitors

Wednesday.

Two more days of school left. Actually, only one since Bella would be graduating on Friday. It had been pouring rain for the last three days, a warm humid kind of rain. The dark heavy clouds blocked out the sun so well, they made six o'clock in the evening seem like eight or nine.

Tonight would also be Bella's last night working at the store with Newton. Carlisle loaned me his Mercedes to take Bella to work. Hopefully, no one would see me due to the window tinting is much darker on his car than the rest of the families. Carlisle had sent in a letter to school stating that Alice and I would not make it back for graduation due to a family emergency, so technically, I wasn't even supposed to be in Forks, much less the rest of my family. If someone saw me, Esme would make some excuse as to why I was back, but not going to school, probably the same reason I signed myself out, migraines. We had just left Bella's house when my cell phone rang. I flipped it open. _Alice_.

"Edward, where are you?" I could hear tension in her voice.

"I'm taking Bella to work. What's wrong?"

"Come home…now…please. Someone's coming." She seemed confused.

"How soon? Can you see who it is?"

"No, I don't know who it is…they're not close enough yet. All I can see is they're headed this way…maybe a week away. I'm not sure. I really can't tell. It's just…"

"Can you see more than one?" Victoria would be alone, probably, maybe, but the Volturri would come as a group.

"Not yet. Please, just come home, okay? Carlisle wants to talk to you…and Bella."

_And Bella?_

"We're on our way." I flipped my phone closed. "Bella, I'm sorry but you can't go to work, someone's coming and Carlisle wants to talk to us. We will need to be prepared for whoever it is."

"What?" I could hear it in her voice, an argument was coming, "Edward it's my last night! I can't just not go!" She was very unhappy about not being able to finish out her last night, but it didn't matter. The Newton's, the parents that is, had been so good to her and I felt guilty about what I was asking her to do, but her safety came first and foremost above any other obligations she may have. I handed her my phone.

"Bella, just call them. They'll understand."

"Understand? And what am I supposed to say? Sorry I can't come in tonight, the bad vampires are coming?" She snapped sarcastically.

"Bella just do as I say!" I snapped back, then immediately felt dreadful about my tone, "Please Bella." _We are running out of time._

She refused to believe or just plain ignored the danger she was in each and every day by being with me and just by knowing we existed. With Renée coming and planning on staying for three days there was no way I would consider changing Bella until her mother had returned home. If Victoria were on her way then I'd be forced to not only watch over Bella, but also her mother and father. That was until I'd caught her and rid this world of her presence. If it's the Volturri, that was a different scenario altogether. I would be forced to bring Bella in front of them and bite her as they watched. There would be no other choice. Neither situation was anything close to what I had planned. Not that taking her human life would ever be something romantic, but I could at least try to make it more… private.

She crossed her arms and sat back sulking. I pulled the car to the side of the road, leaned over and ran my fingers over her beautiful face, down her velvety neck and then slowly back up and across her jaw line. She tried to pull away knowing what I was trying to do, but eventually gave in. I hated dazzling her to get my way, but I didn't want to argue with her either. Her heart quickened its pace and her cheeks flushed at each small stroke of my fingers.

"Please Bella." I asked in my most silky voice.

Her heart raced under my fingertips and her eyes began to glaze over, but she fought my charm with everything she had.

_How can she do that? How strong is her will that I have to work so hard to charm her?_

"Edward." It came out fuzzy, so she cleared her throat. "Edward listen, we're going right by there…just let me run in and tell them in person, okay? I owe them that much." Her heart hadn't stopped it's crazy beating yet, but her mind was functioning perfectly.

"Fine." I sat back in my seat, "But I'm going in with you so you don't cave in and stay one minute longer than necessary." As soon as my fingers left her skin I could see the spell was broken.

"Fine. Whatever." She flipped her hand in my direction and sat back pouting.

Pulling back onto the road, I opened my mind and reached out to hear if the Newton's were there and if Mike was also in the store, I wasn't about to give him the chance to speak to her. When we were within a block of the store, I realized I couldn't hear the parents, but since having heard the thoughts of his adolescent mind so many times; Mike came through loud and clear.

_I wished they'd either buy something or leave already. They've been hanging around for an hour now. They sure look different than the last time I saw them and I think that one is the same one who came to the movies with us that one time. Every one of them had some kinda growth spurt I guess. It must be…_

_Who is Mike talking about? _I wondered, so I reached out to gather any other thoughts in the store. The strongest was one that I had heard before.

_She should be here any minute. What am I going to say? Watch out for the vampires? She knows all about them! I wish Sam would just let me take her away. I should just do it. How can he believe that it would affect the treaty? Bella's not even one of them…yet._

Thoughts I hadn't heard in almost a month, Jacob Black. Jacob and his whole pack were waiting for Bella in that store!

As we got closer, I sped up and passed the store.

"Edward!" Bella hissed at me and she did a good job of it, so good in fact, that it was all I could not to smile. _She's been hanging around us way too much to pick that up so well!_

I tried to keep my voice level as I spoke.

"Bella, Jacob and his pack of dogs are in the store waiting for you! He wants to take you away and I'm not about to let that happen!" She sat staring at me in disbelief. "Bella, I'm sorry, but I can't fight them all on my own."

Nevertheless, I wanted to! Yes, I wanted to so badly. I wanted to go back to that store and grab Jacob by the throat and kill him for his thoughts of taking her away from me. Who did he think he was?

Bella grabbed the phone out of the console, flipped it opened and dialed a number.

"Hi Mike, it's Bella…I can't come in tonight, I'm sorry, I've just got too much going on with the last few days before graduation" She paused to listen for a minute, "Oh! I don't know why they'd be there, I'm not even in town! I'm in Port Angeles trying to find a dress for the ceremony, you can tell them that, okay? Thanks and I'm really sorry. Bye." She flipped the phone closed and looked at me with her lovely dark chocolate eyes and I knew I was forgiven. She leaned over and laid her head against my shoulder wrapping her arm through mine.

"I'm sorry Edward. I would never ask you to face them alone. I know what they can do, remember?" I pulled my arm out from hers and wrapped it around her waist pulling her closer to me.

We drove up the hidden driveway and I parked Carlisle's car next to my Volvo. The house was usually lit up when they knew Bella was coming over, but the entire down stairs was completely dark. The thick rain clouds and huge old trees seemed to cover the house like night.

"We're here." I announced as we walked in.

_We're all upstairs Edward. Come on up to my office._

I took Bella's hand and stepped forward then stopped and turned to her. She never ceased to amaze me. Here in the living room with only a small amount of outside light seeping through the windows making the room appear much darker to her eyes, in a house full of deadly vampires, she was completely at ease. Pulling her into my arms, her hands instantly found their way around my neck. I could feel her sweet breath blowing into my face, into my own mouth.

_Delicious._

Her heart sped up now that she was in my embrace. Leaning down, I brushed my lips against hers repeatedly until she tugged hard on my hair trying to force me into a steady kiss.

"Edward, please!" She pleaded. She was pressing her body into mine and her scent was almost too much for me to handle. I held my breath for a moment and gave her what she wanted, a nice long passionate kiss. When I pulled back from her we were both breathing hard again.

Esme's voice floated down from the top of the stairs as she flipped on a light, for Bella's benefit I was sure, "Edward Cullen, you are such a tease!"

I could feel the heat rising off Bella as the blush ran through her face making her almost luminescent there in the darkness.

_Oh Bella. I will need to enjoy this while it lasts, while you are still human._

"We were wondering what was taking you so long to climb the stairs, we couldn't imagine that Bella could be that slow." Esme was smiling. I knew she could see Bella glowing in the dark also. "Does he always tease you so, dear?"

Bella nodded, "He most certainly does. He keeps teasing me like that and I'll take Carlisle up on his offer to change me himself."

"You will do no such thing, Isabella Swan!" I had to instantly fight the urge to growl at her. Picking her up, ignoring her protests, I took the stairs two at a time and we were in Carlisle's office within seconds. I let her down and took her hand in mine as she let out a giggle. Esme came in behind us and went to stand behind Carlisle placing her hand on his shoulder.

"Good evening Bella. I know Alice has already informed you of the situation Edward. I just want to impress upon you, Bella, how important it is that we watch over you more than usual. Alice has had a vision of someone coming and so far, she can't see if it is more than one. But I'm confident that if it were the Volturri, Alice would have seen them much clearer. The Volturri would also come to the house and wait for Edward to bring you here, but Victoria would seek you out, staying as far from here as possible. If it's another vampire who just happens to be passing through, we may never see them at all." He paused for a second then went on.

"As you know I have already taken the time off from work for the same reason that my children are out of school. I have also given the hospital notice that I may not be back for some time since Esme has found us a new home in Denali." He reached up almost absently and took Esme's hand in his, "So, it seems that we have to re-evaluate what needs to be done first. When Alice has a clearer vision of who's approaching we'll adjust our plans to fit the need until we move or the danger passes, whichever comes first."

I felt Bella's hand tighten in mine. Her heart sped up considerably.

_Is she excited? Is she scared?_

I really couldn't tell. Bella looked up at me, then back at Carlisle. "A new home?" Her hand was squeezing mine tightly as if she were afraid to let it go in case I fled from her. "You're leaving?" I could hear the emotion in her voice and knew immediately it was not excitement. Carlisle and Esme both looked at me.

_You haven't told her yet? _The question came from both of them.I shook my head 'no'. Then, Carlisle looked back at Bella and smiled patiently at her.

"Bella, if you still wish to join our family there is no way we can stay in Forks." I pried her hand from mine and she seemed to panic. She threw her arms around my waist holding me as if I may try to get away. Wrapping my arms around her, I kissed her silky hair. She looked up into my eyes with worry written on her lovely face. I couldn't help but smile at her. It wasn't the type of worry a 'normal' person would feel with the prospect of being secreted away by vampires, it was worry that I would leave her behind.

"You'll like Denali Bella, it's not that much different than Forks actually." Esme spoke up as I looked into Bella's anxious eyes.

"Well, a lot more snow but that won't really matter once you've turned. It's the fog that gets me." Carlisle added with a chuckle.

I nodded at her and couldn't keep the huge smile from my face as she came to the realization that she would be coming along.

Bella smiled, heaved a heavy sigh and laid her warm cheek against my chest and within seconds I felt wetness seep through my shirt. "It sounds wonderful." Her voice was thick with emotion, "I can't thank you enough for all you're doing. I mean, moving your whole family, giving up your life here just so…so…" Her voice cracked. Carlisle and Esme both looked at me.

_Is she okay Edward? She's crying._

_Do you think she's having second thoughts, dear?_

I smiled at them shaking my head.

_Second thoughts? No way. These are tears of joy. She is definitely one mentally deranged human._

Esme's voice was soothing, "Bella we love you and we're very excited that you will be officially joining our family soon."

I felt her nod her head.

Sweeping her up into my arms, I carried her out into the hall and up to my room, sitting down on the couch with her safely in my lap though she kept her face pressed firmly into my neck. I leaned her back a little and lifted her chin with my fingers. The tears had stopped for now and been replaced by a sad sort of smile.

"Did you really think I would leave you behind, love? That my… our family would let me?" I could see tears begin to pool in her eyes again. She was locked in my gaze and tried unsuccessfully to blink away the oncoming tears. I knew why she refused to answer, saying yes would mean that she still didn't believe that I loved her and saying no would just be… well, a lie. "I will never leave you Bella. Ever. I love you more than anything in this world. When and if I do leave your side, I will never be gone long. You still don't believe that do you?"

Still no reply. Nothing but a little hitch in her breath.

"Silly Bella."

I stroked my fingers over her soft cheek, down her neck, over her collarbone and shoulder, sweeping slowly down her arm until I reached her hand. I watched as her face began to fill with blood and the heat of it sent a wave of warmth over me. I lifted her fingers to my lips and kissed each one before placing them on my face. Tears finally overflowed and slid silently down her flushed rosy cheeks.

_Why is it that no matter what I do lately, I make her cry?_

I kissed her luscious mouth and her wet cheeks then licked her tears from my own lips.

"Mmmm. Essence of Bella." That brought a smile to her face.

Shifting her in my lap, I lay down on the couch pulling her warm body over mine like a cozy quilt. Wrapping my arms around her, I listened to her heart, her breathing. I patterned my breathing to inhale her every breath as it flowed my direction. Bella was safe in my arms… for now.

As we lay there, I heard music in my head and I hummed it out load. Then the words flowed into my thoughts as if they were always there just waiting to be sung and they were beautiful. Another lullaby for Bella. This one I would save for her change. I kept the words locked in my mind, but continued to hum the tune for her and it was so soothing that within minutes I could feel she had fallen fast asleep in my arms.

_One day very soon, Bella, you will never sleep again._

It felt so wonderful having her with me this way. Her presence alone kept the dark nightmarish creature inside of me from rearing its ugly head and taking her only for her blood. As long as she was with me, I felt almost human.

After an hour Alice came to my door.

_Edward? Can I come in?_

"Yes, Alice." I whispered trying not to wake Bella. I was enjoying the warmth of her body on mine much more than I should. Alice opened the door and began to speak.

"Edward, Oh!" Her words stopped when she saw the position we were in. _Oops!_ "I'm sorry, it'll wait till later." She smiled and backed out of my room. _Wow! How does he do that and not take a bite of her?_

Her honest thought brought a smile to my face. "No, it's okay, we're not doing anything, she's sleeping." I whispered again. "What's going on?"

Alice smiled_, I'm still not getting anything. It's like whoever is coming keeps changing their mind and heading off in another direction then turning back around. I just don't get it, but I think Bella should be safe for a couple of days, at least until after graduation. I wasn't sure what you wanted to do about her going to school tomorrow. The weather hasn't changed for Friday, still full sun. So no vampire would dare get at her at least during the ceremony._

I thought about it for a moment then whispered, "Well, I don't like it, but I guess she could go to school these last two days. However, I want to make sure we can be with her until Renée leaves. She's supposed to stay for three days. I'm sure you'll be able to see whoever is coming much more clearly by then anyway."

_Fine. I'll let Carlisle know._ She closed my door quietly and I could barely hear her pad down the stairs. _It's a good thing he loves her so much._

Another twenty minutes passed and Bella began to stir. Then she woke with a start.

"Oh my gosh!" She lifted her head and looked at me bleary-eyed. "Edward, I'm so sorry! I had no idea I was even tired." She wiped at her eyes and ran her fingers through her silky brown hair, flipping it to one side causing overwhelming waves of her wonderful smell to flow all around me. All I could do was hold my breath and smile at her. _She is so beautiful when she first wakes up._

She nestled her cheek into my chest again her nose pressed right up under my chin.

"All I remember is hearing you hum that pretty song and I couldn't keep my eyes open." Then she pushed up with her arms to sit, but ended up almost rolling right off the couch. I caught her as she fell over the edge and lowered her easily to the carpet, then rolled off the couch gently lying on top of her.

_Well, this is very nice also_. I smiled at her. Bella smiled back, a sinfully seductive sort of smile. _Bella, what are you thinking?_ I cocked an eyebrow at her.

"I meant to do that." She said as she wrapped her arms around my back and her right leg over my left.

"Bella! You should be ashamed! If I didn't know better, I would think you're trying to seduce me." I gently scolded though I was only kidding. Nestling my nose into her neck, I breathed deeply. Her scent was rapidly becoming more intense and I knew I wouldn't be able to stay like this much longer. I was pushing my limits already.

"Edward," her voice deep and seductive, "You'd better get used to it. I'm planning on enjoying this position as often as possible in the near future and without all these clothes between us." Her hands moved slowly down my back to my waist and when I let her words sink in, I realized what she was doing and pushed myself up and away from her sitting back on the couch. She got to her knees in front of me and slowly reached out and took my hands.

"I'm sorry." I could see sadness in her eyes and hear it in her voice.

"No! Don't be sorry! Bella, I can't …we can't…not until… I would never forgive myself if I hurt you even by accident." I took in a breath, which I instantly regretted as Bella's scent had filled my entire room. Shaking my head, I brought her hands to my face. "Bella please don't think for a second that I don't want those things too because I do! I desperately want to… to…be with you…that way!"

Her smile was glorious and so was the blush that filled her cheeks and traveled down her neck disappearing somewhere inside of her blouse. I watched it spread downward until my eyes settled on her breasts. When I realized I was staring I looked up into her eyes and she turned an even a darker shade of red than I thought was possible. I stood up suddenly bringing her with me.

"We need to get out of here before I do something I'll never regret." I said as I headed to the door. "It's early, let's go to Port Angeles and really buy you something to wear to graduation, okay? I wouldn't want your conscience to bother you about lying to Mike." I added with just a bit of a contemptuous edge to it.

"I don't need anything. Really! Besides, I lie to Mike all the time and it never bothered me before." She giggled as I threw her over my shoulder and ran down the stairs.

"Humor me." I said as we left the front door and headed to my car.


	6. Chapter 6 Truths, Lies and Alibis

Chapter Six

Truths, Lies and Alibis

Bella had been so quiet lately. Not her usual talkative or argumentative self. She hadn't muttered a word during the trip to and from the beach a week and a half ago and she seemed to fall into the same pattern on the way to Port Angeles. Her silence seemed to shake me inside as if I could feel doubt growing within her. But, everyday she would demonstrate the signs of her true conviction and commitment to the new life she and I would soon start together. Through these displays, she revealed her love for me and I worshipped her for it.

But, how could she be truly happy knowing that she would soon be leaving behind everything she has ever known? I was the cause of that. I had been and would be the one to cause her much more pain. When the moment comes that I sink my teeth into her delicate flesh, I will hurt her in ways no other human male could ever hurt her. But…I also loved her in ways no other man could. I loved her in ways that I never dreamed possible, and I would never leave her. Still, I couldn't shake the thought that she wasn't totally happy with me, or maybe with her choice.

"Bella, have I done something to upset you?" She looked into my eyes and it seemed I had surprised her with my question.

"What?" She blurted out as her laughter filled my car. "Edward, what in the world are you talking about?"

_Okay, so maybe I was wrong._

"You've just been so quiet lately I thought that maybe I've upset you in someway."

She took my hand kissed my palm sending little warm tingles running up my arm and then held it in her lap. "Edward, I have never been happier than I am right now." Her sweet voice was filled with sincerity. Her eyes never left mine. "If there were someway I could open my thoughts to you, just once, I would do it in a heartbeat, if that's what it would take for you to believe that I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you." Her smile was perfectly genuine and wonderfully beautiful.

_So my assumption was completely incorrect. She is, for some unfathomable reason, perfectly content. How could I ever doubt her?_

There was a time when hearing those words from her lips was no more than my own unbelievably wild fantasy and… at a time when I craved her more for her blood than anything else, my worst nightmare. She never ceased to amaze me and I wondered how someone so perfect, so precious could feel anything more than revulsion for someone like me. But, whenever she did proclaim her love for me I was torn in two. Part of me felt thoroughly enraptured and melted with her every word and the other part wanted to cringe and run because I was so unworthy of her. _Did I really not know her at all?_

"You know, you're awfully quiet yourself most of the time." She said as she slowly and softly traced her fingers up and down the inside of my arm spreading her warmth through my veins.

"I have a good excuse, I'm thinking." I smiled enjoying the feelings that her gentle touch stirred in me.

"Uh-huh. Well, I think in your case, it's not so much thinking as it is obsessing." She teased even though we both knew it was the truth.

We rode along in silence for a while as I relished the warm sensation of her caress and her floral scent that filled my car. I glanced at her and could see there really was something bothering her. Her face, her eyes were giving it away.

"Bella, I know something's bothering you, I can see it in your eyes." I gently prodded.

She looked out the window at first then back down at my hand as she traced the lines there.

"Well, it's just… I'm worried about Renée and, well you know… she's been asking about you in her e-mails and about how serious we are. I've been avoiding her questions but I think I'm going to need to tell her something pretty soon. She is going to wonder why you're around all the time and I can't imagine what she'll think when she sees us together." She rolled her eyes.

"There's no need to worry about what she thinks, I've got that covered." I smiled. "Besides, I won't be around the whole time." She opened her mouth to protest. "Bella you need to have this time with her."

She sat back in a huff. "I know, but I just really wanted you to be there, for Renée to get to know you a little better."

"That's something we need to talk about." There would be no better time to discuss how she'll disappear with me… and my family.

"Talk about what?"

"I don't think it's a good idea for your mother to get to know me better since you and I will basically be running away together."

_How am I going to say this and not give away my entire plan to sweep her off as soon as her mother leaves?_

"Whether it's two months, six months or eighteen months before we get married, we are still leaving Forks, Bella. I will not take the chance to turn you while we are still living here. My family will be ready to go at a moments notice." I looked over at her catching her eyes with mine, "You will never see Renée or Charlie again. Are you ready for that? Truly ready? "

Her dark brown eyes grew as wide as I had ever seen them. I needed to see how ready she really was.

_If I kept driving right now, would she think twice? Would she protest? Would she regret it?_

She closed her eyes and bowed her head for a moment. Her fingers pressed firmly into my hand. My hollow stomach twisted in the oddest way.

_Am I that unsure of her answer? What if she says no?_

She looked into my eyes, took a deep breath and then spoke.

"Yes, I'm ready." Her voice was strong and sure and there was no fear in her eyes. I smiled, pulled my hand free and stroked her soft cheek, then placed my hand back within hers. _Dear Bella, your feelings might change once your mother arrives._

"While you're mother is here visiting with you, I'll be helping my family put things in order." I looked back out at the road ahead. We were just coming into Port Angeles. "We do this about every six or seven years so it's pretty automatic, but we do tend to collect quite a bit of stuff in between moves that has to be cleared out. Emmett and Rosalie will need to come home soon and pack up their things also."

"Edward, what am I going to tell Charlie about why I'm leaving? He'll want to know where we're going. Is there some way to soften the blow?" Her sweet voice filled with sadness. Of course, she would worry about her father and mother and how they would take her disappearance. She always worried about others before herself.

"I know and we need to make a plan, love. It can be as simple as sneaking off in the night leaving only a note or as elaborate as you want to make it. I'll do whatever you decide. You don't need to decide right away, we have time to think about that. No matter what the plan is, no matter how elaborate, the outcome will be the same, we will disappear and even with all of Charlie's resources, he'll never find us. You need to remember, Carlisle has been disappearing for well over 300 years now and has never once been found when he didn't choose to be." She sat quietly for a moment.

"Once we're gone, do you think that maybe Jacob's dad would tell Charlie your secret? I mean, the treaty will be broken, so what would stop them?"

"Unless they first reveal their secret to prove it, which I seriously doubt they are willing to do, Charlie will never believe them. Besides, they know we would never dare return to Forks. So in a sense, their tribe will be free of us and to get involved in the disappearance of an outsiders daughter would not be in their tribes best interest."

"So… you don't think that they would try to follow, to track us?"

I looked over at her and shook my head, which seemed to calm her fears a little, but I really didn't know the answer. Would Jacob follow through with his threat? Would he try to find us knowing that it was Bella's choice? And, how would we know if Alice couldn't see them coming?

We had arrived in Port Angeles, so I slowed the car and I asked Bella where she would like to stop first.

"Edward, I told you I don't need anything. Can't we just go get an ice cream?"

"Bella..." Just then, thoughts I had been accustomed to hearing came through loud and clear.

_Is that Edward and Bella?_ Jessica Stanley was close enough for her thoughts to hit me as if she were yelling out to me. I looked in the direction it seemed to come from and there she stood with Angela Weber. Both girls staring as my car pulled into the parking space just past them.

"There's your friends." I nodded toward the girls who hadn't moved in any direction as yet. Bella looked out her window and sighed.

"Well, at least now I have an alibi." She said as she opened her door. Hurriedly, I left the car and walked around to help her out, closing the door behind her. We were standing in front of a clothing store, Fashion Bug, and by the look of the displays in the windows, this store should have something Bella might like. I pressed my hand gently into her back pushing her forward.

"Hi Bella! Edward." Jessica was trying to be nice though I could see it was hard for her. She'd not been a very kind friend to Bella while I was gone and still held some jealousy toward her.

"Hi you guys!" Angela Weber. A true friend. "Are you looking for something for graduation too?"

"Yep." Bella and I walked up and I opened the door to the shop allowing the ladies to go in first as I followed. Bella reached back and took my hand not letting me get to far away.

"Edward, is everything okay? I heard you had some family emergency?" Angela was always sincerely concerned about her friends, but not to the point of prying. Well, except that one time with Bella.

"Yes, things are getting back to normal now. Thank you for asking Angela."

"Sure. Are you guys going to Grad Night?"

"No, my mom is flying in from Florida and staying a few days, so I'm sure we'll just be going out to dinner or something." All the girls began shuffling through the racks of clothing, pulling out a blouse here, a skirt there. Bella pulled out a blouse and held it up for a second, long enough for me to take it from her and fold it over my arm. She just smiled and shook her head. I wasn't about to let her get away with not trying anything on.

I followed close behind as the three girls got into conversations about school, going to grad night, staying up all night partying locked in the gym and Jessica's new boyfriend from another high school, which was a complete fabrication. Finally, after twenty minutes of just looking with a few outfits picked out, they headed toward the dressing rooms. Bella took the clothing from my arm and her and Angela went inside after Jessica.

Jessica dominated the entire conversation with her endless babble not only spewing from her mouth, but also in her mind, on how she looked in each piece of clothing. It was amazing how self-centered Jessica was. She thought of nothing but herself. Did her butt look big in this skirt, was this or that blouse low cut enough to show her cleavage and then, suddenly, she came out throwing all the things she had taken into the dressing room in a heap at the entrance. She caught my eye as she walked past me and the smile on her face was nothing more than an unattractive smirk, I almost burst out laughing.

_They'll hang it up, that's what they get paid for._

I walked a few feet away as a display caught my eye. A light blue jean skirt and sapphire blue blouse with tiny threads that sparkled in the lights. Not too frilly. The blouse was cut quite low with small puffy cap sleeves and a small satin bow at the neckline. The skirt would come up to Bella's mid-thigh, not too short, just enough to show off her shapely legs. I pulled one of each from the rack and walked back to the dressing room entrance when I heard Bella frantically whispering.

"Angela, he's standing right outside the dressing rooms!"

"He can't hear us from there!" _Why doesn't she just answer the question?_

"You'd be surprised!" Bella whispered.

"Well? Did he ask you?" _To marry him?_

I could hear only Angela's thoughts, as Bella must have merely nodded her head.

_Oh my God! He did! I knew it! _"So…? Did you say yes?"

Still nothing from Bella's lips.

"Bella!" Angela's whisper had dropped a notch.

Then in the quietest of whispers, I heard Bella's reply. "Angela, you swear to tell no one? I mean, not a soul?"

"I swear Bella, I won't tell anyone." _Oh Bella, I would never tell your secrets._

"I can't believe I'm telling you any of this with Edward even in this building!" There was silence for a moment. "I haven't told him yet but… " Her whisper must have been hard for even Angela to hear, but I was sure she was getting the full facial expression.

_Oh. My. God!_ "Bella I'm so happy for you!" Angela whispered back. "You were made for each other you know?"

A feeling of overwhelming joy rushed through me like a heat wave. I was so unbelievably happy! A crazy smile spread on my face and it felt so glorious. I wanted to jump and yell and generally act like a fool right there in the store. However, I didn't dare let Bella know that I'd overheard their conversation, though I knew she would suspect that I would hear it in Angela's mind.

When I had returned to Forks, to Bella, I had expected certain people to be very unhappy. One being Mike Newton and a few others who didn't appreciate any of my family here. But, never in my wildest dreams did I expect Angela's reaction to my return. Her anger toward me was a complete shock.

She had been the one true friend who stayed by Bella's side when she needed some one the most. From what I could gather from her thoughts, she had been one of the very few to see Bella break down. Her recollections of that day were so painful for me to hear, but I took them all in just the same, to get some idea of the hell I had inadvertently put Bella through.

She had seriously thought I had left Bella with a child growing inside her and unwed. It seemed that she came to this conclusion when Bella had vomited in the parking lot after her first week back to school. She had volunteered to take her to a clinic in Port Angeles, but Bella had assured her that she wasn't pregnant. Even so, Angela still had a hard time believing that we had never 'slept together' as she thought of it.

I had made it a mission to put myself back in her good graces and with time, she slowly changed her opinion of me and believed in her heart that Bella and I were destined for each other. I couldn't agree more.

Quickly, I strolled back over to the racks where I found the skirt and blouse I was still holding in my hand and stayed there until Bella and Angela came out of the dressing rooms. Bella walked up behind me and as I turned to look at her, I could see that her face was the most beautiful bright shade of pink.

"What's that matter? Your face is all flushed. Was it hot in there?" I hoped that I was behaving normally even though I had just over heard the most wonderful news in the world. She still had the clothing in her arms. "Are we buying all of those?" I nodded towards the bundle of hangers.

"No, not my style. I just need to put them back." She turned and began to walk away and I followed stepping up next to her so I could show what I had found.

"I'd like you to try these on." I held them out to her. She glanced at them and then hung her other things back on their racks before taking the skirt and blouse from me. She looked them over. A smile came to her lips and she flirtatiously batted her eyes at me as she headed back to the dressing room.

She emerged within seconds dressed in the outfit and slowly danced around in front of me. I realized very quickly that her scent was becoming more fragrant than normal. It was surprising how this simple outfit brought out the perfectly pale color of her skin. How the small sparkling threads brought my eyes right to the low neckline and down around the curve of her breasts. The short skirt made her legs appear long and sleek.

Suddenly the tingle of electricity flowed through my veins as if a storm were slowly building inside of my own body. Her sweet scent swirled around me, intoxicating me.

_Stop breathing! Stupid! Stop breathing!_

It took every ounce of self-control to stop breathing her in, to not reach out and touch her, not to pull her into my arms and cover her with kisses as my hands roamed freely over her soft skin. I wanted her. I needed her… all of her. All that she was right then, all that she would become, pulled at the very core of my being and I would be nothing without her. Then she spoke and brought me back to my senses.

"You know I would never have picked this myself." She danced closer until she was gently pressing her body next to mine. "Do you like it?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but all that came out was, "Isabella…" Not another word… but the thoughts of her that sprang up in my mind were totally erotic. _Isabella, you are so… incredibly…seductive!_

The look on my face might not have been much different if she were dancing naked in front of me. I managed to nod my approval at her as she went up on her tiptoes to plant a small kiss on my lips, causing my whole body to ache for her. She stepped back and her eyes widened for just a moment as she looked into mine.

_Could she feel it…the electricity tingling though me?_

She stood still for a second longer with a puzzled look on her face. Then her lips turned up into a flirtatious sensual smile before walking back into the dressing room. The heat from her not so innocent kiss still lingered on my lips and the temptation to follow her in was so great I actually took a step forward before realizing where I was going and stopping myself.

When she came back out dressed in her other clothes I saw her in a new light. She was becoming more self-assured, more confident in her appearance. She hadn't even tripped over her own feet as she displayed herself so blatantly in front of me, which was a miracle in and of itself. I smiled, leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead.

_Maybe she's beginning to see some of what it is that I see in her._

I let Bella lead the way over to the cashier to pay for her outfit. I was shaken from my reverie by Jessica's annoying voice.

"Well, I didn't find anything I wanted. What about you Angela?"

"Yeah, I found this." She held up a bracelet to show Jessica before handing it over to the cashier.

"Okay, well I wanna go check out the Alley Cat on 1st street so hurry up." Jessica looked at the clothing Bella held in her arms. Her thoughts were nothing short of pure green envy. She loved the outfit, but not on Bella. "You like that?" She pointed at the blouse and skirt with an unpleasant look on her face. I spoke up before Bella could.

"I love it!" Even though I would have loved nothing better than to growl menacingly at her, the vision of Bella dancing in front of me was still fresh in my mind and it rolled off my tongue as if I were an overexcited teenage boy.

_God! He's one lovesick puppy!_ Jessica smirked. "Well, they do say love is blind." She remarked offhandedly.

I smiled and flashed my teeth at her. I could hear an indescribable spark of fear run through her mind and she slowly backed away from me. She didn't understand why she was suddenly frightened, she just knew she needed to get out of there. She turned and walked away with Angela toward the doors.

Bella handed the outfit to the cashier and I gladly paid for them. We walked out to my car and heard Jessica and Angela calling out good-byes as Jessica's car drove past us.

Bella waved and called back, "Bye, Angela! Bite me, Jessica!"

I burst out laughing so hard, I choked on my own venom! I pushed Bella against my car, wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her shoulder as I laughed.

"God! Could she be any more shallow?" Bella started laughing with me. Even though I couldn't let Bella know, it was the most wonderfully joyous night in all of my existence.


	7. Chapter 7 Twice Bitten

Chapter Seven

Twice Bitten

Thursday morning. The last day of school before graduation.

After seeing Bella off safely at school, I was able to get back to Alice and our game. Alice and I had been engaging in a chess tournament for the better part of two days. We didn't play like normal people, or should I say, as the game is normally played…to win. We couldn't with her seeing the out come of every game and me reading her every move. So, we played to lose, to force the opponent to check mate. Which was much harder to accomplish.

It was proving even more difficult than usual because neither of us were able to keep our minds fully on the game with an unknown visitor heading our way soon. I wanted to finish this match before going out to hunt, something I had been putting off, but found I was in desperate need of, having spent so much of my time in Bella's company. I had allowed myself to go far to long without feeding and found as I lay in Bella's bed early this morning, the scent of her blood called to me. My eyes were still dark golden in color, but I needed to be much more cautious now with my male urges becoming much more prominent. I should have gone straight out to hunt but, instead, I sat playing chess with Alice.

With my next move, this game would be over. I was just getting ready to move my piece when I noticed that Alice had gone utterly still. In the spirit of the game, my mind had been closed off to hers. Wondering if she was peeking into the future, I opened my mind to her thoughts.

"Alice, cheating again?" I asked with a sly smile.

Her vision flashed like photographs in my head. I had never experienced one of her visions from this point of view, as if I were inside the person's head, as if it were all happening to me.

I was walking down a hall and saw a sign for a girl's restroom.

In the restroom, through her eyes, I saw a flash of Bella's reflection in the mirror.

Inside a stall, I saw a hand come over the top of the door, the door crumpled, and was torn off the hinges, flying across the room smashing into the mirror.

Then, Victoria's horrid face inches from mine as I flew backwards.

Both Alice and I jumped up out of our chairs, knocking them half way across the room. The most ghastly roars ripped from our throats as if Victoria were standing right there in the room with us.

Alice grabbed me, her eyes were dark and wild, "Edward, No!"

"Run! Just run!"

We flew across the room and I grabbed the front door, almost ripping off its hinges as I threw it open. I was already twenty feet away when I heard the glass shatter and tinkle to the ground. We ran faster than we had ever run before. I just prayed that no one would see us through the pouring rain and if they did, they wouldn't be able to make us out in any case. As we got closer to the school, I asked Alice which restroom we had seen.

"I think it's the one in the gym."

I didn't care if we had to search every restroom on campus. If we didn't find her soon it wouldn't matter if anyone saw us of not. Reaching out to find Victoria's thoughts, I instantly wished I hadn't.

_Oh yes! So hot, so delicious! Yes!_

In that second, I saw myself in her thoughts. The thrill of the hunt, the seduction of the prey, the vicious tearing of flesh and the voracious life-sucking monster I truly am. And, then, in the next second…there was confusion and rage and then … nothing. Nothing at all. Her thoughts, once so strong, were just gone.

As we reached the gym, I could see small muddy footprints leading inside the opened door, along with what looked like huge werewolf tracks. I grabbed Alice's arm and pointed at the floor. The sound of muffled growling coming from inside the restroom then, the rank odor hit me – werewolf. There was a wolf there somewhere and the scent became stronger the closer we came to the hall. As we stepped inside, I pointed down at the floor. Both sets of tracks led inside that door. I could hear the stifled growling coming from inside the restroom. The scent of werewolf was overpowering, but not enough to cover the scent of blood. Bella's blood.

Without a thought to my own safety, I crashed through the door and saw a massive werewolf, the size of a bear, standing over the limp body of a woman with flaming red hair. It had to be Victoria, but the face was gone from the skull that was completely crushed under the massive jaws. The werewolf's eyes flashed up at me. It's lips curled back exposing a considerable amount of long glistening teeth.

_I don't have time for this!_ I cursed inside. _Where's Bella? Oh God! Where's Bella?_

I rushed to the stall the door had been ripped from and there she sat on the toilet. Hurt, but alive.

_Oh, Bella! Thank God!_

She was alive, but her face was contorted in pain and she held her arm out to me, her eyes wide and focused on an extremely small bite that had been cleanly torn into her flesh. Even though it was so small, blood was dripping freely from the wound and the sight of her blood caused my stomach to twist violently.

_Don't look at it!_

Wrenching my eyes from her wrist, I quickly scanned over her body for any other signs of trauma and saw four long scratches on the side of her neck.

_Not bites, could they be claw marks?_

"Bella!" My voice was full of relief.

"GET AWAY FROM HER!" A voice roared outside of the stall and in my head.

I saw Bella's lips move, but no sound came out. Blue and purple welts in the shape of a hand were rising on her throat – _Victoria had been choking her!_ Anger I had not felt since our encounter with James, came crashing through me. It was all I could do to not jump out of the stall and tear Victoria's dead body limb from limb.

I had to stay focused on Bella. I had to save her.

"Jacob, please! Edward can help her, please Jacob, you must trust him!" I heard Alice pleading.

"You kill her and I swear, I will never stop. I will hunt you down no matter what it takes!" Jacob growled in a deep menacing voice, but I didn't have time to worry about him.

_Do what you need to, Edward! Save her if you can! I'll fight him if I have to! _Alice's brave thought swam frantically through my mind.

I had to do something, and fast, or risk losing them both and if that happened, I'd lie down at Jacob's feet and let him end it all right then. Bella's lips were moving…it looked like she said… "Please Edward" but no sound accompanied her plea. I knew what I needed to do.

Taking her hand, I placed my lips over the wound being careful to not touch her with my teeth and slowly drew her blood into my mouth. The taste of it was so overwhelming, so….

_So…wonderfully …delicious! Just as I remembered._

My thirst sprang to life and I was lost in her blood.

"Jacob, take her and be safe, please." Alice's voice had calmed down and I heard a thought come from her, _Edward, I think…_

Then another thought rode over hers. Jacob's thought was blasting into my head.

_I know you can hear me, Cullen! You've done nothing but hurt her and you put her in the most horrible danger by just being here! Leave Forks and leave Bella or I'll break this stupid treaty and come after you. I promise, the next time I see you, I will kill you!_

I heard claws scramble against the tile floor, out the door then, it faded away, but I couldn't think about that. I was consumed with the desire to taste more, drink more. It took all I had to fight the urge to bite her and open up the wound in her so I could draw her blood faster.

_He's gone. Edward it's okay._

_No! It's not okay! Alice, help me! Please! I… can't… stop!_

I sucked harder at the bite and the taste of Bella's blood, even tainted with another vampire's venom, made it impossible for me to stop.

_Don't bite her! I'm not that monster! I'm not that vampire I saw in Victoria's mind! I love Bella!_

_Oh Edward! Is she…_ Alice's thought relayed how really frightened she was. Then her voice was in my ear. "Edward is she going to be all right?"

I could still taste venom that was not mine, but I had to stop – if I didn't right then, I never would. I would drain her and leave her cold and white and dead.

_NO!_

I found the strength to pull her arm from my mouth and as I did, I gulped in a huge breath. As the air rushed over my tongue, the taste of her was intensified and my whole body shuddered involuntarily from delight. Then, I felt Alice's hands on my shoulders and the lust for Bella's blood faded to a point where I could think straight.

_How am I ever going to change her? How will I ever stop myself before I drain her of every precious drop of her blood? I can't do it!_

_Edward!_ _Is she going to be all right?_ Alice's thought screamed in my head.

"I don't know! I snapped back at her, "I think so. We have to get her to Carlisle."

Holding my breath, I leaned in and carefully pulled Bella into my arms as she wrapped her arms around my neck. She was so weak. Her eyes were wet with tears, sparkling. Then she began behaving in a curious manner, sniffing around my face. I was sure she could smell her own blood and I hoped she wasn't about to be sick from it. Her eyes stopped and focused on my mouth. She reached up with her finger and wiped something from the corner and brought it in front of her face. It was blood, her blood. As she gazed strangely at it for a second, I was sure she was about to pass out from the sight and smell of it, but instead, she licked it from her fingertip. I was shocked – It was hard to believe what I had just seen.

Quickly, I licked my lips to remove any blood that may still be present, then turned and Alice and I headed for door. We heard a commotion coming down the hall. The noise had caught the attention of those in the gym. People flooded in the door as I was trying to get Bella out. Too many voices and thoughts poured onto my head at once. The voice of a teacher came over all the others.

"Is everyone okay in here?"

"No, she's been attacked. A wolf must have dragged some poor girl in here out of the rain and Bella walked in on it feeding." Desperately trying to make up a plausible lie.

_Edward, we've got to get out of here! _Alice thought to me before she spoke, "We can't wait for the paramedics, there's no time. We'll take her to the hospital." Then, she walked straight ahead parting the crowd so I could pass.

When we got outside, I felt Bella go limp in my arms. She had fainted, which at the time was probably for the best. The rain was pouring into her face so, shifting her in my arms, I was able to tilt her head into my chest.

"Edward we don't have a car!"

"Bella's truck! Check her pocket for the keys!"

Alice found them instantly and we ran only a little faster than normal human speed just in case someone was watching. Jumping in the truck, Alice started it up, threw it into gear and took off. Bella's eyes fluttered open. She looked confused and a little amused at the same time. Pulling out her cell phone, Alice speed dialed Carlisle and waited. When he answered, I could easily hear both sides of the conversation.

"Hello Alice, what's up?"

"Victoria bit her!" Alice did her best no to fall apart. She was angry with herself for not seeing this coming sooner. But, it wasn't her fault. Victoria obviously had learned how Alice's visions worked and done everything possible to keep from being 'seen'.

"What? Bella? Oh God, Alice, is she starting to turn?" Carlisle's voice cracked with emotion.

"No, I think we got to her in time."

"Where's Victoria? Did Edward kill her?"

"No, Jacob Black took her."

"Jacob Black – the werewolf?"

"Yes, he was there before us."

"And you didn't see him there in your…"

"No, I can't see werewolves!" Her voice was rising again.

"I'm coming right now."

"Okay, we'll meet you on the way."

"Do you want me to call her father?"

"No, I'll call him." She sighed.

"Alice, be careful, both of you."

"We will."

Everything Jacob had thought was true. He had saved Bella's life again. I owed him everything for the many times he saved her from death. I could never repay that sort of debt. Besides, he made it clear that the only thing he would accept would be for my family to leave Forks, leave Bella. He wanted Bella as his own and I would never give her up to him. It was unthinkable. I would never leave without her. Ever.

_His eyes._ _I've never seen his eyes look that way before._

A hauntingly beautiful voice floated into my head and drifted through me, became part of me.

_What? Who was that?_

While staring at Bella, I was still thinking of how Jacob had demanded I leave her, when I saw her slightly shake her head.

_Oh Edward, don't be sad, please._

The mysterious voice flowed into me again.

_Oh my God! That voice… those thoughts are coming from Bella._

Alice dial her phone again. "Hurry up!"

I was so entranced with Bella that I missed Alice's entire conversation. I couldn't look away from Bella's angelic face, as if she had mesmerized me. I swore I could hear her thoughts, but they were so focused, so intense and different from any thoughts I'd ever heard before. Nothing like normal human thought patterns. They flowed through me, became part of me. My cells drank them, soaked them up like blood. Her thoughts were filled with … love, desire and need. It was as if I could feel the love she held in her heart for me, genuinely feel it within myself, filling my every empty hollow space. It was a love song for my soul.

_How could I have ever doubted her feelings for me?_

Somewhere I heard Alice asking me a question then, shouting when I didn't answer, "Edward!"

I opened my mouth to speak, but then I heard it again.

_Kiss me, please kiss me._ It was an undeniable request.

"I don't know." The words finally came out, but so slow, almost slurred. I watched as Bella's mouth opened and tried to form words before she reached up and touched her lips with her finger.

_Kiss me._

Now the request was more seductive, more urgent.

_Come on, what else do you need, a gold invitation? _

Again, it was the sweetest song I'd ever heard.

_It's impossible! I couldn't have heard that! Bella's mind is not open to me!_

Bella's hand stroked my face as it traveled around my neck, pulling me closer and I had no will to fight her.

_Oh God! He smells so wonderful. _

Her thoughts were music to my heart and electricity began to course through my veins.

_Isabella. _Was all I could think as her lips pressed forcefully onto mine, her tongue gently forcing its way into my mouth.

_No Bella! Don't! _I pushed her down hard and away from my face, "Bella? Please!"

_NO! KISS ME!_

Her thought crashed into me, through me, stealing all my courage to fight.

Terrified me.

Within the blink of an eye, Bella had wrenched herself from my grasp and was straddling my legs with her back to the windshield, her hands had grabbed my face and as she kissed me so passionately, it took every bit of my will power, my well practiced discipline, to not just bite her right then and there.

Alice was shouting, not only with her voice, but also in her thoughts. "Edward! Stop her! What's the problem?"

Taking Bella's upper arms, I was trying to push her from me without hurting her fragile human body in the process.

_I almost died again! I'm done being cautious! You promised!_

As urgent as her thoughts were, they still flowed into me like the most tempting music. Then all at once, she pulled her lips from mine and the pain on her face was undeniable. I could hear it inside of me, feel the fire that was traveling inside her blood as it hit her heart.

_PAIN! OH MY GOD! THE PAIN!_

Her thought smashed into me with such a violent impact, it seemed to suck the very breath right from my lungs.

_I stopped too soon! There was still venom in her blood and now she was beginning to turn! Please no! Not Victoria's venom! Please!_

Still straddling my lap, she began to writhe in pain.

_Please help me! Oh God Carlisle, where are you?_

"Edward! You have to change her! You have to bite her NOW!" _She's turning! Bite her! Make it your venom that turns her!_

"NO! Not yet! I'm not ready!" _I'm afraid! I can't do it on my own, I'll … I'll kill her!_

"You can't leave her like this!" _Do it NOW!_

"NO! Just drive faster…we have to get her to Carlisle." Still pushing against her when she lost control, I slammed her delicate body into the windshield and dashboard. Quickly, I swung her around onto my lap and wrapped her in my arms trying to secure her. Bella's angelic face was so full of pain, I wanted to cry for her. Her body kept pulling together then, she suddenly kicked out and hit Alice full force in the shoulder, rocking the truck from side to side.

_Edward!_ _Do something!_

Pulling her legs in, I pressed her head into my chest. A sob tore through me and even as I sobbed, I could feel the changes begin to happen within me. The dark pooling sensation in my eyes intensified my sight, all my senses heightened into predator mode. I tried to fight the changes, but I knew it was losing the battle.

Alice's thoughts softened as she tried to soothe me. _Edward, I'm so sorry. Talk to her, sing to her. It's going to be okay._

I began to hum the song that had come to me just the night before, her lullaby. I could feel her body calming, her breathing and heartbeat slowing dramatically. She opened her eyes. There was fear in those deep dark brown depths and her thoughts poured into me. She loved me, had always loved me. She had no doubts at all in my ability to save her and not only from Victoria's venom, but from this mortal human life as well. Nevertheless, she was scared, scared to death. Even through the fear, she wanted me, and only me, to change her.

She raised her wounded wrist to my face, even though it had stopped bleeding, the scent of her blood was right under my nose, so close to my waiting mouth. Her thoughts continued to pour like rain into me as I felt the rush of her scent flow through my nose and throat. The dark pooling in my eyes increased as my sight came to it's most extreme. My muscles tighten on her to keep her from fleeing, even though she was giving herself to me.

_Please! Bite me._

Her request echoed across the canyons of my brain and I wanted to bite her, wanted to taste her once again. I was ready to make her mine, forever.

_Yes, Bella, I'm ready._

Then Alice's thought hit me full force.

_Carlisle!_

Looking up through the windshield, I watched as Carlisle expertly turn a 180' in front of the truck as Alice slammed on the brakes, sliding to a halt on the wet pavement.

Smiling in relief, I opened my mouth to speak and felt venom flow over my lip and down my chin. Bella's thoughts caressed my mind.

_Bite me, change me._ I saw her lips move and heard the words in my head, _I love you._

"Bella, my beautiful Bella. Please forgive me."

I opened the truck door and closing her eyes, she leaned her head back into the rain exposing her tender, swollen neck.

Carlisle's voice slammed into my head, _No Edward! Don't bite her! Too many people are involved now. _

He was standing in the opened door. I looked into his golden eyes._ That time will come soon enough._

He took Bella's arm and studied the wound for a second. Leaning my head back, I breathed, trying to subdue the thirst that I had allowed to take me over. I looked back at Carlisle hoping my face didn't give away my fear.

"Bella, can you hear me?" Bella's eyes opened and I could see the total disappointment written on her face. "I need to taste your blood for traces of venom. Don't be afraid, everything will be okay." Carlisle's voice had taken on that hypnotic tone we all used to entice our prey, to calm them before we would strike.

Bella's lips moved and I could hear her pleading in my head, _No, no! He was ready._

Her body gave way to silent sobs and her thoughts of absolute hopelessness filled me.

"Oh Bella!' All she had ever wanted, an eternal life with me, had just been washed away with the rain. "Please, Bella, don't cry, please, don't cry." I started humming to her again and could feel her thoughts calm instantly.

"Bella, honey, I need to check your blood, it's all or nothing." Carlisle's voice was still that calming silky tone, "There is no in between with vampire venom. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Bella nodded her head slowly and then, Carlisle placed his mouth over her open wound. A flicker of irrational thought burned in my head as I watched Carlisle draw my love's precious blood.

_Carlisle hasn't tasted the blood of a human since he turned Emmett. Will he find Bella's blood hard to resist? Will he turn her now if there is no other choice? Will he be able to stop if there is? NO! She wants me to do it! I won't share her! She's mine!_

Tightening my hold on Bella's fragile body, I fought the crazy thoughts that forced their way into my head.

Only seconds had passed when Carlisle released her arm, laying it gently on her stomach. Pulling her upright, I began to gently wipe the rain from her face.

_I'm not positive but I think that an infinitesimal trace of venom has remained in her blood. There's not much else I can do, but by the look of her throat, we need to get her to the hospital and on some anti-inflammatory meds to stop the swelling and make sure no damage has been done._

I wasn't ready to let Bella know her mind was open to me, so, using our low rapid speech, I let Carlisle know about that new and amazing development. "Carlisle, I can hear her thoughts."

Carlisle looked into my eyes. _What? You can hear her now? When did this happen?_

"It began here in the truck. Something has changed. Her thoughts aren't like anyone else's, they're different…they're… wonderful." The words raced from my lips.

_That's very interesting, Edward. I don't understand why her body didn't continue with the change if there is venom still present in her blood. Well, she'll be lucky if that's the only side effect she develops._

Climbing from the truck, both Carlisle and I ran swiftly to his car. Placing Bella in the back seat, I carefully slid in next to her wrapping my arms around her, bracing myself in case she had another outburst of affection. I was still so amazed that she had been able to overpower me in the first place. It was frightening and exhilarating all at the same time. Looking down into Bella's blood shot eyes, I immediately heard her thoughts caressing me as she searched my face.

_He was ready._

She knew. She knew how close she was to becoming mine forever.

"Yes, for that moment, I was ready." My fingers gently stroked her glorious angel's face and a slight tingle of electricity ran through me into her.

_How can he know what I'm thinking?_

"I can hear you, my beautiful Bella. It's not like anyone I've ever heard before." My happiness was so overwhelming. I could hear her deepest thoughts, her deepest feelings, which were as true as she had always said they were. "I don't know if it will last, but it is the most wonderful feeling I have ever had!"

Pulling her to me, I kissed her with all the love I felt for her, as I had never kissed her before. Her blood raced through her, her heart fluttering within her chest. I released her, heard her conflicting thoughts flow into my mind and had to smile. The advantage of keeping her thoughts private was gone… for now.

_How in the world could I have ever doubted her love for me? Could she ever forgive me for insisting on her promise to marry me?_

Looking into her beautiful eyes, I confessed. "I'm so sorry if I have ever questioned your love for me. I will never doubt you again." She smiled, moving her lips and I heard it in my head as she pumped her arm.

_YES!_

I could take that one word two ways and I chose to take it anyway I could get. As we sped toward the hospital, I started laughing, releasing the pent up tension I had held onto for the last 15 minutes and Carlisle gladly joined in. Bella just rolled her beautiful brown eyes at me, closed them and feeling safe at last, fell fast asleep in my arms.


	8. Chapter 8 The Waiting

Chapter Eight

The Waiting

_Why didn't she continue to turn? What has opened her mind to Edward? How did a single werewolf take down a vampire?_

Thoughts were racing through Carlisle's mind as he pulled up to the hospital. I had tried to pick out only the ones I needed to hear.

_How did Jacob Black overpower Victoria? That is something I'd never thought possible. We never dreamed a single werewolf could prove much of a threat. But according to Edward, her thoughts were cut off so abruptly he must have come upon her in surprise._

He examined each thought and filed it as he always did. It wouldn't do me any good to try to discuss it with him, Bella's care was much more important at the moment. He pulled under the over hang from the underground parking, out of the rain and stopped the car.

"Wait here for Alice, then take my car and go home."

"Carlisle, please, I need to stay with Bella." I could already tell by the tone of his full 'doctor mode' voice that I had no choice but to do as he asked.

"Look in the mirror, Edward. You can't be seen by anyone right now." He was looking in his rearview mirror at my eyes then, he sighed, "There will be nothing for you to do. She'll be going through admissions and being checked out and you won't be able to be with her until later anyway. Please go home. I'll let you know when you can see her. Besides, you need to hunt."

"I'm not thirsty." I really hadn't been thirsty before all this happened and now with Bella's blood running through my veins and seeping into every cell of my body, I felt as if I would never thirst again, at least, not for any other blood.

"Of that I have no doubt. Victoria must have released a large amount of venom for you to take as much as you did and still not remove it all. Edward, I don't care if they are black or gold, but you can't step foot away from our home with eyes that color."

I looked down into my love's sleeping face and traced a finger over her lips. Her breath caught as my icy finger left her skin. It pained me to leave her.

"Carlisle, I didn't take that much from her. I… wanted to, but… I… stopped." With her reaction in the truck, it was obvious that I had stopped too soon.

"Edward, we'll talk about that later, but for now, please let me take care of her. She'll be fine. Go, do as I ask." I was defeated by his request.

Reluctantly, I opened the door and slipped out from under Bella's resting body, laying her gently on the seat and kissing her sweet soft lips. After shutting the door, Carlisle pulled away and headed for the emergency entrance. Flipping open my cell phone, I called Alice.

I knew why I couldn't be seen. My eyes were the dark burgundy wine of a vampire who had feasted on human blood.

_Did I really drink so much? I can't believe that I did but… I did draw her blood in hard… but the venom had already traveled too deep into her blood stream. What was taking place inside her veins right now? Will my venom change what has already been set in motion?_

I couldn't possibly have pulled any large amount of blood through the small clean bite Victoria had given Bella. Her bite was controlled as was her strangle hold on Bella's neck. Did she really have so much control to not tear Bella's throat wide open and drain her in seconds? That was her downfall really. It gave Jacob time to rescue my only love once again. And, gave me the chance I needed to draw the venom from her without having to inject my own. If that were the case, Jacob would have attacked and with the damage he inflicted on Victoria, I couldn't imagine the injuries he would have caused to Alice and I.

_And what of Bella?_

I couldn't even begin to think what would have happened to her, so I pushed it away. It was much too painful to think about the 'what ifs'.

_Too many 'what ifs'._

Within a few minutes Alice arrived, parked Bella's truck in the under ground parking. Then ran up to get Carlisle's keys and we headed for home.

_She's safe now. Carlisle and Esme love her. They'll do what needs to be done if she starts to turn._

Alice's thought hit me in an unexpected way.

"What is that supposed to mean? Is Esme coming here?"

"Yes, of course. Someone has to be with Bella every second for a while."

"What did you mean they'll do what needs to be done?" A growl was beginning to rise in me. "I will be the only one to turn her! Not anyone else! Not Carlisle! Not Esme! I will do it!" I was yelling now. An irrational fear came over me and I wanted to jump from the speeding car and run back to the hospital. I had to make certain that Carlisle took her into the hospital and not somewhere else. I reached for the door handle.

"Edward, don't!" Alice snapped. "Calm down! All Carlisle and Esme will do is get her out of there and bring her home! To our house!" I could tell she was very upset but it didn't seem to be aimed at me. "Please don't yell! Just..please…don't." _Please Edward! I'm so sorry!_

Taking in a huge breath, I let it out slowly. I couldn't worry about Bella. She was in the most capable hands now. I had complete trust in Carlisle and Esme and I could do nothing but believe that they would do what they thought best.

But, poor Alice! She was beating herself up inside for not having seen this coming. It made me feel awful for losing my temper with her. I reached over and took her hand from the steering wheel and kissed it.

"Alice, it's not your fault. I apologize for losing my temper, I was just so frightened and…"

"I didn't see her, Edward!" She suddenly cried out, "I didn't see her until Bella decided to go into the restroom. It's like she came from no where." She sat quietly searching her brain for a reason, any reason that she was unable to see Victoria until it was almost too late. Then she ripped her hand from mine and slammed it down on the steering wheel. "Dammit! How did Jacob know? How did he know Victoria was there and why didn't he warn us? He knew she was after Bella!" A sob escaped her throat. "Edward, why can't I see the werewolves? Why didn't I see Victoria? If Bella would have died, it would have been my fault!" Sobs shook her tiny frame. "Edward, I just feel so… helpless!"

"Alice, you did see what happened and Bella didn't die! I'm not blaming you for what happened today! Neither will anyone else, including Bella! If you want to blame someone, blame me!" I saw it all. Jacob was trying to warn her! "Now I understand why Jacob was waiting for Bella at work! I heard his thoughts and he was trying to warn her and I refused to let her go in." I could see the whole thing in my head. They knew Victoria was around and trying to get past them, but I hadn't left Bella alone since last night so, this was Victoria's first chance to get to her. "Alice, I should have heard her thoughts…unless…she must have found out about me, about my ability and yours, and kept her mind on something else altogether. It's the only answer. That's why you felt as if whoever was coming kept changing their mind."

"How would she know? Who would tell her about us?"

"I don't know the answer to that and now we may never know how she got around us." I wondered if maybe Victoria had gone up to Denali and somehow learned about us from Tanya or one of her family. And if so, why didn't Tanya tell Esme when she was up there buying the new house? Too many questions and I was running out of time for the answers.

Just then Alice's thought came to me.

_I can smell her on you._

"What? Who?" I realized whom she meant as soon as I asked it.

"You need to shower… her blood is on you."

"I know, I smell it too." _Freesias_. I looked out the window as she turned into our driveway. "I almost lost her again, Alice."

"I'm so sorry I couldn't see this, Edward." She sighed, "At least the danger is gone for now so, you won't need to rush into changing her. You have the time to make plans."

The brief taste of Bella's blood had all but destroyed all my years of strict discipline. The temptation to taste her again was undeniable. Only my extraordinary love for her and my overwhelming desire to have her with me forever kept her from death.

"No, I don't. I don't have time. I need her, Alice. I can't wait any longer." Her blood sang to me stronger than ever. _If I don't bite her under controlled circumstances and soon, I will kill her. I know that now. _"As soon as her mother leaves, I'm taking her to Denali."

Alice parked the car and sat still for a moment, lost in another vision. I tried to catch what she was seeing, but it was not very strong and she purposely blocked it from me. A smile came to her pixie lips.

"No, you won't Edward." She turned her face in my direction leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Things have changed." She smiled, jumped out of the car and raced into the house.

I went inside, ran up to my room stripping off my clothing as I crossed into the bathroom and stepped into the shower. Turning on the water, I stood under the flow until it shifted from cold to hot.

Until I met Bella, I had never minded taking showers in whatever water that came from the tap. But, since I had been lying next to her as she slept and held her close to me, I had begun to relish the feel of warmth on my stone cold skin.

The sweet smell of Bella's blood washed away from my body. Standing with my face pointing into the hot water, I wished I could wash away the fear that had begun to grip me in Bella's truck. I could hear Alice recounting the events to Jasper somewhere else in the house so, I did my best to block out their voices and thoughts and let my own memories run through my mind. Soon, I heard a knock at my door and felt a calming sensation sweep over me.

"Yes Jasper?" I didn't hear anything for a moment then, he must have realized I was closing his thoughts out.

"Carlisle called and Bella is doing fine. He's on his way home." He said through the door finally.

"Thank you." Feelings of serenity began to spread through me…but, it wasn't how I truly felt.

"Jasper…don't. He needs to feel this on his own." Alice's sweet whisper was at the other side of my door. Then, Jasper's artificial relief slowly faded away and my own feelings took over. I stood waiting to feel what was honestly in my heart and when the truth of what had just occurred hit me full force, I was so overwhelmed with my own relief, I sagged down to the tile floor and sobbed as I had never sobbed before.

After my long shower, I dried off, dressed, picked up my bloodied clothing and headed downstairs to throw them in the washer. I fought the urge to bring the now dry stains to my nose one last time before closing the washer door and pouring the detergent into the dispenser. Once that was done, I sat alone on the couch in the living room in front of the blank TV screen.

_I wish Emmett were here_.

I needed to hunt. I needed to dilute the blood running through my veins, but… I didn't _want_ to. Bella's blood was the sweetest, most potent blood I had ever tasted. I leaned my head down on the back of the couch. The few minutes it took me to draw in her blood were filled with the most wonderful feelings of ecstasy, coupled with the nightmarish feeling that I would never be able to stop.

I had felt this way only once before, the last time I drank from her. After James had bit her, I took only a small amount of her precious blood before the venom was removed. His bite was a slash that didn't inject venom as Victoria's had. Even now the small amount I drank from her satisfied my hunger so thoroughly, it had me wondering how I survived all those lonely years without her.

Alice's footsteps were dancing lightly down the stairs. I looked up as she crossed the living room and came to a stop in front of me with her arms crossed and her golden eyes staring into mine. She wore a sly smile on her face, almost daring me to speak. With Jasper's help she was in a much better mood, almost giddy.

"I guess you really didn't take that much blood from her." I gave her a quizzical look. She raised her eyebrows at me. "The color is gone, your eyes are black." She flopped down on the couch next to me, curled her legs up and continued to stare at me. "You need to hunt anyway."

"I'm not leaving the house in case they bring her home. Besides, I'm not hungry." I laid my head down on the back of the couch once again. "Bella's blood is all the blood I need for now."

"Excuse me?" She hissed. My head shot up at her vicious tone. Her anger flared at me, her voice a deadly whisper between clenched teeth. "If that's all you want from her then you should have taken her right there as she sat helpless on the toilet, instead of having Carlisle pump her full of who knows what kinds of drugs just so you can drink from her later. I would have gladly given my life to that dog had I known that's all she is to you." Her words cut to the bone and it hurt that she would come to such a conclusion. But, I was just too wary to argue any point at that moment.

"Stop it Alice. That's not what I meant and you of all people should know that. I really thought you understood…." I muttered darkly under my breath.

"Stop being an ass and maybe I will understand." She was losing all patience with me now and I didn't know why. "You may not realize this but the world doesn't revolve on the decisions of Edward Cullen alone. Carlisle is the head of this family and his decisions take precedence over all others. Things happen in this family because Carlisle makes them happen, not you or anyone else…" She paused, "Well, with one exception." She hesitated again, "Bella will join our family Edward, whether.…you know what? It doesn't even matter!" She turned on the couch, crossing her arms and legs and sat looking at the same blank TV screen that I had been staring into. She was blocking her thoughts from me so well, I couldn't pick up anything from her. Right then, I wasn't sure I wanted to hear her thoughts or not. Laying my head back down, I tried to listen for Esme's approaching car outside. Alice began to speak again, but her tone was much softer.

"When you made the decision to leave Bella and went to Carlisle, did you know there was a moment he seriously thought of turning Bella himself because he knew then, you couldn't survive without her?"

"No, I didn't know that." It seemed there _were_ some very well kept secrets in the house.

"He only changed his mind because it was obvious that you needed to learn that hard lesson for yourself. Of course he had no idea what that would do to Bella and he regrets making that decision because of the pain we were all forced to endure through the whole ordeal." She turned back to me taking my hand in hers. Raising my head, I looked into her golden eyes. Although her thoughts were still shielded from me, a beautiful concerned look had taken over her face. "Afterwards, when Bella asked to join our family, the only vote that mattered was Carlisle's – don't you see?"

"Are you saying I have no control over my life or over Bella's future? Every decision I make has no bearing on what will happen if Carlisle doesn't agree?" How could that be possible? I understood how each person's decisions could have some affect on those around them, but how could the choices of one person direct the course of an entire family so completely? But then again, I would never have pursued a relationship with Bella if Carlisle had forbid it.

"No…I'm saying Carlisle's decisions allow you to control certain aspects, but even so…things have changed… and it may be in such a way that even Carlisle will have no control." She smiled.

_Could she possibly be anymore irritatingly cryptic right now?_

"You said that before. What, exactly, has changed?"

She looked down at my hand and it seemed she wanted to tell me something, an edited version of something since she was hiding it from me. She looked back up and her smile was even wider than before.

"Bella." She seemed very happy about whatever changes were taking place or… had already occurred. I stared in disbelief. I was speechless. I couldn't find the words to even ask if the changes were good or bad.

"What changes?" I whispered.

"You'll find out… in time." She looked down again hiding her eyes from mine. "Edward, her…" She smiled up at me, her eyes bright, "Her will is much stronger than you can imagine. From what I can see coming, your future hinges on a decision she has already made. And, I've noticed, once Bella makes up her mind to do something, it's as good as done." She was bursting to tell me something and if I just waited long enough she would break and spill it all out. We both had a hard time keeping secrets from each other, but I had always led her to believe that she did a better job of it than me.

"Bella's very lucky." She was trying hard to control herself, to keep from bubbling over and blurting out what she was so anxious to say. With a cynical smile on my face I laid my heavy head down. The thought of Bella being lucky was laughable at best. Since the day she walked into my life, it had been nothing but dumb-luck that had kept her alive.

"If I don't bite her soon I'm afraid her luck may not hold out much longer." I muttered.

"I'm not talking about that." She snapped. Her voice gave something away. The topic of when I would turn Bella, the topic that I usually avoided at all costs, was now something she was _refusing _to talk about also. Which only brought doubts crashing into my already worried mind. "Edward, I…" Her voice softened, "I'm talking about how lucky she will be once she is turned."

_Once she is turned, not once YOU turn her._

Reaching up, I ran my hand through my nearly dry hair fluffing and separating the tangled curls. I was confused, but not enough to encourage her to continue. I felt mentally fatigued. She was hiding more than I cared to worry about right then and I wished she would get on with whatever it was she was trying so hard not to say.

She lifted my arm and placed it around her shoulder leaning into my side. I pulled her in tighter, crushing her body against mine. She needed as much comforting as I did after the events of this morning.

"I wish I could show you everything I've seen." She wrapped her arm around my waist returning my hug. "You will be a wonderful lover, Edward." She whispered.

"Alice!" I blurted out trying not to laugh at my own embarrassment. Of all the things that had raced through my brain, that was the farthest from my mind. "Is that what you've seen? Do you see that a lot? Can you possibly imagine how embarrassing that is?"

"Oh Edward, don't be such a prude." She slapped at my chest, "You have no idea how many times I've seen members of this family making love! It's not like I want to! Besides, can you imagine how horrible my life would be if I had nothing but bad visions? Geez!" Now she had completely given in to a giggling fit. I playfully pushed her away.

"Edward you need to get over this aversion to talking about sex." Jasper was coming down the stairs, two at a time. "Man, Edward! Once Bella turns she'll be with you forever, even if you don't make it legal in the human sense of the word, for all intents and purposes, she will still be your wife." He sat on the couch and pulled Alice into his arms, smiled and kissed her so passionately I was forced to look away.

_Once Bella turns, not once YOU turn her. He said it also. What has Alice seen? Does it matter? Bella will be with me all the same._

"Yes, well, until I make her my wife there's not much use in talking about what I can't possible share with her right now, is there?"

"You share much more with her right now than I ever thought possible!" Alice had turned to lie against Jasper and was poking me with her dainty toes.

"No, I don't." I was becoming more anxious by the second. With the conversation turning once again to sex and Carlisle's absence, I was feeling the need to get out of the house and over to the hospital.

Alice poked me again.

"Edward! You kiss her… a lot! You practically make out for God's sakes!"

"It's just a kiss." Reminding me of how I really wanted to kiss her was not going to improve my mood or keep me there on the couch for much longer.

"She's just a human!" Jasper burst out. "I've never kissed a human and let them live to tell about it! I couldn't!"

"I believe this is a little different, I happen to be in love with this human."

"Well, don't think for a second that you don't share anything of yourself with her because you do. What do you do when you spend the night with her, huh? Sit in a chair in the corner watching her sleep?" I flashed a look at Alice who just stuck her tongue out at me.

"No, not anymore." I couldn't help but smile thinking of the many times I did nothing but sit in that rocking chair and watch her in silence.

"You lie with your teeth not even an inch from her neck for hours as she sleeps!" Alice was still poking me and I started swatting at her foot until her feet and my hand were only a blur. "You spoon up to her every night and what was that I walked in on last night, huh? Geez Edward, you get away with more now than you would if you were a human teenage boy!" I grabbed her ankle and started tickling the bottom of her foot until she was screaming for me to let her go. Jasper pulled her up and away from my grasp setting her on his lap.

"Well, actually darlin', according to ninety percent of the teenager boys at school, that's not true." Jasper leaned over and grabbed the TV remote.

"What do you mean?" Alice was so very lucky to not be present in the boy's locker room as they recounted their fictional sexual conquests in full nauseating detail.

"Lets just say that if teenage girls had any idea how teenage boys really saw them, there would be a lot less teenage boys in the world." He winked at her and turned on the TV.

Alice looked over at me with wide eyes. "Is that true?" She really was innocent in so many ways.

"Yes, unfortunately for teenage girls, teenage boys are just another form of monster. If they're lucky, they grow out of it." _If they're not, they turn into the monsters that tried to hurt Bella in Port Angeles not so long ago._

Just then, I heard Esme's car out on the road pulling into the drive. Rising from the couch, I went out onto the porch to wait. I tried to hear Carlisle's thoughts but he must have been listening to a talk radio station that was currently reporting on the stock market and I wasn't interested in how our stocks and bonds were doing at the moment. But, it was a good sign. I watched as the car appeared out of the trees. He parked and I walked down the steps to meet him. Alice came out and stepped up next to me.

"How is she?"

"Besides the fact that her vocal folds and larynx are swollen to the point where she won't be able to speak for several days, she's going to be fine." I searched his thoughts and found that he held no fear in her recovering completely. It seemed that she was even insisting on going home, but Carlisle managed to charm her into staying at least one night. Then, he sedated her pretty heavily to keep her still. If I knew Bella at all, she would not appreciate that when she woke up.

"Can we go see her?" Alice was bouncing up and down holding my hand.

"She's sedated right now, but you could pick up a writing tablet and some pens. I really don't want her trying to speak for a couple of days.

"Well, I think I can do better than that!" Alice ran inside the house.

"How's Charlie taking this?"

"Surprisingly well actually." Carlisle smiled as Alice bounded out of the house. "Alice, could you watch over Charlie a bit? Make sure he's taking care of himself."

"No problem! I'd be happy to."

"I think he's just getting used to her ability to attract danger." Carlisle laughed. I shook my head at the thought of a parent ever getting used to a child like that.

Carlisle briefly took my arm, "Edward, it will make it easier on him when she disappears to join our family." I could only nod in agreement. He looked into my eyes, examining the color. " You didn't hunt as I asked."  
"No, I'm fine, really, I'll hunt tonight, I promise."  
"That's a promise I will see you keep." Carlisle would be coming along on this hunt. "Go on, she's in room 207."

Alice and I climbed into my Volvo and sped off to the hospital. I parked in the space next to Bella's truck and we took the elevator up. I had already closed my mind off before I had entered the building so, I didn't know Charlie was still in Bella's room until I heard his voice from down the hall. With our arrival there were now four people crowded around Bella's bed in the small room.

Esme looked up and I could see she was trying to communicate with me so I opened up my mind and tried to focus only on her thoughts. It was so difficult with all the pain and suffering that filled the building.

She stood up and held her arms out to me which, I more than gladly walked into. As I hugged her I took in everything she needed to tell me.

_Charlie wants to question you and Alice about what you saw. I told him we just got back from Olympia this morning and you couldn't wait to see Bella so you and Alice went over to the school. I didn't know what happened after that so I left that to you._

She released me. "She's going to be fine." I just nodded and smiled then, looked over at Charlie. He held out his hand to me and I shook it once very quickly.

"Thanks Edward." He smiled. "You know you're going to have your hands full when you get married don't you?" He chuckled. I could only nod and smile. Leaning over Bella, I softly kissed her forehead. She didn't smell right with all the medicine Carlisle had pumping into her through the IV in her arm.

"Edward I need to know what you saw. Can you describe the girl?" Charlie was doing his job not only as a police officer, but also as her father.

"All I saw was her red hair."

"It was totally un-natural as if it were dyed that color." Alice added knowing better than to elaborate anything beyond what I had said. "I've never seen anyone in Forks with hair that color, bright flaming red. I know I would have noticed if it was a girl from our high school."

"Anything else? Her build, clothing, her face…"

"Oh Charlie! Her face was…" Alice didn't go on which, was my cue to elaborate.

"Her face was missing…it was torn to shreds Charlie. There was nothing left but bone. I didn't see what she was wearing. All I wanted to do was find Bella and get her out of there."

"That's so weird. There's hardly any blood anywhere in that restroom. They only found some in one of the stalls." I needed to hear what Charlie was thinking so I opened up my mind and focused on him.

_Maybe the girl was already dead…but there are no tracks leading up to the gym until a few feet before the door. Maybe the rain…_

"The only other thing I remember is that the girl's skin was so gray, as if she had been dead for a while." I offered to support what he had already surmised.

"Well, that would explain the lack of blood at the scene." His mind accepted it. "Tell me what happened from the beginning."

"We just got back this morning and I couldn't wait to see her." I didn't dare take me eyes from Bella's angelic face. Alice and I should have discussed this before hand instead of making it up as we went. I calmed my voice and added a touch of that persuasive quality I needed to make him believe every word as the truth.

"Alice and I were walking toward the gym when we saw Bella just step into the restroom. Then we heard her scream and the growling and we just ran." We hadn't had the time to fabricate or clear evidence so I had to think fast. "I went in first and the wolf bolted for the open door with the girl's body in its mouth. I yelled to Alice to watch out and she moved aside allowing the wolf to run out past her and out of the hall. Then we started searching the stalls for Bella and she was so petrified she wouldn't even leave the toilet to unlock the door so we pulled it off." That was the best I could do under the circumstances. Then, Alice took over following my lead, adding her own hypnotic quality to her words.

"I was so scared Charlie! I was so afraid she was dying in there! We yanked the door as hard as we could – I thought we'd just break the lock, but the whole door came off and flew across the room!" Charlie's eyes had slightly glazed over as he listened to Alice's voice.

"I was wondering how that happened." He stammered as he tried to regain his senses. "One of the officers at the scene called and told me about that." In Charlie's mind our explanation was totally logically and he had no suspicions that anything other than what we said had taken place.

"Charlie are you doing okay?" Alice touched his arm.

"Yeah, I'm fine…now" He smiled. "Hey! It's Bella! Just a normal day in her life." He laughed softly.

"Well, I've got to run out to the store, why don't you come along and we'll get some lunch?" Alice smiled and Charlie didn't stand a chance. He turned toward the door and walked as if in a trance. Alice winked at me and turned to follow him when he stopped in the doorway.

"Edward, are you staying with her?" He looked over at Bella, his eyes full of love for his daughter. "I just don't want her to be alone when she wakes up."

"Absolutely, Charlie." He took the few steps back to Bella's bed, wrapped his hand around hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Thanks Edward. Thanks so much." I smiled.

"I'm sorry I couldn't have been there sooner." I couldn't help the completely possessive and utterly selfish thought that invaded my mind as I stared at her hand in his.

_I didn't save her for you._

14


	9. Chapter 9 Everything's Never The Same

Chapter Nine

Everything's Never The Same

"Esme, I'm sorry about the front door." I knew she was the one who had cleaned up the shattered glass from the entryway when Alice and I had left in a panic to rescue Bella.

"Don't worry about, it was only glass. It can easily be replaced, it's not important." She smiled and took my hands. "Edward, she'll be fine." She held me with her eyes. Her speech became rapid. "The danger's over. There is no need to rush into anything, but we're ready if you still feel the need to change her right away."

I needed time to think about my next step. Alice said things have changed. Would any decision I make today take us toward her vision or away from it? Esme continued to look into my eyes with understanding as if she were seeing the confusion written on my face.

"I can understand how unbelievably tempting it must be for you to taste her again. I know it was your original plan to turn her as soon as possible, but… you need to be completely in control of your hunger and attempt to turn her only when your need for her companionship is greater than your thirst for her blood." There was worry buried deep in her voice and in her eyes.

I sighed, "Esme, I know Alice has seen something and everyone is doing their best to hide it from me. I can't change what may happen if I don't know what to watch for." If anyone would tell me it would be Esme. If it were in her power, she would protect us in any way possible.

"Edward the future is not set in stone, you of all people know that. Your relationship with Bella has changed so many things that were very likely supposed to have happened and never did." She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, pulling me down to her and hugged me. "The only thing I can tell you is that when the time comes to turn her, yours will be the only bite she receives."

After Esme left, I sat for hours in the chair next to Bella's bed. I thought long and hard about why I had saved her again and not made the choice to bite her to complete what had already started. Jacob Black's threats didn't frighten me so, what was it that I was waiting for?

I couldn't accept the fact that another vampire's venom would be mingled with mine in her pure blood. She belonged to me. I saved her for my own selfish reasons, not for Charlie's benefit, not for Charlie's sake. He would lose her soon enough. But, what about Bella? Did I even take into consideration what Bella wanted? No. I did it for me, for my own sake. And for that, I was ashamed.

Lost inside my own thoughts for what seemed like an eternity, I couldn't risk opening my mind with no one in the room to focus on so I blocked out everything. When Bella woke, I would gladly focus all my energy into listening to her wonderful thoughts. Watching her sleep, I wished I could crawl into the bed next to her and hold her soft warm body against mine. How long had it been since I hadn't lay with her while she slept? I had missed only one night since returning to Forks from my self-imposed Hell on earth, the night Charlie removed her bedroom door.

I yearned to hold her in my arms and feel the slow rhythmic movements of her chest rising and falling as she breathed, feel the natural flow of blood that pulsed hot and thick through her veins, see the flutter of her eyelids as she dreamed. The sedative had caused her to stay in an unnatural sleep so, she wasn't dreaming and I was left without even the benefit of hearing her speak my name, not that she could in her present state anyway, but her lips didn't even move.

A nurse had come in to check on her from time to time and had removed an IV bag when it had emptied and replaced it. Bella hadn't stirred at all due to the sedative running through her. Her beautiful neck had turned purple, blue and green but the bandage that was placed over the scratches covered a good portion of her skin making it very difficult to see it for what it really was, a perfectly shaped hand print.

Her glorious angelic face was so pale, so pure. I knew she needed her rest but I longed to touch her, to feel the warm silkiness of her skin against mine, even if it were only her hand. The desire to hear her voice in my head was almost overwhelming. But, her thoughts weren't only in my head, I felt them in my body. Her thoughts had flowed so sweetly, so effortlessly and smoothly into me, intertwining with my own as if they were part of my very DNA.

Angela's statement could never have been truer, Bella and I were meant for each other. Everything about her drew me to her as she was drawn to me. If Bella's mind had been open to me that first day she set foot at Forks High School, I would have fallen in love with her the moment I heard her thoughts. No matter how random they may have been, they would have called out to me like a siren song and been just as irresistible as her blood. I would never had left her knowing her innermost feelings, her unending love, her fearlessness and her capacity for forgiveness. So much heartache and pain would have been avoided if I had only believed how much she truly cared for me.

I was certain I was doing the right thing when I made the decision to leave her. At that time, I not only feared for her safety, I was filled with doubt that she could ever feel anything near what I felt for her. She was just a human girl. I was sure she would out grow me. I had believed absolutely that she would forget me and go on with her life, never dreaming her love could be so deep, so unwavering, so completely… forgiving.

In all the loving thoughts that had cascaded into my mind from Bella's during the short ride in Carlisle's car, I could not remember one of regret, of sadness, or of fear for her life as she lay helpless in my arms. She trusted me to the fullest. I had never given her that kind of trust. Yes, I had trusted her with my family's secret. I fully believed no matter what happened after I had left her in Forks, that she would take our secret to her normal human grave. And now, I found I was in serious need of making it all up to her.

Standing, I walked over to the window quietly pulling the blinds open to take in the pink and orange hues of the twilight sky. Suddenly, I felt an awareness sweeping into me. Then a single thought flowed like water into my mind.

_Edward, my Edward._

Before I had even realized I had done it, I had moved at vampire speed and was standing next to her bed.

_How did her thought break through when no others can?_ I was confused but… it was just one more unique reason we were meant to be together.

"Yes?" I couldn't help the wonderful feelings that spread through me just from finally having the privilege of hearing her guarded thoughts in my head.

She opened her mouth to speak but made a grimace and gingerly touched her throat. Thoughts of pain spiked into me for just a second. I wanted to do something, anything to relieve her misery but I felt so helpless.

_It's nothing._ She smiled._ Why so sad?_ She held out her hand to me. I had waited all day just to touch her again and when I took her hand in mine, the warmth of it seemed to travel rapidly up my arm and spread throughout my body. Bringing her hand to my lips, I kissed it softly as I thought of an answer to her question. I wasn't sad…I was…

_Come on…_I_ can't read minds…remember?_ I looked up from her hand and saw her attempting to be flirtatious. But just knowing she was in pain kept a smile from creeping onto my lips.

"It may take quite awhile before you can speak normally again." It made me feel a little guilty because even though she was in pain, I was thoroughly enjoying the melodic voice of her thoughts.

_I'll be fine. Just a normal day for me._

Well, it hadn't been a normal day for me. She had scared me out of my wits in her truck.

"Bella…" She threw the palm of her hand up in my face.

_It sounds like you're about to start that _'it's too dangerous to be around me' _speech and I'm not going for it so just knock it off!_

Even though I could hear the anger she was trying to convey, it was a deep dark melody playing across my mind, lighting a flicker of impatience in my own brain.

"That is not what I was going to say." I hissed at her unintentionally, but she didn't even flinch. She pointed her finger at me, stabbing it in my direction.

_GOOD! Because you promised you would NEVER leave me again and no matter what you say you're stuck with me …forever!_

It took all my control not to burst out laughing at her. I was stuck with her! As if I would ever separate myself from her again! It would destroy me to be without her! If anything, she was stuck with me! I would never leave her… even if she wanted me to.

_Bella, I will always be wherever you are_.

How I wished she would believe me after all I've put her through.

Taking her hands in mine, I leaned over to kiss her then, stopped an inch from her sumptuous lips. She was anticipating my kiss, waiting for it, wanting it. I could feel her heart racing through her warm palms as they became moist. Her breathing had all but stopped for the few seconds I hovered above her looking into her deep brown eyes.

"I was going to tell you that you frightened me." Her eyes grew wide at my confession, "I felt absolutely helpless in the truck and I can't remember ever feeling that way before." She suddenly remembered how to breathe and pulled in my breath just as I had sighed.

_Will he still smell this absolutely wonderful after he's changed me?_ Her thought was a sigh of pleasure that made my skin tingle. Knowing that her sense of smell will be heightened, all I could hope for is that she still found my scent as appealing as she found it now.

"Probably." Was the only answer I could give her. As Bella began to apologize unnecessarily for her behavior in the truck, I was distracted by Alice's voice coming down the hall.

"Do you think she'll like it, Charlie?"

Then Charlie's voice drifted to me. "I'm not really sure Alice. You know how she is with gifts, especially expensive ones. I mean, a pen and paper would have been fine, I'm sure. You didn't need to go to all that trouble."

"It was no trouble at all! Besides, once she gets used to it, she'll be hooked and won't want to give it back." I could picture Alice's enchanting little smile in my head.

_He's thirsty._ Bella's thought brought me back to her eyes.

Yes, I was thirsty but in control… just barely.

"Charlie and Alice are back." I smiled wondering what it was that Alice had brought for Bella. "Alice has a present for you." She frowned just a little at the word 'present'. I'd waited hours to touch her, to kiss her and within seconds we would have company. I needed to do it soon. "I'm going to kiss you now and I need you to please, please behave. It's all I can do right now to control my own actionsafter this morning." I leaned in a little closer and slightly tightened my grip on her delicate hands. My lips touched hers very gently for a second then pressed against her until I could feel her blood pumping in rhythm with her rapid heartbeat. Even though her scent was obscured by the smell of medication, I didn't dare breathe her in. I pulled back from her when I knew Alice and Charlie were a step away from the door and Bella's face had become the most luscious shade of pink.

The sheer frustration of Bella's next thoughts flowed into me so forcefully it left me wondering if she had always felt the duration of my kisses were much too short. I couldn't help but smile. She honestly felt I teased her on purpose to always leave her wanting more, to keep her just at the edge of anticipation at all times. I needed to find some other way to give her more, to share more of myself with her in a way that wouldn't jeopardize her safety or my control. At least, until I turned her.

Just then Alice and Charlie came into the room and Alice danced up to Bella's bed, leaned in and kissed her cheek. I opened my mind as she came to stand next to me and watched as Charlie leaned over and hugged his daughter. He looked extremely awkward, as if he had never hugged her before. Alice caught me eye and smiled.

_I bought her the Dell Latitude ATG D620 laptop. You know, the one you had picked out for her birthday. The internet is all hooked up and ready to go. Oh!_ _Carlisle and Esme are on their way up. Esme will stay with Bella tonight while we go hunting_.

I gave Alice a smile and slight nod of my head.

"How ya feeling, Bells?" Charlie was very concerned with Bella's well being, but his thoughts were a tangle of questions he wanted to ask her. He was still trying to decide if she was mentally stable enough to answer. He wanted to bring in a trauma counselor to talk with her about what happened and even though it was common practice with people who had been through such an incident, he was afraid she would freak out like she did when he had suggested it before. I assumed he had suggested it during my absence and knowing Bella, I could only imagine what her reaction was to that.

Bella gave her father the 'OK' sign and smiled.

"Alice brought something for you so we won't have to learn sign language." He chuckled.

Alice produced the laptop from behind her back and placed it on the little rolling table, flipped it open and pushed it towards Bella. Her face lit up in that beautiful smile I adored and she typed, "Thanks! This is great!" I was glad to see she accepted it so easily without a fight. And, I was surprised that she was truly happy to get it.

_Will I be as fortunate when I present her an engagement ring?_ I wondered for a second.

I heard Carlisle's thoughts as he approached Bella's room and the,n he stepped inside, saw Charlie was there and asked him to step into the hall with him.

_What's up?_ Bella's thought overpowered all other thoughts as if it were my own. I couldn't help but look at her, allow her to pull me in. Alice knew the signs all too well of information being passed to me through thought.

"Oh, this is so not fair!" Alice said quietly laughing. "Carrying on private conversations in front of others is just so rude!" Both Bella and I smiled at her. I shifted my gaze back to Bella.

"He's just filling your father in on your condition."

Bella smiled at Alice and typed her question for Alice's benefit. "What _is_ my condition?" Alice leaned over the bed looking at the laptop screen as she read Bella's question.

"You'll be fine. There's no permanent damage," Then she leaned in to whisper, "Nothing that won't be reversed after you're… you know." Alice filled in the last word in her thoughts, _married._

Bella's face flushed that pretty pink again and a squeaky little noise came from her throat. Alice looked at me and winked. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at them both.

But I had caught Alice's comment... _reversed after you're married _…hmmm. _What has she seen to make her think that Bella will still be human on our wedding day?_

Carlisle had finished his conversation with Charlie and they both returned to the room. Carlisle explained some of the treatment that Bella was currently under and informed her that unfortunately, she wouldn't be attending the graduation ceremony tomorrow. He bid good night to everyone as he walked towards the door.

_Ten more minutes Edward. She needs her rest. I'll be waiting._

He had already walked out of the room so, I couldn't protest with even a look.

Bella didn't seem to be upset by the any of the information until she remembered her mother would be flying in the next day for the occasion of her graduation. However, before she could begin to fret about Renée's arrival, Alice announced she was leaving also.

"Charlie why don't you go on home and get some rest?" Alice took Charlie's hand and gave it a little squeeze as she dazzled him with her pixie smile. It amazed me that Alice knew just how to get what she wanted so easily from Charlie. His eyes glazed over ever so slightly as his cheeks took on a small amount of pink color. He looked over at me not really seeing me at all and then his eyes slid slowly over to his daughter.

"Uh, Bells, do you want me to stay?" Bella was smiling and I could hear her thinking the same thing about Alice as I had. Her fingers typed quickly on the keyboard and she turned the screen so Charlie could read. His eyes instantly came back into focus as he remembered Renée would be flying in at 8:15 in the morning up in Port Angeles. He had completely forgotten to call her that morning and knew she would be upset. Even though he chuckled outwardly, his thoughts became even more frantic and jumbled as he thought of his ex-wife. He still held love in his heart for her and just seeing her again would be extremely difficult, even under the best circumstances. But now, instead of a nice friendly reunion during a happy occasion, he was afraid her reaction to Bella's being in the hospital once again would set Renée off even worse than when she had come to take Bella away from Forks to live in Florida.

_When did that happen?_ I wondered. _Bella never told me her mom flew here to take her away._

Just then, Esme's thoughts came through loud and clear as she walked gracefully through the door.

_Edward, it's time to go._

She walked straight to Bella and with her hand, brushed a strand of hair from Bella's face in a most motherly way. I could hear her calm and loving thoughts. To her, Bella was as good as her daughter already. She loved her unconditionally as she loved all her 'children'. Whatever Alice had seen, I was certain that Esme would do what was necessary to protect Bella, even if it meant protecting her from me. And for that reason and countless others, I refused to disappoint her.

"Carlisle says you're doing well." She smiled as she spoke. Bella typed an answer and turned the laptop screen to show Esme. I didn't need to read her reply as I heard it in my head.

_I'm feeling fine, just tired._ But… she was lying. She wasn't tired at all…never felt more rested. With the amount of blood that had been taken from her by three different vampires, she should have felt exhausted. It seemed very curious to me. Without the sedative, I didn't believe she would have slept at all.

"Well, why don't I stay here with you tonight and let everyone else get some rest?" Esme looked over at Charlie and I watched as the pink color invaded his cheeks once more and a thought of how Carlisle was a very lucky man passed through the forefront of his mind. He commented that if she didn't mind, that would be great.

All the while Esme was conveying a message to me that Carlisle would be taking Alice, Jasper and I hunting and also, to avoid raising suspicions with the hospital staff or Charlie, not to return to Bella's room until morning. I sighed in agreement, though being away from Bella was the last thing I wanted to do.

Esme had taken the chair next to Bella's bed. "I'll be seeing you both in the morning." She said as Alice came over and kissed her cheek, then she took my hand as I kissed the top of her head.

_What a wonderful family to belong to.' _I couldn't agree with Bella's thought more.

Bella's happiness floated into me, dragging me out of my low mood at leaving her and increased my own feelings of contentment. I couldn't leave without kissing her just once more. Charlie stopped at the door and turned as if he were waiting for me to follow. I took both of Bella's warm hands in mine and gently kissed her perfect lips.

_So he does kiss her! I guess I don't need to wonder about that anymore. Getting married! It's hard to believe. Renée's gonna freak but they couldn't be a better match._

I pulled back from Bella and could see she was smiling and looking over at the door. I heard Charlie's footsteps as he turned and left the room. Bella's eyes came back to gaze into mine.

_He saw that._ Her thought was a joyful spark in my brain.

"He's happy for us." I whispered with a smile.

_Thank you!_

I released her hands closing off my mind as I went out the door. Carlisle was at the nurse's station giving last minute instructions as to Bella's care through the night when I walked up. I waited and watched the various reactions of the nurses and people who passed us by. I didn't need to open my mind to their thoughts – I could read it on their faces. The sudden rapid beating of their hearts as they looked at my father figure and occasionally at me, the blush that rose in their cheeks, their lips slightly parted, the shallow breathing, their eyes somewhat glazed, but also hungry. As if Carlisle and I were the prey and they were a pack of hungry females ready to pounce. I shook my head at that thought.

_I need to get out of here!_

"I'll wait in the car." I said as I walked past him toward the elevator.

"I'll be right down."

I walked down the hall and found that I had stopped breathing automatically as the smells of so many human females had become too much. I inhaled and all I could smell was the sickening sweet odor of the dying. It seemed to coat every surface as well as hang thick in the air.

_How can Carlisle stand it?_

I took the elevator down to the parking garage. Alice and Jasper were waiting at my car.

"Where's Carlisle?" Jasper asked.

"He'll be down in a moment, _IF_ he can manage to get away from the pack of ogling human females." I shook my head.

"You noticed that too, huh?" Alice smiled.

"It's disgusting! You'd think they might try to show a bit more restraint. He's a married man for God sakes!" It seemed strange that I would even notice such things after almost 100 years with Carlisle and I didn't remember ever feeling that way before. Of course humans noticed us, were drawn to us to a certain degree, they couldn't help it. It was part of what we were, but now with a love of my own, it hit me as completely inappropriate behavior, whether humans could help it or not.

"Well, it's not like the old days, is it Edward?" Jasper laughed.

Just then the elevator door opened and even in the parking garage where every sound was magnified, Carlisle's footsteps were totally silent, even to my vampire ears.

With my mind closed off to all intruding thoughts, if I were not looking directly at him, it would have been as if no one was there. Not even the sound of breathing came from his direction. Then the sound of his hands clapping together echoed through the garage and then his words.

"Jump in, let's go!"

I opened my mind to my family's thoughts as I sat down behind the wheel of my Volvo and found Alice was attempting to block me out again. Three words slipped into my brain before she closed herself off from me, twilight, and new moon. I smiled knowing I had caught something important.

"So Alice…what's happening at twilight or new moon?" I looked back at her as I backed the car out the parking space and pulled out onto Bogachiel Way heading north. I looked into my rearview mirror and saw her close her eyes and take a deep breath.

"Edward… you really don't want to see all that's coming do you?" She smiled. "It's not so bad to have a little mystery in your life sometimes, you know?" Her eyes twinkled at me. "Besides, everything's never the same, things change when you and Bella are involved."

Now I was even more curious than before… and more worried. "Alice is Bella still in danger?" I could see her face in the mirror. Carlisle looked back at Alice and her eyes flickered in his direction before coming back to look at my reflection.

"The only danger Bella is in is if she faints as she's walking down the aisle." A huge grin spread across her face and I looked over at Carlisle who wore the same smile. I wasn't sure if I believed her entirely. But, as she had told me many times that morning, things have changed.

"If Bella still has the capacity to faint…" I looked into the mirror once again, catching Alice's eyes looking back at me. "She will still be human on our wedding day." Alice smiled and nodded. "So… we will be getting married at twilight on the night of a new moon."

"Yes. I'm not sure which month I saw, but I believe it's the next new moon, which will be in 16 days. I'll know for sure after tomorrow. Now stop asking me questions, I've already told you too much!" She playfully swatted at the back of my head, missing as I ducked out of the way.

All I could do was smile and trust in Alice.

I took 101 north toward the forest and soon we were out of Forks. Carlisle hadn't said a word since we started our trip, but his mind was still working. Finally he spoke.

"Edward, I didn't come along tonight just to make sure that you have fed but to teach you the technique you'll need to use when you bite Bella. You know I didn't have a clue of how to turn someone when I met you so, you suffered much more than you would if I were to turn you today. The bites I inflicted on Esme were not much different, but I did control the flow of venom much better. When Rosalie came along, I was much more practiced and Emmett received the full benefit of my experience."

I heaved a huge sigh. I knew it was something I would need to learn if I were to keep from killing her by accident. I nodded my head. "I'm ready."

When we had reached Burnt Mountain Road, I turned left, went a few miles and pulled the car to the side hiding it in the trees. Alice and Jasper went off in one direction, while Carlisle and I had run about three miles into the forest before spotting a few deer. We stood motionless upwind from them. Carlisle began to give instructions through his thoughts.

_Every time you hunt from now on, you will practice. If you were to inject your usual quantity of venom into Bella's bloodstream, she may not survive. It may seem cruel at first because the bite you inflict will not paralyze or kill instantly. The deer will struggle, but it's better to practice on deer than not at all._

I nodded my understanding.

_You are very thirsty now so, this first one will be the most difficult to control. When you bite Bella, even though you won't be thirsty, her blood will be almost impossible to resist just the same. You know the feeling when your venom is triggered? That first outpouring that almost shoots into the bite wound? And, how each trigger becomes less and less?_

I nodded at each question as I watched the deer.

_You must not force that first flow of venom into the wound as you normally do, you draw it in with the first pull of blood and before your second draw of blood, you force your venom gently and evenly into the wound. You may still feel an enormous amount of venom on the second draw so you must work to maintain an even flow. With Bella, one bite will be sufficient, one to her jugular. In your case, multiple bites would not be advisable. It may only cause you to lose your control. So, one bite is all you will practice._

I nodded once more and we took off at a run.

We met up with Alice and Jasper at my car around midnight and drove home. We all went silently to our own rooms after entering the house. I definitely needed time alone to mull over what had happened in the forest. Around one o'clock I heard Carlisle's voice drifting up the stairs, "I'm off to check in on Bella and Esme, I'll be back soon."

I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower, stripped off my clothes and stepped into the hot water to wash the smell of deer from my skin. Standing there under the downpour, I relished the feeling of warmth all over my cold body. As I stood there, I thought back to the first deer I caught and the utter failure at my attempts to control my actions and my venom. I was much too thirsty – a state I could never allow myself to be in again, at least, until after I turned Bella. I had even growled and snapped at Carlisle as he coached me through the process of trying to regain my control before I drained the deer of it's blood. Apologizing profusely for my behavior afterward, his only comment was, this is why I need to practice.

The three deer I caught after the first were much easier. I hadn't mastered the technique yet, but with practice, I was sure it would become second nature to me. I would hunt every day and night if needed so my thirst wouldn't be a cause of concern on our wedding night.

Stepping from the shower, I dried off. Wrapping the towel around my waist, I grabbed the stereo remote and pressed play. The sounds of a piano filled my room as I stretched out on the couch and closed my eyes.

Within only a few chords the smooth voice of a tenor came to life. The lyrics were in Italian and extremely poetic, telling the tale of two lovers, one whispering secrets to the other as the dew covered the grass in the silence of the night. He described a time when she helped him and how she was like the wind that blew the clouds from a stormy sky to become clear. She was like an endless dream that doesn't end at dawn and how like a flower she was, that is re-born each day, strong enough to resist anything that may come.

The song could have been written for my love, my Bella. But, lately, I had been thinking that same thing about so many songs. I lay there staring out at the night sky from my windows, trying not to count the minutes as they dragged past, waiting to see the first faint colors of dawn.

16


	10. Chapter 10 These Small Hours

**_First...I don't own any of these characters...they belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer. Second...and most important to me...many wonderful thanks to the crazy and hilarious Ms. Chi Cullen, she of the many different personas, who graced me with her wonderful contribution to this chapter appearing as 'angelwebs'. My Carlisle! You so rock! Your sister in the cause..._**

**_Thanks so much to all who reviewed my last 9 chapters. I wrote this chapter 3 times before I settled back and started over for the last and final time. I hope you have enjoyed Edward's inner struggles as much as I fretted over them and continue to fret over them._**

_I stepped from the shower and dried off. Wrapping the towel around my waist, I grabbed the stereo remote and pressed play. The sounds of a piano filled my room as I stretched out on the couch and closed my eyes. _

_Within only a few chords the smooth voice of a tenor came to life. The lyrics were in Italian and extremely poetic, telling the tale of two lovers, one whispering secrets to the other as the dew covered the grass in the silence of the night. He described a time when she helped him and how she was like the wind that blew the clouds from a stormy sky to become clear. She was like an endless dream that doesn't end at dawn and how like a flower she was that is re-born each day, strong enough to resist anything that may come. _

_The song could have been written for my love, my Bella. But lately I had been thinking that same thing about so many songs. I lay there staring out at the night sky from my windows, trying not to count the minutes as they dragged past, waiting to see the first faint colors of dawn. _

Chapter Ten

These Small Hours

At two-thirty I heard Carlisle's car coming up the drive. After I heard his car door open, then close, the front door open and click shut, then there was nothing but the sound of his thoughts in my head. He was outside of my door in seconds.

"Come in." I sat up on the couch as he came through my door.

He smiled and sat down. His thoughts were calm as he relayed Bella's improving condition to me then his face broke into a smile.

_Well, you should be happy to know they had a talk!_

I didn't understand. "Who had a talk?"

"Esme and Bella!" He said, as his smile grew wider.

"They talked? About what?" Then realization began to come to me as humor twinkled in Carlisle's eyes, "You mean… Esme talked to her about sex…vampire sex?" I was somewhat relieved that it was Esme and not Alice or Rosalie or, heaven forbid, Emmett who was more than willing to fill her in with full descriptive details of vampire anatomy. At least Esme would be tactful and discreet, I hoped.

"Yes, among other things." Carlisle looked out the window with the huge grin still on his face. "The mother – daughter talk." His eyes full of humor flashed back at me. "Bella brought it up, asked Esme about it. She wanted to know. Esme thought it was wonderful!" Carlisle was laughing now. "You can't blame her for being curious!"

"No… I'm not blaming her… Of course she's curious, I just… well… You know, I was hoping to explore all that with Bella myself and not have it all… laid out on the bed, as it were, before our wedding night. Now it's just as if Esme gave away our secrets."

"Gave away our secrets! Ha! You're one to talk Edward!" Carlisle shook his head and continued to grin. He relaxed back into the couch. "Bella seems to be very excited about the prospect of sharing herself with you. I believe she is very much looking forward to a long honeymoon."

"Honeymoon?" I scoffed. A honeymoon that would start in the fires of Hell. I doubted very highly that was what she was looking forward to.

"Edward… you must understand," Carlisle heard the acid in my voice. His good mood was subdued for the moment. "Bella loves you and is more than willing to endure three days of pain to spend an eternity with you."

"That's because she doesn't really know."

"Edward, she has had more information and more time to prepare for this change than any of us ever had. She has felt venom burning in her blood twice now and still her love for you and her decision to take this last step has never faltered. I would rather her ask questions and be informed than run terrified and screaming on her wedding night."

I laid my head down on the back of the couch and heaved an enormous sigh. I was suddenly unsure that I could bear the torture of watching Bella go through three days of Hell.

"I'm sorry Carlisle. Of the two of us, Bella is definitely the more courageous and selfless." Now was the time to admit my fears. Carlisle, my father in almost every way would be the one person who would truly understand. "Carlisle… I'm afraid." He sat quietly waiting for me to go on. "I had promised never to hurt her again and when I bite her I will cause her more pain than she can ever imagine. How will I ever bear watching her suffer? How could she become aware and still love me after… ?"

"Edward," He interrupted with his kind voice, "When I was starting out as a doctor, the first time I had to help a woman deliver a child I was amazed at the suffering she went through for twelve hours before the baby came. Women always gave birth at home during that time with little or no help from a doctor but this baby was breach and the woman knew something was not right as her time came closer. She had four other children that ran around the house playing as their mother lay in bed enduring an enormous amount of pain. I offered again and again to give her something to ease her suffering and she never gave in, she refused my offer each time. And when I couldn't stand to see her in pain any longer, she took hold of my hand and told me if coming into this world were too easy, it wouldn't be worth it. I seriously wondered why any woman would ever carry more than one child after suffering so much."

After the child was born and lay in it's mothers arms she looked at me and said, 'this is what makes it all worth the pain'. The pain in bringing forth that life was already a fading memory. The love she felt wiped it away." Carlisle looked out the window and sighed. "I remember watching and suffering right along with you as you went through the change and the whole time wondering if I had done the right thing." He looked back at me, his light golden eyes very serious, "I have never for one second regretted my decision to change you or anyone else in this family."

I understood the metaphor; the parallel of bringing someone to life through suffering and even though I would actually take Bella's human life from her to have her with me forever, it eased my fears somehow. "I understand and thank you."

We sat in silence for a moment just looking out at the cloudless night sky seeing the stars we seldom were able to see in this perpetually overcast town. Carlisle was caught up in the memory of when he had turned Esme and how he had to explain what he had done to her after the fact. As Carlisle's thoughts drifted back to the present, I could hear parts of the conversation he had with Esme before leaving the hospital. Finally he broke the silence and spoke.

"Esme told me she explained the process of sharing energy in some detail including what to expect directly after the change is completed. Bella understands that sharing herself with you will not be the first thing that takes place after she becomes aware."

"Though it will probably be the first thing I want to do." I mumbled as I let a smile come to my lips.

_I have no doubt it will be_. Carlisle only nodded his head and smiled.

He stayed and talked with me for a while before leaving to his room to change into fresh clothing for a new day. I went back to counting the minutes until I could see Bella again, touch her, kiss her again. And just when I thought I could stand our separation no longer, my cell phone rang. I flipped it open and saw the name before bringing it to my ear.

_Esme._

It had been 3 hours since sunrise, since I first received the phone call from Esme.

Jacob had been here. He had touched my love, my Bella. He'd put his hands on her, pressed his foul dogs mouth against her innocent lips. Never before had I felt the desire to kill a human for nothing more than revenge. It was a blinding sort of rage that boiled inside me. But that was exactly what I wanted to do.

Now I sat in the chair next to Bella's hospital bed looking into her deep brown eyes holding her delicate hand in mine, feeling the warmth of her touch, the beat of her heart.

She had cried for almost 45 minutes earlier in the morning. If I could, I would have cried right along with her. But not one of those tears was shed because of Jacob and what he'd done to her. Those tears, Jacob's tears had been shed in Esme's presence, as she lay comforted in Esme's motherly embrace.

When I had arrived I stood in the hall outside of Bella's room listening to Esme's voice as she recounted Jacob's visit. I also heard the lethal anger in her thoughts. Her anger only fueled my own. She had been ready to kill him. She had already determined what needed to be done after she took his life. If he had made one more move towards Bella – even a word and she would have attacked. I had no doubt that she could have killed him. When it came to protecting a loved one, Esme might very well be the most dangerous and deadliest of us all.

Jacob had come to Bella's room around four in the morning and confessed his love for her and when she refused his marriage proposal, he became angry and threatening. Then I heard the entire conversation straight from Bella's own agonizing thoughts. He had frightened her with his promise to destroy my family if we broke the treaty by turning Bella. The fury that seethed within me lit a flame that woke the bloodthirsty monster I truly am. I wanted nothing more but to find Jacob Black, spill his blood and tear him to shreds. Damn the treaty.

But Bella needed me… and I needed her.

So willingly, silently I surrendered my feelings of anger and immersed myself in Bella's love. I laid next to her on the small bed and felt the outpouring of her heart and soul as her hauntingly melodic thoughts filled every cell of my body.

As she lay silently crying, she opened a floodgate of ghostly memories that ripped at the empty core of my being. Every tear she shed belonged to me, every tear was caused by what I had done to her in the past. Her tortured thoughts played into me like a symphony, each memory playing its own part of the melody or harmony with such terrible beauty and passion that it took my breath away. I had only a bare notion how much she had suffered when I had left her to live out her human life. We had only talked of it once and never again almost as if by mutual agreement.

As I laid with her in my arms, she exposed every horrible feeling she had felt during my absence. The sadness, loneliness, the utter despair of living minute by minute unable to feel any small measure of joy. Everything she felt was a mirror image of the agony I suffered without her in my life.

How she had been on the verge of giving in to Jacob's attentions right before finding that Alice had returned to Forks. How hard she had tried to squash any hope of ever seeing me again and then how desperately she fought to save me from myself in Volterra. She had never expected to live through the ordeal with the Volturri. She had been more than willing to die for me, to save me from destruction because she couldn't stand the thought that I should end my existence because of her.

And when we returned to Forks she was completely convinced that I didn't want her anymore but allowed herself to feel content just knowing that I would exist somewhere in the world.

But there was a darkness inside of her, a deep dark void that had yet to be healed. It was in this place that all of her darkest memories hid away in the absence of light. They poured over me, into me, crushed me thoroughly. Threatened to pull me in and consume me.

I apologized, profusely. If I were to apologize a million times a day, for the rest of our lives together, it would never be enough. I had hurt her beyond belief. Torn her and everyone I loved into pieces because I was afraid and stupid and so unbelievably blind. I couldn't bear to look her in the eye. I was so ashamed of my lack of trust and faith in her ability to love me as deeply as I loved her.

And still she forgave me. Completely.

Forgave me in the most wonderful way imaginable.

Her thoughts… her vows… her promise to be mine forever played through my head, my body, and my heart a thousand times like the most beautiful love song ever written.

"_You are my life Edward Cullen. I would rather die than be without you again. From this moment on all that I am and all that I am to become I give to you with a love that shall never die. I promise yours will be the only name I cry out in the night and yours will be the only eyes I look into at dawn. This and everything that is mine to give, I give to you freely for I have become yours forever."_

And as if that were not enough, she gave me the greatest gift I could ever ask for… she pledged to marry me. She truly was my angel.

The elation, the overwhelming joy! I was happy beyond my wildest dreams! I had waited patiently for her answer and was rewarded in the most beautiful way possible. I never imagined I could feel any more excited than I did after overhearing it at the clothing store in Port Angeles, but I was.

My happiness was over-shadowed only by the knowledge that there was no turning back now. Even though I had already made the decision to change her, her willingness to become my wife brought forth the fact that I had made her a promise, she upheld her part of the bargain and now I had no choice but to uphold mine. There could be no excuses, no backing down.

Fifteen days until the night of the next new moon, according to Alice, the night we would be married. The night I would change Bella's existence forever. If I refused now, if I backed out from my own fear, I knew my family would step in and Carlisle would not hesitate to turn her. He would do so because he loved her, because they all loved her and knew that I could never survive without her.

I kissed her then, pressed my cold hard lips to her warm inviting mouth more passionately than I had ever dared before, all the while wishing I could give her more as her heart pounded at a wild erratic pace and her breath came in crazy gasps. I wanted to hold her to me, breathe her in and kiss her until she pushed me away. Kiss her until all the dark cravings for her sweet blood were erased by my own erotic thoughts and carnal desires for her soft warm body.

Her luscious scent filled the room, and when I did release her, both of us were more than a little dazed. I made her another promise, when the time came I would give her everything her heart desired and more. As she worked to control her own passion and catch her breath, she answered me in a breathless squeaky whisper, "Thank you".

Time passed too quickly as I held her delicate hand, lightly kissing it over and over. I listened and felt the dulcet tones of her thoughts as I talked. So much of what her and Esme had discussed earlier in the morning came through though she fought hard to keep it private. I smiled inwardly as her desire to share herself with me in the way Esme had described seeped in between other more pronounced thoughts.

Her sweet floral scent had returned now that Carlisle had taken her off some of the medications. It had been growing more intense and potent the longer she dwelled on what Esme had told her. Earlier I had tried to block her thoughts but found that all the tricks I had taught myself, failed to block a single amorous or innocent thought she held in her head. If I didn't find some way to stop the sensuous path her mind refused to veer from, I would need to leave or submit to her desires and mine. There was no way I could submit, not here, not now and I didn't want to leave her side. How could I wait for fifteen more days with Bella's sensual thoughts bombarding me every minute?

So I tried again. Now it was something that I really wanted to do, something I needed to do. I shut my eyes and concentrated on closing her thoughts off from me and suddenly her thoughts were gone. As if a door closed and clicked into place. Immediately I felt empty. On the edge of panic, I exhaled and took in another breath and worked to open that door again.

…_. are you doing? Is something wrong?_ I opened my eyes to see Bella staring at me with an anxious look on her face. I shook my head. I smiled, looked and into her dark chocolate brown depths holding her gaze, allowing my breath to blow slowly and gently into her face, using my power to my best advantage.

"Bella, please," I spoke softly and seductively, "I promise you, all good things come in time." She was able to shrug off my powers of persuasion much easier lately but I hoped that I wouldn't need to explain any further. But she didn't even try to fight it and gave in totally pushing the thoughts of her coming change away just as I heard Charlie's familiar thoughts coming from somewhere close down the hall. I knew that Bella's mother would be with him so I reached out to find her.

_Just stay calm. If that boy's in there with her just be nice. Stay calm. Charlie said they really love each other so if she drops the M bomb just stay calm. Okay..I can do this. _

"Charlie's here with your mother." I closed my eyes and listened. Charlie's thoughts were extremely calm in contrast to Renée's who were fiery. Even though their thoughts were muddled and disorganized, they were both focused on Bella so I had an easy time sorting whose were whose.

_She seems to be handling this much better now. God please don't let her explode on Bella like she did on me. If she starts winding up again, I'll have to get Edward out of there before she says something she'll regret later_.

_There is no way I'm letting my baby even think about getting married to that boy until I know him a whole lot better and his family too. Where was Charlie when all this was going on? What are they thinking? How is he going to provide for her? As far as I'm concerned, this is going to be one very long engagement._

I felt a serious need to edit Renée's thoughts. "Your mother is worried that you are going to drop the 'M bomb' as she thinks of it." Bella squeaky hissing laugh was painful to hear but also quite funny. "Would you like me to stay while they visit?"

_What does Renée think about you being here?_

I couldn't possibly tell her what her mother really thought. "She really wants to get to know me better before you start talking about marriage so it's up to you." Bella leaned towards me with anxious eyes.

_Stay! _It was almost a plea.

I smiled and quickly leaned in and kissed her as her parents came within steps of the door. The surprising warmth of her lips spread through my face, sending me into a daze for just a second. Bella sat back into her pillows also a little glassy eyed from the suddenness of my touch. I saw and felt the heat of her rising blush as Charlie and Renée stepped through the door of her room.

I smiled and stood from the chair wondering if my presence would be of any benefit. Renée did want get to know me but I didn't believe this was the time and place to start building a relationship. But it could work to our mutual benefits. If she could see how much I loved and cared for her daughter it might make it easier for her later on.

"Nice to see you again Mrs. Dwyer." I motioned to Renée offering her the only chair in the room. "How are you Charlie?" I stepped forward and quickly shook Charlie's hand.

_Oh Bella! Oh my God! Well…she doesn't look as bad as I had expected, thank goodness._ Renée leaned over and gave Bella a hug before taking the chair.

"Oh honey, are you okay? I was so worried after Charlie called and told me what happened." _Worried! I was furious! I just can't believe all the accidents she's had since she left home._

Bella was typing her answers and comments so I picked them up from her thoughts.

"_Mom, I'm fine! OK? Don't worry. I'm just sorry you came all this way and don't even get to see me go through graduation!" _The whole time Bella was typing, Renée's thoughts were running all over the place.

_Look at her. She can't even speak._

Bella swiveled the laptop around so Renée could read.

"Oh my gosh! That's not important, well it is but – I'm just so happy you're not dead! You could have been killed, Bella!" Her hands couldn't stay still as she spoke, fluttering around towards Bella._ Oh my poor baby! She could have been mauled to death! People are killed everyday by vicious dogs and this was a wolf!_

Bella rolled her eyes._ Oh Renée, you are so over re-acting!_

I had to hold back a laugh. Her mother had no idea the danger her daughter was in each and every day and for Bella to think she was over re-acting was just laughable.

As Bella and her mother continued on with their conversation about how Bella is a danger magnet, I listened to Renée's true thoughts and found that she was extremely upset with me. She constantly referred to me as 'that boy' and was apparently under the impression that I was to blame for Bella's recklessness especially with the dirt bike. I was wondering if she would bring it up just when the words came from her mouth.

"I know honey and I'm not blaming you, except for the dirt bike thing. I have no idea what you were thinking." _What was Edward thinking?_ She was shaking her head trying to figure out why I would do something like that. She was lucky that I had almost a century of practice at keeping my emotions in check. She was jumping to all sorts of conclusions without any facts.

Unfortunately Bella had no practice at all and was now glaring at her father. _I can't believe you told her!_

"I didn't mean to tell her. It's just after you sold the thing it just kinda slipped out." Charlie said with a sheepish grin almost as if he had heard Bella's thoughts as well.

"I just couldn't believe that Edward let you do that! If he knows you at all…"

Bella's mouth dropped open. Now her glare was centered on her mother. She was stunned that Renée believed it was my fault. I stood silent, rooted to my spot.

_Oh no no no! Wait a second! She's starting the wind up!_ "Wait a second, Renée." Charlie spoke up laughing_. I thought I told her the whole story. Leave it to Renee to get the facts all screwed up!_ "You can't blame Edward for that. He wasn't even here…" _Oh crap, I didn't want to get into this._ "… if he had known, he would've never let her get on that bike much less buy it! I don't know how many times he's kept her out of harms way and frankly, I would be afraid to ask, but I know he would never let her go off and do something stupid like that."

_Oh just great Charlie! So now I look really stupid! _"I'm really sorry Edward, I just thought it was you that encouraged her to buy a dirt bike." She really was sorry for blaming me all this time and with that blame lifted from my shoulders, her thoughts grew a little kinder towards my relationship with her daughter. Charlie explained that it was Jacob who was to blame and then quickly tried to change the subject by asking Bella when she would be released from the hospital.

"My father said she needs to stay one more night." I answered. I knew they needed an explanation as to why Bella needed to stay one more night and I also wanted Charlie to watch out for Jacob and any advances he may make to carry out his threats. I also knew that this was something that Bella would rather not have me disclose but it was for her safety and for that reason alone, I went ahead. I looked Bella in the eye. "They need to know what happened this morning." I could tell by the way her body reacted that she knew I was not asking her permission.

'_Please edit out all the unnecessary stuff, okay?_' She softly pleaded. I nodded.

"Jacob Black came by this morning around 4:30. My mother had stayed with Bella and knew that Jacob was her friend so she let him come in."

"He is her friend, isn't he?" Renée was confused. Charlie just shook his head almost guessing what had happened. He knew how Jacob felt about Bella, how desperate Jacob had been when he brought the dirt bike over. I tried to explain that everyone knew Bella and I were together. It was one of the hardest things I had ever tried to do. I needed her parents to know how much I love their daughter and why I had left. But…no matter what, I couldn't tell the whole truth.

"I didn't move away because I didn't love her anymore…" _Please try to understand_, "I had to go with my family." I took in a huge breath and let it out slowly. _I did it. I told her parents that I love her. _I looked to Bella as her thoughts rode over all others. Her love gave me the courage to continue.

"Jacob befriended her while I was gone and mistakenly took her friendship for much more than it really was. When I came back, he changed. He came here this morning and asked Bella to marry him."

"WHAT?" Charlie and Renée said in unison.

"When she refused, he got really ugly and he threatened to hurt me and my family."

Charlie was instantly angry. _Damn him! What the hell was he thinking? I'm calling Billy and telling him that Jacob had better not set foot in this hospital while Bella is here. I swear I'll arrest him if he does!_

"He couldn't be serious, could he?" Renée was in shock.

Charlie was fuming. "Unfortunately, Jacob's dad, Billy, has some stupid unfounded hatred for the Cullen's. He used to make all kinds of accusations against them and for a while there, I had to put an end to my friendship with him. I knew Dr. Cullen and his family and I just couldn't take it anymore." _This is just so unbelievable_. "Jacob was always a real nice boy until he started hanging around with an older crowd out there in La Push." _Bella tried to warn me but I didn't listen._ "They were the first ones to come help out when…." _When Edward left her in the woods. _His voice had suddenly stopped but his mind had finished the sentence. _Let's just pour salt in an open wound while were at it!_

I lowered my eyes to stare at the floor. Charlie was trying to avoid bringing that subject up but all conversations seemed to lead back to that day in one way or another.

Charlie took a breath and carried on, "It was one of their group that found Bella in the woods after she had wondered too far from the house and gotten lost the day Edward had to leave. They are also the same group that went out searching for the girl that wolf had dragged off. We still haven't found any trace of her yet, or the wolf."

Renée was shaking her head. _Oh Bella, oh honey. What am I going to do?_ "Bella, honey, what are we going to do with you?" _It's just not safe here. I just want to pack her things and take her home with me._

Bella was typing away at the laptop. Plans for our future together flowed quickly and silently through her brain and into mine. She had it all perfectly planned out. But what she had typed was completely different from the thoughts rushing through her head. _"Nothing, mom, I have my own plans." _She looked to her mother for a response. Renée's posture became stiff and determined in her chair.

_You are going to college young lady! _"I hope these plans include going to college." The words came out through clenched teeth. Bella began typing again.

"_Of course, but those are not my most immediate plans."_ _Well she's either going to hit the roof or get really quiet._

I had to wonder which would be the more dangerous reaction when Renée's voice came out low and quiet.

"Oh really? And what, I am afraid to ask, are your most immediate plans?" Definitely the more dangerous reaction.

Bella's eyes came up to mine. _Here we go. I'm just going to type it all out so get ready._ She knew as she typed that it was risky to proceed at this point but she wasn't about to back down now. Her plans rushed by in her thoughts in an orderly fashion. I listened as she typed out her explanation of her great grades and the colleges that she was considering, all the money she had saved and ended it all with, _"…Edward and I are getting married."_

_Okay mom and dad, there it is! _Bella let out the breath she had been unconsciously holding in as she typed.

Charlie smiled. He had already known. He had discussed this with Esme a couple of weeks ago. Renée, on the other hand, just looked down at the floor.

_Dammit Charlie! Just breathe. Stay calm. Bella is not me and he is not Charlie so all I can hope for is that it won't end up in a nasty divorce. It must have taken a lot for her to even tell me. Just try to be happy for her. For them._

Bella was anxiously waiting for a sign from me. When I felt that Renée had finally resigned herself to be happy for us, I smiled and nodded to Bella. Renée took a deep exaggerated breath.

"Charlie told me this was coming." She smiled warmly at Bella. " You know, I really wanted you to wait until you were older and not make the mistakes I did but…I understand, you are not me and Edward is definitely not Charlie. I just hope that growing up listening to me go on about what I did wrong will keep you from falling into that same trap." She stood kissed Bella's forehead then sat back down. "Have you set a date yet?" _Not too soon, please!_

The squeaky laughter that came from Bella's throat was painfully hilarious. She looked at me to answer her mother's question. I explained that even though I had asked her to marry me a while ago, she had just given me her consent that morning.

"Does your family know?" Renée asked all the while wondering when she would be meeting the rest of my family she had not already met while we were in Phoenix.

"I'm sure they do by now. Bella informed my mother that she was going to say yes sometime around one o'clock this morning. I'm just surprised Alice hasn't been here yet. She's probably off making all kinds of wedding plans." That was something I was sure Bella would be interested in. She would know that Alice had seen this coming. I listened to Renée's concerns before continuing.

_Where are they going to live? How is he going to support her? I guess going to college is out for now_.

I smiled inwardly knowing exactly what I needed to say to calm her fears. "We will be living with my family while we attend college but first I had planned on taking Bella on a long honeymoon. My family and I have traveled a lot and I can't wait to share that with her."

"How you can afford a honeymoon like that?" The more time I spent around Renée, the more I saw her in Bella. Their reactions were rarely what I would expect.

"Renée!" Charlie blurted out.

I looked into my true loves eyes. She really had kept my secrets well, so well in fact that her own mother had no idea if I were a beggar or a baron. I caught Renée's gaze and held it as I reassured her that my family was very well off and wondered why she wouldn't have thought so herself after meeting Carlisle and finding out that he was a very successful doctor. I couldn't help but charm her a little as I asked her not to worry about where the money would come from. I could see it worked as her body relaxed into the chair. Her thoughts calmed considerably as soon as she found that money would not be a problem. I seemed to have wiped away her main concerns. Bella saw it also.

"Well, that's extremely nice to hear, Edward." Renée was only a little dazzled now. She looked at Bella and smiled. "I was really hoping that you would stay with me in Port Angeles while I'm here. I wanted to buy you some new clothes or something. Do you think that Dr. Cullen will let you do that if you feel up to it?"

Bella's mind seemed to explode with feelings.

_Oh God! Three days with Renee! Well that's fine but… three days away from Edward! I would miss him too much! I can't! I… _

I could see that I needed to step in before Bella worked herself up into a frenzy. "I'm afraid Bella would do it even if my father said no. I think it would be wonderful for her."

_What? Edward! What are you doing? Are you trying to get rid of me for a few days? _

I only smiled what I hoped would look like an innocent smile and gave her the slightest nod of my head. I had things to take care of, errands to run. With Victoria gone, Bella should be safe without my constant supervision.

After a few hours I had begun to wish that Charlie and Renée would leave. Go do something, get lunch, anything that would take them from Bella's room for a while. I never realized how hard it was to be in the same room with Bella and not touch her. I wanted to kiss her, lie next to her, wrap my arms around her fragile human body and trace my fingers across the silky smoothness of her face and neck. It took all my self-control to not start pacing the room like a caged animal.

For almost three hours I stood leaning against the wall, my hands balled into fists in my pockets as I waited. I kept my mind open so I could hear what was going through Charlie and Renée's thoughts as they visited with their daughter. But Bella's thoughts were always at the forefront, soothing me like a balm, keeping me sane and squashing the constant buzz that threatened to overwhelm me. Renée had finally worked the conversation around to where and when Bella planned to go on and complete her education.

"Well, no matter where you go, you have no excuses as to why you can't answer your e-mails anymore." Renée pointed to the laptop before going on, "I know for a fact that I've e-mailed you quite a few times before coming here trying to set up some plans with you."

_Okay! I'll check it right now just to make you happy!_ I smiled as Bella's fingers typed quickly across the keyboard.

"See! Look at that! You have seven e-mails from me and one from someone else. Really Bella, when you go off to college…and get married, how else do you think we can keep in touch?"

_Who is angelwebs? Oh! Angela! _Bella tapped the small square in the keyboard.

_What the heck?_ A squeaky little laugh came from between her lips.

"Who is it? Oh My! How can you read that? It almost looks like a foreign language." Renée was leaning over to read what must have appeared on the screen, "What does all that mean? Oh! Okay, now I get …some of it! But what's that?" She was pointing at the screen.

_ZOMC? OMC? TDL? I have no idea_. Bella just shrugged her shoulders, shook her head and looked utterly confused.

Renée stared at what ever was written there. "I spend all this time trying to teach five-year olds to read phonetically and look what happens when they get older!" She laughed, "Please don't send me any e-mails that look like this. I really don't want to spend half an hour trying to decipher it."

Bella began to type and the words fell onto me like a landslide. "_I don't plan on keeping this laptop."_

Renée just looked at the screen and then at Bella. "Why not? I thought it was a gift."

"_I can't accept a gift like this! This thing must cost over two thousand dollars!" _She typed.

"I don't think Alice can return it, honey." Charlie said as he also looked at what she typed. He was expecting Bella to put up a fight right from the moment Alice presented to her, but now after having accepted the gift, he realized Bella must have been having second thoughts about it. "It might hurt her feelings if you try to give it back, you know."

My insides twisted in the most peculiar way._Does this mean she will refuse her ring?_ I couldn't help but wonder.

My heart sank. _"No rings!"_ Bella's words rang clear in my head from the day I asked her to marry me, the day we made the bargain. Would she still feel the same about an engagement ring now that she agreed to marry me?

Charlie and Renée began to ramble on about why Bella should keep the laptop, the advantages to having one for college and so on. I looked down at the floor and closed my mind off from everyone except Bella. I needed to hear only her.

_Edward... Edward... Look at me. _

It was a request I couldn't fight even if I had wanted to, so I looked up and fell deep into my loves concerned eyes. Her loving thoughts calmed me.

_You know why I can't keep it… Once you change me it would be nothing but a temptation. You understand don't you?_

I smiled and nodded my head. Bella was right. This had nothing to do with it being a gift. The temptation for her to contact her parents would be too great for her to have free access to it.

"Charlie, Renée, it's really not a problem. Alice will totally understand." I smiled, as they looked my way. "Besides, Alice never has any trouble returning things there. She's lucky that store has always had a great return policy."

Just as the odor of hot food wafted down the hall and into the door, I heard the unmistakable sounds of a human stomach announcing its need to be filled.

"Oh, excuse me!" Renée giggled, "I must be hungry."

"Well, Bella, if you don't mind, we'll run out and get some lunch, okay?" Charlie motioned to Renee with his hand.

Bella waved at them her lips moving in a whisper, "Go on, go on!" _Get! Get! Go have some lunch! Whatever! _

"I'm staying here with you tonight." Renée stated it in such a way that Bella couldn't argue the point. Then both Charlie and Renée took turns hugging their daughter before stepping out of the room.

Suddenly Bella's melodic thoughts crashed into me with such force I could do nothing but let them pass through me. She had no idea how seductive the voice of her mind was, especially when she was directing it towards me and not just some random thoughts floating around in her head. I had to fight the urge to run and pounce on her, to cover her in kisses as I did when she'd been on restriction. Her eyes seemed to bore into me where I stood.

_Okay, it's been almost three hours since you last kissed me and I can hardly stand it. What am I going to do without you for three days?_

I couldn't control the huge smile that broke out on my face. "Suffer." I almost growled at her but in a loving way._ Suffer Bella, as I would suffer without you._

_Don't make me come over there._ Her false threat was amusing.

From across the room I slowly walked towards her. I wasn't sure if she even knew she was doing it but she began repeating my name over and over in her head.

_Edward, Edward, Edward…_

I breathed in cautiously, trying to catch only her scent. Her floral fragrance hit my nose and poured down the back of my throat like a warm summer breeze sending me into a haze. I saw nothing but her glorious face. I continued to take each deliberate step slowly straight to her bedside watching her skin break out in goose bumps as I came within feet of her. I could hear her heart racing, pumping blood into her cheeks, her ears, down her neck to disappear inside her hospital gown. Even her lips had become the most luscious shade of rose.

I leaned over her, came within an inch of her moist pouty lips. Her breath was blowing in quick uneven pants directly into my waiting mouth. I could smell her scent, taste her breath as it changed, became more intense, more everything that was Bella. I would surely suffer without her for the next three days. But, I would make it the last time we were ever apart for more than a few hours.

"You need to go with Renée. I have an errand to run but I will be back very soon." I was hoping to dazzle her and I succeeded. She had worked herself up into such a state that she was easily charmed. I couldn't help but smile. I turned my head and glanced at the laptop screen where the e-mail from Angela was still displayed. Normally, my memory was almost photographic but this I had to look at twice before being able to understand any of what was written there.

_Bella,_

_HEY! It's Angela! I ran n2 Alice the store wile she was bying u a comp! My parents gave me this Dell XPS M1710! Its RED! I no, a bit OOC 4 me, but its AWSOME!!!)_

_NY-who,_

_ZOMC! Wat s it with u and the ER!?!? I cant beleve u r gonna to miss grad! And wat r u planning to tell ur mom?! S she stll comin? Dos she no?_

_OMC, we r gonna miss u! Can u keep all ur limbs 4 at least a year this time?! I m soooooo sry I cant come c u/sobs/. 2 much grad prep! SOOOOOO stressed! GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!_

_Wen r u plning n telin Edward bout 'It' ??? Dont wory, I wont say nything-TDL._

_Now the mprtnt stuff! A WOLF?!?!?!??!?!!??! WTH?! How dd it gt in?! wat hapned 2 the ded grl?! This s the biggest thng tht hs hapned in Forks HISTORY!!!!!_

_Laurens being a$$! bout it! -says it ws nt THAT big a deal…WTH?! I swar, only she…_

_SO mch hs ben hapnin! My hed is explodin!_

_Well, Ig2g_

_WB! O.O;_

_Angela_

_P.S. I lik ur new comp!_

"No wonder your mother and father were confused! I can't hardly read it either!" I almost burst out laughing. Bella's thoughts were happy for a moment then became so unbearably sad.

_Angela was a wonderful friend. I never really made very many friends before. I'll really miss her._ Bella's thoughts were so heart wrenching I longed to say something to comfort her but all I could do was tell her the truth. I looked back into her beautiful eyes and took her face in my hands then placed small loving kisses on her lips.

"No…you won't miss her. You probably won't even remember her." Then I sat on her bed and pulled her into my lap. She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me with all her strength as she nestled her head into my chest.

"I will miss you every second were apart my love, but I promise when I return, I will stay by your side forever."

"I know." She whispered and then I felt her tender lips kissing my neck softly, sending waves of desire through me and for one fleeting moment, I wished we could stay like that forever. But I knew that I would always remember these small hours with joy and sadness. My vampire memory would remember each minute with complete clarity but after Bella was turned, this day would fade away and she would only remember it as a story I would tell of her past human life. It didn't matter. We would have eternity to make memories she would never forget.


	11. Chapter 11 The Limits to Hesitation

_"I will miss you every second were apart my love, but I promise when I return, I will stay by your side forever." _

_"I know." She whispered and then I felt her tender lips kissing my neck softly, sending waves of desire through me and for one fleeting moment, I wished we could stay like that forever. But I knew that I would always remember these small hours with joy and sadness. My vampire memory would remember each minute with complete clarity, but after Bella was turned, this day would fade away and she would only remember it as a story I would tell of her past human life. It didn't matter. We would have eternity to make memories she would never forget. _

Chapter Eleven

The Limits to Hesitation

Carlisle came in to check on Bella around six-thirty that evening and she was more than curious as to why she couldn't go home. Beyond not having the use of her voice yet, she felt fine, wonderful in fact. He gave her more than a few reasons why he wanted her to stay, none of which had anything to do with the fact that a trace amount of vampire venom was still running through her veins possibly causing changes we were unable to see yet, and still, she continued to put up an argument. I was the only one in the room full of people who really knew why she wanted out of there. Besides the desire to be in her own home and sleep in her own bed, she wanted some time alone with me before she went off for three days with her mother.

"Will I need to sedate you again?" Carlisle was serious now. Bella shook her head vehemently and looked over at me. Carlisle understood she was conveying a message.

'_If I can't get out of here, would you please ask him could if he get Charlie and Renée out for at least an hour? I just would really like to be alone with you a while before you have to leave for the night.'_

Her thoughts swept into me creating a wave of anticipation. '_An hour alone. I need more than an hour, my love. But if that's all I can have of you now, I'll take it.'_

I quickly glanced at Carlisle. 'S_tep out into the hall. I'll be there in a second.' _

I excused myself and left the room waiting outside the door while Carlisle talked with Charlie and Renée for a moment. When he came out, I relayed Bella's request.

"Sure, not a problem. I'll make it happen if that will keep Bella in her bed resting for one more night." He swiftly stepped back into Bella's room and his invitation to dinner was something that neither one of Bella's parents were able to refuse. After almost four hundred years of practice, an invitation from Carlisle was something no human, male or female could resist.

I leaned against the wall as Charlie and Renée walked past me, never even noticing I was there. Carlisle had pulled out his cell phone and was already asking Esme and Alice to meet them at a restaurant in town.

'_An hour at least Edward, two hours if possible. No more than that and please don't get Bella overly excited, she needs her rest and you need to hunt again. I'll see you at home.' _He turned back with a smile to see my head nod. I stepped back inside Bella's door and closed it behind me.

Carlisle had the IV removed from her arm so she could move freely around the room and now she was sitting on the edge of the bed. I could tell that she had quickly run the brush through her silky brown hair. At that moment, she was wearing more than I had seen her wear since summer had supposedly come to Forks. Normally she wore a tank top and shorts or a skirt but now her pale skin was all but completely covered in a faded blue cotton fabric dress, which on anyone else would have been completely unflattering. Besides her face and neck, the gown covered all but her forearms, hands, shins, ankles and bare feet. Even in a hospital gown, she was the most stunning creature I had ever seen. She looked up at me playfully from under her dark eyelashes. A sly smile formed on her lips.

'_God, I wonder how many times he would let me kiss him in an hour?'_

"And who would be keeping count, my love?" I hadn't moved from the door when she ran the few steps and bounded into my arms. Carefully and gently, I picked her up and covered her warm soft face in small kisses as a raspy sort of giggle came from between her lips as she melted into my touch.

"Bella. My beautiful Bella." I whispered as I skimmed the velvety skin of her neck with my nose breathing her in as deeply as I could, tasting the scent of her in the back of my heated throat. A tingle of electricity began to build in me. I needed her. I ached her. The need for her body was so much more than the thirst for her sweet blood. The days following our wedding night could not come soon enough and I wasn't the least bit surprised that Bella felt the same way. I couldn't wait to lay with her again, feel her body next to mine. As I took a few steps toward her bed, she began to protest.

'_No! Please! I need to stand for a while. My butt hurts so bad from lying in bed too long.'_

I felt a sad smile spread across my face. This small discomfort was nothing compared to what I willingly lived with every second of everyday or the pain she would endure to spend forever with me.

'_Really! It hurts! I'm not kidding! Besides… I would really love to see you…you know… over at the window.'_

She was looking at me from under her eyelashes again. Her fingers were gently tracing the features of my face, her sweet breath drifting into me, teasing me. If I were to give in and risk standing at the window, I would have to keep my mind open in case anyone was planning to come into her room. I took a deep breath and slowly let it out right into Bella's face as her body completely relaxed in my arms.

'_That is so not fair Edward.'_ Her thought was a soft sigh, a sweet surrender.

"Then we're even, my love."

"Play nice, Mr. Cullen."She whispered.

A wicked smile came to my lips as I shifted her easily to one arm and walked over to the window. I reached up, pushed the blinds aside about two inches, and then stepped into the light of the sun that lay low in the horizon. It would be setting soon and within the next fifteen minutes another twilight would be upon us.

I set her down on her feet and as the shadow of her head left my face, she gasped at the sight of me.

'_Oh Edward! Do you have any idea how amazingly beautiful you are?'_

Rolling my eyes, I stood with my arms wrapped around her waist keeping my mind open to the constant buzz outside of her room. The look on her face was fascinating. Her brown eyes were huge as she traced her fingers over every inch of my face starting at my forehead and working slowly down around my eyes, over my nose, around my cheeks and my ears. Her smile showed how in awe she was at the sight of me. Her fluid thoughts were filled with amazement at how she had never gotten used to seeing me this way. Then her thumbs trailed over my lips as I kissed them. All of her fingers glided down my neck and then nimbly unfasten the first five buttons of my shirt. She pressed her delicious lips against my chest and sent a glorious tremble through my entire body. Inhaling a ragged breath my mouth, throat and lungs were filled with her intense floral fragrance. It was like adding fuel to the already burning fire within my body.

'_Oh God Bella! Do you now what you're doing to me?'_

Her eyes immediately flashed up to mine and a huge grin replaced the smile as her face flushed suddenly. Her scent was pushing the limits of my self-control so I was forced to hold my breath. Then she wrapped her arms around my waist and laid her hot cheek against my bare cold chest.

'_Will I always see you this way after I become… a vampire?'_

I inhaled only enough to speak. "Yes. Not as much inside as outdoors. Even on a cloudy day we sparkle, but in the direct sun we can be radiant to the point of distraction."

'_You're already radiant to the point of distraction. I remember the first time I saw you, I couldn't stop looking at you from across the cafeteria. I couldn't believe how strangely beautiful you were. And even after all this time, I still have trouble keeping my eyes off of you.'_

She looked up at me and brought her hands from around my waist. She began tracing my face once more and as the sun sank lower in the sky I pressed my lips to hers knowing now that she understood the promise my kisses held for her. As I kissed her, our thoughts became one rich melodious song…

_'Soon, very soon.'_

Twilight came and went. No one entered Bella's room for two wonderful hours. For those two small hours, she belonged to me. I had opened the blinds as night fell and we stood in each other's arms looking out at the starry sky. The warmth of her body covered me as the melody of her random thoughts caressed my mind. Even with every fire that burned within my body, I was completely at peace with her next to me. We stood leaning against the wall next to the window doing nothing more than enjoying the solitude when the vibration of my cell phone interrupted our quiet moment.

"Damn."

'_What is it?'_

Pulling the tiny phone from my pocket, I flipped it open to see I had received a text message from Alice. I quickly read it, pressed a few buttons and sent my reply before placing it back inside my pocket.

"They're in the parking lot." I sighed. I stroked the silky skin of her cheek with my fingertips then lifted her chin bringing her lips up to mine once more. Picking her up in my arms, I took her back to her bed. "Sorry, my love." I said as I laid her down, pulling her sheet and blanket up to cover her. Then I swiftly went to the door and pulled it open before taking my place in the chair. Bella's hand reached out for mine. My body missed her warmth already.

"I love you Edward Cullen." She said in her raspy little whisper.

"I love you Isabella Swan."

She laid her head down against the pillows. '_So many things have changed since the last time I was in a hospital bed.'_

I raised my eyebrows at her. I heard exactly what she was remembering from the last time I sat next to her hospital bed holding her hand just as I did now. She had been broken, bandaged, and plastered. She had asked me why I had saved her and not let James venom turn her. At that time, just the thought of taking her precious human life was nothing short of insanity. I had flat refused to damn her to a night without end. It seemed I had won that battle. However, the warring factions within me were my worst enemy. The only way Bella and I could ever truly be happy was by my total surrender to her wishes. Wishes that were now just as much mine, as they have always been hers. In a way, even though I had given up, I didn't really lose at all. Soon the only love I had ever known would be mine forever.

"You were right to bet on Alice." I kissed her hand as I heard the voices of Alice and Renée coming from somewhere down the hall.

Within a minute, they both walked through the door.

'_I'm sorry. I couldn't keep her away any longer. After we picked up the rental car she insisted on coming back.'_ Alice smiled apologetically as I stood and offered Renée the chair. She was carrying a brown paper bag and set it next to the wall before taking a seat in the chair.

"Dr. Cullen said he will release you first thing in the morning so I brought you some clean clothes for tomorrow. Alice helped me pick them out since she knows where everything is in your room. I saw your prom dress from last year, I can imagine you looked lovely. I wish you would've sent me a picture though." Then she looked over at me, "Your parents are so nice Edward. We had a wonderful time!" '_It's no wonder they're all so slender, they hardly touched their food.'_

I looked over at Alice. If she had actually eaten food, she would be more than ready to rid herself of it.

'_Please! Let's go! I'm feeling quite uncomfortable right now with all that nasty human food sitting like a rock in my stomach! It's disgusting!'_

Walking over to Bella's bedside and took her hand, gently squeezing it. "I'll come by in the morning before you go." As I looked into her deep dark eyes I saw tears begin to well up and threaten to spill over the edges.

'_I'll miss you so much!'_

I leaned over and hugged her to me as she clutched at me with all her might. "Don't cry Bella," I whispered, "I'll miss you too."

xxX0Xxx

"Arrgg!" I yelled out in frustration, "I can't believe this! I'm not even thirsty and I still couldn't control my venom!" I looked over to where Carlisle stood leaning against a tree. "I was under the impression that practice is supposed to make it easier to control not harder!" I growled harshly.

"Edward, you're fighting an urge that you've never attempted to control before. You can't expect to master it in two nights." He couldn't help but laugh at my aggravation over something that took him a couple hundred years to master.

"All this time with Bella and I haven't bitten her yet! You would think that kind of control might count for something!" I snapped at him not finding humor in his comments.

"No. No it doesn't." His voice was calm and understanding. "The only thing you have that counts is your love for her."

"If I really loved her, would I be practicing to take her soul?" I mumbled sarcastically in the barest of whispers.

"Fine." Carlisle's golden eyes sparkled with anger as he strode past me to the car we had hidden a mile away. "We are done here." '_I'll do it myself.'_

"Noooo!" I yelled into the blackness of the forest. All my muscles pulled taught as my body involuntarily readied to attack, "She wants me to do it! She belongs to me!" I roared at Carlisle fighting the horrible urge that was sweeping through me as I stood shaking violently. He turned and within the blink of an eye, he was standing within inches of my face.

"Then take her! Take her soul Edward if that's what you believe! Make the choice and be happy with it!" Even though he had raised his voice, it was still full of the same calm and control he always possessed. "Do it before the Volturi find her. For when they do, it won't matter to them if she's twenty, thirty or even seventy years old, she has something that Aro desires and he won't hesitate to take her. He will bite her and turn her into a creature that is nothing short of a slave who willingly slaughters humans to feed her bloodlust. He will use her like a tool and when she has outlived her purpose, he will kill her. That is the life you will damn her to by not taking her as your own,"_ 'and I refuse to let that happen. There are limits to hesitation Edward, now make a choice.'_

My breath caught in my throat. "But…Carlisle…what if I fail? What if…?"

"You won't fail." His face never changed but his eyes flashed anger at me once again.

"What has Alice seen? What is it that everyone is hiding from me?" My voice had been reduced to a pleading whisper.

"You won't fail Edward. Now, are we finished here or are you ready to continue?"

I stared into Carlisle's golden eyes. I realized that even with all my well-laid plans, I could never really protect Bella from the Volturi as long as she was human unless she stayed as far from us as possible and that option was completely unacceptable. With the threat of losing my beloved to the Volturi fresh in my brain, I brought forth all the determination I could summon within myself to save her from a fate that would most definitely be worse than anything I could ever do to her. A fate worse even than death.

"Yes Carlisle, I'm ready to continue."

xxX0Xxx

Carlisle was silent in the car on the way home. His thoughts were quiet and random. His anger with me had disappeared as fast as it had come on and he didn't dwell on it.

"Thank you Carlisle."

"For what?"

"For a thousand things…saving me, teaching me, believing in me, loving me as your son even though I've disappointed you so many times… forgiving me…I could go on and on."

"You are so very welcome, Edward." He paused. He was thinking about how he was so blessed by the wonderful family that surrounded him, loved him. "You know I respect your views on life, death, rebirth and whatever waits for our kind after our time on this earth is over. However, in all our years together I have never seen you glow with happiness as you do when Bella is at your side, nor have I seen you sink into such dark depression when you're without her. I understand why you had doubts and I know that many of those doubts have been wiped away now that you can hear Bella's thoughts." He looked at me and smiled, "It confused you to no end that she found it completely acceptable to become a vampire, to die and be reborn at your hand, or rather your teeth, but not to become your wife in the legal human sense of the word."

"You have no idea how unsettling that was."

"Bella is quite… unique in the way she views the world and what's important to her. But both of you have given a promise to the other, to give what each of you desires most and that's true love, Edward."

Jessica Stanley's words flashed into my mind. "I _am_ one love sick puppy."

"Yes! Yes you are!" Carlisle burst out laughing and I gladly laughed right along with him. "It's your love that gives you the strength to control your basic nature, your vampire instincts and your burning thirst for Bella's blood. You really are much stronger than you believe."

"I wish there was something more I could give her."

"More than eternal life with the one she loves?" He chuckled.

"More now… something of myself I could share with her while she is still human."

"Oh…" I heard his questions in my head.

"No, I have never touched her in that way. Not that I haven't wanted to and now I know Bella has wanted the same thing but – no." More questions poured out to me and all of a sudden, I felt as if I were having this conversation with Emmett.

"No! I've never… we've never… No! I thought that was impossible with a human!"

Carlisle started laughing, "Well you do seem to possess an almost impossible amount of self-control where Bella is concerned. Still, I would have been amazed if you had and she was still alive to enjoy it." '_Well then let's start with something simple and relatively safe – for both of you…'_

I listened intently as Carlisle described what he felt should be safe and as I sat listening I could feel the tingle of electricity run through my body at the thought of sharing something of myself with Bella in those small ways. Suddenly he spoke and his voice was very serious.

"By attempting to share more with her, the level of sexual arousal you could bring out in both of you may be more than either of you can control. You will be asking her to join you in a very dangerous dance, Edward, a dark dance of temptation and unless you are ready and willing to bite her at a moments notice there is not much more you can share with her."

xxX0Xxx

After going home to change into fresh clothes we drove to the hospital and arrived around six in the morning. Immediately I blocked out the voices in my head. I'd had enough of their irritating buzzing noise yesterday. Carlisle stopped at the nurse's station to sign the release forms for Bella as I went on to her room. I stood motionless in her doorway. The smell of her shampoo and clean skin filled the air. She had showered and stood looking out of the blinds at the new morning. She was already dressed wearing the outfit that we had picked up in Port Angeles, the light blue jean skirt and royal blue blouse. I smiled to myself as I began to feel the tingle of desire sweep through every cell in my body.

'_Isabella, you are so beautiful.'_

'_Edward!'_ Her mind sang out to me, through me, as if she felt my very presence in her room. She turned slowly, gracefully, knowing all the while that her beauty had captured me.

Just then, I heard Carlisle and Renée talking as they came down the hall together. I was so enthralled with Bella I hadn't even noticed that Renée was no longer in the room. In a sudden burst of speed, I rushed over to Bella and pulled her into my arms, kissing her quickly before her mother returned. Then I held her steady in my arms as her heart raced and she tried to catch the breath that I had stolen from her in my haste.

'_Edward…I knew you were there_.' Her thoughts were confused and concerned.

"I wouldn't be surprised considering what you do to me." I whispered seductively in her ear trying to comfort her worried mind.

Renée and Carlisle came through the door as I released Bella from my arms. I opened my mind to Renée's thoughts while still trying to block the rest of the noise.

"Hi Edward." '_I keep forgetting how handsome he and his dad are. It must run in the family, good genes I guess.'_

"Good morning Mrs. Dwyer."

"Oh call me Renée, Edward! I'm only Mrs. Dwyer when I'm teaching." She laughed, now feeling much more comfortable with me around.

"Well Bella, I can imagine you are more than ready to leave this place." Carlisle smiled as he touched her shoulder. "I know I'm ready to get back to my vacation." It was more an extended leave of absence since he never really planned on coming back after Bella and I were married.

Renée immediately stopped fiddling with Bella's things to look at Carlisle. "Oh my gosh! I didn't know you were supposed to be on vacation!"

"Nothing to worry about Renée! I have plenty of time left. I'm just glad to have been here when Bella needed me." Carlisle held his hand out to Renée and she took it. He spoke softly and sincerely, "It was very nice to see you again." He released her hand and left the room. I could see she was a little dazed by him.

'_Oh my, he has the most beautiful eyes!'_

Even her thought was somewhat slurred. She blinked a couple of times and seemed to pull herself together.

'_Gosh Mom! Get a hold of yourself, would ya!' _Bella was smiling and shaking her head at her mother's reaction to Carlisle. '_What is it with you Cullen men anyway?' _She smiled up at me.

"Have you got all your things together Bella?" Renée's eyes slowly moved around the room. "What about this?" She pointed over at the laptop.

Bella nodded her head and sat down on the bed to finish packing away a few things when I looked over and saw that she had received another e-mail from Angela just minutes earlier. She looked up at me with a sad smile on her face.

'_I see it. I don't know if I should even bother reading it.'_

I reached over and tapped the little square mouse pad opening Angela's e-mail.

_Bella!_

_HEY! It's Angela again! I was kind of miffed that u didn't reply but then I thought…hey! Even though Bella's sooooo dang smart, she's pretty computer illiterate! & then after I looked at the e-mail I sent u, I new u were probably lost…. Soooo I'll slow down and spell out a few things this tiem. (no I spelled it that way on purpose!) OK?_

_Grad was GRRRR8!!!! . !!!OMC!!! I wsh u could hv bn thr! We had it outside! Lauren hd on these 4" spike heels & tripped ovr hr gown nocking into 3 other ppl & they all went down lik dominosXDD!!! What is it they say bout KARMA?!?! IT BITES!! (smiles wickedly) NY-who, she changed shoes b4 comin 2 grad-nite. _

_I stayed up al nite dancing (cn u imagine??)!!! I even sang karaoke!! (squeals!!) Now Im wiped but Im sure I feel better than u! _

_Sooooo….u no…Edward & all…hmmmm? UR killin me Bella!!!X/ _

_Well, Ig2g !!huggles!!_

_WB (write back) just go up to the little icon where it says 'reply' and click on it OK???_

_Angela_

I touched the mouse pad again and moved the pointer up to 'reply' and tapped it.

"There you go." I smiled at Bella's still sad face.

'_I don't know what to tell her.'_

I pointed at the screen, '_Sooooo….u no…Edward & all…hmmmm? UR killin me Bella!!!X/'_ "Answer the question." Bella placed her fingers on the keyboard and began to type.

_Hi Angela!_

_I'm feeling much better now. I still can't talk so I won't bother trying to call you yet. I'm glad it was such a beautiful day and you were able to have the ceremony outside. That's so funny about Lauren, (I would laugh manically if I could)! And Yes! My mom did make it here and spent the night with me last night. I'm getting out this morning and then we're going up to Port Angeles for 3 days._

_Hmmmm…Edward and all? Yes and YES!!! We haven't set a date though so PLEASE don't tell anyone yet! Oh! And YES! Both of our families know!_

_By for now, and thanks for everything!_

_Bella_

I watched as Bella tapped the 'send' icon and then began to shut down the computer. Just then, a nurse came in with a wheel chair and a set of papers for Bella to sign.

'_I'm not getting in that thing.'_ Bella shook her head as she pointed at the wheel chair.

"Sorry, dear, but I have to escort you out of the building." She said after reading the expression on Bella's face.

Bella rolled her eyes and gave in without an argument. She was just happy to be getting out no matter how she had to get to the car. I picked up all her things and fell into line behind Renée as we headed towards the elevator.

"Where are you parked?" The nurse asked Renée.

"Oh, I'm down in the garage on the first level." That was fortunate for me otherwise I would have had to leave before they got close to the windows.

The elevator came to a stop, the doors slid open into the underground parking garage, and we all stepped out. When Renée walked off to get the car, I leaned over Bella running my fingers gently over her soft cheek and under her chin before lifting her mouth to mine. When I pulled back from our kiss, her heart was racing and her eyes were pleading with me.

'_I wish I didn't have to go! I wish you wouldn't leave! This is going to be the longest three days of my life.'_

"Don't believe it for a second." I whispered in her ear, as I held my cold cheek to her warm skin. "The longest three days of your life will be here soon enough, my love and I will hold you in my arms and never let go." I felt her smile against me.

'_Well, since you put it that way, I guess this won't be so bad.'_

I whispered once more, "I'm sure you'll make the best of it."

xxX0Xxx

The plans of what I needed to accomplish while Bella was off with her mother went through my head repeatedly as I drove home. With Esme along for the ride, the first stop we would make would be in Seattle and then straight up to Denali to drop off the Aston Martin. Esme seemed to be even more excited about the trip than I was. She couldn't wait to show someone the new house she had bought for us.

She had brought back some pictures of it but would only show them to Carlisle, as she wanted to keep it a surprise. The only thing I could pick up from Carlisle was that it was totally out of character for Esme to pick a home like this one. He didn't disapprove, in fact, he loved it and I completely trusted her judgment.

I pulled up in front of the garage, got out and pulled out the Vanquish, then parked the Volvo in its place. I walked up to the house and went inside, searching with my mind for my family.

"I'm home!"

'_We're in our room! I'll be ready in a few minutes!' _Esme's thought came to me from upstairs.

"Hey Edward." Jasper replied but I didn't hear Alice anywhere, not even her thoughts.

"Where's Alice?" I asked as I climbed the stairs reaching her bedroom door in just seconds. Jasper was standing against the doorframe waiting for me.

"She's out shopping, ya know, looking at wedding stuff." Jasper shook his head. "I swear she's more excited about it than anyone else."

"Only the shopping part, I'm sure." This was something I would need to put a stop to before she went overboard.

"Well, sure! What else is there?" Jasper was thinking only of Alice's obsession with shopping when he must have felt the waves of excitement and desire coming from me the second the words lift his mouth, "Well there's that too!" A huge grin spread across his face. "Damn Edward! You had better rein that in if you expect to make it all the way to the wedding. Ha! You know that always feels kinda strange coming from you. Man, and you thought Emmett and I were animals!" I felt a devilish smile creep onto my lips before turning away from him.

"Esme, are you ready yet?" I asked as I stood at her bedroom door.

'_Yes, I'll be right there.'_ Her thought sounded hurried then I heard the reason why as I caught whispering voices on the other side of the door.

"Edward's waiting! I need to get up!"

"He can wait. Please?"

"Sorry, I'm already dressed."

"Well, I can fix that."

I stepped back from the door as the sound of laughter and footsteps came racing toward it. Turning quickly, I ran up to my room and grabbed the bag of clothes I had packed after hunting last night. When I heard Carlisle and Esme out in the hall going down stairs I ran back down to find them standing near the front door locked in a passionate embrace. Where Esme looked perfect, Carlisle was shirtless, barefooted and in the only pair of faded jeans that he owned. It had been a while since I had seen his hair such a mess.

I closed my mind off to their intimate thoughts and quickly slipped past them and out the front door. Witnessing my family sharing affection didn't seem to bother me as it had so often in the past. I no longer felt as if I were intruding. It felt normal …it felt natural.

xxX0Xxx

Esme and I had arrived in Seattle in a little under three hours. I pulled up to the building where one of our companies, Pacific Northwest Trust, had its offices. We parked in the covered garage located next to the building and rode the elevator up to the seventh floor then headed down the hall. I had been here many times in the past. Only a few people ever really worked out of this office and the turn over rate for receptionists was pretty high, we never kept anyone on longer than two years. It was basically an investment house with almost all transactions done through computers. However, it had been used many times to send and receive packages, which was why I was there.

"Hi, can I help you?" A very nice looking redheaded woman was seated behind the massive antique oak desk. '_Well, aren't you one of the most gorgeous guys I have ever seen?'_ Her eyes flicked over to Esme. '_Oh my gosh! She's absolutely beautiful!'_

"Yes, I'm Anthony Masen, you have a package for me." Her eyes lit up at the mention of my name. '_Oh my God! This is Anthony Masen?'_

I was use to her reaction. No matter what name I came in here with, they were always familiar with it. As far as they were concerned there were over one hundred people who owned accounts with this company, all of them belonging to our family.

"Of course Mr. Masen. Do you have your key?" She asked almost breathlessly as she stood, smoothing her dress with slightly trembling hands.

"Yes, I do." I opened my hand and showed her the key to my lock-box.

"Wonderful. Please follow me." She turned and walked down the hall that was located behind her desk as Esme and I followed. We followed her into a room where plush leather chairs surrounded a large mahogany table. The receptionist unlocked a small panel on the wall that covered a keypad. I stepped forward and entered a code into it. The dark paneled wall next to us moved back and slid away revealing rows of hidden lock-boxes.

"There you are, Mr. Masen." She suddenly felt the creeping fear all humans felt when too close to us, she stepped away toward the door, then turned and left us alone in the room.

I smiled, looked at Esme then placed my key into the lock under the box marked 'A. Masen' and turned it to the right, opened the door that held the lock-box inside and pulled it out. Flipping it open, I found a small padded manila envelope, which contained and very small box inside. I slid the lock-box back into its slot, closed the door and re-entered the code on the keypad, then stepped over to the table as the paneled wall slid back into place.

"Well, let's see it!" Esme didn't even try to hide her excitement.

I had the most curious feeling stirring within me, I was nervous! I looked back at Esme. Her face was almost glowing in happiness.

She nodded. '_Go ahead Edward, open it.'_

I ripped the top of the padded envelope off, reached in and pulled the box from inside. There was also a folded piece of linen paper enclosed that came out onto the table. Picking it up, I unfolded it.

_Dear Mr. Masen,_

_Enclosed you will find the wedding set you purchased through our estate. This set was designed and custom made by my great uncle in 1901. Each gem holds its own special symbolism and was one of his personal favorites. I trust you will find it as beautiful and unique as you had hoped. _

_Sincerely,_

_M. Castellani _

I set the letter down on the table and grasp the top of the little silver box slowly lifting it open.

"Oh my God Edward! It's stunning!" Esme's sentiments were almost breathless and echoed my own feelings.

It was stunning.

Inside the small box, a one-carat diamond flashed the colors of the rainbow out into the room from a strikingly delicate looking platinum engagement ring that was surrounded by two bands, one on each side. One band was set with rubies and the other was set with emeralds. I had picked these precious gems out long before I had found the ring.

Each gem held a special meaning down through time and I wanted the ring I presented to Bella to convey all the feelings I held for her. I closed the box and placed it back inside the envelope along with the letter. Esme took my arm and kissed my cheek.

"I know what you're thinking. Don't worry so much." Her voice was so very understanding, "Bella will love it, Edward."

"I hope so." I sighed, "I would like to give it to her with her parents present. It would be something for them to remember."

"That sounds wonderful Edward. I'll call Carlisle and have him set it up."

xxX0Xxx

Any long trip with Esme along always seemed to pass in less than half the time due to Esme's none stop talking. I never found her annoying in any way, in fact I loved to listen to her for hours on end. She always had a million plans she couldn't wait to put into action. For as long as she had been with Carlisle, she had never been one for sitting idly by without doing something. She also had the patience of a saint and the passion of an artist.

Esme was also not one to tolerate my 'recklessly fast driving' so I kept my speeding to a minimum and we still reached Denali within record time. She enjoyed the scenery too much to have it all pass by so quickly. She gave me directions to our new home as each road came up. After we left the main highway, the roads were mostly unpaved so I was forced to slow way down. Soon she directed me to turn down a secluded dirt road that could only be described as a path. So much of the area looked exactly like Forks, the immensely tall thick trees, the waist high ferns that would die back each winter and the ever present cloud cover and fog.

"How much farther, Esme?" I was beginning to wonder if this path would trickle down to just a trail soon.

"We've been on our property for five minutes now." She said with a twinkle in her amber eyes and grinning from ear to ear. '_I hope you like it!'_

"Well, that's nice. So where's the house in all of this property?" And just as the words left my mouth, I saw it. "My God Esme! What is it, a ski lodge?" It was huge! All dark wooden beams and stone with either side of the house having large picture windows, which were presently covered with wooden shudders.

"It was used as a hunting lodge actually, '_among other things_.' Some corporate CEO owned it until he was thrown in prison for embezzling funds so you can imagine I got a really good deal." She was almost bouncing off her seat in excitement. I pulled up to the front of the lodge and we both climbed out of my car. I just stood there looking at the size of the thing.

"Well it's kind of a vacation home don't you think? I mean I've never bought anything like this before!" She started up the steps leading to the front doors. "Come on! Let me show you around!" She was almost giddy with happiness.

I followed her up to the huge double wooden front doors. Esme unlocked the door and I followed her inside. The doors opened up to a huge living room area. The floors were covered in flagstone. The ceiling was made up of dark wooden beams and the walls were covered in either wood or stone arrange in beautiful patterns. Directly in front of me across the room was a giant stone fireplace and on each side of it was a wall of glass. I could see how on a clear day the view would be fantastic. The seating area was sunken in with a plush custom-built dark brown leather sectional framing the fireplace. To the left and right were staircases leading up to the second floor where I could see four sets of double doors.

"There are four bedrooms up there." Esme pointed up at the doors. She began to walk to the left down a wide passageway. "Here's a bathroom." She flung open a door and then continued on. "And here's the kitchen." We came into an industrial size kitchen, all stainless steel, basically a useless room for us but nice that it was hidden off to the side. "Through there is a formal dining room." She pointed across the kitchen. "You can also get to it from the living room." Then she walked through another set of double doors, "Here's a pantry and down here is the wine cellar." We went down a very wide set of stairs. Esme pushed open a set of doors at the end and went straight through the huge cellar to the other side where she stopped at a stone covered wall.

"I found a room I don't think this CEO had meant for anyone to see." She had the most sinful smile on her face. She pushed on what looked like just another rock embedded in the wall but it gave and the entire wall slid aside. It was another huge empty room.

"So what did you find in here?" I peered around at the now empty room.

"Emmett and Rosalie's closet." We both broke out in a fit of laughter. "No really! I think it even had a few things they had never even tried!"

"That seems hard to believe!" I was having a hard time trying to imagine what she might have found down there but Esme thoughts were filling me in with details of contraptions I never even dreamt of.

"After I cleared it out, I figured it would be perfect for Alice and Jasper's computer activities, it even has all the connections already installed upstairs."

We went back up to the living room and she started the tour of the other side of the house. First, she took me into the enormous game room. There was a pool table and a ping-pong table, a bar we would never use and on one wall was a wall sized flat screen TV. All around were big leather wingback chairs, couches and loveseats. We left the game room and traveled farther down the hallway to another set of double doors. She stopped and stood back motioning to me to open the door.

"What's in here?" I asked a little intrigued.

"This bedroom belongs to you and Bella." She was filled with happiness at just the thought of Bella and I being together, sharing our lives with each other in this house, in this room. I grasped the doorknob, turned it and pushed.

The first thing I saw was the giant king size bed covered with dark royal blue silk sheets, stacks of big fluffy pillows with a matching down comforter folded down at the foot of the bed. The headboard of the bed was obviously an antique. It was massive piece of wooden furniture covered in beautiful ornate hand carved scrolls and designs. The floor in this room was hardwood covered with two large intricately patterned royal blue carpets.

Stepping farther into the room, I saw to my right was a set of mirrored closet doors that reflected the scenery outside of the windows. I slid one of the doors aside to find that the closet was actually almost as big as my bedroom in Forks. To the left were French doors that opened up to a very large bathroom that contained double sinks and a private area for the toilet. To the right was a large window with a beautiful view from a private patio and a spa tub more than big enough for two people. On the left side of the bathroom was a glass enclosed shower that at least four people could shower comfortably in with shower sprays coming out from all angles and heights from the walls and ceiling.

I turned and looked at Esme. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather have this for you and Carlisle? It is the master bedroom isn't it?"

"No. I want you to share it with Bella. Besides the bedrooms, upstairs are almost as big and since there's one extra, Carlisle and I can share it as an office. Besides, where else would you put your piano?" There was definitely plenty of room for a piano in this room.

"I love it Esme!" I grabbed her in my arms and swung her around, "It's absolutely perfect!"

After we changed into fresh clothing, locked up the house and the immense garage we literally ran into town and caught a ride in a private plane to Fairbanks. From Fairbanks, we caught an Alaska Airlines flight to Seattle where Carlisle and Alice met us when we arrived.

Carlisle and Esme let me drive so they could sit in the back seat together on the way home. They sat cuddling each other just like two love struck teenagers, much like Bella and I.

"I'm ninety-nine percent sure that your wedding should be during the next new moon." Alice was usually not far off about these types of things.

"That's great. The sooner the better." That meant it would only be twelve more days. "I sure hope you haven't planned anything without asking me first. What I mean is, I think Bella really wants to keep this private, you now, just the family."

"Of course Edward. I haven't planned a thing. It's your wedding." She looked over at me then, "But could I make a few suggestions?"

I rolled my eyes at her knowing what was coming. "What if I said 'no'?"

'_I'll make them anyway!' _She smiled wickedly crossing her delicate arms over herself. '_They are nothing but suggestions!'_

"Well, no decisions will be made until we talk it over with Bella, understand?"

"Absolutely!"

For the next day and a half, Alice rarely let up on the amount of suggestions she was willing to throw out for my approval. Even when I went out to hunt, she came along and the distraction was almost more than I could stand even though I did control my venom much better with my first kill this time.

The seemingly endless waiting was almost unbearable. My family tried to distract me as best they could to help the minutes pass quickly. I sat, I stood, I paced, I even went out and ran just trying to release some of my pent up anxious energy. I pulled the little silver box from my pocket and looked at it over a hundred times. My stomach twisted constantly even though there was no way I could possibly be thirsty.

My family was more than relieved when the time to meet Bella and her parents in Port Angeles came near. They were all seated in the living room when the time came for me to leave. As I walked towards the front door Esme jumped from the couch and came over to hug me.

"Everything will be fine." She kissed my cheek, "She'll love it."

"Thanks." I turned and took hold of the door handle. "Alice?" I looked over at her hoping she would give me even the slightest hint of what to expect.

She turned on the couch and looked at me with a twinkle in her eyes. "Edward?"

'_Tell me something…anything. Please._'

She had very carefully and cleverly hidden her visions from me all day and each time I'd asked, she had explained it away by telling me I really did need to have some mystery in my life. I couldn't see the humor in it.

She shook her head at me, "Go on... have fun. She's waiting."

I drove to Port Angeles in record time even for me and sat outside the restaurant in my Volvo waiting for sunset before I could venture out of my car. Carlisle had set it up with Charlie so both he and Renée knew I would be coming to meet them and _what _I was bringing with me.

As soon as the sun was below the horizon, I opened the car door, stepped out on legs that felt as heavy as sandbags and headed to the restaurant. I could have followed her scent blind-folded from where I stood. When I pulled the door open, Bella's fragrance hit me as hard as it had the first time I met her. My mouth flooded with venom as her delicious smell filled my nose and flowed down the back of my parched throat.

'_Oh God! No! Please! This cannot be happening! Not now!'_

I turned and went right back out the door. I paced back and forth in front of the restaurant clearing my head of thoughts I had not anticipated would come to me after being away from Bella for three days. If her parents saw what I was doing, they would probably think I was just anxious, which was also very true. I was sure I was displaying all the symptoms of a completely over-the-edge nervous suitor.

'_Calm down. Go slow. It's Bella. I can do this. My body will remember. Just go slow.'_

I breathed in and out slowly calming the bloodthirsty monster inside. I was still catching her fragrance and my body soaked it in and remembered. I went back to the door and slowly pulled it open. I stood for a moment breathing in the scent I needed to get used to all over again. Soon a hostess came to the door and I explained I was meeting someone and already knew where they were seated.

I followed the musical thoughts of my beloved straight to their table out on the patio overlooking the bay. She was wondering why Charlie and Renée seemed so happy. She knew they were up to something she just didn't have a clue as to what it was.

I didn't hesitate, I couldn't and at this point, I didn't dare. Just one moment of hesitation and I would be lost. I was more nervous than I could possibly imagine. I clutched at the small box in my pocket trying not to crush the silver ribbon Esme had tied around it. I could hardly think straight. If I were still human, I would have been hyperventilating at that point but, being a vampire, all I could do was hold my breath.

_Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!_


	12. Chapter 12 Promises of Eternity

Chapter Twelve

Promises of Eternity

I blocked out all the thoughts in the restaurant except Bella's, hers thoughts always seeped in unless I concentrated hard enough to close her out. But right then, I wanted to hear them, feel her precious thoughts as they passed through my mind and soaked into my body like waves of warm water caressing my stone cold skin. Why or how it came to be, I might never know. Carlisle had been through almost all of his ancient books trying to find some precedent for what had happened to Bella, but had come up empty so far. He could find no reference of a human being bitten once or even twice and surviving by having the venom removed. If it had happened before, it had never been recorded in any of his books.

Bella was facing the bay as I came toward her. Her silky mahogany hair flowed down her back and I longed to run my fingers through it, to hold her, to kiss her. Of all the smells that surrounded me, the food, the humans, the salty ocean air drifting in from the bay, Bella's sweet floral fragrance overpowered them all to the point that I could feel venom begin to coat my desert dry mouth.

_Stop breathing! _

My step faltered as I caught Charlie and Renée's eyes in the seconds before I reached their table. They both did very well concealing the fact that I had arrived, giving me only the slightest of smiles.

Reach out, I placed my hands on Bella's small bare shoulders, leaned over and kissed her warm velvety cheek. A deep wave of longing flowed through my body. An overwhelming desire for her filled me and washed away the thirst for her blood that I had experienced when I had caught her scent.

"Edward!" Her voice had improved, somewhat, but was still not much more than a hissing squeak.

_God, she is so beautiful!_ "I've missed you." I was so staggered by her it was all I could manage to say. And I did miss her very much. I not only missed her and every little wonderful and quirky thing about her, but also the way I felt when I was near her, almost human. I slowly and carefully pressed my mouth to her warm lips, all the while wishing I could pull her into my arms and cover her face, neck and shoulders with kisses.

_Oh Edward! You're so… beautiful! Your eyes are so…your skin… oh…my God… I'm going home and… oh yeah! Look what you do to me! Will I ever stop blushing?_

Bella's heart was racing and her face filled with color that pulsed into her cheeks then slowly crept down her neck. I watched as the rosy shade of pink burst forth after she had imagined us lying in her bed together later that evening. I couldn't keep the smile I was already wearing from getting wider as I took in every detail of her angelic face. My eyes drifted down her slender neck to rest upon her fading bruises. Only the barest yellow marked the places where Victoria's fingers had wrapped around her, broken up only by the four jagged claw marks on the left side of her neck. They too were healing, as was the bite mark on her right wrist. A flicker of anger sparked in my brain, but I pushed it aside – it was over…Victoria was dead and this was not the time to dwell on the past when my future sat gazing lovingly into my eyes.

I finally dragged my gaze from her as I moved from behind her chair to stand in front of her.

"Hi Charlie, Renée." I swiftly glanced at her parents as I knelt down on one knee in front of Bella. They both smiled and I heard Renée gasp slightly. I didn't dare open my mind to their thoughts. I needed to stay focused on Bella or risk losing my nerve.

My mouth suddenly felt so dry I was almost afraid to speak.

_Oh God. I can do this._

"I have something for you." I pulled the box from my pocket and held it out to her in the palm of my hand.

_Edward, what have you done? _She was still smiling so that seemed to be a good sign. She hesitantly took the box from my hand.

"Open it." _Please Bella, please don't get upset. Just take it, please. Do it for them. You can give it back later. Just… Please._ I watched as she pulled the ribbon off then slowly opened the box.

_Oh Edward! _

Even her thought felt like a trembling whisper. I saw her dark eyes begin to sparkle with tears, but luckily they were tears of joy. I had fully expected to hear displeasure and irritation in the tone of her thoughts, but she was truly happy.

_Oh Edward, it's so beautiful! _She looked over at her parents, who were both wearing almost comical matching grins, then back to me.

_They knew about this, didn't they? You planned this. _Her tears began to flow a little faster_. Thank you… thank you for giving them this memory. I know it means a lot to them._

"Do you like it?" Even though I already knew the answer, I had to ask anyway.

_Oh Edward!_ She nodded her head and I could not have imagined a more radiant smile. Her arms flew around my neck and she squeezed me with all her human strength before releasing me and wiping the tears from her face with her free hand.

I looked into her eyes, "Bella, I looked for a long time before I found exactly what I wanted to give you. I picked this ring because it symbolizes all that I feel for you." I took the small box from her hand, removed the diamond engagement ring from the center, placed the box back in my pocket and took her left hand in mine. "Bella, I will love you forever." I slipped the ring onto her finger and it slid on with ease. Then, I brought her delicate hand to my mouth and kissed it as I breathed her in once more.

As I held her hand she leaned forward and pressed her moist lips to mine_. Do you have any idea how much I love you? _I could have just sat there and gazed at her for hours. In all my lonely years I never knew this kind of love existed and now that I had it, I would never let go.

"Yes, I do." Then she hugged me fiercely and the power of her next thought hit me like a waterfall crashing over the edge of a cliff, as if all her deepest desires were packed into one urgent request.

_Please take me home!_ Then she backed away with the most sensual smile on her face. I had to fight the urge to lift her from her chair and run at vampire speed from the restaurant just to get her alone again, lay with her, cover her with my body and kiss her until the sun came up tomorrow. Luckily, I was yanked from my wistful thoughts by Renée's excited voice.

"Oh, Edward! This is such a beautiful ring!" She had taken Bella's hand admiring it. "It looks like an antique. Where did you find such a ring? What an usual style."

"It is an antique. It was made in 1901." The relief I felt now that Bella had reacted favorably to my gift was immeasurable. I had to concentrate on breathing normally and couldn't help but smile, briefly flashing my teeth at my only love as a promise, "The style is called 'Edwardian'."

_Of course, the year you were born. _Bella understood then whispered, "It's perfect." _Just like you_.

We headed out to my Volvo after Bella had said good-bye to her mother. Her thoughts were an echo of mine and it felt so wonderful to hear them again that I purposely walked at a slow human pace, which drove Bella mad with anticipation. After my discussion with Carlisle on what might be safe to share I was more than ready to get her home. I opened her door and as soon as she sat down, I closed it and I sped around to my side of the car a little faster than I should, but I was sure no one saw me.

Leaning over, I slowly ran my cold fingers across her cheek and under her chin. It was the same gesture of affection I had given her the first time I touched at school, though her reaction to my gentle touch was completely different then … In the beginning, this small stroke of my hand had dazzled her to the point where she could barely stumble into her classroom. Now, my every touch encouraged her to show more of herself, more of her true feelings with only the smallest amount of restraint. Her hand came around my neck pulling me to her waiting mouth and kissed me so passionately, a tingling sensation raced through me in an instant. I held my breath but didn't pull away from her, letting her kiss me as long as she needed to, as hard as she wanted. When she finally broke from our kiss she was flushed and slightly out of breath.

"You really missed me, didn't you?" If this had been her response the first time I touched her, I wouldn't have been able to control myself, I would have taken her right then. But I had months of practice denying my inner monster and had indeed developed an enormous amount of self-control.

_You have no idea. Well, maybe some idea. _Then she kissed me again and again and I let her continue while I enjoyed every second of it. So what if some one saw us? At this point it didn't matter anymore. Then a request that was so playful, and yet so sexy flowed into me and I was stunned by its intensity.

_Please stay with me tonight. _Bella was giving me that look again, as if she needed to play coy with me.

Of course I would! I didn't plan on ever spending another night without her. I smiled and placed my fingertip next to my now light honey-colored eye. "That was the plan. Just three days away from your scent and it still hit me like the first time I smelled you. With all the hunting I did and still I could eat you up right now." A teasing growl escaped from somewhere deep inside of me. I did want to eat her up. In more ways than one. I wanted to taste as much of her soft delicious human skin that she would allow. According to Carlisle, with what I was about to try, I would share something extremely sensual with her and I knew the smile on my face was nothing short of sinful.

Startled by my growl, Bella quickly moved back into her seat and against the door. Her eyes wide.

_Did I frighten you? You've heard me growl before. _But then, her sweet soft musical thought poured into me and I was pleasantly surprised.

_Please don't take this the wrong way, but I really want to enjoy you, this way, you know, my still being human and all, just one more night, okay?_

"Well, I'm afraid it will be a little longer than that." _She doesn't know yet. I wonder if having to wait a few more days will upset her?_ I started the car and backed out into the street. Bella shifted in her seat and leaned into my side as I told her about the vision Alice had concerning our wedding. The only detail Alice would volunteer was that Bella would still be human.

If Alice had already seen it, Bella knew that a date was already set and was completely content in knowing that we would get married at twilight in less than two weeks time. She did seem just a little perturbed at knowing she would still be human, but after realizing I could not be persuaded to turn her before the wedding, she accepted it.

"The three days of your change will pass before you know it and then I promise to make it all up to you." It felt so right having Bella's body next to mine. During the past three days without her, I felt as if a part of me was missing and now I felt whole again with her at my side.

She looked up at me and her happiness was unmistakable.

_Try it. Do it now._ I thought, pulling her tighter as I readied myself for her reaction. Anticipation tingled within me. Leaning over, I stroked her deliciously warm cheek full and long with my icy tongue. I was sure it must have felt as if I had placed an ice cube against her heated skin. I closed my eyes the second my tongue touched her. The taste of her skin was absolutely divine. Her flavor was more delectable than I had ever imagined. I wanted to savor her, to lick her greedily all over.

In those few seconds I realized that I could no longer hear her breathing or her heart beating. My eyes flashed open to see the look of surprise on her ashen face. Her eyes were completely dilated as she stared at me and her flesh was covered in a thin sheen of perspiration. Then suddenly she collapsed against her door with a slight smile on her lips.

_Ah… Please! Come on! Bella! What happened? Come on honey!_

I slammed on the brakes never taking my eyes from her. It looked as if every muscle in her entire body was slightly twitching under her pale skin. I took her wrist and checked her pulse, it was a little low for her but not bad. Her breathing was still a little shallow and ragged though.

_Damn! She fainted! _I was so relieved. _Thank God that's all it was! But… that was the safest thing I could possibly do! This is unbelievable!_ I couldn't help but laugh at the unexpected situation.

Pulling out my cell phone, I punched in Carlisle's number and he picked up after only one ring.

"Edward! How did it go?" I could tell he had already put me on speakerphone by the hushed voices in the background. "Did you give her the ring yet?"

"She fainted!" The whisperings in the room went utterly silent.

"She fainted?"

Suddenly laughter exploded in the background.

"She fainted when you gave her the ring?" Esme's voice was concerned, but still on the edge of laughing.

"I never saw that!" Alice was talking to the rest of my family, "No really! I never saw that!"

"No! She fainted when I licked her cheek!" There was complete silence on the other end of the phone.

"You did what?"

"Alice shush! He licked her cheek. Edward are you sure she only fainted?" Carlisle's voice was serious, "Are you sure she didn't have a seizure of some kind?"

"No, she didn't have a seizure. She has all the classic signs of fainting, dilated pupils, paler than normal skin. I know the symptoms as well as you, but she seems to be trembling all over. It's not really trembling, it's more like… tiny muscle spasms. That's why I called. It's beginning to slow now, but I didn't know if I should be concerned or not."

The background laughter had quieted for a moment but now burst back to life as if I had just said the funniest thing they ever heard.

"What the hell is so funny?" I growled into the phone fighting my own amusement.

"Man! Don't you know what you did to her?" Jasper's voice was barely recognizable through his uproarious laughter.

"How long has she been out?" Carlisle was even fighting to stay in control.

"About two minutes now, but her heart rate and breathing seem to be back to normal."

"Don't worry. She'll be fine." The laughter in the room was settling down now.

"Carlisle, did I hurt her?" My eyes had never left her. She certainly didn't look as if she were in any pain.

"No, no, not at all! Actually… I think you'll find when she comes to that she enjoyed it very much. But, I'm not sure you should try anything else for a while. What about you? Are you doing okay?"

"Don't worry, Carlisle, I'm perfectly in control."

The laughter started up again and I doubted that they even noticed when I hung up.

Bella's eyes began to flutter and then opened fully to see my face within inches of hers.

_Oh my God! What happened? Why did I black out! Did you… bite me? I don't feel the burning anywhere_. She was disoriented for only a couple of seconds then her thoughts changed as she began to relax and concentrate on how she really felt. A curious smile spread on her face. _What ever you did actually felt very…nice… except this twitching thing. Well… that feels good too in a weird sort of way. But, God, I feel like I just ran a marathon!_

I couldn't help but laugh. _Okay, So she did enjoy it!_ "Bella! You are unbelievable!" She looked at me, confusion written all over her face. "Bella, you fainted!"

"Well, you never did that before! I thought tongue things were off limits!" Her voice was just so many squeaks and hisses, but I understood what she was trying to say and the manner in which she meant it. Still, in the back of her mind she was hoping I would do it again. I thoroughly enjoyed it and if she was willing to risk fainting again, I was more than willing to give it another try. However, I needed to wait until I got her home first. Home and preferably lying down. I pulled back onto the road and being extremely anxious to get Bella home and lying in my arms again, I quickly brought my Volvo up to speed.

Bella played with her engagement ring most of the drive home. Twirling it on her finger, touching it, studying it. It was hard to believe that I had been so nervous over something so small. But then again, it basically told the story of my love for her. She listened attentively as I explained the meaning each precious gem held throughout time and how they applied to our relationship. Diamonds for eternal love, fearlessness and invincibility. Emeralds for faithfulness, devotion and rebirth. And rubies for eternal passion and the never-ending promise of my heart.

All of these things humans found romantic, but the passion of human romances soon faded over time. Vampire memories and feelings never faded away. We could remember each second of our existence with perfect clarity. For us, love and desire never faded into something more… comfortable. Our feelings for one another lasted forever unless we were betrayed in some way. My family was proof that once your perfect match has been found, love and passion only grow stronger and more intense with each passing dawn.

Although Bella was strongly against any engagement ring when I had first ask her to marry me, I could tell that with this ring I had touched something deep inside of her. She understood the true meanings behind my gift. When I felt her warm wet tears soak through the fabric of my shirt I knew then that I had once again done something to cause her to cry. I slowly and gently moved my hand up and down her side feeling the gentle curves of her body under my fingers. She didn't need me to sooth her, she was crying because she was so overwhelmed with happiness.

I wanted nothing more at that moment than to stop the car and kiss the tears from her face. Lick the wetness from my lips, taste her essence, but… that wouldn't be a good idea in the car. Her scent had already saturated the air in the enclosed space and I found myself holding my breath in order to clear my head of thoughts and actions I was not prepared to follow through with… at least until after we were married.

I focused instead on Bella's rambling thoughts and just let them calm my desires as they flowed gently into me, strengthening me, reassuring me of her unwavering love. It was amusing to hear how truly preoccupied she was with me. It bordered on total obsession, something I knew about all too well.

I heard her thoughts shift suddenly as we pulled up in front of her house. The melodic waves that had been there just seconds before were now dark and depressing. She was looking out at her house and wondering what in the world I ever saw in her, a plain, ordinary human girl! I wanted to laugh as I came around the car to let her out.

_She still doesn't get it! She refuses to see herself the way I see her._

_How stupid could I be to think I deserve such happiness? To think I deserve Edward's attention? _She glanced nervously at her ring almost as if she didn't believe I had really given it to her.

I pulled her from the car. "Stop that!" Shutting the door behind her, I pushed her against the car, covering her body with mine while lacing my hands through her silky hair and softly stroking her cheeks with my thumbs.

_Oh Bella. What can I do to help you understand all that you are to me? I love you more than any words can possibly ever say._

Her face was so sad. I could feel how much she was fighting to keep tears from filling her deep brown eyes again. She wanted to believe I loved her. She wanted to believe it with all her heart, but doubts filled her head. Doubts that she had hidden from me somehow. I needed her to believe in herself. _How could this glorious angel not see what she does to me? How the power of her love has taken me, an almost invincible, selfish, bloodthirsty creature of myth, folklore and legend, and reduced me to nothing more than a lovesick puppy?_

"You are the most beautiful person I have ever known. You are also much too brave and compassionate for your own good. You _never_ think of yourself first which, has put you in the most unbelievable danger." _Oh Bella, I'm so sorry_, "If anyone here has behaved stupidly, it's me." I gazed into the dark depths of her chocolate colored eyes. I could never repair the damage I did by running away from her, but I had to try. Leaning closer to her, my lips only a fraction of an inch from hers. "I know you never planned to reveal the pain I put you through and, oh, how I wish I could take it all back. I wish there was something I could do to help you understand, I never meant any of that to happen."

Her eyes were pleading as she looked at me. "There is…" Her lips barely touched mine, her warm sweet breath blew full into my mouth feeding the slow burning fire in my throat. "Share yourself only with me… forever." Tears spilled over the edges of her sparkling eyes. She knew exactly what she was asking for.

_Is she really asking me to turn her now? Does she have any idea how close I am to giving in to her? My family would completely understand but… what about Charlie? No, it's not time. Somehow, someway, she needs to say good-bye. I can wait until then._

"Forever and ever." It was a promise I would never break. Changing her at that moment was not part of the plan. We couldn't allow ourselves to get carried away in the heat of passion. After our wedding, Bella would become the only lover I would ever know. We would belong to each other forever and I would never share myself with another. The few days before our wedding would amount to less than seconds in time with eternity laid out in front of us.

But for now, I could share this little bit of pleasure with her. I brushed a kiss against her lips then moved down to her soft neck, breathing her fragrant perfume into my burning lungs. Exhaling through my opened mouth, I felt her body tremble with excitement. I was ready to taste her again. And, she was willing and waiting for me to do just that. She was so trusting, so totally venerable.

_Just a taste. And nothing more._

After I had gained my resolve, I slowly ran my tongue over her tender sweet skin, pausing for only a second as I felt her frantic heart pound blood thick and heavy through her jugular vein. Her blood was so close I could almost taste it already. Suddenly, I felt Bella begin to collapse in my arms.

_Oh no! Not again! Come on Bella… Breathe, honey, breathe!_

She had stopped breathing again, but as soon as I pulled my tongue from her neck she gasped and was able to stay cognizant. She tried to inhale slow deep breaths while her body trembled and quaked from the reaction I had caused. Grabbing at my shoulders, she was fighting to keep her body upright. I could feel her heart racing and muscles twitching everywhere our bodies were touching. For some strange, but wonderful reason, the pleasure Bella was experiencing hit me in waves. My muscles began to twitch in rhythm with hers. Her scent was so intense, it became much more than I could possibly take and I knew I needed to stop, right then.

Holding my breath, I watched her carefully as she fought to stay coherent. Finally she caught her breath enough to speak.

"I don't know what you're doing to me or if it is even safe buy it feels really good!" She could barely whisper through each inhale she took. Fighting the overwhelming urge to burst out laughing, I inhaled only enough to speak.

"Carlisle assured me this was safe so long as you didn't have any open wounds, but I was beginning to wonder since you fainted the first time."

I pushed back from the car needing to put some space between us for a few moments though I never took my eyes from her. I was afraid she might lose her fight for consciousness and I needed to be ready to catch her if she fell. She took a wobbly step away from the car.

"Do you think you can walk or should I carry you?" Holding out my hand out to her, she took it gratefully, but refused my offer to carry her. When I had regained my control, I cautiously took in a small breath and found that Bella's scent had faded to a degree that was much easier to handle.

She was glad to be home and her thoughts drifted up to her room.

_Oh to sleep in my own bed for a change. But not right now... I'm not going anywhere near that bed yet. I don't feel tired anyway. That's so weird though. I've gotten like eighteen hours sleep in the last five nights… maybe. Sleeping alone obviously doesn't agree with me anymore._

She looked up at me with a sensuous smile. _Edward. There is no way I'm sleeping tonight. _

_Well, unfortunately for you Bella, I will not be laying my tongue against your tender skin for the rest of the night either. I have indulged both of us far too much as it is._

Unlocking the door, I let Bella walk ahead of me into the dark house. I could see her clearly as she reached for the light switch that was inches from her. Taking her hand in mine, I pulled her into my arms as I closed the door behind us, knowing she couldn't see me here in darkness of her living room, but she could feel me just the same. Leaning down, I kissed the hollow space at the base of her throat and then, just breathed her in. Her entire body was tense, waiting for me to lay my tongue on her again.

_No fair teasing… Edward!_

"Ahh… freesias and…something… more."

_Edward?… His eyes! I need to see his eyes!… Edward?_

Her heart began to pick up speed, she struggled for air, sucking in great gasps. As I inhaled one more breath next to her skin, her scent changed.

_Oh Bella… you really are human._ "…something… more." _Oh my dear sweet Bella! _

She was scared…and not just scared but, scared of me. Scared that we had just crossed over the boundary line I had so carefully drawn early in our relationship. We had pushed at it, but never crossed it. I still retained my well-practiced self-discipline and was far from giving into my desires.

"I'm perfectly in control, Bella." Reaching over, I flicked on the light. She blinked trying to focus in the light of her living room. I looked into her eyes knowing that mine were still the same light amber they had been all evening. "I think I'll let you calm down before you fall down." I said with a chuckle, "Carlisle and Charlie will be quite upset with me if I cause you to end up back in the hospital tonight." Sliding one arm behind her back and the other behind her knees, I lifted her easily and carried her over to the couch sitting down with her in my lap, smiling and just barely breathing.

Bella was still trying to calm down from throwing herself into such a state of near panic.

I had just come to the conclusion that even though, through some unknown reason, Bella's thoughts were open to me, she was still an absolute mystery. I couldn't deny that hearing her thoughts was the most wonderful thing to ever come about from almost losing her to another vampire again. The way her thoughts made me feel was indescribable. Her love, devotion, passion and desire filled every cell of my body, completing me in ways I never thought possible. If the link between our minds were suddenly severed, I would miss hearing her, but I would never forget the way she made me feel.

I wondered aloud to Bella why, when her feelings, her emotions, her thoughts were so strong, why was it that could I never hear them before? What has changed within her that made it possible for me to feel her emotions sometimes? The only thing that was different about her was that a trace amount of Victoria's venom had stayed in her blood stream. Without hearing her thoughts I don't think I would ever had the courage to attempt to share more than a kiss.

This revelation startled Bella. Yes, I was sharing something of myself with her.

_Edward, Esme told me about what would happen if you shared yourself with me…_

"I know. I know exactly what you discussed with Esme." When I arrived at the hospital after the incident with Jacob, Esme had not only told me what took place, she also managed to calm herself enough to relate the entire conversation regarding the detailed description of love-making, vampire style. Esme made it sound much more pleasurable, so much more enjoyable and romantic as opposed to Carlisle's somewhat clinical male version. "And, as you know I have also talked to Carlisle about what to expect. We discussed what I can and cannot share with you while you're still human. What should be safe and what could possibly cause me to lose control."

I held Bella with my gaze. Her internal conflicts on whether or not we should be 'sharing' were actually quite serious. She craved much more than just a guarded kiss now and then. She trusted me to stay in control and was more than willing to let me continue sharing what little I could with her, but…. The question was how much could she handle before something not so pleasant happened?

I wasn't sure if she had realized that for just a moment, she had been afraid of me, and if she did, she pushed it away so quickly, as if denying it ever even happen. It didn't matter.

"I think it would be safer for you, considering your reactions, if we wait before I help you experience any other… emotions." I picked her up and set her down next to me.I had never meant to frighten her so, what little I had shared with her would be all for the rest of the evening.

"I only fainted once!" Bella's eyes were pleading, but it was her squeaky little voice that brought a smile to my face. "Come on! That's just not fair! You started it!" She thought I was teasing again and when I remained unmoved by her vocal outburst, she popped one off in her head. _This really sucks!_

_Isabella Swan!_

She left the couch and walked around toward the kitchen. I was all for letting her cool off, but she needed to know that I would not be persuaded to change my mind. I folded my arms across my chest and spoke out into the room.

"The only thing I think you'll be able to handle the rest of this night will be a plain old ordinary kiss." She immediately stepped up behind me and as I leaned my head back she placed her warm hands gently on either side of my cold face.

"Your kisses are never plain and they are certainly never old and they are as far from ordinary that any kiss could ever be." Her whispered words were the most sexy I had ever heard. Reaching my hand behind her neck, I pulled her down to my icy lips and kissed her long and soft until I could feel her trembling heart in my fingertips. Then, I released her.

She didn't really move for a second or two and when she did, it was only to fold her arms on the back of the couch and lay her head down, catching her breath

_I think you're right. I had better calm down before I fall down._

I reached over the back of the couch and swiftly pulled her over locking her in my embrace as I laid her body next to mine.

"I believe I'll let you calm down later." I said as I looked into the depths of her dark chocolate eyes. _Bella, how can I ever resist you?_ Slowly and deliberately, I covered her face in kisses until she her skin was burning from the blush that had blanketed her. Then, I shifted her body to cover mine. Unbuttoning the top three buttons of my shirt, she laid her now gloriously flushed cheek against my icy chest. My fingers traced across the small patch of skin on her back that was exposed between her blouse and the waistband of her pants.

_Oh Bella… this is definitely becoming my favorite position._

We stayed that way for the next two hours. I had fully expected Bella to fall asleep, but she never even yawned.

At 10:55 I heard Charlie's cruiser coming down the road to the house.

"Bella?"

"Hmmm?" She snuggled her head right up under my chin.

"Charlie's here, love."

_I know, I hear his car._ She lifted herself enough to kiss my neck, pressing herself against me in all the right places and sending little shivers of warmth down through my suddenly cold body, bringing to life the man inside of me.

_We really need to get off this couch._ Her thought a whisper that moved over my flesh tamping down the sudden need I had of her.

I moved swiftly, taking her hand as I brought her up with me from the couch and headed for the door. Even though we were officially engaged, I wasn't sure if I was allowed to stay later than eleven or not. Anyway, the sooner I left, the sooner I could climb through her window and lie next to her.

I opened the door just as Charlie drove up into the driveway and parked.

"Hi dad!" Bella whispered and waved.

"Hi Charlie."

"Hey kids. Don't be to long Bella." _My little girl. This is gonna take a bit to get used to._

"Okay."

"I won't keep her out here long, Charlie."

He went through the door leaving it open. I heard his footsteps going up the stairs and disappear into his room. Bella and I wrapped our arms around each other holding on as if we wouldn't see each other again for days instead of just minutes.

"I'll be right back, my love."

"Give me a few minutes, okay?" Her voice was a husky sensual whisper.

"Absolutely." I kissed her forehead and released her from my arms. She turned and I watched every little dancing step she took away from me into her house. It wasn't very often that I was privileged enough to just watch her move. Whenever we were together, we were practically joined at the hip the whole time if not joined in some other way. She turned to close the door and realized I was staring at her.

_Edward? What are you looking at? _A puzzled look was on her face.

I smiled knowing that I was totally giving myself away.

"I'm looking at you."

A shy smile appeared on her face as she understood I had been watching her every move. I could see her face light up, almost glowing there in the dark. Then, slowly, she closed the door.

I opened the door of my Volvo and began to get in. Then I felt it. Something was out there in the darkness. Watching. Waiting. Not close enough for me to make it out… but not a vampire either – that much I could sense.

Jacob Black.

Spying again. He seemed to have figured out that I was unable to hear his thoughts when he was in his werewolf form. But I could never believe he would harm Bella. Would he risk breaking the treaty for her? If she were a member of his tribe – yes. But she wasn't. Would he risk bringing the wrath of my family down on his tribe for an outsider? I didn't believe his pack would allow it. And without the support of his pack I doubted he would try to go it alone.

I slid into my car, closed the door, keyed the ignition and drove home.

xxX0Xxx

I took a different route back to Bella's house trying to pick up that odd feeling again. Though I wasn't afraid of his threats, I wouldn't try to confront Jacob Black on my own. I just wanted to know it was him. I stood across the street from Bella's house, hidden in the trees, trying to sense what I had felt before but it seemed to be gone.

Crossing the street, I climbed silently through Bella's window to find her laying on her side with her the corner of her sheet pulled carelessly over her mid-section. She had showered and her wet hair was brushed back from her face and neck. Her slender legs were completely exposed and even though I saw them everyday, they suddenly looked so much sexier on top of her bed. Her arms were bare with one following the curve of her waist down to her hip and the other hidden under her pillow with only her delicate hand peeking out the other side.

I could hear Charlie's slight snoring in the other bedroom so I pushed off my shoes and stretched my stone cold body out against Bella's warmth. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pulled her as close to me as possible as our legs intertwined and her hand came up to my face. She softly traced her fingers over my cheek and down my neck gazing into my eyes all the while as if she could lie there and just looked at me all night.

After a few hours passed I insisted she at least try to sleep, but she flat refused. She didn't seem tired in the least, but I wanted her rested for what I had planned for us later that morning. She claimed she wasn't sleepy and I couldn't fault her for wanting to spend every moment with me as I spent with her. But humans must sleep and until she was turned, there was no way around it. I eventually won out in the end and persuaded her by threatening to leave and let her sleep on her own.

She had finally closed her eyes and gave in to sleep just before 3am. Then fell into REM sleep amazingly fast. She was much more tired than she was willing to admit.

_To sleep, perchance to dream._

Since meeting Bella, for the first time in my existence, I was so thankful sleep was something that I never needed. I lived my dreams through Bella and sleep would only have taken me from her.

As she lay completely wrapped in my arms, her forehead pressed gently against mine, I patterned my breathing to coincide with her every breath and every cell of my body seemed to be saturated with her essence. I closed my eyes and pictured her in a silky white wedding gown, strapless and incredibly form fitting to each curve of her fragile figure. The man in me wanted her, ached for her. I could imagine leaning my head down to kiss her tender human lips for the last time, then kissing my way down to her slender neck, feeling the heat of her blood coursing through her veins. Then slowly and gently I would slip my razor sharp teeth through her skin. Her blood would fill my mouth with an amazing force. I would drink it greedily before forcing my deadly life-changing venom into her sweet body. As I pulled back from her, I would see a small stream of her rich thick blood trickling down her neck and as it touched the fabric of her wedding dress, it would bloom out into a burgundy red flower across her breast.

Bella moaned and shifted slightly in my embrace.

My eyes flashed opened. My mouth had filled with venom. I could almost taste her blood on my tongue. My muscles had tightened and I was squeezing Bella tightly enough to cause her to react in her sleep. I was also more aroused than I had ever been. I immediately turned my face from hers. Then, slowly removed myself from Bella's embrace without waking her and went over to stand with my head out the open window, breathing in the cool morning air until I calmed all the yearnings inside of me.

It wasn't just the thirst for her blood that I had imagined… I had imagined much, much more. I looked back at her lying alone in her bed. I wanted her, I needed her so badly in every way.

Slipping silently out of her window, I began the short run home to clear my head, change my clothes and pick up my car. As I ran, I recalled something she had thought earlier … _"I was hoping that since the circumstances have changed that all deals were off."_

Circumstances certainly had changed.

I now knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that Bella loved me and only me with her all of her heart. She fully understood how her life would change once I injected my venom into her blood stream and felt she was prepared for it. The only question left was, did I really need a piece of paper as proof of her commitment to me? Wasn't her promise, her vow to be mine forever all that I needed? Only then did I understand Carlisle's question, was eternity really not enough? I tried to reason it in my head but the only answer I could come up with was 'yes', eternity was more than enough.

18


	13. Chapter 13 A Moment in Time

_Circumstances certainly had changed. _

_I now knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that Bella loved me and only me with her all of her heart. She fully understood how her life would change once I injected my venom into her blood stream and felt she was prepared for it. The only question left was, did I really need a piece of paper as proof of her commitment to me? Wasn't her promise, her vow to be mine forever all that I needed? Only then did I understand Carlisle's question, was eternity really not enough? I tried to reason it in my head but the only answer I could come up with was 'yes', eternity was more than enough_.

Chapter Thirteen

A Moment in Time

I had opened my mind searching for my family as soon as I stepped onto the porch. The glow from the TV filled the front windows. I could hear the soft gentle thoughts of Esme and Carlisle. Alice and Jasper must have been in the living room watching a movie as Jasper was thinking there was nothing vaguely romantic about the civil war and Alice was just caught up in the relationships on the screen. I walked through the door and heard the actress' southern drawl as she proclaimed, 'I never loved him the way I love you!', then I headed straight for the stairs.

"Hey Edward." Jasper and Alice were stretched out on the couch. Jasper was lying against the back of the couch with Alice's small frame wrapped affectionately in his arms.

"Edward," Alice's voice was not much more than a menacing whisper. "What were you thinking?" _You called off the wedding didn't you? _

I stood on the stairs looking across the room into Alice's golden eyes as they reflected the glow of the TV screen. Why was she so bothered by my change of heart?

"I've decided to take Carlisle and Jasper's advice, if Bella would rather not have a wedding then it's not necessary. I haven't said anything to Bella yet, but the ultimate decision lies with her."

"When will you be giving Bella this choice?" Alice's whisper was harsh. She must have been mulling the change over and over for some reason that I couldn't seem to comprehend.

"This afternoon." I was still very puzzled. My eyebrows drew down as a possible reason for her attitude dawned on me, "Alice, are you questioning my motives?"

"I've seen your mind, Edward," She almost snarled.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I almost snarled back. I looked past her to Jasper, "Where is this coming from?" Jasper's answering thoughts and Alice's raised voice collided in my head.

"You're doing it again! You're dwelling on her blood, Edward!"

_I'm not sure, she hasn't been able to see anything yet and it's driving her a little crazy._

Jasper wrapped Alice tighter in his arms and placed a kiss on her neck, concentrating only on her, calming her mood. I stood motionless for a moment waiting for Jasper's power to take effect on her.

Alice's thoughts became a silky whisper as she began to give in and fall under Jasper's spell.

_Yes, Edward, I was beginning to wonder about your motives… again. _Her eyes slipped shut. _Please, Edward, please don't get carried away with what you attempt to share with her. I don't mean to question your self-control… I'm just asking that you… be careful. _

She paused. Though she knew Jasper was causing her change in mood, she willingly gave in completely. Somewhere in her mind she tried to collect her thoughts.

"What have you seen? Has this one decision of mine changed the future so drastically?"

_I don't know_… "Nothing."… _I just… don't… know – I can't see it – I tried but it's just… a fog. Why? If I…"_If I show you the wedding I've seen, would you consider going on with your original plan?" Alice was grasping at straws. If she hadn't seen anything why was she trying so hard to change a decision that wasn't even set yet?

"Alice," I shook my head and smiled at her effort, "Probably not … I want this to be Bella's choice, I'll still leave it up to her but…."

Alice smiled and closed her eyes again as Jasper continued to hold her close, controlling the unpleasant mood that seemed to have consumed her since she first realized I had changed my mind, which, was only about 15 minutes ago.

I began to see the still photographs of what would have been our wedding night flash in my mind from Alice's point of view. From the first time she had seen it, she had kept it well hidden from me, never giving me even a glimpse of what could possibly happen. But here it was flashing so quickly in my mind, and I took in the detail of every image.

I could see a bridge, the Golden Gate Bridge, lit up in the distance. _San Francisco?_ The sun had gone down within the last hour and only the brightest stars had peeked out in the sky. We were high above the city in a wooded area that looked out over the bay. My family surrounded us, even Emmett and Rosalie were there. The only other person in attendance was a stranger who stood facing Bella and I. Bella was breathtaking in a simple white wedding dress, no angel from Heaven could have compared to her beauty. My stomach twisted in a familiar way as I looked upon her soft bare shoulders and neck.

_Strapless, just as I imagined._

I let out a sigh when the images came to an end. "Thank you."

A wistful smile came to Alice's lips. Jasper caught my eye then.

_Do what you need to Edward. Whatever Bella decides will be what's best for you and her. _

I nodded to him and turned to go up the stairs. Before I stepped through my bedroom door I caught a portion of Alice and Jasper's whispered conversation.

"You can't blame him for what you're unable to see."

"I know. It's just so disconcerting to see… nothing! No, there is something there, it's like I'm looking into a fog. I see them in the meadow and they seem so happy and then it just clouds over. I can't see into it or past it anymore – as if their future hinges on that one moment in time."

"You can't expect to see every moment in time. He loves her, Alice. I can't believe he would ever hurt her or allow her to be hurt by someone else."

It was strange that she would see Bella and I happy one moment and then nothing the next. Maybe the reason Alice couldn't see past it was because I hadn't presented the option to Bella yet. I was sure once Bella made a decision everything would fall into place.

I stepped into my room, pulled clothes from my closet and changed in a rush. I needed to get back to Bella. Each minute away from her was almost agonizing. During the three days Bella spent with her mom, I missed her more than I had dreamed. If Bella consented to leaving with me and forego a wedding then this visit to the meadow could possibly be our last.

_So… how did it go?_

Carlisle was standing silently in my doorway leaning against the doorframe with a wide smile on his face. He was back in his faded jeans, his arms crossed over a white t-shirt, and his hair was uncombed as if he just gotten out of bed. He must have fed earlier in the morning. His skin had taken on the look that fresh blood always gave our kind, not to mention the pale butterscotch color of his eyes. As I stood looking at him, I realized I wasn't looking at a vampire who had lived more than three centuries, but at a young man not much older than myself. A young man who was very much in love and content with the life he was given.

Since Esme and I had returned from Alaska, Carlisle had hardly left her side and they spent every moment they could together in their room. Of course that was completely normal behavior for them. I had always thought of myself as extremely observant, even more so than most vampires because of my ability to hear other's thoughts, but I never allowed myself to see how much in love the people in my own house were. My love for Bella had opened my eyes to every glance, every touch, and every little sign of affection my family gave each other. Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Jasper were just as passionate with each other as Emmett and Rosalie, they each just had their own way of showing it. I didn't see it before or… I refused to recognize it for what it was.

"Did you try it again?" Carlisle sounded very eager to hear how the rest of my evening went after my first attempt to share something more with Bella ended in her fainting in my car at little more than a flick of my tongue.

"Yes." I couldn't keep the silly grin from spreading across my face as I remembered what had happened the second time I touched my tongue to Bella's skin, "Yes, I did and she managed to stay conscious the second time."

"And? Did she enjoy it?"

"Oh yes, very much… We both did." I recalled the memory of those few minutes. I could feel the sensation of our bodies twitching in rhythm with one another as I held her against my car. "But… I think it scared her a little so I didn't try it a third time or attempt anything else that we had talked about." He smiled and nodded.

In noticing his totally casual appearance, I couldn't help but comment on it. "It looks as though you are enjoying your vacation. It's been a long time since I've seen you dressed in anything other than your work clothes."

His smile grew wider, "Esme and I are both enjoying it immensely." For the briefest moment his head was filled with passionate thoughts of Esme. "After we move back up to Alaska, I think I'm going to take some time off from work and spend it with my wife and my family. I might even go back to school and brush up on my education. You'll be far too busy for awhile to help me out in that capacity and I've missed out on some of the leaps and bounds made in medicine lately."

I studied his face and his random yet organized thoughts. He was happier than he had been in a long time. As long as I could remember, he hadn't taken any time off from work just for the pleasure of doing nothing. No matter where we were in the world, he was always out sharing his talent, his… gift.

Yes. It was a gift. I had never before allowed myself to think of what we have as anything but a curse.

That was one of the many gifts Bella had given to me. She changed me, opened my eyes and helped me see that there is more to existing on this earth than just going through the empty everyday steps of pretending to try to fit in somewhere, anywhere, everywhere. Bella had given me so much and asked only for my eternal love in return. The only gift she ever wanted from me.

"Carlisle, how soon will we be ready to move?"

His eyebrows went up, _Why?_

"You and Jasper were right. I don't need a piece of paper to make Bella my wife. I've decided to tell her that we don't need to get married. It's not important now. If she agrees and is willing, I'll take her to Denali as soon as we're ready to go."

_Well Edward,_ "I can't say that I didn't expect this change of heart." He chuckled and shook his head slightly, "I think we can be ready within two days." _We'd better tell Esme. _

He turned into the hall and I followed him down the stairs to his room. He opened the door to their vast bedroom and I noticed Esme lying on their bed sketching some random design on her sketchpad. She looked up as we came through the door.

"Edward has decided to give Bella choice of whether or not to have a wedding. If she is willing to leave sooner, we'll need to be ready to go in two days. Would that be a problem for you?"

Esme sat up on her knees and looked at me. "Not at all. Edward, are you sure?" _There is plenty of time you know._

"Yes, I'm sure. Though I'm afraid Alice is a bit upset with me for calling off the wedding of the century." I remarked with a chuckle.

"Don't worry about her." Carlisle walked over to the bed and lay down next to Esme and began softly stroking her arm, "She'll be thrilled to just have her best friend and sister finally join the family just as we all will. It's not like a wedding may never happen. You both might change your minds later on and decide to get married anyway."

"That's a definite possibility." I moved to leave then turned back, "I'm taking Bella to the meadow today so we'll be home later tonight and let you know what we've decided."

xxX0Xxx

Charlie had been up and ready to leave for about thirty minutes. He had just gone downstairs to make a cup of coffee and have something to eat. I sat straddling Bella's window frame waiting for Charlie to decide what he was going to do, stay home or go on to work. He was beginning to lean towards staying home when I knew I had to do something. I walked silently over to Bella's bed.

She was so beautiful. She lay on her side facing the wall. Her mahogany hair fanned out over her pillow. Up until Charlie's alarm went off I had been laying next her, my body pressed up to her every curve, my nose nestled in her velvety neck.

I leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Good morning, beautiful." I moved my lips down just below her ear and gently placed a kiss on her neck feeling her pulse quicken for those few seconds. I smiled when I felt her whole bed vibrate against my legs as a tremor swept through her. Then her sweet thoughts flowed into me reminding me how much I had missed hearing them in the night.

_My first night home in my own bed and he wakes me up at six in the morning. That's really strange…I feel really good for only sleeping 3 hours._

It was strange. Strange how she didn't seem to need as much sleep as before. Strange how there seemed to be minuscule changes in her physiology. She looked up into my face smiling and pulled her fingers through her tangled hair then stretched like a sensuous little cat. The urge to stretch out on top of her and slide my tongue all over her delicious neck was beginning to get the better of me, then Bella reminded my why I had woken her in the first place.

"Is Charlie still home?" Even her husky whisper was as sexy as could be.

"Yes. He's trying to decide whether he should stay home with you or not. I think I'll give him a hand." I wanted to get Charlie out of the house… now. In a flash I was out of the window and down on the ground next to my car. I opened and closed my car door as if I had just arrived. Then I went up the porch steps and rang the doorbell.

_Who could that be at six in the morning?_

I heard Charlie's boots cross the carpet to the door.

"Hey, Edward," _It seems like he just left._ "You're here early. I don't know if Bella is even awake yet." _Okay, well maybe I can go to work now_. "But, you know what? I wasn't sure if I should stay home with her or go on to work, but since you're here I'll get going. I'll just run up and see if she's awake."

I waited as he climbed the stairs. If Bella hadn't been awake, she would have been woken up by his heavy footfalls and the pounding knock on her door.

"Bells, are you up yet?"

I heard her little feet pad across the carpet to her door.

"Did you want me to stay home with you today? I was just wondering because Edward's here and I'm sure you would rather spend the day with him."

Her footsteps moved back into her room and then I heard her comment in her head but I was sure she had typed something other than what she had been thinking.

_Of course I want to spend the day with Edward, Charlie, but since the sun is supposed to be out all day we won't be where anyone can see us, like the beach._

_The beach or something?_ "Uh, maybe Edward wouldn't mind taking you." Charlie's voice drifted down the stairs. "Edward?"

"Yes."

"Bella wants to go to the beach or something, would you mind taking her?" It was more of a plea than a request.

"I'd be happy to!" I answered even though that was the last place I would take her.

"Well, I'll see you later on. Please be careful today, okay?"_ I don't want you ending up like that missing unknown Jane Doe!_ "I don't want to come home and find one new bruise, bump or scratch on you." _What am I thinking? This is Bella I'm talking to here! _

Charlie came down the stairs and then I caught Bella's eye as she crossed the hall into the bathroom behind him. Charlie grabbed his belt from the rack where it hung each day and strapped it on as he talked.

"You know we haven't found any trace of that rogue wolf. A bunch of the boys from La Push have been helping us out in the search but no one has found anything so far. Keep your eyes open if you decide to go for a hike or something, okay?" Charlie was completely confused as to why they had not found even a shred of clothing from the girl. It also seemed to worry him that no missing persons report had been filed for anyone matching the description of the girl that Alice and I had given him. "I really rather that Bella didn't leave the house at all." Then he began laughing, "If she has any near death experiences, could you please just save her life and not tell me about it?" Of course, Charlie truly believed he was making a joke.

"I certainly will." _I will always save her._

Charlie stepped out of the door and I headed up the stairs before his car even left the driveway. Bella's scent was everywhere if I only dared to breathe it in.

I silently stood in the bathroom door, fascinated by watching Bella brush her teeth, smelling all the scents I associated with her. Her shampoo, her soap, even her toothpaste. The smell of her body after she had slept next to me in the night, our two separate scents combined made her scent so much more indescribably luscious.

She was wearing only a small pale blue tank top and a satiny pair of night-shorts. I ached to reach out and touch her, to feel her warm translucent skin under my cold fingers. I stepped closer. A feeling swept over me, she knew I was there a second before she looked up and saw my face staring back at her in the mirror. With one more step I was touching her again, pressing my body against hers, feeling the warmth of her flowing over me.

_Edward. _

Her sweet musical thought washed over me. As I held her gaze in the mirror I brought my hands up under her jaw and let my fingers slowly trace down the curves of her silky neck, then down across her collarbone to the downward curve of her soft shoulders. Her heart had already begun racing as my fingers traveled farther down her arms, past her elbows and all the way to the tips of her fingers where they strained to grasp the countertop. Her skin was almost feverish as I slowly worked my way back up her arms then guided my fingers down each side of her back.

_Oh Bella, you feel so good. _

I could feel the tingle of electricity begin somewhere deep inside of me feeding my desire. My parched mouth filled with venom as her fragrance increased with her arousal and filled the small space of the bathroom. I held the reflection of her eyes with mine as my throat began to burn with more intensity.

I was challenging the limits of my well-disciplined willpower again.

My fingers slipped under the hem of her tank top and she trembled as I traced slowly over the heated flesh of her waist and abdomen.

I wondered as I touched her velvety skin… What would it feel like to stand naked in the shower with her? To kiss her as the hot water rained over and around us? To graze my teeth gently along the warm wet skin of her supple neck? To taste the luscious nectar hidden just below her frail covering. To quench the thirst I had denied myself for so long and then…

_Dammit! Be careful! _I warned myself.

I could feel her heart pounding, a rapid thrumming vibration in my fingertips. Through my haze of desire I suddenly became aware that even though Bella's heart was beating at a frantic pace she had stopped breathing… again. Though I had never taken my eyes from hers in the mirror I hadn't noticed until that second that her eyelids were beginning to close in a lazy slow unfocused blink. If I didn't stop now she would faint within seconds.

As I looked at her angelic face in the mirror I whispered softly in her ear, "Breathe."

It took her a moment but she finally took in a great gasping breath and I could feel her body begin to calm somewhat. With in seconds all of her rigidly tight muscles slowly relaxed with each breath she took.

_Bella, my beautiful Bella. What am I going to do with you?_

Right then I decided to try one more thing Carlisle had suggested. I had dismissed it when he first brought it up as much too dangerous for me to attempt but now, I knew I could do it. Carlisle believed I had the self-control to pull it off without sinking my teeth into her. But, as he reminded me, if something happened I couldn't hesitate… I would have to bite her. Biting her was inevitable, so I prepared myself for whatever may happen.

As I allowed venom to pool in my mouth, I leaned down and lightly brushed my lips against the soft skin directly between her neck and shoulder. I opened my mouth and oh so carefully touched my venom coated teeth to her skin. Bella's heart raced more wildly then ever and her breathing abruptly stopped again. She had become completely motionless. I could feel her pulse as it vibrated through my teeth. My venom flowed onto her skin causing her to break out in goose flesh all over but still, she didn't even dare to blink. In the reflection of the mirror I watched my venom leave a clear shiny liquid trail as it slipped down and under her tank top to flow over the curve of her small breast. I felt a slight tremor pass through her as I removed my teeth from her shoulder and closed my mouth swallowing the excess venom down my parched throat. It certainly did nothing to quench the painful thirst I was working so desperately to ignore.

I whispered next to her ear, "Are you ready?"

She pulled in a ragged breath as thoughts swam through her mind into mine. _What? Now?_ She swallowed hard._ Is he ready now? Oh please! Not next to the toilet!_

I stepped back from her laughing. _I'll have to remember biting her in the bathroom is totally unacceptable!_ "I meant are you ready to go?"

A streak of anger spiked in her thoughts, "Oh really? Do I look ready?" There was no mistaking the tone of her gravelly whispers. She turned to face me down placing a hand on the door as if she would have loved to slam it in my face at that moment. "You are such a tease, you know that?"

_Yes, but you love me for it._ I didn't dare open my mouth after I had put her in such an exasperated state. I stepped back out into the hall as she closed the door in my face. I realized right then that she would make me pay dearly for that. Some way, some how, she was going to get me back. I heard her thumb begin to push the button that would have locked the door then her thought came to me sweet and clear with just an edge of sarcasm, _'Why bother?'_

Then in a more serious tone I said through the door, "If I wanted in that bad, there is no lock that could keep me out."

_I know... Would you mind giving my some privacy in here?_

"Absolutely."

As soon as she turned on the water in the shower, I ran down the stairs and out the front door. I needed to clear my head. Standing outside the bathroom door and listening to her shower was something I simply could not do. Hearing the sensual sounds of the water running down all over her body, the sound of the towel caressing her skin as she dried off and even the sounds her clothes made as she pulled them on was more than I could take, feeling the way I did right then.

Within minutes the water shut off. I waited until I heard her inner deliberation on whether or not she should put her bathing suit on under her clothes. Then I silently raced up the stairs.

"I'm not taking you to the beach if that helps your decision."

_Edward! So much for privacy! _

I burst out laughing again. With her mind open to me now, privacy was something she would never have again. The meaning of privacy had taken on a whole new definition where she was concerned. "I thought privacy meant not to break down the door and attempt to bite you or something right next to the toilet!"

_Oh please! _

I heard the soft ruffling of clothing being pulled on in a hurry and then the door came open with a rush of fragrant steam floating into my face clouding my thoughts.

"You know Charlie really doesn't want you to leave the house." We didn't really need to go all the way to the meadow. We could enjoy each other right here.

_Yeah, I heard. I heard everything he said._

"Well, we could stay in." I smiled as I imagined her wrapped in my arms lying on her bed all day. Her melodic thoughts suddenly became dark and worried.

_Oh please don't tease me like this! Does he have any idea how much I want to be with him? God, of course he does, how could he not know… with all he's been doing he must feel the same way! But… we need to wait, we can't give in. I can't give in. I don't want to let anyone down just because I lost control in the heat of passion._

"Bella, I promise I won't let you go too far." I had to smile as she lowered her head and walked past me into her room. I instantly smelled the change in her scent. She was letting fear creep into her. She threw her things on her bed and stood with her back to me in the middle of the room. The smell of her fear hit me hard causing a fresh flow of venom to fill my mouth.

_Stop it! I will not bite her now! I refuse to give in and take her when she is so frightened!_

Her fearful whisper filled the room, "What about you, Edward? Who would stop you from going too far?" Her wispy voice trembled ever so slightly, "As you have pointed out to me many times, even though I would never refuse you, I could never fight you off either."

Her dark thoughts rolled over me.

She was frightened but not for any of the reasons I would expect, she was afraid for her parents and how they would deal with her disappearance. She worried about Jacob's threats, something that was so far from my mind, I didn't even give them a second thought.

_Oh Bella! My love, my silly Isabella! _

I raced to her and in a flash she was in my arms. I picked her up and danced her around in circles as her hands grasped my shoulders for dear life. Her deep chocolate eyes were huge and bright. I didn't even try to keep the predator growl from emerging in my voice, "Finally! I was beginning to wonder if you were really human or not." I locked her frightened dark eyes in my gaze, "Isabella Swan, you are afraid of me!"

_Oh Bella! I love you more than you can imagine! So much that I can even resist the wonderfully delightful scent you are giving off at this very second! _

I stopped spinning her around._ "_Did you know that the smell of fear is one of the most intoxicating scents there is? I smelled it on you last night. That's why I stopped. Why I would only kiss you."

I put her feet back on the floor, released my hold on her and stepped back to give her space to think. All this time I had wished she would come to her senses and realize the true danger she was in by being with me. See the real truth and run as fast and as far from me as she could get. But now that she had felt fear, even though it was for reasons I would have never guessed, it tore at everything inside of me that loved her.

I needed her to hear my words and believe them with all her heart and if resorting to using my powers of persuasion on her was what I needed to calm her fears, then that was what I would use.

"Bella, you have nothing to fear from me." I watched as her eyes clouded over and her breathing gave a little hitch before a small whisper escaped her mouth.

"I'm ready." The words rushed out as nothing but air.

Then I felt the dark pooling in my eyes and the wicked smile that crossed my face.

"I mean I'm ready to go now." She stammered, her voice a little stronger, "You know, to leave."

I stepped aside and let her walk past me down the stairs as I followed close behind. As she reached for the door handle I took her hand and pulled her into my arms tightly.

"You were right, you know?" I leaned down and placed my nose under her ear, breathing her in deeply, "I am a tease."

xxX0Xxx

We were standing in the heavy shade of the ancient trees at the edge of the meadow. I was still having that feeling of being watched. I had felt it the second we had stepped out of Bella's front door the same as I had felt it the night before. It had to be Jacob again, somewhere out there just beyond my ability to be certain. If he was trying to protect Bella from me, he was going about it in the strangest way. If I wanted to, I could bite her right in front of him and carry her away before he knew what had happened. As I peered into the dark shadows all around the meadow, Bella's thoughts of this beautiful place turned sad. I thought she would be overjoyed to spend the day here with me in the brilliant sunshine but something was causing her extreme unhappiness. Something from the past.

I tried to focus on her but I couldn't shake the strange feelings. Behind us, the way we had come, I could hear the birds singing and small animals as they made all the normal noises but across the meadow, in the distance, the forest was silent as if a predator were hiding there. For only a second the faint foul odor of werewolf drifted by my sensitive nose.

"It smells of werewolf." It was so faint I couldn't tell if it was an old odor or fresh.

_That's probably my fault._ Bella's thought was almost a tortured sigh.

"Why would you think that?" I never took my eyes from the surrounding trees.

_Oh, it's a long story_…

Bella's thoughts tumbled over me each one forcing my attention to her and away from the shadows that could be hiding someone or something. It was all I could do to keep up with every thought that flashed in her mind.

_When you left me - when you were gone – when I was alone – I was dead without you – I killed Jake here…_

I wrapped my arms around her fragile body as I looked back into the shadows.

_Bella, I'm so sorry for ever leaving you. _

I rested my chin on her head. I was sure I had misunderstood some of she was thinking… she killed Jake here? That couldn't be right. I tried to soothe her with my touch and my voice, "It's all right. Slow down and try that again."

"I wish I could just forget the past sometimes!" She would have yelled it if she could but her still swollen vocal folds refused to allow it. I pulled her in tighter as her tortured words sank into me. No matter what I did to make things right again these memories would always be there inside of her. But we needed them. We needed them to keep us from ever letting anything tear us apart.

"We need our memories, Bella. I never want to make the same mistakes I have made in the past. I know now that neither of us could survive without the other. I thank Carlisle everyday for making the decision to change me when he did, otherwise I would have died without ever knowing you. Without ever feeling this way."

_I thank him everyday too._

I felt her arms squeeze me back as she took a deep breath.

_Okay, I'll try again._

In the next few minutes her haunted agonizing thoughts flowed into me like the saddest song I could ever imagine. Her memories told me of all the reckless and dangerous things she did just to hear my phantom voice in her head. Pleading with her… "_Don't do this!"_ Begging her… _"Keep swimming!" _Raging at her… "_No! Bella, no!"_

In searching for this meadow she was able to keep my memory alive in her mind and with Jacob's help, she spent days looking for it without success. Finally, after Jacob refused to see her due to the changes he was going through in becoming a werewolf, she found it on her own. Only Bella could be so unlucky as to come here on the one day that Laurent had found it also. Their conversation flashed through the back of her mind and I heard all the implications of it…

"_She won't be happy about this…about me killing you… James was her mate and your Edward killed him… I'll be very quick. You won't feel a thing, I promise."_

Rage, sudden and fierce boiled up inside of me.

Bella looked up at me just then with her sweet innocent mesmerizing eyes and my anger was instantly cooled. I softly kissed the end of her nose then she laid her warm cheek against my hard chest. Her warmth sank into me as she went on recounting what had taken place here.

The werewolves had terrified her. At the time she had no idea it was the pack Jacob ran with. She had been so sure they would kill her, as she believed there was no way they could hurt a vampire. She remembered how Laurent had looked at them with fear in his eyes before he ran into the forest and how shocked she was when the wolves chased after him, leaving her unharmed to spend the next few hours trying to find her way back to her truck.

Her memories reminded me once again how stupid I had been to leave her side. How did she ever bear all the sorrow I caused her and still forgive me?

She lived.

At least she tried.

She searched for any shred of hope that would bring me back to her even if I were only a voice in her head.

While I did nothing but hide in a nasty forgotten attic crawlspace and try to fade away into my own meaningless darkness.

I wanted her to remember this meadow as the place we first proclaimed our love for one another. The place where I ran with her on my back for the first time and how it had made her so dizzy. I wished her to remember our first kiss and always associate it with the wonderful day we had spent here. The only thing I could do was to give her another day so beautiful it would help erase all the bad memories from her mind.

We stood there wrapped in each other's arms. Her warm soft body pressed into mine in all the right places.

"I wish that I could share my thoughts with you, Bella." I placed my hand against her velvety cheek lifting her face to mine. Her dark brown eyes were moist from the few tears she couldn't control as she recalled her memories of this place.

_You are so beautiful, my precious angel, my Bella. _

"All I can do is hope that you believe me when I say… I also have become yours forever."

_My vows! _

Her happiness flowed into me. The smile she gave me was priceless. I would do anything to keep that smile on her lovely face today and everyday. "Those are beautiful wedding vows. Did you write them?"

She blushed suddenly. A wondrous shade of pink that spread over her cheeks, down her neck and across the tops of her shoulders.

_No, not exactly. I pieced them together from vows I found on the Internet. _

She was embarrassed!

_Right after you asked me to marry you, I spent hours at the Newton's store looking them up when we were really slow._

She had tilted her head down a little and would only look up at me from under her eyelashes. A look I always found extremely sexy.

_You don't think they're too sappy, do you?_

I wanted to burst out laughing. Not because I thought the vows she had pieced together were silly but because she had hidden the fact that she had begun her research of them right after I had asked her to be my wife. No wonder Alice saw her say 'yes' a thousand times! Bella had already made her mind up long ago, probably at the same time I had purchased her ring.

I stroked my finger over her heated cheek. "Do you think your ring is sappy?"

_Not at all! I love it!_

"Then Isabella Swan, I will be honored to recite your vows at our wedding." I placed both of my hands against her cheeks and held her as I looked deep into the dark depths of her eyes. "But I want you to know that there is no need for a wedding now, if you would rather not…"

_Is this the moment Alice saw in her vision? It must be! Whatever Bella decides will set our future in place. We will either leave within two days or wait until the night of the new moon and follow through with the vision Alice had showed me._

That glorious smile was back on Bella's face.

_I really don't mind and one wedding will be all I ever need and, well, I don't think I could face Alice again if I didn't let her plan a twilight wedding for us._

She was giggling and looking at me that way again, under her lashes. It was just a look but it stirred up everything that was male in me.

"She'll get over it, I think." The vision I had conjured in my head of her in a strapless gown sent a rush of electricity through my veins. I placed my fingers on her delicate throat lightly pressing on her jugular vein. Her blood pulsed through it rapidly under my touch. When the time comes, my teeth would breech the fragile protection of her skin at that very point. "But, I have had a picture in my head of our wedding night and I believe I would really miss seeing your blood trickle down your beautiful neck, staining your white wedding gown." I slowly traced a path down her neck to the soft pillowy edge that marked her breast. I never took my eyes from hers. I fought the dark pooling sensation in my eyes and the flow of venom in my mouth as I felt her entire body shudder violently and break out in chills.

"Did I scare you again?" Her body was sending out conflicting signals but her scent hadn't taken on the smell of fear.

"Don't mistake my reaction for fear, Edward Cullen." Every word she spoke was the truth, "I'm way past the running and screaming stage."

"Then what was all that for?"

She drew in a smooth breath, "Anticipation." She held a determined look on her face. There was no sign of teasing even in her voice, she was as serious as she could be.

_Oh God! I love this woman!_

"You are one insane human, you know that don't you?"

_Would you want me any other way?_ Now she was teasing… unmercifully so.

I felt a wicked smile spread slowly across my face as I let my imagination run wild for the moment. "Oh, I can think of a few ways I want you right now." I flashed my deadly teeth at her and slowly ran my tongue over my lips.

She quickly took a step back from me but still showed no fear.

_You are sure in a mood this morning Edward. I'm beginning to wonder if I should be alone with you at all so close to our wedding._

"I'll be happy to take you to a nice crowded beach and drop you off for the day, if you would feel safer." I knew she would never agree to that option.

_No, that's okay._

Her amazing floral fragrance suddenly became more intense. It swirled around me on the slight breeze dark and thick.

_I'll make the best of it here._

Her thought floated over me as she wrapped her arms around my waist pressing her perfect woman's body to mine.

I looked out into the shadows once again in an effort to keep my mind busy on something else and let Bella enjoy herself as she tortured me. I concentrated on the other side of the meadow. I listened and could hear the normal sounds had returned all around us now. The feeling of being watched was gone and no stray odors came on the wind. If Jacob had been there, he was gone now.

I felt Bella's fingers tugging at my shirt collar.

_I need to fix this shirt._

I held my breath as the first button came undone.

I had known she would expect me to open my shirt just as the first time we came here when I more than gladly bared my skin for her. But, if we were going to spend the day here, I would need to block out much more than just her scent, I would need to block everything I could. I even began to wonder if from now until the wedding we should spend our time together in the company of others, not only for her sake but also for mine.

Suddenly after the first button she stopped and looked up at me.

_Do you think you can handle it or would you consider this going too far?_

Her thought was a gentle tease.

_Play nice, Isabella._

"I can handle it." I tried to smile. It would take all my self-control to get through this afternoon.

She quickly went back to unbuttoning every button and pushed my shirt aside to expose my entire chest. I felt the warmth of her fingertips as she traced them across the muscled ridges of my torso. I never dreamed she could have such erotic thoughts hidden within her imagination.

_Ah… Bella, my love. We will have an eternity to experience all your wildest dreams and more. But right now, you're thoughts are nothing short of pure torture._

"Bella, if you continue to have such wonderfully sensual thoughts, I won't be able to handle it for very long." I was caught in a battle with my body's reactions to her imagination. Using all of my energy I fought back my natural instincts, not just my vampire ones, but my male ones also. My throat was on fire, venom filled my mouth, parts of my anatomy desperately begged to come to life.

_So, block me out. But now that we're here, I am going to enjoy this whether you block me out or not._

So I did.

Without her voice flowing through my head it felt as if I had cut out a piece of my own brain and without her scent wafting into me it was like staring at a life-size moving doll of her, alive but without the things that made her real. It was much easier to be with her but much less pleasant.

She took my hands and slowly backed out into the light of the sun pulling me along with her. As soon as the light fell upon my hands, she stopped. Her face lit up at the sight of my faceted marble skin and her thumbs slowly stroked the back of my hands.

She pulled me as she walked backward across the meadow. I tensed a little waiting for her to trip and go tumbling into the tall green grass but she never did. I lay down in almost the same spot as I had lain the first time we were here. Bella stood for a moment just looking at me. It was so strange not to hear her melodic thoughts flow into me but I could read her feelings in her eyes, she was completely enthralled at the sight of me.

She knelt beside me, her eyes wide, a wondrous smile on her lips. She reached out with her hand. I felt her fingers softly come in contact with my skin. She left little trails of heat as she moved them slowly over every inch of my bare chest. I closed my eyes as her tender affections washed over me sinking into every cell of my body, warming me inside.

Time passed and I let my thoughts drift as I enjoyed Bella's gentle touch. Though I craved her scent and missed hearing her random thoughts it was much easier to relax and let her enjoy herself.

"Edward?" Her sweet whisper broke the silence.

"Yes?"

"What made you want to reveal yourself to me?"

Had I really never told her the true reasons? "By the time I had brought you here, I had already found that I loved you more than my own life and I wanted you to know what I truly am so that knowing the truth your fascination with me could end." I opened my eyes and looked at her. "I was so certain that you would be terrified of me and go running home to your mother and never tempt me again." I closed my eyes and smiled, "Obviously, I was wrong."

Another moment passed then I heard her take in a small breath to speak, "Why did you stop breathing?"

How could I tell her the already luscious scent she possesses becomes so luxuriant, so unbelievably sumptuous when she becomes aroused? Would she be offended? Embarrassed? Maybe if I explained it delicately…

"Your scent changes when you become…aroused. Normally, your blood just sings to me and I've been able to control myself so far. But at times like this, your blood screams to me and I have been finding it increasingly more difficult to not sink my teeth into you." I didn't dare take more breath than I needed to speak and even those small breathes through my mouth were thick and heavy with her scent.

"Edward, what are you waiting for? I don't need to have a wedding."

I opened my eyes to find her looking at me under her thick eyelashes again. "I have been waiting for you to say your good-byes." I saw sadness flash in her eyes for just a second.

"Edward, I'm ready to leave this life behind. I'm ready right now." She was completely serious. She would never be any more ready than she was at that moment.

_Oh God, Bella. We're really going to do this. Then it's settled. No more waiting._

I would need to call Carlisle and tell him we'd made a decision. I would take her home, let her collect anything she wished to take with her and then leave for Denali. I brought my hand from behind my head to pull my phone from my pocket then I heard something in the trees off to our right.

It sounded like… footsteps.

Suddenly the warmth of the sun was gone from my skin as a lone cloud drifted in front of the sun. All the normal sounds of the forest went eerily silent. Bella leaned over me, her silky hair brushing against my skin as she lowered her face and placed a gentle kiss in the middle of my chest. The feel of her warm moist lips on my skin sent a jolt of electricity straight through my entire body and I gasped. In that one breath Bella's scent rushed over my tongue and down my burning throat but along with her sweetness was another odor. And that odor had me on my feet in less than a second. I immediately opened my mind for any and all thoughts that accompanied the horrid smell. The faint footsteps were closer now.

"_Where the hell are we going? No wonder we never found any remains if they were hidden in this far."_

_Charlie…and someone else._

"Your father is here."

"What?" Her shocked voice came out as a loud hissing squeak.

"Someone is with him – he thinks he is coming to find remains – Victoria's I believe." I drew in another deep breath letting the odor coat the back of my throat.

_Damn you Jacob Black!_

"Jacob Black." I growled the name.

Bella was totally confused, "Why would Jacob bring Charlie here?"

"Bella, sometimes you are so naïve." I whispered as I continued to stare off into the trees. I could see their shadowed movements as they approached. They were closer than I thought.

Bella stood up. Her mind raced at a frantic pace trying to make sense of what was about to happen. Then it hit her… Charlie would see me in the sun in all my vampire glory.

"Run Edward! Run now!" She tried to yell but it was useless. She pushed at me but I stood my ground.

Then Jacob's thoughts blasted hard in my head.

_That's right Cullen! Just stay right where you are because if you run I'll chase you down! _

"They're here."

"Please Edward, RUN!" Her throat refused to allow a decent level of anxiety through but I heard it just the same.

_I'm surprised you stuck around after catching my scent this morning. You're either really brave or really stupid._

"No, I won't run. Jacob knew we were here – it was him. He is the wolf I smelled this morning. He was here watching. He must have followed us…"

_Are you just now catching on, Cullen?_

"…from your house and then left to bring your father here." I was so stupid, "In blocking you out so completely, I also blocked out their approach." I looked down into the face of the only love I would ever know as Jacob's words came again.

_You've put her through enough! Send her away with Charlie! Don't make her watch me kill you!_

Bella's dark burnt umber eyes were huge and frightened. "But he'll see you!" Still she thought only of how Charlie would react when he saw me in the sun. She pleaded with me as she pushed unsuccessfully at my stone body with all her human strength. Angry tears filled her eyes and slipped down her flushed cheeks, "At least run under the trees, please! The sun Edward!" She begged.

Her pleas tore at me, ripped me in a thousand directions. I couldn't think. I wanted nothing more than to wrapped her in my arms and run with her, carry her away from the terrible danger I had exposed her to once again.

_Oh my dear sweet Bella._ _How could I have been so stupid? All the signs were right in front of me. Jacob had been planning this all along. I'm so sorry._

I would stand and fight. No matter how alien I would look to Charlie, Jacob transforming into his werewolf form would be much more frightening. I would have to trust in Charlie to get his daughter out of here. Suddenly I wished I had Jasper's abilities instead of mine. I needed Charlie to stay calm. I needed to stay calm.

Jacob and Charlie stepped from the shadows across the meadow.

_It's too late, Cullen. _

I stared into Jacob's hate-filled eyes as I spoke, "It's too late, Bella."


	14. Chapter 14 The Twists and Turns of Fate

_**In my mind, Edward's voice has the range and beauty of Josh Groban and Vittorio Gigilo. Like Bella, I could listen to Edward sing all day and night.**_

**_Thanks so much to my wonderful beta, s'blue, who stays up way too late to proof-read my ramblings._**

**_Enjoy..._**

_Oh my dear sweet Bella. How could I have been so stupid? All the signs were right in front of me. Jacob had been planning this all along. I'm so sorry. _

_I would stand and fight. No matter how alien I would look to Charlie, Jacob transforming into his werewolf form would be much more frightening. I would have to trust in Charlie to get his daughter out of here. Suddenly I wished I had Jasper's abilities instead of mine. I needed Charlie to stay calm. I needed to stay calm. _

_Jacob and Charlie stepped from the shadows across the meadow. _

_It's too late, Cullen. _

_I stared into Jacob's hate-filled eyes as I spoke, "It's too late, Bella." _

Chapter Fourteen

The Twists and Turns of Fate

"Bella? Edward?" Charlie asked as he walked toward the center of the meadow where we stood He was extremely surprised to see us standing in the middle of what could possibly be a crime scene.

_Edward, you were right, I am so naïve. Oh Jacob, why?_

Bella's heart was crushed. She had held on so long to the hope that she and Jacob could somehow still be friends but now she realized that he was about to destroy her life.

Charlie looked from Bella to me and back again, "I thought you two were going to the beach."

_Get her out of here! Make her leave now! _

Jacob's thought was almost painful in it's strength. I could see how much it hurt him to stay in human form this close to me. The ripples running through his body looked like endless tiny waves of water flowing under his skin. He was very close to bursting into his werewolf form. All I could hope is that he would stay focused on me alone and not try to go after Charlie or Bella in his rage.

I hated having to do it, but I needed to provoke Jacob into transforming and soon. I brought forth the voice I had always used in the past to mesmerize my human prey. I needed Charlie to stay calm until Jacob's transformation took him over.

"There was a change of destination." The sound of my voice hypnotized Charlie immediately. He slowed his pace to very small stuttering steps. I could hear him trying to hold onto why he was there in the meadow. He knew it had something to do with the missing girl's remains. His forward motion stopped when he was only yards from where we stood. Then Jacob's thoughts came smashing into my head once again.

_Stop that! What are you trying to do? Do you want Bella to watch as I tear you apart? Get her out of here! _

"I came looking for that girl's remains. Jacob said he found them here." Under my power Charlie's speech was very slow, sluggish. And still, I could see Jacob's body fighting to stay human as he stood beside Charlie.

_Stop what you're doing to him! Open your mouth again and I swear I'll tear you apart in front of both of them!_

Now he was threatening me. He was so close to losing his control all I needed was one more push and he'd be over the edge and on the attack.

"You will never find anything here, Chief Swan." I replied. Jacob began to move into a crouch so slowly he had to be only seconds from losing all restrain.

_Damn you bloodsucker!_

His thought was a low growl crawling over my brain. This was going to get ugly right in front of Bella and her father.

"There are no remains left to be found." I pushed. I could hear Charlie's mind had become totally blank for the moment.

_Cullen, I know what you're trying to do and it won't work. _

Jacob's muscles stopped rippling immediately. A smile spread across his face.

How could I have been such an idiot? He had fooled me into thinking he was struggling to keep his transformation reined in when he was actually far from it.

"Charlie, there's plenty to see here." Jacob's smile was hideous.

_Did you honestly think I was so stupid as to risk exposing my pack because of you, Cullen? _

"Let me show you something you will not believe." Jacob's fierce growl snapped Charlie out of my control and in less than a second Charlie's gun was pulled from its holster and in Jacob's hand. I watched as his finger slipped over the trigger and pulled. His arm barely moved as the gun went off. I saw the bullet flying through the air and braced myself for the impact as it hit right below my rib cage, smashed into a small lead lump and ricocheted off into the tall grass to my left.

Charlie barely had time to react as Jacob pulled the trigger again to send a second bullet sailing at me.

Suddenly, as if she possessed vampire speed, Bella was in front of me taking the bullet into her body and flying back crashing into me. The bullet had gone straight through her hitting me and falling to the ground between us. The smell of her blood called to me, screamed to me. Hit me as hard as it had the first time I caught her scent not so long ago in that classroom full of students. I could feel the dark pooling in my eyes as my sight heightened and I focused down on the rich dark blood that bloomed out of the small hole in her chest and the larger hole in her back. Venom flowed freely into my mouth and I choked it down my burning throat into my already twisting stomach. I fought viciously to keep the hazy cloud of bloodlust from taking over my brain.

_I can't give in to it, not here, not now… not yet. _

Only a second had passed when I pulled in my last breath and held it as I wrapped my arms around Bella's body and lowered her to the ground.

"Hold on my love, please hold on." I whispered in her angelic face.

_Don't worry, I'll never let go._

I not only heard her sweet melodic thought but also felt it as a wave of deep love that caressed my very core. Amazingly, she was smiling. With all that just happened, she was still smiling.

_I need to get her away from here. I need to save her… I need to bite her. _

_Soon._

As the next few seconds passed I heard the total despair in Charlie's voice as he called out his daughter's name, "Bella!" _Oh my God!_ Then he turned and screamed in Jacob's blank face as he easily ripped the gun from his hand, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" _Are you crazy?_ Charlie ran the few steps that separated him from his daughter and knelt down next to her.

His mind clicked into 'police officer' mode and all his thoughts became clear and concise. He knew the steps he needed to take to insure Bella's safety and his mind started going down a list of procedures. His voice didn't give away any of the feelings he had inside. He kept it very calm when he spoke to her, "Oh my God, Bella. It's going to be okay, just lie still." He reached over and pulled her tank top down just enough to see where the bullet had entered her body. _Ah, crap! This is bad. It's so close to her heart and with that short range I'm sure the exit wound in her back looks a hell of a lot worse. Come on honey, please don't die on me!_ "Just stay still, honey, okay?"

Bella's dark eyes locked onto mine.

_Edward, please! Just take me away from here._

I looked away from her to where Jacob stood motionless in the grass as he stared wide-eyed at Bella and what he'd done to her. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks. His mind was stuck in a loop that repeated Bella's name over and over.

I realized then the reason why Alice's vision had become a fog. It had nothing to do with the fact that I had decided to give Bella a choice. Jacob had taken that choice from both of us. Alice couldn't see the werewolves and how their decisions affected our existence, but what she did see was a fog, a clouded future for both Bella and I. A future that at one time had been so clear now pivoted on whether Jacob would allow me to take Bella away before her heart stopped beating. Would he rather she die than become a vampire or would he let me take her without a fight and have her live on with me forever?

"Jacob, if I don't save her, she will die. Is that what you wanted to accomplish?"

Jacob's black eyes looked into mine and I could hear the terrifying internal struggle going on inside his head. He couldn't understand how I was able to control my thirst for her blood. He was waiting for some kind of monster to burst forth, sprout fangs and bury its face in her neck. He really had no idea that vampires don't transform into something more… hideous. As his mind fought with the myths he grew up with he also desperately tried to decide between the lesser of two evils; whether to kill me and watch Bella bleed to death in front of him or run and let her become one of my kind, a vampire, an enemy.

_I can't save her. No matter what I do she's going to die. If I only had more time._

But time was not a luxury we had at that moment and he needed to make a decision… attack or run. I opened my mouth to speak just as he came to his decision. He blinked away tears and I heard the complete loss of courage in his thought.

_She chose you. _

His black eyes traveled down to rest on Bella's prone form.

"Bella, Oh Bella, I'm so sorry." His words had no strength behind them. His transformation into wolf form took only a few seconds and even though he made no sound, it looked agonizingly painful. He turned and ran at lightning speed into the trees. Watching him run I realized he would have had no trouble keeping up with me if I had decided to run.

Only a few precious minutes had passed as Jacob made up his mind. Now I could concentrate on what I needed to do.

I quickly bent and scooped Bella into my arms lifting her easily. With his focus completely on Bella, Charlie had been spared the sight of Jacob's transformation and he had already figured out that the paramedics would never find us in time. He began to turn toward the trees where he had come from.

"My car is this way – we can't wait for the paramedics to find us – we'll have to meet them on the way." He pulled his radio from his belt, "Can you carry her Edward?" Just as he brought the radio up to his mouth, the lone cloud that had drifted in front of the sun passed and the rays of light flashed off my flesh throwing prisms of light into Charlie's eyes. He staggered back a few steps as his mind tried to grasp what he was looking at.

_What the hell? What… is… he?_

"Who…What are you?" His words rushed out in a whisper. All the blood ran from his frightened face, his breathing became rushed and labored.

_He looks like an…_

His thought just stopped. He couldn't think of a single word to describe what I looked like to him. Then Bella's beautiful voice floated through the air.

"He's my angel." Her words brought a smile to my lips.

"What?" _Angel? Oh please no! That can't be what she said._

"I am her angel." I wrapped her tighter in my arms as I prepared to run with her. She tucked her head under my chin and held me as tight as she could. "I'm sorry Charlie, but there's no time. She will not survive unless I save her and I refuse to let her die."

The sadness and confusion Charlie was feeling was unbearable.

"Charlie I'm so sorry. It was not supposed to happen this way." I turned and heard the unbelievable sadness in his strangled voice.

"Bella?"

Bella reached out her hand to her father. "I love you, daddy."

Then I was running.

xxX0Xxx

She was killing me.

My body had never ached for any other blood as it ached now. My throat burned with a fire I had never felt before. My muscles seemed to have a mind of their own pulling and contracting trying to force me to stop running but I mindlessly pushed on toward my house. My stomach cramped and knotted causing me so much anguish it was all I could do not to double over from it, not to stop and pull Bella's throat to my mouth knowing that it was the only way to stop all the pain.

I could feel her blood running down my body as it soaked through my shirt, my pants. Her blood was on my hands and so close to my face. With every step I fought to keep from stopping and trying to change her on my own, but if she lost much more blood the chances of her making it to my house were slim to none.

_Just one bite. Don't stop, just pull her neck close enough to bite her. Keep running. Just one small bite. Do it before her heart stops. Just take her blood. Take it all._

My feet hit the porch and I was through the open door with my next step.

As I stepped through the open door my eyes caught Alice's frightened face.

"Everything's ready." Alice's choked out a dry sob at me. "Oh, Edward, you will change her! She _will_ survive!" _We won't let her die!_

Before I took one more step a terrible vision began to play out in my head like still flashing photographs…

My crumpled body all but embedded into the wall as Esme knelt to help me up. The back of the couch coming closer and closer until I could see Carlisle's back as he knelt on the carpet bent over the couch. Suddenly as Alice's head turned to look at me standing against the wall, my own face was staring back at me, a feral, vicious terrifying snarl on my bloody lips. Here was the horrific monster I tried so desperately to hide.

Then I could see Bella's fragile body lying on the couch, her head cocked in an unnatural position, ashen, still and so very devoid of life. A mad man had savaged her beautiful neck, torn it into so many pieces and completely drained her of every drop of her precious life giving blood. I couldn't hear the words Carlisle spoke but I knew what he said all the same, "She's dead."

Alice's sobs shook her whole body.

_Oh Alice! Please… Stop!_ _That can't happen! I can't let that happen! Oh please no! _

"Lay her here." Carlisle motioned toward the couch. The same one in Alice's vision. I swerved away from it and headed toward the dining room. Another vision came flickering into my mind…

Bella lying on the floor in the midst of the shattered dining room table. Her blood was everywhere on the carpet beneath her. Carlisle bent over her shaking his head as Alice and Esme held me back from her. I was still fighting to get to her, to finish what I had started.

_No! No! No! Stop!_

I closed my mind off from the visions, from my family, turned and headed toward my piano. I laid Bella down on top of the polished black wood. Esme was right beside me brushing Bella's hair from her face and speaking softly.

"Bella, don't be afraid. We are all here for you." Esme looked into my eyes and nodded. "We all love you, Bella." Then she stepped away.

Carlisle stepped up and placed one hand over Bella's heart and with two fingers of the other hand checked her pulse. "Her pulse is slow and shallow, she is very close Edward." He looked down at Bella, "Bella, honey, can you open your eyes for me?" Her eyes fluttered then slowly came open. Carlisle took a quick look into them then stepped aside.

I gently placed my hands on either side of her face, lacing my fingers into her silky hair. Her skin was so hot to the touch as if she were burning up inside. As soon as her deep brown eyes found mine, tears began to pour out of her.

"Shhh, don't cry my love." Her breath was blowing in delicious gasps into my mouth. I placed little kisses all over my face.

_It's too late for the running and screaming my love. _"Very soon you will be with me forever." I pulled in each of her breaths tasting her essence before savoring her blood.

"Edward?" Carlisle voice sounded so far away. I didn't want to hear it. I wanted to enjoy the moment, the moment before I would take Bella's blood. "Edward!" Part of me wished they would all just leave me alone but… another part of me wished Carlisle would pull me from Bella now, before I did the terrible thing I was about to do.

_If I can just rein in the monster. Don't give in to it! Look into her eyes, she loves me and I love her. I can't exist without her! Don't do this! _

"Yes, Carlisle." I wanted to scream but it came out sweet and low.

"Listen to me!" It was a command that I could not deny so I listened, I listened with all my heart, "You must remember, as you bite, when you feel your venom triggered, you must not force that first response into her blood, she is too weak, it would kill her instantly. Draw it in along with her blood until it passes, then when you have controlled the venom flow, force small amounts back into her to begin the change. Then you must release her. Do you understand?"

"I understand." But somewhere during the instructions I had lost interest and focused once again on Bella's blood and how it would taste untainted by any other vampire's venom. Oh, how luscious it would be sliding hot and sweet over my tongue. And her fear. Her fear of what I was about to do was coming off of her in delicious waves so thick I could almost taste them.

_Oh my Bella, you will become mine forever._

Bella's dark frightened thoughts crashed through the block I had put up against my family, as I knew they would, and washed over me. I brought my face close enough to brush kisses on her lips.

_No please! It's all my fault! Please Edward please! Can't they see what's happening? Please Edward, no!_

Her mind's voice flowed into me as sweet musical notes that broke through the bloodlust that had taken me over. Filling every cell of my body with her love.

_Yes, Bella, you belong to me. You are my life. I will be the one to turn you as I promised. They won't let me fail._

"Carlisle, please, if you think for one second that I am losing control, please don't let me kill her. She is my life." I kissed her over and over letting my love for her take over the beast that longed for her blood. Bella's eyes were still wide and frantic with fear.

_Please Carlisle! Can't you see! He's going to kill me! He can't help it!_

"Edward, I have faith in you. But, yes, I will stay by your side. We all are here for you and Bella."

"I know."

_Edward, Please! Let Carlisle change me! I'm scared! I'm so scared!_

I opened my mind to my family. Their thoughts were filled with love for Bella and I. No matter what happened they would always love us. Their loving concern helped me fight the blood lusting monster inside of me. I reined it in and my love for Bella took over.

_Oh my sweet Isabella, there is nothing to fear._

I needed to calm her. She needed to know that I was now in control. I placed my mouth next her ear and began to sing the lullaby I had written for her the night we had spent together here in this house, in my room before Victoria attacked her.

Within the first verse her body responded immediately. Her breathing became deeper and slower, her frenzied heartbeat slowed down and steadied, her fear of what I was about to do all but disappeared. I was about to go on when Carlisle's urgent voice filled the space between us.

"Edward, there's no time. Do it now."

I could feel Bella's heart beating through my hands. It was becoming dangerously slow. I slid my left hand down her silky neck to her shoulder brushing her hair back as I went. With my right hand I turned her head to the side leaned over her and placed my lips on her jugular vein. I pressed a tender kiss on top of the pulsing river that flowed just below the surface of her translucent skin. I swallowed the excess venom that was constantly filling my mouth, readying myself as I parted my lips and placed my razor sharp teeth against her tender skin.

I bit down quickly and smoothly. Bella's thick blood shot into my mouth with unbelievable force. Though I had tasted her blood twice before, nothing could have prepared me for the taste of the untainted blood that flowed freely from her neck. I swallowed it down in a massive greedy gulp. I heard Bella give up a small breathless gasp as I struggled to swallow down the sweet nectar that pumped out hard and heavy. The taste of her rich hot blood was exquisite beyond any imagining. I let it fill me fully between each swallow. I felt her blood traveling deep inside me flowing into my empty stomach and spreading though out my body filling my empty veins as no other blood had ever done or would do again.

I was lost in a state of utter bliss and felt as if I could drink from her forever.

When I felt Bella's body go slack in my hands I took my first actual pull of her precious blood. I should have stopped and forced my venom into her at that point but I was lost and… I wanted more.

Without warning my family's thoughts hit me in unison, smashing into my brain with the force of a battering ram. I had no way of stopping them and I found I didn't want to. I was in serious need of their help, their love to bring me back from the edge I had so easily fallen over.

_Force your venom into her! Do it now, Edward! _

_You love her! You can't live without her! _

_Release her Edward! Please release her! _

_She's my best friend! Please stop! We love her, Edward. _

_Your life will be nothing without her! Please turn her, keep her forever! _

_Edward, do it now!_

I swallowed hard on my last mouthful of Bella's precious blood and then pushed against her open vein forcing my clear liquid venom down and into her body. I quickly pulled my teeth from her and with one last lick of my tongue I wiped away the blood that drizzled down her skin. The blood flow stopped and the clean wound began to seal immediately.

I lay my cheek against Bella's burning face. "Bella, Bella, Bella." I whispered her name over and over. _Please forgive me._

I could feel her body beginning to move on the piano, my venom was moving through her, burning her, changing her.

_OH MY GOD! IT HURTS SO BAD! Edward help me, please!_

Bella's thoughts were no longer the sweet melodic tones that filled me with love but the harsh discordant grating of unbearable pain

_I know my love, I know._

I scooped her up in my arms and held her tight against my chest. I turned looking to my family to guide me as Bella began violently shaking and thrashing in my arms.

_What should I do? Where should I go?_

Carlisle and Esme were right there in front of me as Alice disappeared out the front door. I heard Carlisle's Mercedes start up out in the driveway.

Carlisle reached out and touched Bella's arm, "Bella, I know you can hear me. The pain will get much worse before it subsides. Alice and Jasper are taking you to Alaska. Edward has done well and you will be with us very soon." His eyes were the color of dark smoky topaz as they locked onto mine but his voice was still so very calm, "Edward, talk to her, sing to her, keep her close in your arms."

Though she didn't smile, Esme's face couldn't hide the relief she felt, "Go now. We'll join you as soon as we can." Esme leaned down and placed a kiss on Bella's cheek.

But I needed to explain! It was so much harder than I could have ever dreamed. I felt as if I were going to break down right there as horrible dry sobs forced their way out of my chest.

"Carlisle, I couldn't…."

_I know Edward, I know. Believe me, I understand how you feel. This is not the time for a discussion._

Then I felt Bella's head shaking back and forth against my chest as her pain-filled thought came to me…

_Don't worry! I'm okay, I can handle this!_

I looked down into her face and smiled. I wondered how in the world she could possibly be trying to console me when she was in so much horrible agony? She was incredible!

"Edward, Bella will be fine. She is much stronger than any of us ever dreamed. Take her and do not leave her side for a second." Even though I knew Carlisle understood what I was going through, my lack of willpower had disappointed him. I had taken much more blood from her than was necessary, I could have killed her very easily. He had expected much better from me and for that I was so ashamed.

As I took my first step toward the door I remembered something very important. I looked down into my love's face as I spoke.

"Charlie saw me, he saw me in the sun." I couldn't keep the sad smile from my face, "Bella told him I'm an angel."

I was never farther from an angel than I was at that moment. No angel would have ever stolen her soul the way I did. In three long days Bella would no longer be the fragile human girl I had fallen so desperately in love with, she would be reborn into a woman, a vampire as strong and as unbreakable as all of our kind.

_Yes, Edward, please! Just keep talking to me!_

Each time I spoke her pain would subside. She only needed to hear the sound of my voice to soothe her. I lifted Bella close to my face and kissed her forehead.

"Yes Bella, I know." _Oh Bella, I know my love, I know and I'm so sorry. _Dry sobs came from inside shaking my entire body as I took off running out the front door to find Alice and Jasper waiting next to Carlisle's car.

xxX0Xxx

Alice was able to drive much faster than her normal speed due to the dry roads. I silently thanked Carlisle for owning this wonderful road-hugging car. With Alice at the wheel, we would arrive at our new home in no time.

Bella continued to shake so violently it took all my strength to hold her to me. I pressed tender kisses all over her face, neck and shoulders. I knew she was suffering horribly, her beautiful face was completely contorted into a mask of sheer misery. I was amazed that through all the torturous pain she never let out a sound.

Jasper had stayed away from the house when Alice told him we were on our way. It would have been hard enough on him just seeing her open wounds but to stand by and watch as I bit her would have probably pushed him too far. He didn't want to take the chance knowing how important it was that Bella join our family. I knew how hard it was on him to just be in the car with the scent of Bella's blood covering us. But he ceased his breathing and kept himself busy concentrating solely on keeping both Bella and I calm.

I began to hum Bella's lullaby and instantly felt her begin to relax in my arms. I opened my mouth and let the words to her song fill the small space between her lips and mine.

Her muscles loosened and began to soften with each line I sang to her. Soon she lay totally lax in my arms. Even her face had lost its tortured mask. I repeated the lullaby over and over as I held her close to me.

_Edward?_

I glanced up into the mirror as Alice's thought came to me.

_She's so quiet._

I nodded as I continued to sing softly.

_Thank you._

I shook my head and pinched my eyebrows together wondering what she could possibly be thanking me for.

_For saving her, for bringing her into our family, for restoring my faith. I don't know what I would've done if I'd lost you both._

Dry sobs began to wrack my body once again as the thought of what could have happened occurred to me. In only seconds, in a moment of weakness I could have destroyed the lives of everyone in my family. A wave of calm crept over me as Jasper felt my emotions shift suddenly.

Jasper turned slightly in his seat to face me as he spoke, "Edward, the sound of your voice is all Bella needs to stay calm. I really don't think what I'm doing is having a tenth of the affect that your voice does. Let her hear your voice, keep talking to her." _Remember, it will get much worse as your venom begins to burn its way through her veins so any comfort you can give her now will help._

"Thank you." I took in a breath and sighed at the prospect of her pain becoming worse than it already was.

"Talk to her Edward." Jasper gently coaxed.

I looked into my love's dark anxious eyes, "Well, where should I start? The beginning I guess." I took in a breath that filled my already saturated body with more of everything that was Bella, smiled and began, "I was born Edward Anthony Masen on June 20, 1901…"

xxX0Xxx

The hours seem to pass by in minutes and soon the sun was lying low in the horizon. I watched as Bella's injuries healed in front of my eyes, her skin knitting back together leaving no trace of trauma. The only marks that didn't seem to heal were the four scratches Jacob had inflicted on her, they faded but never really went away completely.

I had talked non-stop, telling Bella about my life, where I grew up, my father and mother, where I went to school and so on. I repeated the story of how I came to be Carlisle's adopted son and how the rest of our family joined us. Many of the stories I told were ones she already knew but not in such great detail.

I told her about places I had lived and visited, the places I would love to take her to and possibly have a home at. I talked about the changes I had seen take place in my years as a vampire, one of the most important to us being the invention of the home computer. Alice had her own comments on that subject.

"Do you remember the hours we would spend forging school records by hand?" Jasper and I both laughed at that memory. "Every time we moved and had to change schools. What a waist of time! It takes me all of about ten minutes to do it now."

I talked of the places that hadn't been touched by the advancements of technology and how we could live there for years and not see another person, vampire or human. Of course Alice couldn't live anywhere a mall wasn't within a few miles. The stories went on for hours, Alice and Jasper each telling stories of their own as I hummed or sang to keep Bella calm.

Bella was truly amazing. She trembled the entire time and would shake violently if she tried to move even a finger, but she never let out a sound. Her body was burning up as it fought my venom like an infection in her blood. Vampire venom was virulent and her body had no chance of winning that battle. She was drenched with perspiration from head to toe. Just the simple act of gently wiping her brow would send her into another severe bout of convulsive shaking so I sat still, unmoving beneath her.

When twilight settled around us outside the car windows I felt Bella's muscles begin to tighten all over. I could see tiny spots of crystal light appear on her skin. A deep moan started within her.

"It's beginning." All of a sudden I couldn't breathe. I knew what was taking place inside her body. Carlisle had explained the process to me so many years ago but my memory of it could have been two minutes ago. My venom had finally traveled throughout Bella's body and was now beginning the process of burning its way back through her veins. The worst of the pain was about to begin.

_Just stay calm Edward. I'll do what I can to help._

_Keep singing to her, talking to her. She's very strong Edward_.

Just then all hell broke loose and Bella's tortured shrieks filled the small space of the car. Her hands flew out and tore at anything she could get her hands on. She ripped at her clothes shredding her blouse and bra instantly then she started on her shorts, which disappeared into the front seat in a flash. Her fingers caught the fabric of my shirt and shredded it also. I grabbed her hands as she went for the last small piece of clothing that covered her before she was able to rip it off or tear into her own skin.

I knew what she was going through, the fire that was burning through out her body and how she wished she could rip the agonizing searing pain from her veins. Her screams tortured me and my own sobs welled up and poured out.

_What have I done? Oh Bella please forgive me!_

Then I heard Jasper's voice and thoughts as he tried to calm me.

"Edward, listen to me, Carlisle said this would happen! You have to calm yourself so you can help her. You have to keep talking to her! It does help her, I can feel it!"

Bella's body was twisting and shaking and writhing inside the protective cage of my arms. She swallowed her screams and I could feel her trying to control the violent shaking of her body. Her sweet urgent thought slowly seeped into my mind.

_Please Edward, I can bare it. Please don't… just talk… sing… anything!_

I pulled her closer and pressed her beautiful face into my chest as I worked to control my own sobbing. I could feel the waves of serenity Jasper was pouring out into the car and I was able to begin humming Bella's lullaby once again. I reached up and brushed the hair from her face and saw tears streaming from her eyes.

I felt completely powerless. I had done this to her. It was entirely my fault that she was suffering pain beyond any imagining. At that moment I wondered if she were wishing that death would take her, if she were wishing she had never met me. How could she ever love me after what I had done?

xxX0Xxx

The sun had just come up when Bella opened her eyes. Her eyes had begun to take on the crimson red cast of a newly turned vampire but to me they were still the most beautiful eyes in the world.

During the night I could feel her body heat slowly draining away and now her trembling was from the sudden drop in body temperature not from a fever. Alice had stopped the car long enough to retrieve a blanket from the trunk she had so thoughtfully brought along and helped me wrap it around Bella's nearly naked body.

"I'm so cold." Her voice was sweet, clear and as melodious as her thoughts had been. I could feel love coming off of her, sinking into my body, becoming part of me.

"Don't worry, my love, it will pass." I smiled as I brought her face to mine and pressed a gentle kiss on her lips. I slipped my tongue easily between her lips and into her soft wet mouth. I felt the electric charge that passed between us as I tasted her, teased her, loved her. Not wanting our kiss to end but knowing she still had a long way to go, I slowly pulled my lips from hers. The taste of her on my tongue, in my mouth was like something from a dream.

She was so weak, like a newborn kitten in my arms. Though I knew she was still suffering, she endured all her pain in silence. "We are halfway there. Halfway to your new home and your new life." I kissed her once more fully enjoying the feeling of our first real kisses much more than I should while she was still so weak. It was almost as if I was taking advantage of her. "You still have a way to go before the change is complete." With my fingers I gently traced the outline of her perfect angels face. "My dear sweet Bella, as long as I exist, I will never leave your side." It was a promise I would never break. Ever.


	15. Chapter 15 In The Arms of An Angel

_She was so weak, like a newborn kitten in my arms. Though I knew she was still suffering, she endured the horrendous pain in silence. "We are halfway there. Halfway to your new home and your new life." I kissed her once more, fully enjoying the feeling of our first real kisses much more than I should while she was still so weak. It was almost as if I was taking advantage of her. "You still have a way to go before the change is complete." With my fingers I gently traced the outline of her perfect angels face. "My dear sweet Bella, as long as I exist, I will never leave your side." It was a promise I would never break. Ever. _

Chapter 15

In The Arms of An Angel

It took all my strength to hold onto Bella's thrashing body as I made my way into our new home, down the short hall and into our bedroom. Alice ran ahead of me opening doors and Jasper followed behind sending out calming waves with each step. Bella had definitely developed some of her preternatural strength since first having been infected with my venom.

In the last few hours, she had been shivering from head to toe, her body still adjusting to the sudden drop in temperature. In all of her silent suffering, only once did a deep agonizing moan escape her lips. It was enough to bring a new surge of tormented sobs from my own mouth.

When I needed to move her from the car to the house, all hell broke lose once again, as it had when the venom had begun to burn its way back through her veins. Just as I lifted Bella in my arms and climbed out of the car, Alice, Jasper and I were suddenly hit with a feeling of such excruciating pain, each one of us yelled out as if we had been severely shocked. We stood staring wide-eyed at each other at first, wondering what just happened and where that feeling had emanated from. Then I heard it in their thoughts as we all came to the same conclusion… _Bella_.

I had realized within the last few hours that I could no longer hear her thoughts, but with that one spike of pain I knew we were given a taste of exactly what she was going through at that moment. Bella's face was twisted in torment, all her muscles spasming with the sudden move in position. It took all of 3 seconds to get her into the house and on our bed, but her body continued to thrash uncontrollably for the few minutes it took Alice and I to untangle her limbs from the blanket that had twisted around her.

I sang quietly to her as I finally laid her on the bed covering her with the dark silk sheet. Lying down next to her, I folded my arms around her pulling her small trembling frame into my chest. Pressing my forehead to hers I continued singing softly, repeating the verses of her lullaby over and over. Though she was still gasping for breath, her violent tremors subsided and she lay relatively still. Her lungs were still using oxygen and the beating of her heart had slowed but had not stopped entirely. The crystalline patterns in her skin were spreading more rapidly as her body was quickly changing into an immortal woman, frozen in time.

Unfortunately, from what Carlisle had described, all that was taking place inside of Bella was happening much too fast and that frightened me. A process that should take two more days to complete seemed to be happening at super speed. I had witnessed the turning process three times before, even though it was from a distance, I knew Bella's body was already showing signs of changes that didn't normally occur before the end of the second day. Only time would tell and I had no choice but to wait it out. With all that time on my hands, all that was left to me was to lay and contemplate the seriousness of what I had done.

Lying on top of the sheets, stroking her tormented face with my fingers, I wondered if she could ever find it within herself to forgive me for causing her so much pain and damning her to this new existence. Would she still see what I had no choice but to do, as a gift? Jacob had taken away the choice of when and where to turn her and left me facing a situation I was not prepared for. When and where no longer mattered once the choice became eternal existence or mortal death. What I had envisioned was something much less traumatic, somewhat romantic, maybe even erotic and under much more controlled circumstances. In addition, it would have been our wedding night.

Now I was fighting the internal battle between what I had done, what I could have done and accepting the consequences of my actions when the truth of everything that occurred became known. And, it would all become known… it had to. For how could I ever exist happily holding in all this torturing guilt?

My families love for her, for me and for what our being together meant to them had reined in the raging predator that was at her throat. In my own frantic desperation to keep her with me, to not lose her to a place I could never go, I had forced my venom into her almost lifeless body. In the end, it was not only my family and my never-ending love that saved her, but also my incredible selfishness and need to possess her for all eternity that had kept me from draining her down to her last drop. I would need to confess all this and more to Bella before I took one more thing from her. Confess everything before I could share this bed with her as her husband.

After she knew and understood the truth about how I had almost killed her, how I had allowed the horrid monster that I truly am take over and almost devour her completely, would she still feel the same? Could she still love me even after I had so thoroughly betrayed her trust?

I had unleashed the bloodthirsty beast and enjoyed the taste of her sweet intoxicating blood. A taste that even now lingered on my tongue. Her blood would flow in my veins for days, maybe weeks, strengthening me, sustaining me. Her fragrant floral scent still swamped my senses. Her dried blood was on my hands and I still wore the pants she had bled on as I ran holding her in my arms from our meadow to the house.

Carefully sliding from the bed, I stood and removed my pants, throwing them next to the door as I quickly headed to the bathroom to wash away the tell-tale reminders of what had taken place over the last day. Her blood had soaked through to my boxers but only a few small spots here and there. Studying my reflection in the vast mirror, Bella's blood had been smeared over much of my chest, arms, hands and face. I looked disgustingly macabre, like some murdering psycho from a teen slasher movie.

After turning on the water and grabbing a washcloth, I hurriedly scrubbed at the blood that coated my skin, I really needed to shower but that would have to wait. I refused to leave her alone for any length of time.

'_Bella will need a shower also…' _I smiled at my reflection in the mirror._ 'Something to look forward to.'_

Grabbing a clean washcloth, I wet it, rung it out and ran back to Bella's side as quickly as possible. Standing at the edge of the bed, I slowly leaned her toward me, sweeping her mahogany hair onto the pillow and tenderly wiped the caked on blood from her back. The gaping exit wound that had allowed so much of her precious life to seep away from her had healed without leaving a scar of any kind. I ran back to the bathroom to rinse the washcloth and within seconds, I had returned to the bed. I slowly rolled her onto her back, keeping her covered with the sheet as I washed the small amount of blood that had dried around the bullet entry point.

As I wiped away the last of her blood, I noticed the only scars that remained… four long pale scratches on her left shoulder very close to her throat.

Werewolf scars.

I traced my fingers along their length and could feel the heat that still radiated from them. A deep rumble built in my throat as I felt the anger I had buried inside for the first time since I had carried Bella from the meadow. Suddenly, I could hear a growl hidden in the back of Bella's throat and watched as her lips curled into a snarl.

'_Oh my God! She's feeling my anger.'_

Immediately I stepped back from her and cleared my mind of all the resentment and anger I was projecting. Her body relaxed and her mouth returned to a grimace of pain.

'_She feels my emotions… and we felt her pain. Will she be able to manipulate the feelings of others as Jasper does?'_

That was a question that couldn't be answered until her change was complete. I stood wondering if I should call Jasper in to see what he was feeling from her now and at the very least, ask him if he has some clean clothes, pants at least, I could borrow before lying back on the bed. I knew Alice had thrown a couple bags of clothing together before leaving Forks, I only hoped she managed to grab a few pieces of clothing for me. I threw the washcloth next to the door with my pants and looked down at my love lying so helpless on the huge bed.

'_I won't worry about pants yet, she still has a long way to go before I'll be needing anything other than what I'm wearing now.'_

I knew Jasper or Alice would be in to check on us again and I would bring it up at that time. I wrestled with the notion of how inappropriate it would be to lie next to Bella in her weakened state with both of us in nothing more than our undergarments, but I decided I would add this little discretion to my already long list of confessions.

Lying down beside her as I had before, I carefully wrapped my arms around her doing my best not to jostle her any more than was necessary. I sang softly as I pressed my forehead to hers, catching each of her shallow breathes as they blew cool and clean over my tongue. The taste of her essence was enough to cause venom to flow freely, coating my mouth, but the all-consuming thirst for her blood no longer burned my throat. And now that I lay next to her, cradling her in my arms, the painful mask that covered her exquisite face smoothed out a little more.

Just then, I realized that some miserable part of me wanted this memory of lying with her as she turned into a creature of myth. That part of me longed to hear her last breath and feel her last heartbeat. Longed to remember lying with her in this huge bed and feeling her nearly naked body pressed against mine.

All that I knew or rather thought I knew about myself was nothing compared to all the things I had learned about myself from the beautiful angel in my arms. The woman, I hoped with all my heart, would still love me enough to spend eternity with me.

I had never dreamed I could love someone so completely and without abandon. For almost a century, outside of my family, I was a world unto myself. Now I held the world in my hands.

Slowly, moving only my head, I placed a gentle kiss on Bella's cool mouth. As my lips touched hers, a tingle of electricity spread through me, flashing almost instantaneously from my lips down my throat and spreading out through my torso to my limbs ending in my fingers and toes. Bella's body also seemed to shudder from head to toe. I smiled as I ran my tongue lightly over her sweet lips before moving back to touch my forehead to hers once more. For just a moment, her mouth curled into a small smile.

"Such… a … tease." Even though it came out as a jagged whisper, her voice was the most wonderful sound I had heard for hours.

xxX0Xxx

Barely two hours had passed when Bella's breathing became extremely shallow, her heartbeat slowed to an almost imperceptible rate. Her muscles relaxed and I was able to pull her body closer, feeling each of her small curves fill in the corresponding spaces in me. As she pulled in each breath, I could feel the slight rise and fall of her chest against mine. I laid my ear against her neck where I could feel the beating of her heart as it forced the thick venom throughout her veins.

The turning phases were still happening much too fast. This phase was not supposed to occur until close to the end. I pulled my head back to look into her face. It was no longer twisted into a painful mask but had taken on an almost peaceful appearance.

Suddenly at vampire speed, Bella's arms shot out around me holding me in place, her fingers fiercely digging into my back. Her eyes slowly opened to reveal the bright crimson red of a newly turned vampire, but they still held all the love she felt for me deep within them.

"Edward…" Her voice was strong and clear and mesmerizing in it's beauty and for one fleeting second I felt her undying love wash over me, sink into to my every pore, into my every cell as she give up her human life, her human soul to me.

'_Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!'_

The realization that I wasn't ready for her to not be the delicate human girl I fell so hopelessly in love with hit me like a sledgehammer.

Time stood still as I watched my beloved draw in her final human breath. Nothing else in the world matter at that moment. She exhaled her sweetness into my face and her evanescent human heart beat only once more in her chest before ceasing for all time.

She closed her eyes and lay perfectly still and relaxed.

I crushed her to me, holding her tightly in my arms as I sobbed into her shoulder and prayed.

'_Bella, please forgive me.'_

xxX0Xxx

I knelt on the carpet next to the bed looking at Bella's angelic face, her glowing alabaster skin. It was amazing watching the changes take place. Large patches of her marbled skin were sparkling as if a beautiful crystal glow were shining from inside of her. Small tremors would occur occasionally otherwise, she lay absolutely still.

Both Alice and Jasper had come in periodically to check on her and were astonished at the rapid progression of her change from human to vampire. They had each taken turns calling Carlisle to keep him informed on her progress and how I was holding up through it all. Now that Bella had slipped into the last sleep she would ever know before becoming aware, I let my mind wander away from the punishing self-loathing and doubt to a state of eager anticipation.

The dread of confessing all my weaknesses had passed. I couldn't wait to admit all the terrible things I had done and beg on my knees for her forgiveness. The waiting was excruciating and I was impatient to be either punished or forgiven. And if my punishment were to leave and never return, to never touch her or kiss her again, to spend the rest of my miserable existence in solitude only to gaze on her beauty from afar, I would do it. I wouldn't go gladly and I wouldn't go far, but I would leave all the same.

Nervous energy filled me and releasing it by pacing the room as I usually did was out of the question. I couldn't possibly leave Bella's side even if it were only a few feet away. I needed to touch her every second. The fear that she would never allow me to touch her again once she heard the truth was unbearable. Fear that my betrayal would shatter her heart was rapidly overwhelming all of my common sense.

Panic was beginning to take me over and as if on cue, I heard Alice's voice as she talked on her cell phone up in the room she and Jasper had claimed as their own. Within seconds, both Alice and Jasper were standing on the other side of the bedroom door.

'_Edward, it's Esme, she wants to talk to you.'_

I sighed and shook my head against the silky sheet as I began to feel Jasper's calming waves come over me. I loved Esme as if she were my own mother but at that moment she was the very last person I wanted to talk to. Esme would be emotional, and whether joyous or sad, I was not ready for this conversation with her.

"Come in." I reluctantly replied.

Alice and Jasper stepped silently into the room. Alice handed me the phone and sat down on the floor next to me with her back against the bed. I brought the phone up to my ear not knowing what to expect since I couldn't hear Esme's thoughts through the phone. Hiding my feelings was something I never had to do before I met Bella. After she burst into my life, I could do nothing but wear my feelings out on my sleeve and Esme would know my state of mind after the first words left my mouth.

"Esme, Bella's doing fine." The words rushed out of my mouth. More than anything, I wanted to keep her from talking, from sharing her feelings.

"Edward…"

"Really, it's amazing. She's turned much faster than normal but she's fine." If there was some way I could have gotten away with hanging up on her, I would have done it right that second, but she was determined to have her say.

"Edward, we love you so much. You know that don't you?"

Her words sank in deep as I broke down completely. Only Esme could bring out my pitiful feelings with her gentle loving words.

"Why? How could you still call me your son—still love me in any way?" The truth of what I had done was about to spill out, no matter how hard I tried to keep it in, "I would have killed her." It was spoken in the barest of whispers but I knew Esme heard each repentant word.

Just saying the words aloud made the actuality of the event even more real. I almost killed the one person I loved more than anything in the world, more than my own life. The one person who loved and accepted me without question. Who put her full trust in the fact that I promised never to harm her, she trusted me with her very life.

Esme's quiet sobs came through the little ear piece loud and clear. In the background, I heard Carlisle gently ask for the phone.

"No, Carlisle!" In all the years we had been together, I had never heard her so upset. "Edward, listen to me, it doesn't matter! Do you understand? None of it matters now! I will not allow you to indulge in a feast of self-loathing over this one mistake! This one moment of weakness! Please don't tear our family apart again." Her frantic pleading ripped at my heart, "Please, Edward, please don't put me through that hell again."

"I'm so sorry, Esme, please forgive me." I had vowed to never hurt Esme by leaving again. How easily I forgot my promises. I could only hope that she would hear my sincerity and my regret for having been so weak.

"I always forgive you, and always will." Her sobs had settled for the moment. "This is no different. My love for you has not changed and never will." She had regained some of her composure.

"I know and thank you."

"Please don't make any decisions until we get there, until we can all be together, the whole family."

I let out a little chuckle as I lifted my head and looked at Alice and Jasper, "So you can all gang up on me." Both Alice and Jasper smiled and nodded. With them here to watch over Bella and I, I wouldn't have a chance to make any rash decisions.

Finally, I heard Esme laugh, "You catch on quick."

"I love you." I was not only saying this to Esme but also to Alice and Jasper. I knew they were only looking out for Bella and I.

"I know. Hold on, Carlisle wants to speak to you." I waited and within a second Carlisle's voice came on.

"Edward, I know you're feeling multitude of mixed emotions right now."

"You have no idea." I managed to smile.

"Yes, I do." His laughter was almost contagious, "Edward, come on, I've been through this four times before, only I was the one feeling the pain you feel now. I know you're questioning yourself—did you do the right thing? You know the answer is yes, yes you did the right thing, you saved her life, traded it actually for an eternity with you. You did it for the most selfish reason of all… because you _love_ her." I could imagine the look on his face when I claimed he had no idea what I was going through. Yes, he had turned four members of our family but what I felt now was not about them, it was about me and the fact that I had lost control. He had believed I was something more than I am. Stronger.

"Carlisle, if it weren't for all of you, I don't think I could have stopped. I would have lost her." My head sank down against the bed as I squeezed my loves hand, "You put your faith in me and when the time came, I proved how truly weak I am."

"I never lost faith in you, Edward. Besides, your situation was much different from any I've had to deal with. Of all the members of our family I've turned, not one of you called out to me as Bella called to you. I didn't crave or desire your blood over all else. For you, Bella was the truest of tests."

"Then I failed miserably. If you hadn't intervened…" I heard him laugh through the phone again. Even though some part of me felt like a child being scolded, I knew he was trying to make me see how ridiculous my behavior was.

"Edward, no matter how much you would like to believe it, you didn't fail. Look at her! It's what you wanted or your would have never brought her home. I can imagine how hard it was for you to take each step closer to the house with her blood pouring from her body. It would have been so simple for you to stop and drink from her, drain her, but you didn't. You wanted our help even if you couldn't ask for it at the time."

For a moment, there was silence on the line, and then Carlisle began again in a more serious tone. "The visions Alice chose to share with you were worst-case scenarios and even though she didn't share all she had seen, there was no way any of us would have stood back and watched you lose your precious Bella."

My eyes flashed up at Alice. What she had done by showing me only visions of Bella's death was the most brutal sort of shock therapy possible and all I could feel was a deep loving appreciation for her. She had warned me several times that when the time came, she would do whatever was necessary to keep me from killing Bella and she had kept her promise.

"In the end, all that matters is that Bella is with you now. Do you understand?" And with that statement, I knew the discussion was closed. Lamenting what could have been would do me no good. Carlisle would never bring it up again and neither would any other member of my family. All was forgiven. It was the past and though I would never forget, I realized it was a confession I would not burden Bella with until she was ready to hear it. To unload my guilt on her the moment she became aware, would very likely, do more harm than good.

"Yes, I understand." Bella would never hear of what happened from any members of our family. Nevertheless, if she ever asked me, I would tell her the truth and pray that she would accept it, and forgive me.

"Good. How is Bella doing?"

"Everything that you had described and that I have observed in the past has taken place much faster than I've ever seen. Her breathing and heart stopped two hours ago and her skin is already beginning to show signs of rapidly turning."

"Alice and Jasper told me she hasn't made hardly a sound since you brought her in the house."

"She did speak once and right before her heart stopped she opened her eyes and said my name."

"She was coherent enough to speak? That's amazing!" Carlisle seemed stunned and I didn't recall any of us having the ability to speak through the change either. "What did she say?"

"She said I was a tease." A smile spread across my face.

There was a long silence on the line then Carlisle ask quietly, "What were you doing, Edward?"

'_That didn't come out right! Could he really think I would take advantage of her while she was totally incapacitated!'_

"Nothing!" I blurted out. "I… I only kissed her!" I heard him laugh, as I hadn't heard in a long time.

"Calm down, Edward! I'm sure it was all very innocent!" He replied enjoying my embarrassment to the fullest. "Well, Esme and I will be there as soon as we wrap everything up here."

All of a sudden, a thought came to me, "Carlisle, is Charlie looking for her?"

"Yes," In one second, his tone had gone from jovial to somber, "Right now, I believe his police training is all that is helping him through his grief. He's been following all the proper steps to find a missing person, and of course, there's no trace of her. He hasn't found our house yet and by the time he does, we will be long gone." Carlisle sighed into the phone. "He did go out to arrest Jacob Black for shooting her, but ended up only questioning him there on the reservation. From what I understand, the only thing Jacob confirmed is that he _suspected_ that you were not human and from overhearing Charlie's phone conversation with Bella's mother, Jacob refused to answer his questions, but also refused to deny any of them either. So, as a result, Charlie will continue to search for her, but… I believe he has already accepted the explanation you and Bella left him with; you are an angel."

'_How ironic._' I thought as I squeezed Bella's hand and brought it to my lips. I could not imagine the pain Charlie and Renée were going through, the pain of losing their only daughter to someone who would prove to be nothing more than an enigma.

"Carlisle, is there some way we could watch over her parents for awhile?" I shook my head and sighed. "We could have made this so much easier for them if that dog hadn't interfered." A small growl slipped from between my lips.

"I've already thought about that and I'll discuss it with you when we get there."

"That's fine." Of course, Carlisle would already have a plan. He had probably formulated it the day he promised to turn her himself.

"Edward, you have given Esme and I a precious new daughter, thank you. We'll see you both very soon."

After closing the little silver phone, I handed it back to Alice. How could I ever thank her enough? What could I do to show her how much I appreciated everything she has done for me… and for Bella? Right then, all I could do was smile.

"Thanks Alice, thanks for everything." I looked down and realized I was still sitting in nothing more than a pair of boxers, "Please tell me you packed some clothes for me." I chuckled.

"Of course I did!" She stood and smiled down at me, "I've had bags packed for both you and Bella since the morning Victoria bit her. I knew something was coming so I prepared the best I could." She turned and sprinted from the room in a flash carrying away my soiled pants as she went. Jasper let out a great sigh.

"Well, I feel a hell of a lot better now." Jasper was grinning from ear to ear. _'Glad you finally got over yourself.'_

"What?" His infectious good feelings made me want to laugh aloud in what was still an otherwise solemn occasion.

"Alice insisted that I let you grieve in your own way, let you get over it on your own, even if it meant that I had to feel like crap for hours."

'_Grieving. That is exactly what I've been doing. What is wrong with me? Grieving? I should be rejoicing!' _I thought.

As I looked at my one and only love lying pale and beautiful wrapped in royal blue silk sheets on _our_ bed in _our_ room, my heart soared as if it had come to life inside my chest. I was alive with happiness and if I could have cried tears of joy, they would have been raining down my cheeks at that very moment.

Alice rushed into the room carrying a pair of pants and tossed them on the foot of the bed. Jasper took her hand and pulled her toward the door.

"Come on, everything's fine in here and I feel much better now, so let's check this place out." He tugged at her hand as she turned back to me.

"Edward, you won't be needing those pants for awhile." The curve of her smile was gentle and knowing. "Go ahead, lay with her." She pulled her hand from Jaspers grasp, _'Nothing would make her happier than to wake with you by her side. We won't intrude again.' _

She leaned down and kissed my forehead before dancing lightly back to Jasper and through the bedroom door.

"But… she'll want to feed." I was confused. I needed to be prepared to take her out to quench the thirst that would undoubtedly overwhelm her as it overwhelmed all newly turned vampires.

Alice turned back and smiled and just then, she shared a glimpse of the vision she had in her mind—a glimpse that lasted only a few seconds…

'_Bella and I, a pale island in the middle of a dark blue sea, my body joined within hers swaying together as a storm of silky waves lapped and swirled around us.'_

The sight was enough to literally take my breath away and send flashes of electricity running up and down my spine.

Then I heard Alice softly speak as she pulled the door closed, "Eventually."

'Eventually?' 

An urgent aching had come forth suddenly wiping away any thought of Bella's hunger. I stood and grasped the sheet that covered my beloved's beautiful curves, pulling it back uncovering her sparkling skin. Her arm lay restfully across her small breasts, hiding them from view. Her body was perfect in every way. She was a goddess of twilight, a glorious angel of the night. As I took in the sight of her nakedness I realized I could not even begin to fight 4 million years of evolution as every part of my anatomy that made me a man came painfully to life. I ached for her, to touch her, to bond with her, to share all that I have, to become one with her in the most basic ways.

I walked around the bed, taking in the sight of her from every angle before climbing in beside her. After wrapping my arms around her, I placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder and then waited silently for her to awaken.

xxX0Xxx

The snow-covered mountains outside our window had taken on a beautiful orange-pink hue from the setting sun. I lay under the sheet, my body pressed fully against hers, my arms encompassing Bella's new vampire form when suddenly a wave of awareness swept through me. She had finally awoken. She lay perfectly still for the longest moment then I felt her chest rise as she took in her first breath.

"Bella?"

She turned easily inside the cradle my arms had made for her. Her deep crimson eyes met mine locking me in her wondrous gaze. Amazement was the first emotion to flow slowly over me as her eyes traveled over every inch of my face and she breathed in deeply taking in the scents that surrounded her. Her smile was dazzling and her lips so inviting.

"Do you know who I am?" I asked softly.

Her head gave the slightest nod. "My only love, Edward Cullen."

I felt delirious with happiness. Nothing in my wildest fantasies could ever have prepared me for this moment in time. Against all odds, the one girl I was madly, deeply and passionately in love with was finally mine. There were no words that could fully describe all that I felt as I lay in the arms of this divine angel. The one woman in the entire world who was meant for me alone was here with me now and forever. No longer the fragile human I had been terrified I would break at any second. She was just as strong and immortal as I and now I was free to touch her, kiss her, share everything that I am with her… if she would still have me.

"And you are my life, Isabella Cullen. From this moment on, all that I am and all that I am to become, I give to you with a love that shall never die. I promise yours will be the only name I cry out in the night and yours will be the only eyes I look into at dawn. This and everything that is mine to give, I give to you freely for I have become yours forever."

The waves of joy coming off of her sank deep within me as a small sob escaped her perfect mouth increasing my desire that much more. But, until she fed, I would have to settle for nothing more than a kiss.

I whispered softly into her beautiful face, "I believe it is customary to kiss the bride at this point."

She seemed fascinated by my face and I knew she was seeing my world as she had never seen it before, as a vampire sees the world.

"Is this the beginning of forever, Edward?" Her melodic voice was the sweetest song I had ever heard, it drew me in, flowed through me, binding my heart and my life forever to hers.

"Yes, it is." There was no stopping the crazy grin that covered my face. I was still the lovesick puppy I had been for so many months and that would never change. Bella tilted her face away from me and if she had still been human, she would have been blushing a deep rosy pink as she gave me that look, the look I had cherished so much. That shy diminutive look from under her thick black lashes, the one that melted my icy heart on many occasions. I felt her take in a small breath and then she spoke in a whisper.

"If you love me… then love me."

'Just one kiss…' I thought. 'Just one before her thirst hits.' The second I touched my lips to hers, electricity shot through me once more but with an urgency I had not felt before. It was just as Esme had described, the feeling of lightning that spread out from our lips racing swiftly through my veins, hard and powerful. Bella parted her lips willingly to my probing tongue. Her mouth no longer felt as if it were on fire from a fever, but cool, silky and wet with the sweet essence of her delicious blood carried within the venom that now coated the inside of her luscious mouth like saliva. Her scent became so much stronger, so much more intense as the lightning built within her. 

We kissed as if we were dying, as if it were not the first kiss but the last kiss we would ever share. We drank each other in, tasting and teasing and licking as the lightning flashed through us steadily building in its intensity as if a massive storm was brewing inside each of us. What I was feeling at that moment was already stronger than what I had accidentally shared with my family during the thunderstorm in Forks only a few weeks ago.

I slowly rolled Bella onto her back and lay my body on top of hers never releasing her lips for a second. I kissed her deeply and passionately absorbing all the desire she was throwing off in waves. I wanted nothing more at that moment than to share all my energy with her, but I could feel she was beginning to hold back. She wasn't ready to feel the pleasure I was so willing to share. We were both gasping for breath when I pulled my lips from hers. Still, she fought the rising excitement.

"Let it go, Bella, release it, share yourself with me." I begged. "Feel me, Bella, feel all I have to give."

She closed her eyes and I felt her give in and release her energy. I buried my face against her velvety neck as we arched our bodies into one another in a slow seductive grinding motion. Our moans of pleasure filled the room as the lightning built to a crescendo. Then in what seemed to last hours, but I knew only lasted minutes, our energies burst forth and we cried out repeatedly in the sheer ecstasy of it.

We lay there holding each other as the after shocks continued to roll through us like thunder until slowly, they began to subside. I lifted my head and looked into my love's eyes. They were wide and bright with excitement and wonder.

"Was that supposed to happen?" She asked through sweet panted breaths.

"Yes, Bella." I was also finding it difficult to catch my breath.

"But… we were only… kissing." I could feel how happy and confused she was.

I wondered, _'If sharing with her was this intense while kissing… what could it possibly be like while making love? I can't even begin to imagine. But that will have to wait until after she has fed.'_

But… where was her thirst, her hunger? Of all the emotions she was putting off, I could feel only want and need and desire. I should be able to feel her hunger or at the very least, see it in her eyes.

"Bella?"

"Yes, Edward," She touched my face with her hand, sliding her thumb softly over my lower lip. "Yes." Her voice was a warm dark sexy tone and I could hardly resist its pull.

'_Yes? No. No, I won't start something that we have no chance of finishing. Her hunger will surface and we both can wait until it does.' _

I would watch and wait, and give her some small amount of pleasure until the time came.

Her hand moved slowly across my cheek leaving a trail of tingles wherever she touched me. Taking her hand in mine, I brought it to my mouth and kissed each fingertip before moving into her silky palm. I swirled my tongue in the sensitive center as I watched her dark red eyes become brighter. Her breathing quickened as I kissed the inside of her wrist, then licked at the flesh that yesterday was a fragile as spun glass. I breathed in her scent, which was still as intoxicating if not more so, and as I exhaled onto the moist patch of skin, her entire body shivered in delight.

A teasing smile spread on my face as I brushed my lips up the inside of her arm to the velvety crease of her elbow. I kissed it, licked it, and grazed my teeth over the sweet flesh. The urge to bite her was still strong though it was not from thirst and knowing that I could nip at her and not cause her harm sent a thrill straight through to my very core. With that thrill, a rush of desire built within Bella's body. Everything about her, every feeling she was pouring into me was now sensual and playful.

"Edward…please." Her request was no more than a whispered pant of air.

How could I deny her any longer? Was this leading up to the moment in Alice's vision? Closing my eyes and I searched my memory for the details I had missed.

'_Bella and I… the light filtering into the room is only a reflection of pale purple off the mountains outside our window. The sun has just gone below the horizon, but the sky still held a small amount of light, twilight.'_ I searched the vision room for anything that would give me a clue as to when this was taking place. _'The bed, the carpet, no sign of clothing thrown off in haste. The only piece of clothing on the floor is…'_

Opening my eyes, I looked out the window toward the mountain and the pale purple of twilight was almost upon its snow-covered slopes.

"Eventually." I whispered as I gave into Bella's wishes. I rolled onto my back and swiftly removed the only piece of clothing I was still wearing, tossing them over the side of the bed and knew that they had landed just as they lay in Alice's vision. Rolling onto my side, I looked into Bella's deep loving eyes, so full of passion and slowly slid my hand down and over each of her exquisite curves, not stopping until I reached the last piece of clothing she had not ripped from her body during her change, then easily slipped them down her supple legs.

Bella's seductive gaze held me. If there was hunger within her, it was only the hunger to share all she had with me and take all that I had to offer. As I looked into her eyes my hand traveled slowly back up the length of her body slipping to the inside of her silky thigh, caressing her, touching the places on her and in her that, up until that moment, I had only dreamt of exploring.

The sweetest moans came from deep inside her as her hands came to rest on either side of my face pulling my lips toward hers. As I captured her luscious mouth with mine, her arms slipped under me and around my waist and with her new found vampire strength she easily pulled me up and over moving her legs apart so I could settle between them.

I pulled my lips from hers and smiled as I looked into her crimson eyes.

"Are you reading my thoughts?" I whispered, truly wondering if she could.

"I don't need to read your thoughts, I… feel what your body wants and… I want you also." She nipped lightly at my chin then at my lower lip as her strong legs wrapped around mine causing a tremor of excitement to flow through me. I raised my body up with my arms and came forward slipping slowly into the one silky place that was meant for me alone. As I sank deeper into her, a dark sensual moan escaped from between my lips as my body shuddered from pure pleasure. Bella's body began to quiver uncontrollably beneath me as her moans echoed mine.

At that second, two separate people who could not have been anymore different when we met, were now one. We had become whole in every sense of the word, in the most basic and profound way.

She arched her back into me as I began to move slowly and smoothly and deeply within her. Already the lightning was beyond what I had experienced before, as if I were standing on the edge of a cliff and with just one more step, I would go tumbling over the precipice.

My entire body felt buffeted by the intensity of Bella's desire. Through Bella's power, we both thoroughly enjoyed each new sensation as the languorous waves of our passion moved us closer to that one moment of ultimate sharing.

Bella's eyes shimmered with excitement. All the love I felt for her was mirrored there in those dark red depths as she moved her body in rhythm with mine. Suddenly as my energy reached it's peak I soared over the edge. All my senses were overloaded as Bella's energy blasted into me, rocketing me even further beyond any describable form of pleasure. I wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time, but all that came from my lips was a strangled moan that lasted for minutes as the waves of lightning passed between us.

The intensity of our sharing stayed constant as we held each other in an unbreakable embrace and as the feeling began to dissipate, I was able to drag in ragged gasping breaths. Bella's entire body vibrated wonderfully beneath me as her hands moved slowly up and down the length of my back.

Bracing myself on my elbows, I lay my weight upon her, fully enjoying the tremors that traveled between us, as I pressed small loving kisses on her perfect mouth. I traced the curves of her angelic face with my thumbs and laced my fingers through her soft mahogany hair. When she spoke, it was the sound of angels singing.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you Edward Cullen?"

Bella's happiness filled me, completed me. Though I could no longer hear her thoughts, I could feel every emotion she felt as if they were my own. Her deep unconditional love, her willingness to explore and feel every intimate part of our sharing, her passion and insatiable desire only heightened my already acute senses and made me want to please her that much more, to keep every promise I had ever made to her. Everything about her was extremely tempting and totally irresistible, her scent, her taste, the feel of her skin next to mine. Because of my need to have her forever, to possess her totally, we were now able to completely give in to our desires with abandon.

Everything my life had been before she streaked across my dark night like a shining meteor was swept away. Bella was my perfect mate, my wife in every sense of the word. How I ever existed for a century without having her by my side was beyond any comprehension. She was my life, my reason to exist, my hope, my strength and without the benefit of hearing her thoughts, she was once again my greatest mystery.

As I took in every feature of her dazzling face, my mind drifted back to the first time she declared her love for me. To the beautiful meadow where so many major turning points that forever changed our destinies took place. I could hear her words in my mind as if she had just murmured them in my ear…

"_You already know how I feel, of course, I'm here… which, roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you."_

"Yes, Isabella Cullen, I believe I finally have a perfect understanding of how much you truly love me."

It was hard to believe that I had ever questioned damning her to this eternal life now that my body was one with hers, our very souls intertwined through this physical joining. I seriously wondered, how could Heaven be anymore glorious?

_**Again, as in 'Becoming Whole', I borrowed a line from the great & powerful Stephen King and his wonderful book 'Wizard and Glass'. Once again, thanks to my wonderful beta, s'blue, for the many times she has read and re-read this and couldn't wait until I got Edward's pants off. **_

_**My dear, dear Shelley... this one's for you!**_


	16. Chapter 16 A Dangerous Combination

Chapter Sixteen

A Dangerous Combination

Never having shared myself in any way with another before Bella left me pleasantly surprised… no… amazed that I was so able to please her.

In the three days since she had become aware, a full vampire, we found the need for words between us was almost unnecessary. I knew exactly how she felt and what she wanted or needed every second. It was surprising to me that her feelings seemed to convey more truth even than her thoughts. Her every desire washed over me and I willingly reacted according to her wishes.

Each time we shared ourselves was more undeniably exquisite than the last. Just the act of lying with her, naked, in our bed, wrapped in each other's arms was beyond description. With her love encompassing me, I could have spent eternity with her just as we lay.

Still, in the back of my mind, I waited for her hunger to show itself. I waited to feel it. If she were to feel the need to satisfy her instinct to feed, to hunt in anyway, I would know without a doubt for my own thirst had been quenched beyond imagining by her precious blood.

Now my only desire was for her body. The seemingly never-ending pain I endured for her sweet human blood was completely gone. My throat no longer burned, my thoughts no longer drifted suddenly to the promise of gratification her blood had always offered. My body was thoroughly saturated with her down to the smallest cell and with her feelings permeating the very air I breathed; it had become the most wonderfully erotic and joyous bonding far exceeding my wildest fantasies.

Lying in her arms, soaking in all she had to give me, I let my mind wander …

'_Why are so many things about her different? Her rapid change, her non-existent hunger, the fact that her mind is closed off to me once again?'_

Bella's fingers gently touched my face.

"What are you thinking about?" Her voice had changed along with the rest of her physiology. Even though it was still her voice in every way, it was also so much like the voice of her thoughts, so deeply moving and melodic as it flowed over me flooding my senses with sweet music. I pulled her closer, tighter, feeling every inch of her skin where it touched mine.

"About you, my love."

'_Can she feel emotions such as curiosity?' _

Nevertheless, it was the truth. I knew then, that keeping things from her would be almost impossible now and if I had any plans in the future to keep secrets from her, I had better think it over carefully and be prepared to make up for anything that I may do.

Enjoying these small hours with her and not wanting to bring on her thirst by mere suggestion, I quickly changed the subject, "Would you like to take a shower?"

Though she didn't answer, her eyes brightened at my suggestion.

It seemed even though my offer was tempting, she was content to stay just as we were, reluctant to leave the comfort of our huge bed. Knowing it was something that we would both enjoy, with a little coaxing on my part, I was sure she would be tempted.

"Not by yourself, of course." Her crimson eyes sparkled with an inner fire.

"Edward, you may be starting something here that could lead to a seriously bad habit." Her smile was so sinfully sexy I wondered how she had kept it hidden from me for so long.

"And what would that be?" I asked, playing along with her, entranced by her smile and her fiery eyes.

"I may never want to shower alone again." Her teeth grazed the edge of my chin playfully.

"And that would be a bad thing?"

She pulled me even closer, her breath drifted across my ear as she whispered, "Never."

Wrapping the dark silky sheet around her naked body as she glided from the bed, she took my hand and let me lead her into the bathroom.

She stood in the middle of the room watching my every movement as if she had never seen me before, which in my very naked state, she had not. I smiled happily at the thought that I was so completely free with her now. Free to be who I really am, the man who loves her, without any boundaries.

Opening the large glass shower door, I reached in and turned the water on full and hot.

I turned to see her still gazing at me. Amazement, love and desire floated on the steam that quickly filled the room. It was a moment I wished I could hear her thoughts again. What was she thinking? I could certainly feel everything she was feeling and that in itself was a most wondrous thing. Smiling to myself, I thought about how Bella's emotions defined our relationship and how stupid I had been to ever question her capacity for love.

'_This must be something similar to what Alice feels when Jasper looks at her. No wonder she can't help but love him so much. It is a strange and wonderful power to emote feelings in this way. Maybe that's why their relationship is so different from Rosalie and Emmett's. There would be little need for the constant physical show of affection when Alice is able to actually feel the love Jasper holds for her.'_

Now that I had experienced the physical part of our relationship, no amount of love that Bella could give off would make me desire her touch any less. If anything, I only wanted more and so far, Bella felt the same as I did…more.

With the royal blue waves wrapped around her creamy milk white skin and the excess fabric fanning out behind her like the train of a wedding gown, she was the most gorgeous being I had ever seen, absurdly so. It was curious to me that she would feel the need to cover herself after I had seen, touched and tasted almost every inch of her luscious body.

Again, she must have felt my curiosity because her body reacted just as it did when she was a human – her head tilted downward, her eyes flashed a shy look in my direction under her thick black lashes and her mouth curved into that wonderful smile I adored. The only thing missing was the rosy pink blush that would fill her cheeks.

A sudden pang of longing hit me deep inside, a desperate longing for that part of her that drew me to her like a moth to a flame, her sweet human blood.

Lost in the moment, letting it take me and as memories of her beautiful blushing face flashed at light speed through my brain, I began to notice the expression on my love's face.

All the joy and happiness I had seen in it only seconds before had been wiped away and replaced with a look of longing that could only have reflected my own. In remembering that purely human reaction, her ability to blush, I was hurting her.

If she could feel my emotions as quickly and as powerfully as I felt hers then I would need to be much more careful with my feelings, at least for a while. I hoped that whatever this was that she had acquired during her change would be something that could be focused and controlled.

However, at that moment I needed to get the focus back on our shower. I stepped over to her in vampire speed knowing she would catch my every movement with her new eyes, took her hands in mine and drew her forward, watching each step she took as the silky waves of fabric receded down her pale skin and into a puddle on the floor.

My breath caught in my chest as I gazed at her perfection.

"Isabella, you are perfectly exquisite." My words barely a whisper over the sounds of water flowing in the shower.

Pulling her into my arms, I picked her up and carried her into the hot steaming shower closing the door behind us.

We stood holding each other as the water rained down from all sides. Slowly, I ran my hands over and around every curve of her strong body, feeling the definition of every muscle that lay under her satiny skin. Her breasts, though much denser than before, were still soft and supple under my kneading hands.

I lifted her hair up and away from her body and felt the water saturate it, turning it a shade darker. Esme had very thoughtfully stocked the shower with all kinds of shampoo and body wash which I was more than willing to use. Among the products on the shelf was Bella's favorite strawberry shampoo. Taking the bottle down, I squeezed an amount into my palm, rubbed my hands together and proceeded to work it into Bella's hair as I placed small kisses on her smiling mouth.

"Mmm, my favorite." She whispered.

She kept her arms wrapped securely around my waist as I gently worked up a lather and smoothed it through to the ends of her hair. She leaned back slightly to allow the water to rinse the shampoo out. Her small breasts pulled away from my chest and I eagerly cupped them in my large hands stroking my thumbs gently over her small harden buds. Her enjoyment and desire filled the small room and I could plainly see how taking a shower together would become a habit I would gladly give into.

As long as her face was tilted up toward mine, I couldn't stop kissing her perfect lips or licking and biting at her delicious neck. She was _so_ addicting.

"You are so damned tempting, so irresistible, woman." I growled before parting her lips with my tongue and sliding it deep within her luscious mouth.

Her hands moved slowly down my back and over my rear, pulling me hard against her as a deep moan rumbled inside her body. Turning her, I pressed her back against the tiles. Her arms came up over and around my neck as I slid my hands down her back, parting her legs and picking her up. She knew instinctively what I was doing and wrapped her strong legs around my waist before sliding down over the rigid male part of me that completed our joining, sending lightning shooting straight through me in continuous waves of pleasure.

"Isabella…" I gasped into her mouth as I leaned my forehead against hers. We stood motionless enjoying the feelings that ran through us from just having her body wrapped so tightly around mine in more ways than one.

Her hands gently pushed my face from hers, if only by inches. With her thumbs she began touching and caressing my face. She was studying me as I held her there, seeing me in a completely new light, as vampires deeply in love saw each other. She was completely fascinated. Her thumbs traveled gently over my eyebrows, my hairline and my ears. She gently traced over my eyelids and beneath my eyes, following the lines of my nose down past my mouth, then stroked the lines of my jaw and chin. Her eyes locked onto my mouth as she softly smoothed her thumbs over my wet lips. I could feel her curiosity as her crimson eyes flashed up to mine.

I smiled and opened my mouth to her probing index finger. Hesitantly, she slid her finger over the edges on my razor sharp teeth that, in her human state would have sliced through her skin before her brain could have processed any sensation of pain. The same teeth that had sliced into her delicate throat, but would never harm her again.

Watching the fire that seemed to blaze in her deep red eyes, I closed my lips around her finger, sucking it deep into my mouth, tasting her delicious flesh as I began to move slowly in and out of her in long deep full strokes. She pulled her finger from between my lips and replaced it eagerly with her tongue, moaning and purring as we moved together in perfect rhythm just as two well practiced lovers.

Her wet body sliding so easily against mine, the fire that burned in her eyes, the urgency we both felt as the lightning built to extremes only added to the abundance of sensations we were both feeling as we moved closer and closer to the release. Then, when the ultimate moment of pleasure came, we soared over the edge together locked in an almost bone crushing embrace in fear of being ripped apart by the sheer waves of energy that exploded from us.

I stood breathing heavily and trembling, holding Bella's body close as all of her muscles vibrated against me sending echoes of pleasure ricocheting back and forth between our bodies as the water continued to rain down on us.

"Oh Bella! Oh God, sweetheart…" I couldn't even find the words to express how she made me feel.

She giggled breathlessly, "I know, believe me, I know."

After the shower, I watched her every move as she slowly and gracefully smoothed a towel over her wet skin, soaking up the water droplets that still clung to her. So many times, while waiting in her room in Forks, I had listened to these same movements as they took place behind a closed door across the hall from where I sat. Watching her now, going through the motions, it was a more seductive dance than I could have ever dreamt.

When she finished, she wrapped the towel around her, tucking the corner in before pulling another towel from the rack to began drying her hair.

Kissing her still damp shoulder as I passed behind her, I reached down, picked up the puddle of blue silk we had left on the tile and headed out into our bedroom.

Bella followed close behind. We seemed to be watching each other, fascinated by every move and facial expression. Each time I looked into her face, her eyes, was if I was seeing her for the first time and I wanted to look at her forever. If I were to look away, even my perfect memory would never do her justice.

Would she finally allow herself to see what I have always seen in her, the beauty, the intelligence, all the little things that made me want to be with her more than anything in the world?

Taking her hand in mine, I led her to the mirrored closet doors that reflected the snow-covered mountains outside. Standing behind her, I looked into the eyes that reflected only love.

She was so beautiful even her reflection could not compare.

"Do you remember the many times I told you that you did not see yourself clearly, not as I do?"

Her brows pinched together as she struggled to remember. I was asking her something that she may never recall. There would be some memories she would have to trust in me to recall for her. All that mattered was that I remembered and I would help her bring forth any memories she wished but, for now, I wanted her to see herself as I had always seen her, amazingly stunning beyond all words.

With my fingers, I gently pulled at her towel and dropped it to the floor. "Look now, Bella, and see what you did not see before."

Her crimson eyes had been focused on my face alone until the towel fell away leaving her standing naked, a living statue carved in the most precious white marble. I watched as her eyes drifted up and down her body, taking in every new line of her shape, her nearly flawless skin and silky hair. In my eyes, she had been perfect before the change but now, perfection had taken on an entirely new meaning.

Finally, her eyes came to rest on mine and her mouth curved into a wonderful smile.

Pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder, I could feel the heat that remained in the only scars that had not disappeared during her change; the scars Jacob had given her while in the process of saving her life.

'_Don't think about it. Do not think about …him. None of that matters now.'_

Fighting to push thoughts of Jacob from my mind, I leaned down and picked up the towel from the floor then headed back into the bathroom, leaving Bella there to contemplate what she had never seen in herself before.

The heat from her scars stayed on my lips as I stepped into the bathroom. Those four jagged lines on her neck and shoulder would be a constant reminder that I should have been there. That without Jacob's help, without _his_ love for Bella, she would have either died or been turned from Victoria's venom…

'… _and what would have happened then? If I had not gotten to her, sucked the venom from her body as I had once before, what would Jacob have done? Would he have killed her to keep her from turning? Did he love her enough to take her life in order save her from the life I have brought her into?'_

His threats rang in my head as if he just said them.

'_I know you can hear me Cullen! You've done nothing but hurt her and you put her in the most horrible danger by even being here! Leave Forks and leave Bella or I'll break this stupid treaty and come after you. I promise the next time I see you I will kill you!'_

I had never taken his threat seriously. It was presumptuous of me to think he wouldn't try to keep her from me but, in the end he realized that no matter what he did, Bella and I were bound to each other for eternity, with or without his interference.

'_She chose you.'_

At the time, those three words meant little compared to what needed to be done to save my Bella's life from leaking away into the fertile soil of the meadow.

But now, those three small words meant the world to me. Jacob would never follow through with his threats. He would never come like a thief in the night to steal away my life or the lives of my loved ones. He really did love Bella and because of his love for her, he would cause her no more pain.

As his words went through my mind, I firmly believed I could let it all go, put it all in the past where it belonged and where it should stay locked away, never to haunt our future.

Wanting to feel the peace that should have come from my decision, I found instead, that I was becoming more disconcerted with each passing second until suddenly, without warning, I was flooded with the most terrifying feelings.

Panic-stricken and confused, I tried to understand why and how I could possibly be experiencing so much overwhelming fear when there was no basis for it. Nevertheless, I still felt it.

I needed to get out of there, get away…now!

Then a vision flashed into my mind adding to my already extreme state of anxiety. Staggering back against the wall of the bathroom, I held my head in my hands, fighting to keep fear from taking me over as I watched the scene play out in my mind…

_I was running. I had to get away. I had to save my only love, save my new family. A long dark dirt road lay out ahead of me leading me through the black forest. I recognized it as the road we took to this house but, instead of going toward our home, I was heading away as fast as my feet would carry me. _

_In a flash, I was standing on the paved road as a set of car lights came speeding toward me out of the darkness and stopped directly in front of me. Before the driver had a chance to roll down the window, the reflection of a panic-driven face stared back at me. It was not my face looking back at me …but Bella's. _

Suddenly, it all made sense.

_Bella. _

Bella was frightened and I could feel it as intensely as if it were my own fear.

She was running away. Away from this house … away from me.

The vision stopped abruptly and then the only two other voices in the house crashed into my brain, Jasper and Alice.

'_Edward! Where's Bella? She's scared!'_

'_Oh God, Edward! Stop her! She's going to run!'_

I flew from the bathroom, "Bella?"

She was still standing in front of the mirror where I had left her but now terror was written on her angelic face.

"Edward! I can't stay here! I have to leave!" The words burst from her mouth as she turned and ran around the room at vampire speed, almost faster than my eyes could see her, searching for something.

"No, Bella!" Tracking her movements, anticipating her next steps, I ran at her in hopes that I could catch her before she found the door.

A thunderous crash reverberated in the room when my body collided with hers and we tumbled onto the bed. She thrashed and fought to get out of my grasp but within seconds I had her wrapped her securely in my arms.

"Please, Edward!" She pleaded as she continued to struggle, "You have to let me go! Jacob will kill you!"

Just then, the bedroom door burst open as Alice and Jasper ran into the room. Their thoughts were just as frightened and worried as mine but also relieved to see I had Bella, she was safe, she hadn't run.

'_What happened? What frightened her?'_ Jasper hadn't begun to calm himself from the fright he had just experienced, but just seeing Bella in my arms as I sat up on the bed bringing her with me, was enough for him to calm down and fill the room with his soothing vibrations.

Alice rushed over to us, lifting the sheet and wrapping it around Bella's naked body and laying the edge over my lap before sitting down on the bed next to Bella. Jasper's calming affect was already beginning to work on Bella and her next plea for freedom didn't carry the same intense need as before.

"No! You don't understand!" She looked deep into my eyes still struggling but with each word she spoke, she lost the feeling of urgency, as if her feelings were becoming sedated while she stayed entirely aware. "I can't stay here." A small sob escaped from her, "Jacob will never stop! Please, Edward, I couldn't bare it if he killed you! I could not live if you didn't exist! It would be all my fault!"

"Oh, Bella, my love, Jacob will never find us. We are safe here. Please believe me, there is nothing to fear." Pulling her face into my chest, leaning my chin upon her head, I wanted so desperately to help her feel safe, to know that I would protect her from harm. To help her understand that we were in no danger from Jacob or anyone else.

'_Edward, let me help her.'_

I nodded as Jasper reached out and gently pulled Bella's grasping hands from me. Closing his eyes and concentrating, I felt the peace he was giving to Bella fill the room.

"Alice saw you leave." Jasper's voice was smooth and hypnotic, doing everything he had intended it to do, calm Bella.

"I'm okay. I just had…" she paused as if she was trying desperately to make sense of what had just happened, "it was just a memory."

Jasper's eyes shifted to mine. "I believe we have all been experiencing Bella's gift since she awoke." _'It's much stronger than mine, Edward.'_ His smile was genuine but still a little worried as he nodded toward the bedroom door. "I suppose you know what has been going on out there." _'Damn, Edward!'_

I couldn't help but smile as I read both Jasper and Alice's thoughts on what they had been doing during the past three days while Bella and I were busy enjoying each others company in our bedroom.

"I've been a little preoccupied." Feelings of what could only be described as embarrassment floated off of Bella but were caught as Jasper easily pushed them away.

"Well," _'I'm only saying this for Bella's benefit…she needs to know how far reaching her gift is.' _Jasper started. I understood what he was doing. She would need to learn how to control this if possible or the whole house would feel her every shifting mood. "Her feelings emanate from her… like waves. That's the only way I can put it. After getting hit by them enough, we just gave in and went with them."

'_I didn't hear you complaining, Jasper.'_ Glancing over at Alice, I could see she was wearing the same satisfied grin that Jasper had plastered on his face and one, which I most undoubtedly wore also.

'_Man, Edward! Emmett was right about you! Once you got a taste of it you didn't let up! Well, he'll be happy to learn he won the bet.'_

Jasper shook his head, smiling before looking back at Bella. He kept his eyes on hers. I could hear as he looked for her hunger also, finding it curious, just as I did, that she didn't feel it yet. Something that she should have felt the second she became aware but still seemed to have no desire for.

Feeling Bella's emotions under control, I relaxed my hold on her and began gently rubbing her back as Jasper spoke once more, completing a thought he was holding in his mind.

"We did find it necessary to leave the house last night though … to satisfy a different … need."

'_Why is she not thirsty yet? Well, knowing what I know now, I'm sure I'll feel it the second she does.'_

His eyes flicked back to mine knowing that I heard all of what he was thinking. "When we returned, we found it a little easier to keep from getting caught up in Bella's emotions," looking back at Bella, "until a moment ago." '_When you scared the crap out of me, girl.'_ "We fully experienced your fear, Bella."

His voice was even more soothing, keeping her calm and quiet as he explained. "We felt your change of emotion and your need to protect Edward, to protect us, hit us full force. That's when Alice had the vision of you leaving."

Again, his eyes came back to me. "Did you feel all of this also? Did you hear any of this?"

"Yes, of course I felt it, then I saw Alice's vision just as if Bella were already gone."

Bella looked into my eyes as I spoke. The time had come to let her know I could no longer see into her mind and most importantly, it didn't matter. I loved her long before I could hear her thoughts and no matter what had changed about her, I would never stop loving her.

"I am no longer able to hear your thoughts, my love. I certainly enjoyed hearing them while it lasted, but having the privilege of feeling your emotions is more than I could ever ask for. Your thoughts drifted away while we were still traveling in the car. By the time we arrived here, your mind was completely closed to me again."

Alice spoke up for the first time, "Well, Carlisle and Esme will be here within the hour and Emmett and Rosalie are flying in later on tonight."

"Carlisle is going to have a blast trying to figure out how you do what you do, Bella." _'I'm not kidding, Edward, right now her power is stronger than mine.'_ He was very serious. "We'll also need to find a way to help you control and possibly focus this gift. Either that or just make sure Edward keeps you happy."

'_The way you two are going at it, I'm sure keeping her happy won't be a problem.'_

His thought caused another happy grin to cross my face as Alice slid off the bed onto her knees in front of Bella.

"I don't remember ever feeling so frightened." My grin immediately fell away as Alice's thoughts came to me. Even though Jasper had already calmed the room, it had been a long time since I had heard Alice so scared.

"You don't remember a lot of things." Jasper was the only one who could get away with a jibe like that and still be able to laugh about it, but the tone of his laughter was slightly on edge, worried. "I'm just glad it was fear that hit us and not anger. I'm sure Carlisle will be able to figure out what's happened and he may want you to give him a demonstration, Bella."

"But until then, let's leave these lovers alone." I felt Bella stiffen in my arms but settle down immediately and hold her calm mood even after Alice stood pulling Jasper's hands from hers. They headed for the door as I placed a kiss on Bella's temple. Squeezing her tightly in my arms and closing my eyes in relief, I breathed in the wonderful fragrance of her as Alice's voice came to us from the doorway.

"By the way, Bella, I went out and bought you some new clothes, your old ones didn't survive your change, and except for the fear part, it's been wonderful having you awake." Her little girl giggles couldn't cover up the sensual thoughts she was having in regards to how the last three days had been like a honeymoon for her and Jasper also.

Bella lay back on the bed, her arms folded under her clutching loosely at the sheets she was still wrapped in. Pulling the fabric down to expose more of her perfectly sculpted back, I slowly moved my hand over her skin feeling the definitions of each dense muscle under my fingertips.

Any fear or anxiety that remained was soothed away with each firm pass of my hand on her satiny skin.

"I wonder…how could I possibly keep you happy?" I asked playfully as I leaned in closer, pressing a soft kiss to her shoulder and enjoying the electric tingle that flowed through my lips and slowly spread throughout my body.

"Share yourself only with me, forever." She whispered.

Easily done.

"Forever and always."

xxX0Xxx

The small amount of time we had left before Carlisle and Esme's arrival was spent wrapped in the arms of my love. I needed to fulfill a promise I had made to myself in regards to explaining her new vampire physiology, some very important aspects of what she needed to know, then illuminating on some of her new talents in very brief detail.

Even that conversation was enough to stir her desires and in turn, with her arousal building, so did my own. However, no matter how much I wished we could, there was no time left to enjoy her body once more before Carlisle and Esme would arrive. Knowing how Bella gives off her feelings and the thought of them arriving while we were indulging our passions was sure to cause Bella to feel somewhat… awkward.

I could hear Carlisle and Esme's thoughts before I heard the soft purr of my Volvo as it traveled closer and closer through the uninhabited forest. I listened as they drove closer and finally pulled up in front of the house.

Already they were aware of Bella's feelings but didn't realize them as such. Hearing their thoughts shift as they came within yards of the house, I knew what they were experiencing and found it almost comical.

If, for some reason, Bella's power could not be controlled as Jasper controls his, this whole family would be spending a great deal of time in their beds. Her new found lack of inhibition coupled with my lack of restraint had already proven to be a dangerous combination and I for one was more than willing to recklessly give into to Bella's every desire with abandon.

Jasper and Alice met them at the car and proceeded to explain what was happening. Carlisle directed his thoughts and I could imagine the smile he wore at that moment.

'_As I said, Edward, impossible to resist.'_

After all the happy reunions and greetings, we settled down on the couch facing out toward the fireplace and huge windows that would forever allow us to enjoy the beautiful scenery. Sitting next to Bella, holding her hand in mine, I proceeded to lead her into the demonstration Carlisle had asked for. The overwhelming sadness I felt and saw on Carlisle and Jasper's faces and heard in their thoughts was so unbelievably painfully. Bella's recollection of what took place in the meadow was a picture perfect memory. I was amazed at how clear it was to her. How she was able to recall every word spoken, every action taken, even her own as she foolishly threw herself in front of the oncoming bullet, a simple reaction to wanting to protect a loved one, even though the loved one in question was a bullet proof vampire.

None of that mattered as we shuffled through the different emotions Bella sent off. Surprise, desperation, anger, sadness, love not only for me but for her father skated over my skin before sinking in and twisting my heart. Carlisle could not focus enough between feelings to form a complete thought in his head. Jasper was a little more practiced at discerning others feelings and even though he felt everything, he was able to block it if it became too much.

"Charlie was so scared for me." Bella's words were not much more than a whisper. "Then he saw you in the sun and I told him you were my angel. Then you took me away … and saved me." Her head came up slowly and her eyes focused on only Carlisle's tortured face. Another wave of sadness hit us before Jasper spoke.

"Bella, pull the feeling back." His voice was calm but he was refraining from sending his own soothing vibrations into the room, letting Bella regain her composure and make the change. "Don't stop trying to feel it, just bring it into yourself."

I could hear her breathing, taking deep breaths to help calm herself. Just as quickly as the demonstration started, it ended. The feelings were gone and I was able to loosen the tight grip I had unconsciously put on Bella's small hand. Wrapping my arms around her, I kissed her forehead feeling nothing but relief that it was over.

"Can we stop for now? I really rather not relive the pain of changing right now, if you don't mind."

Just then, I felt it and knew Jasper had felt the same thing; she was thirsty. Her need to hunt had suddenly come forth and even she didn't recognize it yet.

'_There it is.'_ A small smile crossed Carlisle's lips as he saw the hunger in her eyes as plainly as we all felt it. "Edward, it's time. She needs to hunt."

Suddenly, her need to feed seemed to explode out into the room as I watched both Carlisle and Jasper's eyes immediately darken and their thoughts travel instinctively to the hunt. I was the only one not affected by her hunger.

'_This is somewhat alarming.'_ I heard Carlisle's thought as I rose from the couch bringing Bella with me, and yes, it was alarming. I didn't know the last time Carlisle had hunted but I knew that Jasper had filled himself only the night before and should not be thirsting so.

Bella's thirst was definitely going to be a problem.

Standing on the porch looking out at the bright pink and orange glow cast on the mountains by the setting sun, I could feel how anxious Bella was about what she needed to do now. Her first hunt. The first time she would kill in order to feed the thirst that still grew steadily inside her.

Stepping out onto the porch, I looked into her black eyes, she looked so much like her human self at that moment. She was nervous, hesitant as I brought her hand to my mouth and kissed it before taking a step off the porch.

I heard her take in a deep breath and felt only calm serenity flow off her. I soaked it in willingly like a sponge before her mood shifted suddenly once again.

"Edward, wait!" Anxiety tinged her sweet voice, "Do you think I'll be a little more graceful than I used to be? I mean, I would feel really stupid tripping over my own feet."

'_Oh Bella, you are so adorable.'_

"There is no such thing as a clumsy vampire, Bella. Besides, if you trip and fall, it won't hurt and you definitely won't bleed." I tried to reassure her but still she held back.

"Are you going to teach me what I need to do?"

"It's already built in. Instinct will tell you everything you'll need to know. I'm just surprised that…well, it's taken this long for you to feel it. Usually the second we become aware, the thirst takes control and the instinct to hunt is so strong."

Feeling her anxiousness and confusion, I waited patiently until she calmed down.

"Are you ready?"

Bella smiled, "Yes, I'm ready."

Yes, I could feel it, she was ready for everything.


	17. Chapter 17 A Hidden Power

_"Are you going to teach me what I need to do?"_

_"It's already built in. Instinct will tell you everything you'll need to know. I'm just surprised that…well, it's taken this long for you to feel it. Usually the second we become aware, the thirst takes control and the instinct to hunt is so strong."_

_Feeling her anxiousness and confusion, I waited patiently until she calmed down._

_"Are you ready?"_

_Bella smiled, "Yes, I'm ready."_

_Yes, I could feel it, she was ready for everything._

Chapter 17

A Hidden Power

Staying far enough away as to not appear threatening, knowing how our hunting instincts are, especially in the beginning, I watched as she moved. Every step she took as she raced through the woods, weaving in and out of the trees with a grace I had never seen before. There were moments she moved faster than my eyes could track her, which was disconcerting at times.

Her instincts were amazing, as I knew they would be, and she took the deer down within seconds of the chase. I stayed several feet away, ignoring the strange nagging sensation in my chest, the feeling that I should move closer as I watched her, but I did not wish to interfere in any way.

Her nose led her quickly to the major vein that ran the length of the deer's neck and without a second's hesitation, her teeth sank through the deer's coat and she drank eagerly at the hot liquid that flowed into her mouth.

I looked away not wanting to feel anything. This was a day I had not been looking forward to, this first act of pure instinct. If I allowed myself to feel, as I gazed at my love and what I had turned her into, Bella would feel it also. This was the only way to save her life, to keep her with me forever and if she accepted it this easily, then, so could I.

Listening as the strong rapid heartbeat of the deer faded and finally stopped, I turned back to look at her. Bella sat with her head down, but I could feel no regret coming from her, no remorse. I stepped closer, crouched down next her and placed my hand on her shoulder.

"Bella?"

She raised her head to face me. Her eyes had changed … a bright beautiful fire blazed there, a deep golden ocher in the center with a bright crimson edge encircling the gold.

She took my hand and we were off.

This world was new to her and she took it in with all the wonder of a child.

Her speed was incredible, leaving me with a weird and wonderful feeling as I ran to keep up. One moment Bella would be holding my hand securely in hers, almost dragging me along with her and the next, she had slipped from my grasp and was at the top of a tree, before flying through the air, pouncing on me from above.

I had a passing thought that if she had wanted to run from me, I may not be able to keep up, I may be unable to catch her.

It sent a flashback through me of the many times Rosalie had lost Emmett in that first year, each time insisting it wasn't her fault, he was too fast for her. Now, I completely understood her predicament. I owed Rosalie an apology for being so irritated with her all those times Emmett escaped her watchful eye.

Bella's happiness was contagious. Not only was she happy, she was ecstatic and I delighted in every second of it. To have her with me at last, to hold her, to touch her, to kiss her and share everything I am with her, to see and now feel her happiness was all I had ever wanted.

We rolled and wrestled and played. We held each other tightly and kissed each other passionately. We spent a large portion of our time outside together without words, just smiling and looking into each other's eyes.

As we lay on a small rock outcropping, I could hear Emmett and Rosalie's arrival and the excited thoughts of my family as they waited for our return. Even Rosalie, who had been so reluctant in the beginning and finally accepting Bella's change as the only option, was filled with anticipation.

"Bella, everyone is here and waiting for us. Are you ready to return home?"

She kissed me quickly before jumping to her feet, taking my hand and fearlessly taking the small leap from the rocks to the ground below.

Our pace was slow and leisurely as we headed back toward the house, an almost human pace. Bella was taking in deep breaths, smelling all that was around her when she suddenly stopped and pulled me to her.

"Thank you." She placed a sweet kiss on my mouth. "How soon will I need to hunt again?"

I looked deep into her eyes; crimson had already taken over as the dominant color.

"Soon. Newborn vampires are usually always thirsty. Do you feel as if you are still hungry?"

She closed her eyes leaving me with only her luscious mouth to look at.

"I'm totally fine." She wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered, "The only thing I hunger for now is you."

And with that, a different kind of hunger washed over me, it was a need that no amount of blood could fulfill. A need only I could satisfy, which was a delectable, if not a completely selfish thought in itself.

With her blood flowing through my body, connecting me to her so completely, I could want for nothing more.

"Just as much as I belong to you, you belong to me… you are mine, Isabella and I will never hunger for another."

As soon as we had made the decision to stay out for a while longer, I heard Alice's thoughts as she informed the family we wouldn't be returning until morning.

We lay under the stars, enjoying each other's company, among other things, until the sun began to creep over the horizon.

After rising, I brushed the leaves and pine needles from Bella's hair then at her request, I looked her over to make sure she was in order. She was radiant beyond belief with the morning sun shining on her lovely face before it rose above the cloud cover.

As we walked, Bella's curiosity was becoming so pronounced I could hardly wait for her to start in with the millions of questions I could feel she was anxious to ask.

Finally, my patience was rewarded.

"Edward, will you teach me to do something?"

"Anything, my love."

She hesitated seemingly unsure of what she wanted to learn first.

"Teach me to dance."

My forward motion stopped. I was stunned. Of all the millions of questions that had to be floating around in her head, I was not expecting this one. I pulled her into my arms and began the familiar steps to a waltz knowing she would follow my every footstep, my every subtle move and she did. It was glorious.

"Bella, I'm surprised! I had no doubt you would want to learn how to do some of those extreme sports you are so fond of."

"Ah, come on now, play nice." She playfully nipped at my chin. "I never said I didn't want to go for the more extreme stuff, just… not yet. I would really like to learn how to ski and maybe snowboard if we're planning to live here in the winter and maybe surf. I would love to learn how to surf!"

I made a promise to myself as I pressed my cheek into her silky hair, we would do all those things and more. As soon as this self-imposed exile was over, as soon as she could live among humans as the rest of our family does, we would travel the world, see and do everything she had ever dreamed of in her short human lifetime. There was so much I wished to share with her and we had all the time in the world.

But, for now, we had this dance.

"Tell me about the day you saved me. I mean, I remember some of what happened but a lot is just mixed up."

Immediately, I was brought out of my peaceful state of bliss and another reality was thrust into the forefront of my thoughts.

Was she ready for my confession? Maybe.

Was I ready to give it? No.

"I will… someday." I spun her out from me breaking our physical contact, something that caused that strange nagging pain to spring forth in my chest as I released her hand. The dull troublesome pain that I had ignored earlier, but had been present each time I felt anxious and Bella and I were not in close proximity to one another. A strange sensation that I had not felt before her change, as if I were connected to her in some other way and now, could not be apart from her.

"Someday? When?" I heard her ask from behind me. The pain in my chest grew as my anxiety grew along with each step I took away from her.

"Soon." My mind worked at the pain, trying to decipher what was causing it. It seemed to echo a pain from the past. The same pain that had plagued me when I had left her and found myself lost without her.

When I was content, it didn't seem to present much more than a tingle, but now that I was apprehensive over giving her the details of my betrayal, I couldn't help but feel how it had changed. I wanted to answer Bella. I wanted to give her more than a one-word response, but I couldn't.

"Edward, please!" I could feel her frustration at my obvious avoidance to answer her question. Then anger flashed at me red-hot. "Edward, look at me!"

I was no more than twenty feet from her when suddenly her voice came to me, shook my being with its power.

Frozen against my will, I felt powerless to move forward another step.

Vibrations traveled through my muscles and into my bones as I turned to look at her. Even though my brain fought the motions, my body obeyed the words. It was frightening, this feeling of being out of control of my own body. Jasper's power to alter the mood of an entire room was nothing compared to the power that held me in its undeniable grip at that second.

I knew what was happening, my brain was as clear as ever but somewhere, somehow, my brain and my body were no longer connected and that above all, scared me tremendously.

"Why won't you talk to me? You know you can tell me anything." Bella wasn't shouting, in fact, she was speaking at a perfectly normal level, only, the tone that came from her mouth resonated through bone and muscle just as … it had … once before.

My brain fought to grasp at that time, recall a memory…the power wasn't as strong… but still… it was there.

'_When?'_

My lips parted involuntarily to answer her question.

"Alice lied." _'Oh God! I am not ready to tell her this!'_

"What?"

'_No! I can't fight it! Bella, please don't ask me!'_

I fell to my knees, staring down at the dark brown earth, dead leaves and dry pine needles that surrounded me.

Her footsteps were silent as she raced toward me, covering the small distance in only a second.

"Edward! What's wrong?" Her voice had changed, become the normal melodic tones I had grown used to in the last four days. "Please Edward! What's the matter?"

I took her beautiful worried face in my hands and kissed her sweet lips before wrapping my arms around her.

It was no use. I had to tell her. Confess everything and pray she would forgive me.

"Do you know why my eyes are this color?" I felt her head shake gently against mine, "My eyes are burgundy because I feasted on human blood, Bella. Your blood has quenched my thirst like no other blood has ever done or will again."

I pulled back from her, looking into her eyes as I spoke the truth of what happened. "Bella, Bella, your blood has made me feel so…absolutely incredible! As if we are truly one. Once this feeling is gone, I will never experience it again."

She knelt staring at me, feeling everything I felt. My love and joy for having her with me, my regret for how it came about, my remorse at the loss of her humanity and my guilt for almost taking her life.

She held me tighter, burying her face in my shoulder. "You miss my blood. You miss my being human. Do you regret ever tasting my blood, ever saving me?"

"Never! Not for a second!" Pulling her from me, I took her face in my hands, "Listen to me, Isabella Cullen, I never believed I could love you more than I loved you as a human, but I do. There was a time when I was ready to stay by your side and never change you. I was so afraid you would come to want something more… a physical relationship that I could never dare give you. But, now that we have shared ourselves, our energies, our bodies, I could never wish it any other way. You are part of me, Bella, as I am part of you. I feel pain when I'm too far from you--I can't explain it but it's real and it scares me. Right now, right at this moment, I don't know how I will ever be apart from you."

"Edward, I don't understand. I know there is so much I need to learn about this…way of life." She was still so confused, "I drank _so much_ from that deer before I felt satisfied. How could my small amount of blood do so much for you? Is human blood that much more…fulfilling?"

As much as I was not ready for this, I couldn't stop now. I had to tell her everything. I owed it to her to trust her, to trust in the love we shared, to trust that she would forgive me.

"Bella, do you remember when I brought you to my house?" She nodded, her eyes never leaving mine. "Alice had a vision of you at my feet… bleeding and I was already battling the monster inside of me…_damn!_" Taking in a breath, I trembled all over, "She had no idea how you came to have a bullet wound. She couldn't see what Jacob had done. It only flashed into her head after he had left.

"No one had any idea what had happened to you, they didn't know why you were dying! Alice lied when she said she saw me change you. I _knew_ she was lying. I saw the vision she'd had, it was horrible! I tried to change it and I knew she wasn't about to let that vision come true if she could help it. In trying to change Alice's vision by placing you somewhere else, it only caused her to envision your death in another way. Then, I realized it didn't matter what I did to try to change the outcome, you would still be dead. There was nothing I could do but step back and let Carlisle bite you and I…I was so consumed with thirst I … I'm so sorry. I blocked them all out. I didn't care if they knew I'd already been taken over by the scent of your blood. They all understood I would kill you but, they also understood that I managed to make it to the house, so some part of me was crying out for help."

I held her waiting to feel something from her, anger or understanding… anything.

"Bella, I didn't drink a small amount of your blood, I drank very deeply from you, much deeper than I ever should have. You should not have survived after what I took from you."

Then I felt it… her mind wanted desperately to shut down as it did in the past, in her human past. Her body sagged and she sat down on the ground in front of me. As I lay down next to her pulling her into my arms, the feelings that hit me like a battering ram were indescribably painful.

"Oh Bella, please don't…" My words were choked off by the excruciating sorrow that poured from her, drowning me in her sadness. I lost the ability to draw a breath or to even speak.

Then just as suddenly, the sadness receded as a wave recedes back into the ocean and my body relaxed.

"I should have died. Alice saw – my death." Her voice was not much more than a puff of air that floated past my ear.

"Yes, my love." I pulled her in as close as I could and she willingly wrapped herself around me, her form fitting so perfectly into mine.

"But, Edward, you did save me, I'm here and I'm fine."

"Yes. I fought for you. I fought for every step that took me closer to that house. I knew if I stopped and tried to save you on my own, I would never be able to control my thirst. The thought of losing you, of you lying cold and white and dead…it was so much harder than I thought it would be. Once I brought you into the house, I thought it would be easier but…"

Just the thought of her dead, the visions Alice had shared with me all ending badly, made my body shudder.

"Alice…showed me… and then…"

Images from that day flashed in my head… Bella on the couch, her neck mutilated, Bella lying amid the broken glass of the dining table…dead…always dead.

'_No! No! No! Stop!'_

I took a breath and went on. "You lay there and, at first, you freely gave yourself to me – your blood was so pure and uncontaminated by another vampire's venom and you were so unbelievably frightened. When I looked in your eyes and told you that you would soon be with me forever, I meant your blood. You knew it too. You knew it inside, you were my sacrifice and you begged me to let Carlisle save you."

I could hear my voice trembling as I recalled what had taken place.

"Do you remember Bella?" I whispered once more.

I felt her head nod once, then her body stiffened around me, holding me tightly.

One second more, one more draw of her precious blood and she would not be here in my arms.

I made everything clear, leaving nothing out. I had to if I expected any kind of small forgiveness from her.

"Alice had already told everyone that I would fail, I would take your life in a second if they didn't intervene. I thought if I just kept kissing you and looking into your eyes, I would gain some control. That my love for you would take me over as it always had in the past. I tried to listen as Carlisle went through the steps again with me. I had released my block on their thoughts. I could hear that no matter what happened, they loved me. It was hard to believe that Carlisle let me go on, knowing that the likelihood that I would completely succumb to my thirst was so great.

"When he said he had faith in me, I did feel much more in control. Then I pressed my lips to your neck and when my teeth slipped through your flesh, I pulled my venom in just as I had practiced. But… when the taste of your innocent blood hit my tongue…"

It took all I had in me to detail each excruciating minute before and after my teeth slipped into her neck. She needed to know how our family intervened after my internal battle to stay in control was lost. Why their love for both of us made them do what was necessary to save her from a death so absolute that there would be no coming back. Lastly, my perfect memory of her delicious blood and how beyond imagining it tasted on my tongue, the way it flowed so hot and thick down my blazing throat.

The essence of her blood remained in her mouth even now, in all the venomous fluids that ran through her body, seeping from her very skin as her own personal beguiling perfume.

"Oh Bella, I was totally and completely intoxicated by you."

"But what made you stop?"

"I drank so much from you and when my family realized that I had succumbed to my instincts, they attacked my mind. I was so lost that I couldn't block them out. They screamed in my head to release you. Screaming all the reasons I needed to stop. Bella, they love us so much that they could not survive without us in _their_ lives."

As I pressed a kiss to every inch of her sweet face, her alluring fragrance sent a thrill throughout my entire body. Something I had no right to feel at the moment, but had no desire to fight.

"Their love for us and my love for you is what made me come to my senses."

Each tender kiss from my lips was a promise that I would never hurt her again.

"Can you ever forgive my weakness?"

Her fingers gently entwined in my hair as she gazed, with more love than I ever deserved, into my anxious eyes.

"Yes. It wouldn't matter to me if they had to rip you screaming and kicking from my almost lifeless body, I would still forgive you." Her lips touched mine much too briefly, "It's time to forgive yourself, Edward. How will we ever truly be happy if you can't get past this?"

'_That is something I will never do.'_ I thought, but the words I allowed to pass my lips were much less harsh, "I don't know if…"

Before I had time to register what happened, I was pinned on my back with my arms above my head. Bella's face was not one inch from mine as she straddled my chest with her legs, one on each side.

Shock traveled through my muscles and bones along with the vibrations of her voice as she commanded me. She made it clear that I was to get over my guilt and as long as she spoke, my brain worked furiously while my body was as still as stone.

"Edward, you are all I ever wanted and all I will ever need in this life. I love you. There may come a time that I'll lose control and I hope that you will forgive me my weaknesses too." And, then it was gone. Her voice had traveled back to the silky tones that sent nothing but love washing over me with each word. "You told me that this family has always worked things out and this is no different."

Her grip relaxed on my arms as her body slithered so seductively down along mine wiping all sense of fear from my thoughts.

"I don't ever want to see that look on your face again or feel what I felt coming off you. That was horrible!"

With my arms wrapped around her, I flipped her over onto her back coming to rest on top of her. Gazing into her eyes I wondered…did she have any idea of what she had just done? The power that came from her voice was something that seemed to work on the physical level similar to Jasper's but still so differently than his. I could fight Jasper's affects but Bella's power of suggestion was beyond my control.

"Bella… You just did something…amazing! Actually you did it twice, first when you wanted me to stop and look at you, then again just now."

"What exactly did I do?"

"You frightened me. After living for almost one hundred years, my emotions have not been tried and tested in all that time as much as they have been since I met you. Bella, you have a power in your voice that I don't understand and will not underestimate again. Your voice alone controlled my every action and…" A memory came to mind just then…_'Her truck! She wanted me to kiss her in the truck on the way to the hospital! The power was in her already! Victoria's trace amount of venom had unlocked it along with her thoughts but…this power had been in the voice that flowed from her mind and now…'_

"Bella, you are amazing." _Oh the possibilities!_ "I want to try something, an experiment if you will…"

Unexpectedly, I was once again on the bottom. Bella was fast and, not hearing her thoughts, her movements and actions never ceased to surprise me. Her mouth had claimed mine with renewed passion and I gave in as the sweet sensual feelings of her arousal swept over me. Each small movement she made sparked the lightning that smoldered in my veins.

Her lips were so inviting and the feel of her tongue as it danced slowly with mine was enough to set my already acute senses on high alert. Her kisses were not just kisses, they were a perfect joining of two mouths that were made only for each other. I could hear her every breath, feel it as it flowed delicately across the skin of my face. The taste of her, so sweet, so unbelievably delicious, fully igniting my desire to share with her.

The nearby thoughts of my family had been a low buzzing in my head as they visited or went on with their day while they waited for our return, when without warning they became loud and focused… on me… asking questions they knew I couldn't answer.

'_What…again?'_

'_You do plan on coming home sometime soon, don't you?'_

All I could do was block them out and smile. They would need to be patient. I would bring Bella home when she was ready, not because they wanted to see her. I had no intentions of refusing any advance Bella made and truly didn't believe I could even if I had wanted to.

xxX0Xxx

As each step we took brought us closer to the house, I realized I needed to have some idea of what her voice could do.

"Bella, I want you to do something for me." I stopped and stepped back from her a few feet. "I want you to use your voice on me again." She nodded reluctantly. "Just an experiment… I want you to tell me to do something and I will try to fight it, do you understand?"

She nodded again. Pulling in a breath, she closed her eyes and seemed to ready herself when a sly little smile came across her mouth. When her lips parted and the sound of her words hit me, I found instantly that I could not fight her command.

"Kiss me."

The sensation still flowed into my muscles and bones, but the vibrations were extremely pleasant as I swiftly stepped forward and kissed her.

"Well, that was different from the other times. Actually very pleasant."

"I don't think you really tired to fight it very hard, Edward."

"No. I was trying, however, I did give up much quicker." I thought for a moment. "Bella, tell me to do something that I would not find so pleasant this time." I stepped back a few more paces from her to give myself room. The vibrations hit me again the second air passed through her mouth.

"Hit me."

As my mind screamed, my feet moved me forward in a flash. My right hand swung out from my body, palm up and open to strike her face, but she blocked it with her arm and a split second later her right arm blocked my left as it too reached out to hit her.

"Edward, stop!" the vibrations stilled and I was myself again, fully in control.

"Bella!" I raised my arms to hold her, the same arms that had not two seconds ago tried to hurt her. She stepped into them willingly, wrapping her arms around me and snuggling her nose under my chin. "I'm so sorry. I couldn't help it. I …"

"Edward, it's okay. I'm fine. You didn't hurt me." Her soft hand touched my cheek. "Edward, are you okay?"

"I almost slapped your face and you are worried about whether I'm okay or not! What is wrong with this picture, Bella?"

Her feelings were shifting erratically, "What's wrong with this picture is me!" Her answer was not what I was expecting though I should have known just by the waves of emotion tumbling over me. "Edward, if I can't learn to control this voice… thing, I have the potential to cause a lot of harm to the people I love!"

I was forced to calm myself. It wouldn't do either of us any good if at least one of us couldn't stay in control.

"Bella, we'll go to Carlisle and show him. You know he'll do anything and everything to help you learn how to control this, as will I. We'll get through it." I kissed the top of her head before releasing her from one of my arms to lead her home. "As you were so eager to point out to me, this family always works things out and this no different."

But, before we could make it back to the house, her hunger took hold once more and she needed no help from me in finding her prey, her next deer. With this one she ran, drew out the chase, fully enjoying the hunt and I found that I took pleasure in just watching her.

'_Edward!'_ Emmett's thoughts blasted into my head. _'Alice said you guys are done messing around so get your asse's home already!' _I burst out laughing. A laughter so wonderful and easy it scared the birds from the trees.

"What's so funny?"

"It seems our family is anxious to see us." And, I was anxious to have Carlisle experience Bella's hidden gift.

We were greeted with much enthusiasm when we finally returned home. Emmett grabbed Bella in a great hug and then threw her up over his head much like a loving father throws a toddler, so high she almost hit the ceiling. It wouldn't have hurt her, but Esme would have been upset at the damage it would have caused to the dark wooden beams.

We sat on the large sectional sofa, cuddled in each other's arms talking and filling in everyone on all that had taken place to bring Bella into our family at last. With Emmett there adding his comic relief, and Rosalie interjecting an occasional sarcastic line, it added a bit of humor to what was otherwise a horrible experience that I really did not wish to repeat ever again.

Alice pulled Bella from my side and the sensation in my chest sprang up, but I was able to squash it quite easily. I was happy, content and had nothing to fear.

Alice, Esme and Rosalie took Bella upstairs to Alice and Jasper's room, talking and giggling the whole way. Alice had bought quite a few other pieces of lingerie for Bella and couldn't wait to give them to her.

Alice already knew what Bella's reaction would be, she would love them but would warn her not to buy anything else. I had been given the same warning after becoming impatient with her lace panties and ripping them off her body. I was told, in no uncertain terms, that undergarments were not meant to be a 'one time use only' item.

As I sat watching them go up the stairs, Carlisle's thought came to me.

'_Edward, come out on the deck with me.'_

Without hesitation, I rose and followed him outside. I needed to talk to him also, to discuss the power Bella held in her voice but first I would let him say what was on his mind, things that Alice had seen and told him about.

"You've confessed your weakest moment to her." It wasn't a question.

"Yes, and she… forgave me… she understands."

Bella had forgiven me much too quickly. I had almost wished that she had gotten angry, made me pay in someway for betraying her trust. Ran home and slammed our bedroom door in my face, refuse to see me for days until I stood outside the door begging for mercy. But, all she did was use her amazing voice on me, a power we had no idea she possessed and forced me to think of something other than my own pitiful weakness. It wasn't fair. And as if to prove her total willingness to forgive me, she gave herself to me, sharing everything.

"I know." Even though he didn't say it or think it, his eyes held a definite _'I told you so'_ look in them.

We stood together in silence looking out over our new home in the middle of nowhere without a human within 30 miles. It was the most quiet I had experienced in years. The only voices in my head were those of my family.

Carlisle's thoughts were at peace with his surroundings and with me. There was no hidden scolding lying deep within his thoughts. He was completely… serene. I couldn't remember a time when the whole family was ever so happy … together.

"So, you've probably been wondering why in the world would we bother doing anything else when we could be sharing ourselves day and night, am I correct?"

The words had not come to his mind before he spoke them and I was surprised by the question. "The thought did cross my mind." I smiled, slightly embarrassed, "once or twice." I stared down at my bare feet, trying to will away the awkwardness of talking so openly about the intimate moments of my newfound _life_ with Bella.

And, it was a life, no longer just an existence. Bella had brought a new meaning to my every dawn and twilight.

"For humans, this would be considered the 'honeymoon' period but, for you and Bella, I believe your passion to share with each other will last much longer than one cycle of the moon."

I could only smile and nod my head in agreement.

Yes, I was definitely a 17 year-old male in body and sex drive but I had the knowledge of someone much, much older who knew that there was more to this existence, to this life than experiencing pleasure on a constant basis. No matter how wonderful it was, it had the potential to become boring just as any other action done in repetition.

"It's quite a temptation, isn't it? To do nothing else but seclude yourselves in your bedroom, to enjoy each others… '_body'_… company..." He was gazing out across the deep green forest, "to share..." His mind drifted off to Esme and how much he was looking forward to spending the coming year with her without the obligation of a job. I politely closed my mind to his intimate thoughts.

With the entire family taking the next year off, they would all be free to come and go as they pleased or just do nothing at all, which, was not very likely given that we each enjoyed our own little hobbies or vices.

"You are very lucky to have created this loving bond between the both of you before you saved her." Carlisle's thoughts had obviously drifted back to our conversation. "Alice had informed us that you and Bella had made the decision to leave that night, to postpone your wedding indefinitely. Do you still feel the need to make your union official in the human sense, a piece of paper that states you are married to one another?"

"I haven't given the matter much thought. But, yes, eventually I would like to make it official. My only wish is that Jacob had not interfered. If not for that brainless, selfish dog we would have disappeared into the night with a note stating we had eloped. Charlie and Renée would be spending their days being irritated at us for sneaking off instead of mourning the death of their daughter. I would have had time to…" My voice trailed off as I realized what I was about to say… _'I would have had time to enjoy Bella in her human state just a little longer.'_

'_You were planning to stall her change, weren't you?'_ Amusement lifted the corners of his mouth moving all the way up to his dark topaz eyes.

"I…No! I was only hoping for more time! What I had pictured in my mind as far as turning her was something much more…" the words stuck in my throat. Carlisle's eyes were boring into me, waiting for me to finish, "romantic, unhurried, much less traumatic and … more …controlled."

Though I knew Carlisle considered the subject closed, I couldn't just stop thinking about the whys, how's and what ifs of Bella's turning. Even though Bella had forgiven me completely, I wanted to blame someone, anyone other than myself, for my lack of self-control, "If not for Jacob Black, none of this would have happened!"

A broad smile broke across his face once again. _'Then I guess you should be thanking him.'_

"What?"

"I know it didn't happen in the way you had hoped. Your plans were hurried along but, Bella is with you … now and for always. Besides the fact that Jacob interfered, the end is still the same." He placed his hand on my shoulder, "Maybe, after Bella has adjusted to our way of life, you could broach the subject of marriage once more, that is, if she doesn't bring it up first." He turned to walk away, his mind already shifting to exploring our new home and its surroundings.

"You think I'm being irrational." I mumbled darkly under my breath. I stood, wanting to be angry with myself.

'_You know that's not true. I think you're in love and you're hurting because you feel weak. The need to pour your heart out was overwhelming and now that you have done just that, you should move on, but you can't. You haven't forgiven yourself, Edward. It's clouding every joyous feeling you should be experiencing because you feel you're not worthy to be this unbelievably happy.'_

Carlisle turned back to face me.

"Whether you are willing to believe it or not, you are worthy, Edward. You steadfastly refuse to see all that is noble and admiral within yourself. However, just because you refuse to see it, doesn't mean it's not there for all of us to see. Besides, Bella is much too intelligent to love someone who is unworthy of her. Don't insult her by holding onto past mistakes, Edward. She deserves all the happiness in the world and so do you."

He turned and silently walked into the house leaving me leaning against the rail of the wooden deck. Everything he said was true and cut through all that I refused to let go of. He was right as usual and the sooner I got over it, the better it would be for everyone, especially Bella.

I turned to look out over our vast property when Jasper came out from the living room.

"How far away were you?"

"Sometimes more than two miles but always less than three. Why?"

"We couldn't feel you, I mean, we couldn't feel Bella." He leaned against the railing next to me. "Alice said you were getting all hot and heavy out there and I couldn't feel it."

"And this means…what?"

"We need to do some serious experimenting on how far her feelings travel. I should be able to feel her presence much more than anyone else but…"

"There's something else, Jasper. She has another power. She used it on me by accident and then I asked her to use it, just to see if I could fight it knowing she was using it on me and both times, I had no control."

"What happened?"

"This tone comes out in her voice… it sinks in to your muscles and your bones but not your brain so even though I knew what was happening I couldn't stop myself. At first, it was nothing, I was walking away from her, refusing to answer a question and she told me to stop, which I did immediately. Then the second time, she told me to get over something and the feeling went away but came back later, so now I know her power of suggestion doesn't last very long. Then, she asked me to kiss her and I did try to fight the urge but the feeling was so pleasant that I just gave in." I sighed remembering how awful I felt after the final demonstration of her voice. "But the last thing she told me to do was not so nice… she told me to hit her and if she had not been so fast in blocking my arms, I would have slapped her face with all my strength. It was horrible."

Jasper disappeared into the house at vampire speed returning with Carlisle at his side.

"You need to repeat all you just told me."

I did, word for word, watching Carlisle's face and listening intently to his thoughts as he worked through all I had to say before asking Jasper to rescue Bella from the rest of the ladies of the house.


	18. Chapter 18 Freedom

Chapter Eighteen

Freedom

Aside from Bella and I, everyone in the house was busy getting ready to leave for a month. Rosalie had already been forced to re-pack her things numerous times due to the fact that they just didn't have the room to carry everything she had wanted to bring along. Esme and Alice always packed smartly, taking only what they needed for the first couple of days and picking up anything else along the way. Carlisle had one large duffle bag sitting right next to the front door, as did Jasper. Emmett packed even lighter with just a backpack.

Carlisle had returned to work taking a position at Fairbanks Memorial Hospital, which was a little over 90 miles from our home while Esme had her own projects she worked on here at the house. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper were attending UAF. Jasper was studying atmospheric sciences and Alice was studying computer sciences. Rosalie and Emmett were enrolled in the foreign languages and literatures department even though they fluently speak more than a few languages each.

They were all taking an early winter break to get out of the house with the sole purpose of giving Bella and I some much needed time alone. Bella had not left the property and up until that point, had not been re-introduced to humans so it was easier for them to give us some space than for us to leave.

I believed Bella's re-introduction to the outside world would come soon. She had embraced our chosen way of life whole-heartedly and had never once shown any need for life outside the one we shared here, but I knew one day she would.

It was inevitable.

I couldn't keep her locked up here forever while the world outside moved on. Even though the passage of time meant little to me before Bella came into my life, I now cherished every second I spent with her, always amazed at how I had existed without her. I was eager to share the world with her and I could feel it would be soon… very soon.

The snow had let up for a few days so Emmett, Jasper and I enjoyed a contest the day before, shoveling a path down to the paved road where the snow plows had already come through. It was almost a daily ritual now that the other members of our family had places to go each day, so not much snow had accumulated since the last time we had shoveled it.

Bella and I lay outside sharing one of the lounge chairs on the wooden deck that was located off the living room, soaking in the one beautiful day of sunshine amid all the snow. In addition to us, everything sparkled, the untouched drifts of snow, the icicles that hung from the roof and trees.

Bella was obviously excited about everyone going on vacation and knowing that they would enjoy themselves immensely just getting out of the house, a place she felt they were trapped in because of her. But, she was also excited because we would have the entire house to ourselves for a whole month for the first time since I had saved her.

Though she never complained, I knew it was a burden for her having to control her power all the time. Her emotions would change the mood in a room faster than Jasper's and sometimes, she found that embarrassing.

For the most part, she was happy, but before she had learned some control over her feelings, when she felt romantic, which was quite often, everyone in the house felt it also. So, she would hold back her energy, letting it blast out into the house with an unbelievable force, then become depressed and sometimes overwrought at not being able to control herself better. No matter how many times I told her that no one thought twice about it, and I should know, it was still uncomfortable for her.

After some experimentation on the distance her feelings traveled when she wasn't controlling them, we found that Bella's explosions of passionate energy could not be felt by anyone in the house. From that point on, we usually grabbed a couple of blankets to lie on and retreated to the outdoors for anything more than a kiss. That alone, brought Bella out of an emotional slump she had been steadily sliding into.

She had worked very hard with Jasper and I to learn how to conceal her feelings, to control the strength of what she did reveal and to focus them down to a single person in the room. The power of her voice seemed much easier for her to master especially when there was nothing to threaten her or cause her to lose her temper. She had used it on me at various times, but always in an enjoyable way and never to force me to do something I wouldn't normally do.

Even with Bella's ups and downs, the last two and a half years had been the most wonderful of my life, the happiest my dark existence has ever known. I only wished I could give Bella the same joy and peace she had bestowed on me. Most of the time, Bella was happy, with the exception of her somewhat confusing human memories. Her recollections of the past, at times, seemed like a plague and at other times a wonderful blessing.

Bella's memories would creep up on her, coming to life at the strangest times under the oddest of circumstances. A word, a phrase or even a look could trigger an influx of past human memories'. Most of the time, they were just small bits of her past and she had gotten to the point where it seemed she was laughing at the punch line of a joke well after it had been told. At other times, certain memories would slam into her head with such force she would fall to her knees from the impact.

Each time I witnessed this type of episode, it frightened me. I felt so utterly powerless to help her. I could do nothing for her but hold her in my arms and wait for it to pass, and then comfort her as she processed all the renewed information. Still, she was never afforded a full picture in detail of things that happened during her human life and only on rare occasions did she want me or any other member of the family to expound on what little she had regained.

If all of Bella's memories suddenly flooded back into her before she learned to control her powers, she may have gone insane. Carlisle had warned me of that and of the dangers of triggering her memories by revealing what we know and filling in the gaps.

Though she claimed to desperately want to remember her human past, I wondered if she was subconsciously blocking the most painful memories. She knew that I had left her but didn't remember the circumstances or even how or why she and Alice ended up in Italy standing next to me in front of the Volturi, only that it happened and that we were lucky to have been allowed to leave.

She remembered having been bitten by both James and Victoria and that I saved her both times. The memories of Jacob and his threats to find and kill us were her most distressing and frightening. Even though she would never say and I would never ask, I wondered if she remembered that at one time she and Jacob had been very close friends, on Jacob's part, more than friends and if she still held feelings for him.

I shifted over a bit to lay facing Bella on the lounge chair. Gazing into her light amber eyes, "I'm looking forward to having you all to myself, my love."

Her hand came up and softly brushed my cheek, "Hmmm… me too." It was a deep sexy growl. Her eyes sparkled with an inner fire in the bright sunlight.

Bringing her hand to my lips, I kissed each fingertip then swirled my tongue around the inside of her palm. "Show me." I said, barely whispering my dare.

A sinful smile crossed her lips. Then, as if she had flipped a switch, my skin rippled with her desire before it sank into my body.

_Oh please, Edward!_ "We don't have time for this!" Alice shouted from upstairs sounding somewhat annoyed as simultaneously a crashing noise boomed out from Rosalie and Emmett's room.

"Emmett! Rosalie!" Esme's voice could be heard from her room on the other side of the house. "You don't need to destroy the house tumbling around like that!" She wasn't yelling but her tone did get the point across.

Bella giggled and with that, the wonderful feeling she had poured out on me was gone, leaving me more than slightly frustrated that my family hadn't left yet.

"What happened to your focus, Bella?" Carlisle's voice came from directly behind us. "I had no idea you were so anxious to get rid of us."

"Sorry about that." She didn't bother hiding her giggles.

I heard everyone head down the stairs. "Come on. They're ready to leave."

I took Bella's hand, rose from the lounge chair and walked into the house. Everyone was waiting at the door. Bella ran to Alice and hugged her fiercely still giggling.

I was Bella's lover, her husband in almost every sense of the word. She had freely given her mortal life up for an eternity with me and claimed I was all she ever needed but… Alice was something I could never be… she was her best friend, her sister. They were as close as two sisters born from the same mother. They laughed with each other, they confided in each other, they annoyed each other, they bickered with one another, but they always apologized and they always forgave. They filled a need for friendship that they both lacked before Bella came into our lives and we came into hers.

Bella went through the line hugging everyone, and when she came to Emmett, he tucked her under his arm and ran out the door toward the car, Bella laughing joyously as he ran.

"What are you doing?" Bella squealed.

"I'm kidnapping you. Why don't I just hide you in the trunk, I'm sure we could make room." The trunk lifted open as he approached it. "You don't really want to stay here and spend an entire month alone with _him_ do you?" He teased.

We all followed behind down the porch steps. In all the commotion, Alice stepped next to me, her thoughts slipping easily into mine.

_It's time, Edward. She's ready._

I looked down at her, somewhat confused at her remark.

_Take her into town. Go shopping. Buy her a cell phone. She's going to need it. While you're there, you might as well pick up a spare for yourself._ She smiled and hugged me goodbye. _Trust her, Edward, trust yourself._

Bella had wiggled free from Emmett and danced to my side wrapping her arms around my waist as she watched our family climb into their cars and disappear down the newly shoveled driveway and into the snow-covered trees.

I looked down into her face, a faint sensual smile turned up the corners of her perfect mouth. Picking her up in my arms, I carried her into the house, down the hall and into our room.

Lying her down on our huge bed, the bed we rarely used to do much more than cuddle on as we listened to music or whispered our love into each other's ear. I wanted to take my time, enjoy every inch of her, feel everything she had to share. Covering her body with mine, I gazed into her eyes as my fingers twined in her hair of dark chocolate silk. Her golden eyes twinkled and then, without warning, all of her deepest desires were released on me, flooding my senses with her love causing my body to tremble with the impact of it.

My lips touched hers, my tongue slipping eagerly into her mouth, tasting her, drinking in her essence. The connection set off an electric current that coursed through every nerve ending in my body.

With just a kiss, a perfect, sweetly intoxicating, explosive kiss, I was unable to hold back my body's response to her, to the luscious taste of her mouth, to her seductive fragrance. The lightning that shot through me was immediate and agonizingly wonderful in its intensity. Bella's energy burst forth less than a second later and I could feel her body quivering beneath me, feel all she had to share as it passed through my skin into my core, stronger and with more force than I had felt from her in a very long time.

Her mouth curved into a smile against mine and a deep sigh came from within her.

"Bella," I breathed against her mouth, "All this time you have been holding back."

"Edward… I…" Her beautiful eyes pleaded with me, "I'm so sorry, I just couldn't… not with everyone here."

_Oh, Bella._ It was plain to see that I had no idea how strong her power had become or the enormous amount of control she possessed. What a mammoth weight it must have been to her.

_Trust her, Edward, trust yourself._

Obviously, Alice knew and though I had promised to never underestimate Bella's power again, I had done just that.

I needed to do something for her, to give her the freedom I had promised her, the freedom to share everything she had with me, to hold nothing back. She needed the choice to love me without boundaries, without limits and living in this house took away her choice.

"I have missed you this way." I whispered against her inviting lips as my body continued to tremble.

"I missed being this way. It's been a very long time since we did _that_ with just a kiss." Her tongue stroked slowly over my lips. "I'm not surprised though… you are very talented with that tongue of yours, you know."

As if I could read her thoughts, I knew exactly what she wanted. A secret yearning for it burned in her golden eyes. Something I had not given her before, but had thought of quite often. A gift she had not seemed ready to accept before this moment.

I could feel it in the way her body moved beneath me, in the way her hands touched my skin sending sparks through me igniting every cell with a fire of longing. She wanted it as much as I did.

Feeling how her desire saturated the air all around me, I breathed it in as I went up on my knees sliding my hands under her blouse, over her breasts, lifting the soft fabric up over her head. Her bra was next and no matter how many times I gazed upon her naked body, the perfect shape of her breasts always astonished me. I was astonished by how everything about her body fit all the corresponding pieces of mine.

Then grasping the waistband of her pants along with her panties, I pulled them down her flawless legs and dropped them to the floor. The sight of her sparkling naked flesh never ceased to amaze me and for a moment, I wondered if she would consider staying naked for the entire month.

She was devastatingly beautiful. More stunning than any priceless work of art and I would certainly never tire of gazing on her perfection.

Bella's body was quivering uncontrollably with excitement. Her breathing was full and deep as she pulled in the scent of my craving. I unbuttoned my shirt and dropped it over the side of the bed.

Never taking my eyes from her gorgeous body, I traced my fingers up and down her thighs watching her body react to my touch, arching up to meet my hands.

Laying down between her velvety legs, I slid my hands underneath her perfectly shaped bottom, slightly raising her hips as I kissed the inside of her thighs, licked them, nipped at the satiny skin. Bella was trembling from head to toe, holding back the energy I knew she so desperately wanted to release.

My tongue drifted to the center, to the place that exuded the most intense fragrance of her human self, the luscious fluid that held the essence of her sweet blood concentrated in its highest form. I breathed in her seductive perfume as my tongue traveled long and slow over her. That first caress over her silky sweet wetness almost pushed both Bella and I beyond the edge of control. Still, I licked at her, caressed her with my mouth. Feeling almost drunk with desire and lust, my tongue explored deep within her. I suckled at the small bud that inflamed her passion to new heights.

The sensation of my mouth on her in this way was beyond description, hardening me in a way I had never felt before. A painful aching that rippled and spread rapidly throughout my entire being.

The sweetest moaning came from between her lips, a love song full of all the passion and desire she was feeling. Her hips rose to meet my mouth as her hands clenched at the dark sheets, pulling and tugging as her energy rose closer and faster with each swirl of my tongue.

Just when I thought Bella would give up and share her energy, her voice, deep and melodic, panted out a desperate plea…

"No… wait… not yet… Please, Edward… stop… not yet…"

I wanted nothing more at that moment then to continue to drink her in, to lay with my mouth between her legs and feel the burning lust for her blood as if she were still human. However, the knowledge of having an entire month to enjoy each other this way won over and within a second I was out of my jeans and sliding my hardness deeply into the wet silky folds that gripped me so firmly.

Bella's moans of delight mixed with mine in a song of perfect melody and harmony. Lost in our ecstasy, I plunged deeper with each controlled thrust. Her legs wrapped around me, driving me farther and farther into her as her body melted into mine.

She trembled underneath me, shuddering as I moved slowly and smoothly bringing her along with me to that one moment of indescribable bliss.

When it came, when our energies exploded into the room, I could have sworn that the ground beneath us was quaking with the force of it. I held her, my face buried in her neck, still moving within her. Breathlessly, I kissed my way up to her mouth.

"This is how I want you, how I need you."

"Oh Edward… Don't stop…" Her voice was a husky whisper blowing sweet and thick into my mouth as her body begged for more.

I had no intentions of stopping. The love, the joy, the sheer feeling of wholeness Bella brought to my life was so overwhelming, if I could cry I would have. Looking into her bright shining golden eyes, I was overcome by the temptation to stay there in our bed and make love to her until her eyes became dark black pits of thirst, even if it took days or weeks for her to reach that state.

As it was, I would make love to her until she was completely satiated. Until she asked me to stop.

It was rare that we were able to make love in our room, in our bed without at least one member of our family being near in the house or outside close by, rare that my mind was so free to be open without distractions and Bella so free to reveal all of her feelings to me.

It was a quiet sensual intimacy that we had not shared in a very long while.

"Bella," I wasn't sure where to start, "It's horrible to think that you feel encumbered by this power of yours. I hadn't realized how much you held back. I don't want to sound selfish but…I am and… I want you…all of you, and the only way I can have all of you is if we leave this house."

"Edward…" Her voice was full of worry and a feeling of anxiousness came over me.

"Shhh, Bella, there is no need to get anxious. I would never take you away from our family and I seriously doubt they would let me." I stroked her beautiful cheek with my finger. "What I am proposing is that I build a home of our own, here, next to this house, but far enough away that you will feel comfortable."

Even though I could feel her joy at my offer, she still had an underlying current of doubt.

"Edward, are you sure it won't hurt their feelings?"

"Bella, once they learn how much you are actually controlling your power on a constant basis they will understand. I don't want you to feel locked up within yourself in a cage of emotion. Please let me do this for you… for us." She hesitated and I was ready to defend my request if she were to decline my offer.

"Please, Edward." Her voice was so warm, so irresistible. "Would you mind if we talked with everyone else first? I don't want to agree if our moving out will hurt someone's feelings. Remember, they left everything behind because of me. Esme bought this house so we could all be together and I don't want to appear ungrateful just because I want to…you know…"

"Make love in a bed." I had to laugh but she didn't see the humor in it.

"Exactly." She replied looking at me in that way, from under her thick black lashes.

I smiled knowing that I had won. Knowing our family the way I did, they would never refuse this. They only wanted us to be happy and if having our own home next to the main house was what we needed, it would be built.

xxX0Xxx

From the corner of my eye, I saw her fly through the air. Her slender body slammed into mine with a thunderous crash. I tried to roll away from underneath her but she was so damned fast. Her arms and hands were a blur even to me.

Then, I was pinned! Again!

I twisted my head to look at her.

"Damn! I can't believe this. Well, at least no one else is here to witness my humiliation."

There was a mischievous glint in her eye. "Well, Mr. Cullen, maybe next time you'll think twice before trying to put the moves on me."

_The moves! Stupid! Stupid! What was I thinking when I attempted to put her in this hold? Like she wasn't going to try the same thing on me!_

I couldn't help but chuckle at my predicament. With every failed attempt to wrestle her to the ground, to pin her, I was creating a lethal wrestling machine. No, she wasn't stronger than me in any sense, but she was so damned flexible and slippery and soft and supple and…

"Oh, I have some moves to put on you …as… soon as I…" I struggled but she really had me good. Then, I started laughing which didn't help my situation.

"Really?" Her seductive reply sent shivers of lightning through me.  
"Oh yes, just you wait."

"Bring it on vampire-boy." She whispered playfully in my ear. "But you'll have to catch me first." Then, she was gone.

Laughing, I rolled onto my back, not even attempting to listen for her movements through the empty house. She had become so stealthy I knew she would be impossible even for me to hear. I lay there for a moment listening to nothing. Without my family here, there were no voices to drift into my head. The incessant buzzing of random human thoughts was something I never missed either.

I crept through the house listening intently for any movement, trying to feel her or even a vibration in the air around her. Then I heard it, just barely.

An almost inaudible sigh. A wisp of air that moved from between her sweet lips.

I followed the noise and found her downstairs in the computer room staring at the screen. Alice had changed her desktop wallpaper to a dark picture of a famous city skyline, the city that never sleeps. The very city our absent family had been visiting for almost a month now.

Coming up from behind her, I wrapped my arms around her waist and placed a kiss on her bare shoulder. She turned to face me, wrapping her arms around my neck. She tried to smile but I was not convinced, as a swell of sadness seemed to lap up at me. Sadness so deep it tore at my heart.

She made no attempt to conceal her feelings from me as she would normally have done in the past or when any other member of our family was present. I could also feel claustrophobia creeping in on her – a boxed in sort of desolation that could leave her to spiral down and sink into a deep melancholy if I didn't do something to help her.

Picking her up, cradling her precious body, I carried her up the stairs and out into the living room. Sitting on the couch, I kept her wrapped in my arms as she tucked her head into my neck.

We sat without speaking for hours. I struggled with what I could say to ease her mind but she didn't seem to need words of comfort, just being with her, holding her seemed to be enough.

I held her close, caressed her skin with slow deliberate motions as her emotions washed over me, her deepest feelings sinking down into my soul. Emotions that were thick with what I could only describe as regret and remorse.

I knew this day would come – eventually. The day where so many of the things she missed from her human life, what she has done to survive and adapt to this existence and what she must continue to do as a vampire, would come crashing down in an avalanche of pain and sorrow.

Even though she had never taken a human life, never tasted the blood she was meant to consume. It wouldn't lessen her remorse for killing animals the way we did in order to feed the thirst we suffered from.

I held her until the light faded into darkness and the hours passed until dawn broke again.

An ocean of snow and clouds were all that was visible outside the huge picture windows. Looking outside, I prayed the sun would come out if only for a short while to brighten her dismal mood. However, as the sky grew lighter, disappointment settled over me once again, the sun would not break through and shine today.

Without the presence of our family to entertain her every second, this house was nothing more than a deserted island in a sea of white nothingness. A prison, for all intents and purposes, with me as her loving jailer.

I desperately wanted to help her, to relieve her misery, to distract her at the very least. However, knowing that this was something we all went through, I seriously wondered how much of a distraction I could possibly be.

"Bella…my love," I stroked the satin skin of her cheek with my fingers before lifting her face to mine. Her hand glided up and around my neck pulling my mouth to hers in a tender kiss. She rose and took my hand leading me toward our bedroom.

_Yes_, I smiled inwardly, _I can very easily be this kind of distraction. _

She held my hand as we walked through our bedroom door, but instead of heading to the comfort of our bed, she led me toward my piano.

The first piece of furniture I purchased after moving here. The piano was something I enjoyed and needed and she took pleasure in hearing me play. Seating myself on the bench, I had fully expected her to sit next to me or possibly climb back into my lap as she did so often, but she faced me, wrapped her arms around my neck and sat straddling me, her legs wrapped around my waist as my hands encircled hers.

There was no way to stop the electricity I was feeling from flowing through me, rushing out to the very tips of my fingers and toes. Nothing I could do to wipe the smile from my face. The positioning of Bella's body against mine, so wonderfully close and sensual, made it extremely difficult to think clearly much less play the piano.

Bella pressed her cheek against mine, her long mahogany hair draping over my bare shoulder like silk. A mix of emotions ran through her, mingling with my own. She knew what she was doing to me, could feel the way my body was reacting to hers even with the sorrow coming off her. I found it very difficult to calm myself, to keep my body from becoming aroused by her…it didn't help that I could feel her sly smile as her delicate whisper passed my ear.

"Take me somewhere."

_Take you? Right here… on the bench?_

"Silly Edward…" The power to feel my emotions, to decipher exactly what I was feeling was almost as if she could actually read my mind, "Play for me."

Understanding came over me, calming the need inside. Through my music, she wished to leave this house, the snow and the seemingly endless cloudy days behind. But…I could do better than that.

"Bella…"

"Shhh," She whispered using the power of her voice. "Just play for me."

I smiled feeling the gentle pleasurable vibrations of her power in my muscles and bones as I easily complied with her wishes. My hands floated over the keys, playing all her favorite melodies and even a few new ones that wrote themselves so effortlessly in my head.

I could feel her mood lighten somewhat, but still, she remained downcast. So much so that I began to question my own abilities…

_Is it me? Am I that pathetic as a mate that I can't even keep her happy?_

"Bella, I'm sorry… I…"

"I wish you would stop that!" Her voice was no more than an urgent whisper.

"What?" Obviously, she had felt my uncertainty.

"You automatically assume that every problem I have is your fault and it's not. Please just understand that I need to work things out on my own. I have absolutely no regrets, Edward. I love you with everything that I am and would change nothing if it meant I couldn't be with you this way."

It took a second, a very long second, for my mind to grasp what she was trying to tell me.

I stopped playing and pulled her from my shoulder placing her sweet face in my hands.

I was mistaken. With all her emotions plainly visible on her face, I was amazed at how wrong I had been about her feelings…dead wrong.

She had no regrets. She felt no remorse. So…what was it that had caused her to fall into such a dark mood?

She had locked me in her golden gaze, held me there with her love swimming all over me. She softened her tone and went on.

"Sometimes, I swear I'm just dreaming and I'm trying so desperately to stay asleep, to not wake up because reality would be a such a horrible nightmare." She pressed her forehead against mine. "What did I ever do to deserve you, to be so unbelievably happy? The word love doesn't even come close to covering what I feel for you… it's like love multiplied by the highest number imaginable… by infinity. I love you. I love you, Edward Cullen."

A huge smile broke and moved across my face. "And I love you Isabella Cullen."

She was perfectly stunning. I couldn't take my eyes from her. I longed to take her to our bed, or take her right on the bench, to share myself with her, to release the energy I held inside, to give her my love in a tangible way. However, it was not what she wished for…at least not right then.

All she wanted at that moment was my never-ending love to pour out into my music as it lifted her spirit and returned her inner peace.

Only I was capable of giving her such a gift, so I held nothing back as I played for her. I let my happiness flow through me and when she was ready; I would take her away from this house, at least for a day.

xxX0Xxx

"You must stay focused every second, Bella." I drove Emmett's Jeep at an almost human speed, trying not to rush. It was the only car left in the garage that would not stand out in the midst of all the snow. Even though it was a bright red beast, we would blend in perfectly.

"Like I haven't done anything like that in the last two and a half years. I would really appreciate a little faith here, Edward."

"This is not the same, Bella. Lose your focus and a human will die." The words came out much harsher than I had intended. I reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. "You hold an awesome power, my love, in just seconds you have the ability to cause so much destruction. It is a terrible responsibility to bear and an even greater moral debt to carry for eternity. Only you can make the choice to resist."

"I have already made that choice, Edward."

Suddenly, for some unknown reason I couldn't understand, it seemed that Bella and I were not talking about the same thing.

"Bella, if something should happen…"

"Nothing will happen."

"But if it should….I will always love you. I will never blame you."

She leaned closer, kissed me, filled me with her love.

"I know."

As we drove into Fairbanks, I could see her eyes darting all over, catching everything she could. She breathed in deeply trying to make sense of all the unfamiliar odors.

"What is that smell?" She wrinkled her nose but continued to breath in the scents that flooded into the Jeep.

"Humans, food, coffee, garbage, car exhaust, among other things." All odors I was very familiar with.

"It really isn't very pleasant is it?"

"Human scent usually overpowers everything else and though it is not exactly a pleasing smell, in the sense that it doesn't make our bodies feel pleasure, it is a trigger for our thirst. It is the smell of blood, what we are meant to drink. If vampires did not exercise some measure of control, they could very easily devour entire populations."

I pulled up and parked in front of the store where our family had done business in the past. It was very small and rarely crowded.

"Edward!" Bella's eyes were looking down the row of small shops to the end where a large bookstore sat, its double doors swinging open and shut with all the people shuffling through them.

"Edward…could we go there?"

She allowed me to feel her eagerness. She wanted nothing more than to go into the over crowded store and buy a book – a purely simple act. However, I couldn't let down my guard, I could not give in and I knew it would hurt her.

"Not today." Until we found whether she could handle being around humans, we would not be taking the chance of walking into a warm store crowded with even warmer human bodies.

We had fed well before leaving our property, so I knew the pale butterscotch color of her eyes would give me no clue as to her level of control.

I knew my limitations and my body remembered even though the scents that pressed in all around me caused a slight burning in the back of my throat. After the constant flames that had burned within me before I saved Bella and brought her into my life, this was nothing more than an annoyance and easily ignored.

I took her face in my hands, "I will take you there soon, I promise." It was all I could give her.

As I held her, my mind searched the cell phone store – 3 employees, 2 up front and one in the back, only one customer – a man buying a phone for his daughter, a replacement for a lost phone.

Still, with Bella's speed, if she allowed her instincts to take over, she would have no trouble taking at least one human before I could stop her.

"Edward, I can handle it. Trust me, I will not hurt anyone."

"You can't know that." I whispered into her face.

Without warning, all that I was feeling from her was gone. Her body became rigid, a marble statue in my hands.

"Take me home." A flat threatening hiss slipped from between her lips.

She had the power to force me to release her, to make me accompany her wherever she wished to go, but she chose to go home.

My hands moved down her shoulders, smoothing over her jacket clad arms, down to her bare hands.

"I trust you, Bella."

Bella picked out a dark burgundy colored phone and I picked up a spare phone for myself as Alice had suggested – I didn't know why, but Alice was sure I would have need of it.

Aside from the normal reactions most humans experienced in our presence, the purchase went off without incident. I held the door for Bella and followed her through the slush and snow to Emmett's Jeep.

"Now, that wasn't difficult at all." She was smiling, obviously pleased with herself.

"Yes, your behavior was exemplary." I teased as I looked into eyes.

"Play nice."

I pulled her into my arms and kissed her hard, releasing all the pent up anxiety I had been holding in before pulling away from her lips. I smoothed my fingers over her cheek and down the length of her neck, following their path with my lips.

"Edward…right here in front of everyone?" Now she was teasing.

I sighed into the hollow at the base of her throat before looking into her eyes again. "One book."

A wonderful smile spread across her luscious lips before she jumped into my arms kissing me once more.

Shaking my head slightly, I stood looking down at the stack of books I held in my right arm.

_One book. _How could I tell her no?

Her face almost glowed with joy at the sight of so many wonderful books. Books she didn't really remember ever reading. I held her hand tightly in mine and when she had loaded my free arm with six books, I whispered, "Bella – I promise this will not be your last visit here."

She looked into my eyes, then at the stack of books I already carried and smiled impishly, "I'm sorry, I got carried away." Then she added _'The Count of Monte Cristo'_ to the pile.

I tugged on her hand, leading her away from the shelves toward the checkout line. "Come, my love. You have enough reading material to last you a few days."

When we reached the register, I placed the books on the counter and as the sales clerk scanned them, I gazed into my love's eyes.

Bella seemed to be handling the crowd with no problem – where as I was busy focusing on the reactions our presence in this store was bringing about. Most of the patrons instinctively stepped away from us, feeling an unexplainable apprehension. Only a few humans allowed their eyes to travel over us more than once.

The clerk placed the books in a bag as I slid my credit card through the machine then signed one of my many names on the receipt.

I could hear a rowdy group of boys as they approached the entrance of the store and after taking the bag from the counter, we walked to the exit just as the boys came tumbling in.

All of the boys were dark skinned with coal black hair, stocky and around 18 years of age, except the last boy in the group. He was taller than the rest, his long black hair pulled back into a ponytail. Though I knew he was not Jacob Black, his resemblance was remarkable.

I watched as his eyes passed over my face then down to Bella's. I heard his breath catch in his throat, his heartbeat speed up and pound in his chest. Every thought in his head disappeared for an instant as Bella locked her eyes onto his.

Then, it happened.

For one brief second, a deep unexplainable fear swept over me then, anger… fierce, protective and intimidating swept into the store. I heard the response to Bella's emotional outburst from each human mind within range not only in my head, but also in the harsh collective growl that seeped unconsciously between each pair of lips.

Without thought to whether anyone would notice my speed, I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist and pulled her roughly to me as the boy's step carried him past us. Bella's eyes flashed up at mine. They were fathomless orbs filled with black ice, darkened not by thirst, but by fear and anger. Her face had hardened into a terrifying mask, and in that moment, she was all the hideous monster I had turned her into.

In the next second, the golden color flooded back into her irises, the stark hardness of her face faded leaving only the face of the angel I loved so deeply.

She had regained her control. She was safe.

The boys' steps never faltered, but carried him further into the store and out of the small entryway. Bella's feet never stopped moving forward and within the next few seconds, we were outside the door as snowflakes drifted down onto us. I stopped and pulled Bella into my arms protectively, not feeling her emotions exactly, but feeling the tension in her body slowly fade as she relaxed into me, calming down.

I bent to kiss her, placing my lips on hers for only a moment.

"Bella, don't leave them like this, they're confused and afraid. Let them feel your love for me." I whispered softly against her mouth.

Suddenly, the meddled thoughts that surrounded me, filled my head, changed, settled and without needing to look to confirm it, I knew each person in the store was smiling.

Though Bella and I had relished the time we spent alone together, we were delighted with the return of our family. Unfortunately, it also meant Bella would need to conceal her feelings once again but even that was balanced with the knowledge that she would be making frequent trips into Fairbanks and soon, into the world.

Everyone had returned to their normal routines and the only other family member in the house with us was Esme, who was currently up in her room, humming along with a CD she was listening to and painting a picture from memory of a red and white parrot tulip against a black background. She was so meticulous, I was sure it would look more like a photograph than a painting once she was finished.

Bella was lying stretched out on our enormous bed with one of her many new books open in front of her. Her pale alabaster skin luminescent against the dark blue sheets. She wore only a very short ruby red silk nightgown Alice had given her as a gift, not much more than a translucent slip of fabric. It matched the red silk boxers I wore that Alice so thoughtfully had given to me. However, where mine normally just lay over my body, Bella's garment hugged every line of her small frame, defining every muscle that lay under her marbled skin. It was all I could do to stay on the bench and play as she read.

Though she was doing nothing more than reading, her left hand against her neck concealed under her silky hair, the sight of her was driving me insane. I wanted to ravish her, needed to feel her wet and inviting, devour her, make love to her until we could feel nothing but the ecstasy of our sharing.

Nevertheless, there I sat. Playing slowly, softly, and seductively as she read.

Her happiness was everything to me so, I would wait. Wait until she was done reading and at the first sign, I would spring from my bench and take her.

Time passed incredibly slow. I closed my eyes, breathed her sweet floral perfume into my nose, into my lungs and began to plan my strategy.

Without a sound, Bella was behind me, her hands placed on my shoulders, fingers moving slowly down the length of my arms and back as she kissed my neck sending lightning streaking through every nerve in my body.

Her hands trailed down my chest, over my stomach and down to wrap around the cold stone obelisk that had been erected in her honor. I was more than ready for her, I had been for the last hour. I gasped as her fingers gripped me, encircled me so tightly.

"Oh God, Bella…" I just managed to whisper as her hands moved up and down, stroking with exquisite tenderness.

"Play for me." Her playful whisper tickled my ear.

"You have got to be kidding." My words came out in a ragged moan, as my hands seemed to burn from the energy that pulsed through me.

"Play for me." She commanded me using the power of her voice. My entire body vibrated with pleasure down to my last cell, my fingers moved effortlessly over the keys playing out the melody that led to the edge of my release.

Through the sheer silk fabric of her nightgown, I could feel her breasts pressed against my back. As much as I was thoroughly enjoying Bella's fingers moving on me, building the energy I so desperately wanted to share with her, I still wanted to turn on the bench, wrap my arms around her waist and impale her on what she was so expertly working between her hands.

But, still, I played.

Her teeth nipped and bit at my neck and back, not enough to cause pain or break skin but enough to push me closer and closer to that moment of splendid relief.

The music moved deeper into a dark passionate melody, which was only broken for a second by the vibrations of my tiny cell phone on top the piano. In lightning speed, my hand reached out, flicked the tiny device into the wall where it shattered into a hundred pieces a fraction of a second after my hand had returned to the keys, never missing a note.

"Edward." I felt her smile against my skin, her breath skating across me, her hands never stopping my slow torture.

"Woman, you are killing me." It was not much more than a breathy growl.

"Hmmmm…getting some of your own back then." She murmured deliciously as she bit down teasingly. "You have been sitting here thinking of nothing else for the last hour, how could I possibly concentrate with the lust you were putting off? I'm surprised you could even continue to play."

Still, her hands moved agonizingly slow over the full length of me, from tip to base.

"It was becoming increasingly difficult, believe me." I could barely breathe.

"I was waiting for you to attack me any second, but I guess your control is much stronger than mine. Either that or you are very patient. " Her tongue trailed long and slow from the base of my neck to the back of my ear.

"I… can …be … patient." I turned my face to hers and her mouth captured mine in a long deep kiss as she gripped me even harder sending me over the edge in a blast of mind numbing energy. My hands froze on the keys, my fingers clinching into fists as the lightning rocketed through me.

Then, I turned, my hands a blur as I grabbed her waist lifting her in front of me and pulling her onto my lap. Her legs wrapped around my waist and I held her above me as her hands gripped my shoulders waiting for me to lower her down, slide her over that part of me she was wanting so anxiously to fill her.

However, it was my turn to tease. I held her balanced on the very tip. One small strap of her nightgown slid down her shoulder to reveal a perfect pale breast beneath, just within reach of my mouth. I licked at her, nipped at her until she was trembling uncontrollably in my hands. Her eyes were full of a golden fire that seemed to burn through my skin sending electricity racing through me.

Slowly, I lowered her down, filling her completely as her breath caught and her eyes flashed ice-cold fire. The lightning building and building, splintering from that one center point through my entire being. Her lips met mine, mouths open, tongues dancing wildly as my hands gripped her hips sliding her up and down along the length of my hardness.

Her moans were soft, a purring deep in the back of her throat but I could feel almost nothing from her. I pulled my mouth from hers.

"Bella…please, don't hold back… let me feel your desire."

"I can't… Esme…"

I released her hips, stopping all motion and placed my hands around her face.

"Bella, until you, there was nothing. Esme has always wished that someone would come and fill the void she saw in me, the void I never knew was there until you filled it. To have you with me, to know that we share our love in this way, to feel the joy you bring me makes her unbelievably happy." I kissed her beautiful mouth. "If I cannot have all of you, I will wait until our house is built. But, if I must wait until then, I must warn you that you will not have a moments peace to even glance at one of those new books of yours for quite a long while."

She leaned her forehead against mine, her body trembling with the excitement that, up until that point, she had not allowed me to feel in her. Her breath flowed rapidly into my open mouth and then, she whispered, the words a sweet husky purr…

"Are you ready?"

Before I could answer, it hit me. All that she concealed slammed into my body and mind as I stared into her angelic face, her eyes danced with golden flames. Wave after wave of almost unbearable pleasure swamped me as my hands moved to find her round hips once more.

Bella moved with me, matching my every deep thrust, moving hard and fast, riding me, urging me deeper. Each movement caused her muscles to tighten, clench and release, and then tighten again.

Our eyes were locked as ours bodies moved together as one. I could feel, along with the passion, desire and sheer need to release her energy, there was also joy. Her joy in knowing that I loved only her and that I would never love another or share with another in this way.

I gave myself up totally to her as she released herself on me, crying out as our energies burst forth so suddenly that all we could do was hold on in fear of being ripped apart by the massive waves of pleasure that enveloped us.

I pulled her lips to mine, sliding my tongue deep within her sweet mouth for only a moment.

"Do you think Esme felt that?" She giggled.

I searched for Esme's reaction and found her on the phone talking alluringly to Carlisle, requesting that he come home…now. I couldn't hold back the smile that spread across my face.

"She most assuredly did."


	19. Chapter 19 Nowhere to Run

Chapter 19

Nowhere to Run

Girl's day out.

With Esme, Alice and Rosalie's help, we had no need to find some other way to get Bella out the house while Emmett and Jasper retrieved her truck from storage in Fairbanks, where it had been sitting for almost two years. We just needed to make sure the truck did not cross paths with Bella on the one road that leads to our house.

These short outings that separated us were meant to benefit us both. Bella needed the practice if she were to ever move about in the human world independently, and even though it was so hard to be parted from her for any length of time. I knew it was for the best, not only for her, but also for me.

I craved her company, her touch, and her presence every second of every day in what had seemed, at first, a totally possessive and an unnatural way. My overwhelming desire to protect her, to shelter her, had no basis any longer, but having known her so intimately as a human, some part of me still held the belief that she was fragile, delicate and in need of my protection.

It was unfair to keep her from the world especially when a huge part of me longed to share it with her. She needed to explore and grow and in my desperate need to protect and possess her, I tied her to me with what I feared were delicate threads that could break at the slightest tug.

I suffered her absence the first time we were separated. The first outing Bella went on with my sisters and Esme forced me to see how ridiculous my obsession with keeping her from harm could become.

That first trip had not been a planned shopping trip, just spur of the moment. Part of me wanted to cry out, wanted to put a stop to any trip that didn't include me. I couldn't stand the thought of her being out of my sight, especially when the pain in my chest sprang to life. A pain I had not felt since the first few months of her change. I knew it was caused only by my own anxiety and fear. However, the rational part of me knew it was safe, knew it was the only way Bella could learn and grow in her independence.

Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett tried to calm me, did their best to convince me that Bella was not only in safe hands but also quite capable of leaving the house on these little shopping trips. Esme, Alice and Rosalie would protect her if needed and would never intentionally expose her to a situation that would put her or any of them in danger.

I knew this to be the truth, to be absolute fact, but I couldn't help it. It was the hardest thing I had been forced to face since we had started our lives together.

I paced the house and surrounding woods uncontrollably from the second they left the driveway until the second I could hear the sound of Carlisle's car returning and the thoughts of Esme, Alice and Rosalie seeping back into my head.

When they finally returned, I was waiting in the driveway as calm as I could make myself appear knowing that Bella would _feel_ the truth.

She jumped from the car before it even stopped moving and threw herself into my arms with an enthusiasm she could barely contain. Crashing into me with thunderous force, we fell to the ground, kissing and touching each other as if we had been parted for days, months, years.

As I kissed her, held her in my arms, my back in the soil, her body covering mine, I found that what I believed were delicate threads tying us to one another, were in fact stronger than any steel cables, indestructible, everlasting, unbending, wrapping us, binding us together in their strength.

I thought… _this is love – pure, deep, all encompassing, unbreakable, and able to withstand any obstacles that could be thrown into our path love. _

And, incredibly enough, it would only grow.

I watched as Jasper backed the truck into the garage. It was still as old and rusted looking as it had been the last time I saw it almost 3 years ago.

After it sat on his brick driveway for a year, Charlie had confided in the doctor he had been seeing for his depression that he was planning to put a 'for sale' sign on it. It was time to let it go. Carlisle knew within minutes and after discussing it with me, had arranged to purchase it and bring it here to Alaska. I desperately wanted to give Bella something of her human life, something that was important to her and at the time, this old rusted truck seemed to be the perfect gift.

The almost deafening roar of the engine had changed only in that it sounded a little smoother than I had remembered.

"It doesn't sound too bad."

"Nah, these trucks were built to last." Emmett chuckled.

"You didn't _fix_ anything did you?"

"Rosy really wanted to but… no… just changed the oil, spark plugs, flushed the radiator, stuff like that."

"Thanks. I don't have any clue how Bella will react when she sees it. I'm beginning to wonder if this is such a good idea."

"Well, she won't let you by her a car so what other choice did you have?" Emmett was right of course. "It's not even like you're really giving her a gift – you're just returning her property."

Abruptly the engine stopped. Jasper climbed out of the cab, shut the door with a solid thud and tossed me the key.

"It'll be a classic once Rosalie gets through with it." Jasper ran his hand down the dusty fender.

"No one is to touch it until after Bella sees it. It belongs to her and I won't keep it around if it makes her uncomfortable."

"She's going to cry – Alice has seen that much, but nothing beyond that." Jasper brushed his hand off on his jeans as we all turned to walk out of the garage.

"I just want to mark the occasion." Three years. Three glorious years since the day I saved her. The anniversary of her re-birth, of the beginning of our lives together. "I know you celebrate the first day of your life with Alice and she looks forward to it, and even though it's never much of a surprise, I know she really appreciates your efforts."

Jasper nodded and I understood. Alice had loved Jasper well before she ever met him in person though it took Jasper a while to give in to her, to allow himself to return her love. But, once he did, once he committed himself to her, he would never leave her side.

As I pressed the code into the keypad next to the garage door, Emmett spoke up.

"Rosy and I celebrate the day she pulled my from that bear. In the beginning it was not that big of a deal but now… well, it's just kind of morphed into this month long celebration where we rarely leave the hotel room except to hunt." He was smiling, his thoughts were filled with love and happiness. When it came to Rosalie, he could be extremely sentimental.

There was a time when his comment and his lust filled thoughts would have completely grated on my nerves and he would have said it just to get a rise out of me. However, I had just recently spent an entire month alone with Bella and we had engaged in exactly the same behavior without the excuse of a celebration.

The garage door slid down locking Bella's old red truck securely inside. I planned on presenting it to her in 3 days, along with the house plans and hoped that each of these gifts would balance the other, though in the back of my mind, I knew that both would cause her as much grief as happiness.

xxX0Xxx

I sat in our bedroom at the drafting table looking over my completed plans. I could have purchased a computer program to help me do most of the work, but drawing them by hand had been so much more satisfying.

I was adding little finishing touches to each set of plans, one set for the home we would build next to the family home here and one set for a home somewhere else – Bella's choice.

We could not stay in Denali forever, but with the wonderful isolation this location afforded us, we would not need to sell this property either. It would always be our home as Forks had been for so many years. With a vitally important difference, we had no treaties to abide by, no pack of wolves to contend with, only Bella's memories of Jacob's threats.

I had designed both homes around a central point, the grand pianos I was having custom built. Both homes were open with loft bedrooms. I had incorporated many natural materials to absorb and reflect sound to mimic the feel of a small concert hall and still feel like a home.

This was another gift I would give to Bella. Freedom.

It was not a completely unselfish gift though… it was just as much a gift for me as it was for her - to share with her without limitations in the most intimate moments of pure passion.

Then, I felt her… her thirst, her desire flowed over me wrapping me in a sudden wave of love. It was unnerving how she moved so silently. She had gone from a klutzy human who had trouble walking over a smooth surface without sustaining an injury of some sort, to an angel full of grace and beauty, even though that was always how I saw her.

Each of her slow human movements had entranced me from the moment we met and now even more so. The amount of time I used to spend just gazing on her mortal form was nothing compared to how she affected me now in her vampire state. She was sheer perfection. Moreover, when her emotions did not precede her, she could be as undetectable as Carlisle.

Her hands touched my back, moved slowly over my shoulders, down my chest, caressing me as her lips found my ear.

"I hunger." Her enticing whisper carried not only her thirst for blood, but also her hunger for something more.

"I can feel it, my love."

"I can ask Alice to take me if you're busy." She teased.

"No, I need a break, but you could ask Alice if she would like to come along." I teased back knowing this was a hunt she did not wish to share.

"She's not thirsty, really." She pouted.

I turned on the chair wrapping my arms around her small waist as I gazed into her dark amber eyes. I could tell by the color that she wasn't that thirsty either; nevertheless, it made me smile to know she needed to be with me… alone. "Are you ready?"

Her fingers combed through my hair to the back of my head. Her mouth fastened on mine and kissed me slow and deep.

"Are you?" She whispered against my lips.

"Always."

xxX0Xxx

I lay on my back in the small clearing soaking up the warm light shining down from the summer sun. My shirt lay off to the side, another piece of clothing I would toss in the trash. The mountain lion I had tussled with had tried to sharpen his claws by exposing my skin. Unfortunately for him, though my shirt was ruined, his claws were of little use against me.

Bella's hand moved softly over my bare chest, tracing the lines of muscle with her fingertips. Her touch was amazing, arousing everything in me that was inherently male, my desire for her as a woman, and my need to protect her, as illogical as it was now that she was no longer human, but one of my kind.

She had always been brave, too brave for her own good. She had also been kind, compassionate, loving and loyal, but now she had the strength and abilities to take care of herself. I just had a very hard time coming to grips with that fact and letting her do it.

She leaned over me, her long silky hair sweeping over my skin as her lips lovingly touched the center of my chest.

A memory flashed in my mind of a time not so long ago, in a meadow full of tall green grass, our meadow. She had kissed me in exactly this way sending electricity through me just as she did now. The memory was so perfect I could smell the grass, the trees, the earth, Bella's luscious human scent and the faint odor of werewolf. We had just made the decision to leave for Denali that night seconds before Jacob and Charlie had appeared at the edge of the trees.

"Bella." I whispered aloud. I could see her fragile human face before my closed eyes, the sadness and panic as she realized what was about to take place in that peaceful hidden meadow.

Quickly, I wiped the memory away.

Bella was with me now and nothing could ever change that. She belonged to me, she chose me. Even though I had to bring her into my world in a way not of my choosing and under less than controlled circumstances, that was all that mattered.

I reached out and pulled her to me, moving her body to cover mine as my mouth found her neck. Though the bite I had given her left no scar, I slowly licked the precise spot where my teeth had sliced into her delicate skin, letting my tongue run over her smooth skin and down to the hollow of her throat, teasing her as I had when she was human. She responded eagerly by releasing her desire on me, causing a moan of delight to escape from deep within me.

I loved her so deeply, so passionately, I wanted to share every most intimate part of both mind and body with her.

Keeping the secret of her gifts had been wearing on me and in moments of weakness such as this, I longed to tell her what I had done, anxious to get it over with. What would it matter if I gave them to her one day early? Just as I had made up my mind to tell her, my cell phone vibrated, sending me a message, from Alice I was sure, that I needed to wait, this was not the time.

_Leave me alone Alice. I know what I'm doing. _I wanted to laugh as I pulled the little phone from my pocket.

"Don't." Bella's sweet melodic voice was a warning, a warning I chose to ignore.

My arm went up and I flipped the phone from my fingers. Nevertheless, before it flew even three inches, Bella had plucked it from the sky and slid it into her pocket. Grabbing for the annoying device, I flipped Bella off me and then over onto her stomach as she giggled and squirmed. I struggled to pin her, keep her still and then I lay my entire body along the length of hers sliding my fingers into her small pocket, extracting the phone and tossing it out into the forest where it would no longer be a cause of interruption to what should be a very private moment. I was enjoying the feel of her under my body too much for this interruption.

"I swear you do that just so you can buy the next new little gadget that's out!" Bella's laughter was music to my ears and the way her small form shook beneath me sang to my body.

I began to gently nip and bite at the back of her neck from one smooth shoulder to the other, leaving no skin untouched when the faint vibrations of another phone, her phone, drifted to my sensitive ears. I sensed that this was not just a call to keep me from giving Bella her gifts early. No one would call her phone while I was with her unless it was an emergency.

"Damn." Bella's giggles stopped immediately as I cursed. I had her phone in my hand, quickly glancing at the caller and raised it to my ear. "Yes, Carlisle?"

"Where are you?" His voice was calm, betraying no sense of urgency.

"Not far."

"I believe it would be wise for you to bring Bella home now. Alice has seen Demetri. He is on his way here, and he is not alone, but I feel there is no need to be alarmed."

"I understand, we'll be right there." I closed the little burgundy phone and placed it in Bella's hand. A wholly feminine hand which suddenly seemed so small and fragile.

"What's happened?" Her light topaz eyes were wide as a doe's while I gathered up the shredded remains of my shirt.

"Alice has had an unpleasant vision, Demetri is headed this way and he's not alone."

The closer we came to the house the brighter our family's thoughts became, the most pronounced being Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett was ready to defend us all, to take on all comers, to show the Volturi they had no right to drop in and check up on our family whenever it suited them.

Rosalie was cycling from fear to anger and back again as each second passed.

Bella and I stepped through the door and at that moment, Rosalie's thoughts shot through my brain as if she were screaming the words in my face.

_We can't do this…I can't do this… this can't be happening…Why? Why? Are they jealous? Are they afraid of us? Please…Not Emmett. We have to run. We have to leave now. _Her eyes flashed at mine – dark and full of fear.

Bella gently squeezed my hand. "Edward, what's going on?"

Carlisle gave her the answer. "I believe we are being summoned for a visit to the Volturi. We believe that Demetri was not only sent to make sure that you have joined us but to take you back for a visit as well. Otherwise, I am certain he would have come alone."

I felt Bella shut her emotions off completely. Obviously she didn't want anyone else experiencing what she was feeling at the moment.

"Alice has had a vision, she saw Demetri in Forks, he's tracking us. He went to the last place the Volturi knew we had lived and he must have picked up at least one, if not all of us being in such close proximity." Carlisle rose from the couch where he had been sitting, came over to Bella and took her hand in his. "The truth is Bella, there is nowhere we could run to that they would not find us."

_I wouldn't bet on that._

My eyes shot over to Rosalie as I pulled Bella securely into my arms, protectively pressing her face into my chest.

_They are coming for her! You brought this on us all! I refuse to allow Emmett defend someone who has brought this pain into our already unbearable existence. You should have killed her the day you met her._

Rosalie's thoughts were threatening and hateful, a deep growl that crept over my brain, so full of malice I couldn't stop the anger that sprang up inside me and came pouring out in a vicious roar. I felt Bella pry herself from my grasp, her emotions completely concealed just as Rosalie and then Emmett began yelling back at me.

"Stop it! All of you!" Carlisle and Esme shouted in unison.

Rosalie's anger and unwarranted fear of the Volturi had her lashing out in every way she could imagine, feeding the rage I now held inside.

An almost untamed snarl shot from my mouth, "I could kill you where you stand!"

_You would never get close enough! _Emmett's thought an immediate challenge.

"Edward!" Carlisle admonished.

_I will not die for her! _Rosalie snarled as her thought cut through me like a knife, seemingly severing all her ties to me…and to Bella.

_You self-centered_…"She would die for you!" I hissed.

"Edward! That's enough!" _Calm yourself. This is not helping. _My eyes flashed over to Carlisle. I heard the pain in his voice and his thoughts.

_Edward, please! _Esme pleaded silently._ Try to understand…Rosalie is frightened._

It was hard to believe that after all these years, after both of us spending time doing not much more than existing, Rosalie and I were actually arguing about living and dying! Staying _alive_, no longer just existing. Keeping the ones we love safe was crucial above all else.

A sudden peacefulness filled me. I knew it was coming from Bella. The thoughts invading my head were immediately settled as well. My urgent need to defend Bella at any cost, was gently lifted as she walked from my side, slowly crossing the room heading straight to the insufferable blonde I had called my sister for so many years.

Rosalie's dark eyes never left mine, her unremitting thoughts, which up until a moment ago, were so full of resentment and dread were no longer quite as hostile. She could not hold her anger with what Bella was putting out into the room and I had no doubt that Jasper was contributing to the over-all quiet also.

A soothing whisper came to me, _Edward, everything will be fine. _Who could I believe if not Alice?

Bella stood in front of Rosalie, her head tilted up. "Rosalie, I understand." Her words the barest whisper before she wrapped her arms around the cold hard statue Rosalie had become. The expression on Rosalie's face never changed – Bella could have so easily used either one of her powers to force Rosalie into submission but she used only her kindness and compassion in an attempt to melt her sister's icy heart.

"Bella, I don't need you to comfort me." Rosalie snapped though I could already hear her resolve melting away not only in her voice, but also her mind. She allowed her head to rest against Bella's as she wrapped her arms around her shoulders in defeat.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Her softly spoken apology was completely sincere. "You know I love you, but please…_please, I just can't_…say we don't have to go."

Even though it was not her intention, Bella's whispered reply carried through the room as if she had shouted it to the mountaintops. "No one does, I'm going alone."

Voices filled the large space of the living room, all yelling at once, each louder than the next as we all vied to make our individual points heard above the others.

"You're crazy if you think for one second we would let you go off with those Volturi thugs on your own!" Emmett was more than ready to face whatever should come our way with a smile.

"We don't have the time to stand around arguing about who is going!" Even though Jasper was shouting to be heard, he was as calm as could be, his thoughts already formulating a plan. "Alice has seen nothing to suggest we are in any danger."

"Aro, Caius and Marcus all know what Alice can see! They are fully aware of how her visions work! Aro read our thoughts, every thought we have ever had!"

"Edward, we'll deal with that if and when the time comes!" _I am working on a plan, Edward. Don't worry, none of us would allow anyone or anything to take your beloved Bella from you._

"I, for one, can't wait to do some dealing of my own. Who do they think they are?" Emmett looked directly at me. _We can train her, Edward, she is fast and strong and her powers combined with the rest of ours would be awesome. We would have no trouble at all taking these guys out. _

I felt physical pain in my chest as Emmett's thought crashed into me. _Oh, God no! No! No! No! I could never allow that. What if…What if I lost her?_

The need to stop the flow of thoughts and the direction they were heading was overwhelming. Alice was trying to convince us that Aro was only curious while Emmett was overly enthusiastic to show the Volturi our family could not be summoned at their slightest whim and Jasper believed only in preparing for the worst case scenario.

In those few minutes, their thoughts battered my brain, the levels rising as the tension built to an unbearable height in the room once more.

No matter how futile my efforts would be, I wanted to sweep Bella into my arms and run, to protect her from Aro's interest. However, I knew the Volturi would never stop seeking us. If we ran, they would pursue our family in an attempt to use them to draw us out. Our peaceful existence would vanish – we would be hunted like fugitives for all eternity.

I could never let that happen. I would stand with her. It was my right, my duty to protect her. She belonged to me and I would never let them take her from me.

I desperately needed to calm the voice in my own head, the one that still saw Bella as human, frail and weak. My hand wrapped around one of the ornately carved marble bookends that sat on the shelf next to me. I clenched my teeth in an effort to focus my fear and rage.

_Stop! Stop! Stop! _A curse erupted from my mouth as the carving flew from my hand toward the large window facing the deck. Before it flew even six feet, Bella disappeared from Rosalie's side only to reappear in front of the window, her hand directly in the path of the flying bookend.

"Bella. No!" I cried out, but it was too late – her small hand was already wrapped around the carving, the force of my throw carrying her into the window. No matter how fast I moved, I could not move fast enough.

_No please, God! Not again! _I couldn't stop the insane notion that she would be hurt, she would be cut in a thousand places by the shattered glass – she would bleed!

My body followed hers through the window. The glass exploded into a million pieces and showered us as we fell to the wooden deck. Even as we fell, her eyes never left mine, her lips curved into a smile at my absurd behavior knowing that I was once again trying to keep her from harm.

Then, her eyes went blank, her body stiffened beneath me for only a few seconds before she focused at some far off point over my shoulder. It was happening again – the memory of a past event was emerging.

Just as I saw it flicker in her eyes, I felt Emmett's hand grasp my arm and pull me up from her, then we both took hold of her hands and helped her to her feet as broken glass cascaded off us to land in small piles on the deck.

"Bella, we've learned around Edward that sometimes you just gotta let things fly." His booming laughter could not cut the tension that still hung heavy in the air.

My hands sought Bella's beautiful face, pulling her to me, close enough to kiss her, to breathe her in, to whisper my unending love for her. "Bella, you can't think for one second that I would let you out of my sight, let you stand alone?"

_Edward. _Carlisle demanded my attention,"We will ALL stand with her." _My decision is final. _

"You're damn right!" Emmett boomed once again, as I saw Rosalie flinch and felt her surrender to the unwelcome situation. "I wouldn't miss this for anything!"

I sighed knowing Carlisle's word was absolute. Bella's hands tenderly caressed mine then gently pulled them from her face as her eyes searched the room. She shook her head slightly and let out an exasperated sigh.

"Emmett, you absolutely cannot start anything! I have stood before them before and even if I don't remember how or why I came to be there, I know we are extremely lucky to still be here." Another frustrated sigh passed her lips, "Emmett, do you have any idea how horrible this life would be without you? Do you know how Rosalie would suffer? How we would all suffer?"

Without warning, Emmett's massive body slumped to the floor as his mind cried out in anguish. His arms wrapped tightly around his chest as if his huge frame were tearing apart inside. In those few seconds, all that could be heard was Emmett's tortured whispers.

"No, no, no – Bella…"

"Bella! Stop it! Please!" Rosalie broke the spell that seemed to grip us all.

Just as quickly as he had fallen, he was on his feet, his arms tenderly folding around Rosalie, pulling her to him, but not as a protective measure, more as if he hadn't held her in days.

_How could I ever know? How could someone be so empty inside and still so full of love?_

That one thought ripped at my chest.

"Bella, how do you ever live with such a … void inside you?" He was in total awe of her. She had shared something of herself that I would never wish to feel, the source of her power.

"I don't know, Emmett, I can't remember where it came from. It's just… part of me. I'm really sorry to have put you through that but you needed to know."

Pulling Bella into my arms, I held her tightly. I knew exactly where the void came from – it was my doing. I created that black emptiness trying to protect her by leaving her to live what I thought would be a normal human life. How could I have been so foolish to believe that now I had given her immortality, her hearts desire, a thousand lifetimes to share with me, the ragged void would be healed?

I was an idiot.

Her transformation from human to vampire should have healed all scars, however a few remained. The four pale jagged lines at her throat were a vivid reminder of Jacob's love for her along with the unseen emptiness my love had torn open within her. The two men who loved her most had left their marks upon her body and soul.

Emmett lifted Rosalie gracefully, affectionately into his arms carrying her up the stairs to their room, his thoughts only on her, his voice low and comforting.

"I promise I will not start a fight but you can't ask me not to protect you if I need to."

After a moment, Alice and Jasper disappeared from the room. Esme had moved to Bella's side, gently brushing glass from her hair.

"Bella, Aro is only curious." Her motherly voice so soothing, "He wants to see if you have developed any powers." _Something that may be of use to him. _Her loving eyes never left Bella.

"Since your mind is still locked to Edward, it may also be the same with Aro." _I have no doubt this is so and it will protect her. _With this thought, Carlisle began to systematically shut down the background levels of his mind. He had spent enough time with the Volturi in the past to know exactly what they would be looking for. "Don't show your powers to him until he asks. When he reads my thoughts, which I know he will, it will be impossible for me to give too much away, as even I am not aware of the extent of your powers and capabilities."

Slipping my arm around Bella's waist, I steered her toward the couch.

_Edward…? _I looked at Esme, giving a slight nod.

Carlisle sat down across from Bella, leaned over and took her hand as I left to help Esme clean up at least one of the messes I had created.

While Carlisle explained Alice's visions to Bella, I listened to Esme's reassurances.

_According to Alice, there is very little to fear. As it stands at this moment, he is only curious whether you kept your promise to change her and what, if any abilities have been discovered since she was turned. The only danger that exists would have come if Bella were found to still be human._

Esme had retrieved the broom and dustpan and within minutes, we had the scattered ruins of the window cleaned up without a trace. The only evidence that remained was the empty space where a window had been. We had no time to replace it before we left but it would be attended to upon our return. In the meantime, storm shutters would be used to protect our house in our absence.

I strolled to the couch, sitting near Bella but not touching her. I needed to think, to make a plan, but my mind was racing on so many levels, rational thought was almost impossible.

_Edward, it's no one's fault. _

Carlisle's attention had centered on me now.

I wanted to block him out – block them all… Emmett and Rosalie as they lay together, Rosalie insisting on promises that Emmett softly agreed to and would never break. Alice as she sat seeking the future for any small change that could affect the out come of our visit and Jasper running through a multitude of situations in his head trying to find the best and most effective solution to each scenario.

_Do not blame yourself, Edward. Saving her was the only option. Even if you had never returned to her – Aro saw her in your thoughts, he would have sought her out to make sure she had not survived her jump from the cliff and then finding her alive, he would have used her as a pawn. From what you have told me about his thoughts, I highly doubt he would have had you destroyed for revealing yourself. If you refused to join him, he would have used her to draw you and possibly Alice to him. To force your allegiance. You know that to be the truth._

I looked into his amber eyes, knowing it was true. He rose from the couch and left the room to join Esme in the kitchen.

Bella sat within arms reach though I could feel nothing from her. Without her feelings and with the absence of her thoughts, it was as if she were not really there.

Since I had brought her into this life, I was left without even the ever-present beating of her heart. In three years I had rarely thought of how much I had come to cherish the rhythm of her heart, the sound of her blood as it pulsed thick, hot and sweet through her veins, however in those few silent seconds as I sat so close to her, I realized how much I had missed them.

My fingers laced through hers as she began to rise from the couch, I desperately needed to feel her touch, to keep her safe in my arms. Gently, I pulled her down so her head lay in my lap, her light topaz eyes glittering up at me as I stroked her beautiful face with my fingertips.

Love washed over me, soaking me to my very bones as she closed her eyes and gave in completely to my touch. Her breathing slowed to an almost undetectable level and within seconds, she lay motionless, peaceful, perfect.

_What are you thinking, my love? Are you fearful? Do you ever wonder…? Do you ever… regret?_

Alice directed a thought at me, a warning…_They will be here in an hour._

I could not take my eyes from my love's face. Her beauty was beyond description and I could never seem to look at her enough. Suddenly, her mouth curved into a smile and I felt a warm happiness surround me. Then, just as quickly, a frown curved her mouth downward, her body shuddered and a crease formed in her brow. It lasted only a second – almost as if it had never been.

I realized in the next moment, she was experiencing another memory, something confusing. A memory she couldn't quite grasp. I watched as her brow continually pulled together forming a worry crease in her soft forehead. My fingers gently traced over her skin, smoothing out the lines as they formed there.

_What is it? What has you so confused?_

Her lips parted, rapidly whispered words floated to my ears – words she was not even aware she was speaking aloud.

"He wanted more…more than friendship… but I couldn't. I loved Edward. Where was he? Why did he leave?"

_Jacob Black._

Another Black memory.

No matter how much it pained me, he would always be a part of her past, present and future. I owed him many times over for what he had done to keep her safe, for saving her life when I had failed to be there for her – and for that, I was destined to share her with him even if he were nothing more than a memory.

Bella's hand drifted up around my neck pulling me to her. Our lips touched gently at first, then more passionately as her fingers twisted in my hair. Fireworks exploded within me, flashing pulses of lightning wiping away every thought of Jacob Black.

Bella opened her eyes and smiled, obviously feeling everything she was doing to me. Taking my hand, she rose from the couch, leading me willingly to our bedroom.

There was no fear in her liquid amber eyes. Nothing shown there but a smoldering bright golden flame of passion that burned away every other thought in my brain. I saw only her, felt her every emotion rush into me. Her love took away any fears I may have had of what was to come. All she left me with was a wanting, a need, and a desire to share this moment in time completely with her.

Her eyes never left mine as I took the hem of her blouse and lifted it up over her head, as she unbuttoned my shirt slipping it down off my shoulders. The back of her hand swept down the front of my jeans, a feather light caress before unbuttoning and sliding them to the floor. I slipped my hands inside her shorts, moving them over her hips until they fell and she stepped away from them into my arms.

Her beautiful eyes held me as I picked her up and lay her on our bed. My hands memorized every inch of her soft skin as my lips kissed hers repeatedly.

Her release was a slow shimmering wave of lightning, strong and deep and long. A completely controlled surge of energy that carried mine along with it, beginning the second my body merged with hers and lasting for what seemed like eternity.

She held nothing back, gave everything.

Keeping my mind open, listening for any changes Alice may see, I realized although everyone in the house was aware of what we were doing in our bedroom, the only one who seemed to feel Bella's intensely delicious emotions was Jasper and yet, he was not feeling them in an over abundance. She was focusing totally on me. With all her passionate energy flowing into me, I wondered vaguely if she knew she was succeeding in concealing it from everyone else.

I knew this would not be the last time we would ever lie in this bed, but it may be the last time we could be this intimate for a long while and I could never appreciate her gifts more than I did at that moment.

Each touch of her hands, the feel of her lips, each gentle rock of her slender hips as they reached up to meet mine, filled me with an endless urgent need. As our energy built to its greatest height, we rode it together, our eyes locked, as our bodies seemed to shatter into a million pieces before falling back to earth.

Alice's thoughts seeped softly into my head. She would alert Carlisle that Demetri was within ten miles of our home. They would be on our doorstep within minutes.

"They're almost here." I whispered into Bella's silky hair. "Alice just saw them coming up the highway." I opened my mind searching for them, trying to catch their unfamiliar thoughts. "I should be able to hear them soon."

I lay wrapped in my loves' arms, our bodies still coupled, her passionate essence soaking into me.

_How can I ever find the words to convey how much you truly mean to me, how much I love you? How I would cease to exist if anything should ever happen to you?_

"Bella, I will love you forever. I will allow no one to take you from me and I will never leave you."

Her lips curved into a wicked little smile before her passion flowed over me with exquisite tenderness. It was an altogether erotically deep sensation.

"Edward, I'm glad you finally figured out that you will never be rid of me." She pulled me in tighter, her soft cheek pressed firmly into my chest, "In some very important ways, you are much more dangerous than the Volturi." Her fingers gently played with my ear, "If they were to take me, you would never stop fighting for me, you would never give up."

Just the thought that they would attempt to take her caused an unbelievable tremor of anger to pass through me.

"Never, Bella, I would never stop." I couldn't keep the deep growl contained as it flowed out with my words. However, it pleased her to hear it and I felt her joy rush through me.

Though she may not realize it yet…I believed if the Volturi tried to take her, control her in any way, she had the power to destroy them - she just needed to draw on it. All the evidence pointed to that one fact.

_But_… I wondered…_if I had never left her, never torn that jagged hole into her soul, would her power still be as great, as strong as it is now? Did my leaving give her the power she accepted and embraced as part of who she is?_

"I _will_ never stop protecting you. There would be no reason to exist without you. You are my life, Isabella." All the adoring words I wanted to speak were trapped within my throat, stuck on the tip of my tongue…words of love, eternal devotion and promise we had spoken to one another three years ago.

Our vows.

A pledge I suddenly wished her to keep and I prayed she would be willing to agree to once again. She still wore my ring, the symbol of my love never left her finger and I had never insisted that she fulfill her promise to me – nonetheless – I needed it now. My family needed a reason to leave Volterra intact. When the right time came, I would ask her to marry me, again.

_Edward! Oh, that's so wonderful! _Alice could have been screaming in my ear. The power of her thoughts smashed into me with amazing force as she squealed with delight in the other room. _I have been waiting for this moment! I thought you would never ask her again because I couldn't ever see you doing it and now I understand why! _

Bella raised her head looking curiously into my eyes.

"Damn," All I could do was smile sheepishly. "No one can keep a secret in this house."

"What secret is that?"

"I can't tell you, it's a secret." I took her left hand in mine and raised it to my lips, kissing the symbol of my love as a recognizable thought drifted into my head, Demetri. A string of orders floated across my brain, all contingent on whether Bella was still with our family and if she had been turned. I waited to hear the possible outcome of each scenario before I spoke.

"Carlisle was right," I gently kissed her tempting lips, "Everything will be fine."

A long sigh slipped from between her lips, all fear disappearing along with it. Not wanting to, but knowing I had no choice, I disentangled my body from hers bringing her from the bed with me. I dressed quickly then, moved to help Bella with her pants, pulling them up her slender hips and fastening them at her waist enjoying the feel of her skin each time my fingers brushed against her.

She slipped on her shoes as the sound of an unfamiliar car engine came up the drive stopping in front of our house. We could both hear as the men exited the car and traveled the few paces up the porch steps and to the door.

I looked into Bella's beautiful eyes, memorizing her face, the curve of her luscious mouth, trying to prolong the seconds before we would have to face them.

"They're on the porch." I took Bella's hand in mine and led her out to the living room.


	20. Chapter 20 Secrets Revealed

Chapter Twenty

Secrets Revealed

Four male crimson-eyed vampires stood silently surveying my family, Carlisle and Esme, Emmett and Rosalie, Jasper and Alice, Bella and I. We stood with each other – united together, an enormous combination of power and strength.

I heard each man's special ability from their thoughts and though not one of them could best one of us individually, together they enhanced each other's special ability. If it came down to a fight, we would have a hell of a battle.

As Demetri greeted Carlisle, his thoughts came to me in Italian.

_Il giovane ha mantenuto la sua promessa._

_Yes, a promise was kept… but it was never mine to keep. _I thought to myself.

Demetri's wine-red eyes stared unblinkingly at Bella. "You know why we have come." Carlisle nodded. Demetri's sharp eyes slowly swept the room. _Quanto potere c'è in questa famiglia._

My family _was_ radiating great power in a most non-threatening way; nonetheless, it was gratifying to hear that Demetri understood what we had together.

"I am pleased you didn't relocate too far from your last known home. We went through that little town, Forks, and I can understand why you left." _Puzza di lupo mannaro – insopportabile._

_._ His nose wrinkled almost imperceptivity at the thought. "We were curious where the foul odor had come from. It is a stench we did not recognize. Now we understand. The entire area reeks of werewolf." _Creature feroci._

It was all I could do to hide the smile that threatened to curve my mouth upward, Jacob's pack was indeed full of unbelievably vicious creatures.

"We lost one of our party while we were there. We must have crossed over their territory since they came out of nowhere and broke off their chase as we came close to your old house. I have not come across werewolves in years!" _Questa specie di lupi non ci è comune._

His thought confirmed my suspicions that the Volturi were not familiar with every species of immortal creature that populated the earth. Either that or they just were not interested, believing they were invincible.

"I had forgotten how vicious they are. I would have enjoyed staying to play with them awhile, but we had orders." Once again, Demetri's dark eyes alighted on my love, assessing her, appraising her.

"I see you decided to turn your pet into a lover. How…_ quanto grazioso, quanto all'antica___…quaint." His voice was smooth, almost bored in its quality, as if he could care less about who I chose as my mate. However, I could hear the inner workings of his mind and how important Bella was to the Volturi, to Aro in particular. _Puzza di lupo mannaro – insopportabile._

Aro had considered Alice and I a great asset to the guard and now it seemed Bella was included in his plans. Nevertheless, he would have none of us.

"We rarely keep our pets around long…_quasi mai se mai_ …they have to prove they have something special to offer."

Again, only his eyes moved, a red hungry flashing that landed on Rosalie and lingered for no more than seconds before returning to Bella. Emmett's expression never changed though his mind was working furiously as he swore at the crimson-eyed vampire in several different languages.

"Does this one have something special to share with us?"_Potere indefinibile__?_

_Indefinable power?_ Yes, even I had no idea the extent of Bella's power… yet.

"I seem to recall her mind was closed to you and Aro. Is it still closed to you, Edward?"

"Yes." It was all I could do to control my temper with Emmett swearing in my head. His anger was rubbing off on me and I wanted to shoot him a glare, but would not risk taking my eyes from Demetri.

"Nevertheless, Aro will do his own tests on her talents."_Useremo tutto il suo sapere per esporre ogniuno dei suoi poteri._

His face was expressionless stone, giving nothing away to the rest of my family, though… the thought that passed to me from Carlisle's mind echoed Demetri's thoughts.

_Aro will use all his ancient knowledge to expose her every power._

Demetri quickly motioned toward the front door. "We have a jet waiting for us."

The three guards we were not familiar with led the way out, Carlisle followed with Esme on his arm, then Emmett and Rosalie. I had never taken my arm from Bella's waist and pulled her even closer as we stepped past Demetri onto the porch. Demetri came out behind us with Alice and Jasper following close behind him, shutting the door to our home.

Both Alice and Jasper were carrying a couple of suitcases each. No one else had bothered to pack a single item for this trip. It could be taken in two different ways… they didn't bother because they were confidant that we would be returning very soon or… as a bad omen. However, the fact that Alice was prepared gave me all the hope I needed at that moment. I put my faith in her visions, we would be home very soon. Standing before the Volturi was not what I had planned for our three year anniversary.

Though Bella kept her power hidden for now, Jasper was sending out calming waves, keeping all around him tranquil and composed.

_Nothing has changed, Edward. They will contact the Volturi to inform them that we are on our way as soon as the plane is in the air._

I nodded to Jasper, thanking him for the information as Alice came up next to Bella, sliding her arm through Bella's, her eyes glittering and her smile infectious. She was almost floating on air from excitement; bursting to tell the secret she had seen the second I had made the decision to ask Bella to take me as her husband.

_So? When do you plan on asking her? Make up your mind already!_

I flashed my coldest stare at her, refusing to decide when so many other things were happening around us.

_Come on Edward! There's no reason we shouldn't all be happy on the way there. Bella and I could be making all the plans and have everything settled for when we get back. I could probably see the date and where it will take place and, oh my gosh, we could buy the most beautiful wedding gown while in Italy! I'll just wait until we get on the road._

"Alice, don't you dare." I snarled playfully, fast and low.

_Edward! You're no fun! _"Of course not!" _Besides, I was only kidding…I'll wait until we get on the plane._

Bella looked up into my eyes, I wore her favorite grin on my face, I couldn't help it. Just the thought of making her my wife, binding her to me eternally in one more way, sent an overwhelming sense of happiness through me.

The ride to the airport was uneventful. I kept my mind on the guards in the car ahead of us. They gave nothing away with their thoughts. I knew they would have been alerted to my mind reading ability and to how Alice's visions worked. They could hide their thoughts from me by focusing on other things but they didn't even try. They seemed to be in the dark about Aro's plans and I was sure he wanted it that way.

However, Alice's visions worked differently. She couldn't see anything if the intent to commit to an act had not yet been made. But, she was able to see ahead… see that we would be leaving and returning home and when I made the decision of when to ask Bella to marry me, she would see the outcome after Bella's answer.

Bella's answer. I hadn't even given a thought to the fact that Bella may try to talk me out of getting married. Suddenly, I could hear all the logic she would try to use to keep from having to go through a wedding, from the expense to every other little excuse she may feel the need to discourage me with.

These thoughts were at the forefront of my mind all the way through the security check until I was forced to bring my mind back to the present.

Bella pressed her cheek firmly into my chest, her body tensing up as the face of one of the security officers suddenly filled with blood, blushing from the brush of Rosalie's finger. Carlisle, Jasper and I all held a collective growl in our minds at her foolishness.

I felt Bella relax in my arms, her face came up as I lowered my ear to catch her rapid whispers.

"How could you stand it when I blushed like that?" Her whispered words brought the perfect picture of her blushing face to my mind. So hot and glowing with the presence of her fiery red blood pooling in them.

"That man's blush was nothing compared to yours." I whispered into her hair, "Your blush was intoxicating." I couldn't help but smile at the picture I held in my mind.

As we walked to the jet, I kept Bella tight against my side, my arm wrapped around her waist trying to block the memory of the last time we had been on a plane together, Bella had been so wiped out from lack of sleep she could barely walk. Her sad eyes would not leave my face and my eyes never left hers. I was so afraid she wouldn't take me back after all the pain I had put her through. I had been such a fool, such a complete and utter idiot by leaving her in the hopes she would go on to live a normal human life.

She had tried and when she could no longer hold on, Jacob was there to catch her when she fell, to bring her back to life. I was thankful to him every day, and thankful to Alice for going against my wishes and returning to Forks when she believed Bella to be dead. Thankful forever that Bella and Alice raced halfway across the world, came for me in my darkest hour and prevented me from making what would have been the second largest mistake of my sorry existence.

Now that I had Bella with me, I was dragging her back into a world that held nothing but lost nightmarish recollections for her. This visit would no doubt bring on an influx of past memories, opening them up to her, more than likely causing her pain. The reason why I had left her would become clear. All I could hope was that it didn't occur while we were in the presence of the Volturi.

Once aboard the plane, Emmett caught my eye with the somewhat sheepish grin on his face. His voice in my head reminded me, for a moment that seemed to be long in the past, we had almost been at each other's throats.

_Edward, sorry about you know… It was all my fault. Rosy would never have acted that way if I weren't such an ass._

I smiled and nodded, even though we always apologized to each other, they were not necessary words between us. We had been together for so long, through so many arguments and other stressful situations, moving from place to place, hiding our existence from humans, bringing Bella into our family, an assortment of other things we had each done or said, but we always apologized and always forgave.

Emmett flopped down in one of the many dark brown custom leather seats that were arranged artfully within the large open area of the jet. The plane began to roll down the runway, picking up speed and finally left the ground.

Three of the Volturi guard sat down in seats close to the cockpit. A large room divider that held a wall sized high definition TV separated us from them. Demetri went into the cockpit for a moment before returning to sit in silence with the rest of his companions.

"I've gotta get one of these! How 'bout it, Edward? You wanna go in for one?" Emmett had already made up his mind that it would be the first thing he would do once we returned from Italy. It would be a present for Rosalie. A shameless act of repentance for failing to realize how upset he had made her with his reckless behavior.

"I'll think about it." It didn't really matter what response I gave, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. It would be… fun… and it was time.

"It'd be great! At least we wouldn't have to worry about taking Bella through an airport anymore!" He smiled warmly at the angel in the seat next to mine.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence there, Emmett." Bella knew he was only teasing her.

"Oh Bella, you know I love ya, but sooner or later you're just gonna have to get off the continent!"

Bella leaned into my side; I tucked her under my arm wrapping it around her shoulder. "That's one way to look at it I guess." There was laughter in her voice but beyond that, her feelings were utterly concealed. Her head came to rest on my shoulder as she relaxed into me. "If we did buy a jet, where would we go first?"

In the second it took me to begin to think about all the wonderful places I would love to take her, Alice didn't hesitate with her answer.

"Oh Bella!" She was bubbling over with excitement and I could see in her mind that we were definitely purchasing a jet when we returned home. Flashes of exotic locations drifted into my head, places to see, and places to shop. "There are so many wonderful places to go! There is so much of this world that you need to see!"

I couldn't help but laugh. "We're not buying a jet just so you can go shopping." With that, Rosalie also realized that the decision had been made and both her and Alice launched into their own private conversation, making plans.

Bella turned in her seat a little bringing her lips close to my ear. "Edward," She whispered, "take me someplace."

I looked down at her sweet angelic face. It hurt to think that her bravery was waning now that we were in the air flying to the last place any of us ever wanted to go. Barring any other unforeseen complications, I would do my best to distract her from dwelling on the situation we found ourselves in. I laid my head back on the seat searching my memory for the first place I would love to share with my angel. Some place peaceful, serene, private and sunny, far from the seemingly endless snow.

"There is an island off the coast of Croatia. It's a national park so no one is allowed to live there." I looked over at Esme and Carlisle. "Esme, do you remember that beautiful villa we rented for awhile?"

Esme smiled and nodded. _Of course! It was so beautiful there. It would be wonderful to see it again. Bella would enjoy it so much._

"It was before the rest of our family joined us. We would swim over to the island, hike all day and never see anyone." I gazed down into my loves golden eyes and smiled remembering how Carlisle, Esme and I had spent our days and nights while visiting there. "We used to jump off the cliffs into these huge pools. Bella, you would love it, just your kind of extreme sport."

Bella's eyes became wide, her body tensed next to mine. She was looking right at me but not seeing me at all. An utter blankness filled her loving eyes.

It was happening again and at a most inopportune time, with the Volturi guard as witnesses. She gasped for breath as if she couldn't breath. I desperately wanted to help her. However, there was nothing I could do but wait for it to end.

My family's thoughts instantly became concerned but no one spoke, trying not to alert the guard to what was happening. But Bella was beginning to lose control of her emotions as she went through the memory, letting it take her, processing it and soaking it in. We all felt it… the feeling we were suffocating, gasping, drowning.

Jasper immediately used his power to counteract what Bella was putting off, but I could hear the Volturi guards becoming agitated as they experienced the same frightening emotions.

Within a second, Demetri was standing in the isle looking directly at Bella, a curious look in his eyes.

_B__eh, difatti lei possiede un potere particolare. Incontrollato, ma tuttavia molto percettibile._

Demetri found Bella's power curious… he considered it uncontrolled but still apparent. However, I didn't have the time to reflect on his thoughts. Bella's struggle to assimilate the memory that had her in it's grasp seemed to be easing up, I could see by her reactions, it was almost over.

Suddenly, her hands flew out and grabbed the armrests of her seat keeping her from flying from the chair in a panic.

"Bella!" I couldn't help but call out to her, try to bring her back to me.

Her eyes were wide and frightened as she gasped in a breath that she really didn't need before a strangled whisper came from between her lips.

"I drowned?" She inhaled another gasping breath, letting it flow out with her next almost inaudible tortured whisper, "I jumped from a cliff just to hear your voice one more time."

I wrapped both arms around her tiny frame, pulling her from her seat to rest on my lap as I whispered into her hair. "Oh, Bella." I knew exactly what she had remembered…the night she had jumped from the cliff in La Push. The night I believed she had taken her life, the night I decided to give up my existence in hopes of following her in death. The reason she had ended up standing in front of the very vampires we were now flying to stand before once again.

Molto interessante.

Demetri raised only an eyebrow, otherwise, he was completely emotionless, stoically impassive concerning Bella and her talent, then turned and went back to his seat.

Bella's hand crept around my neck, pulling me to her, "Will the bad memories ever stop coming back to haunt me?" her voice was a heartbreaking murmur.

"No, they just become easier to bear." Kissing her forehead, I wanted so badly to comfort her, to make the memories stop, knowing that they never would and that she needed each and every one of them to become whole again.

Her arm came farther around my neck holding me possessively, needing me, wanting me. Her emotions swamping me with her burning fears and desires. As our lips met I kept my mind open to those around us, everyone should have been able to feel all the passion she was pouring into me… but… the only one who seemed to be concerned at all was Jasper.

_Edward!_ "Bella that might not be a good idea right now." _The guards have already experienced her power, I don't think this is wise._

Bella broke our kiss and annoyance flashed through me for an instant as she shot a glare at Jasper. "Can anyone else feel it?"

_No. _His questioning eyes bore into mine. "No." _Edward, I believe she has finally succeeded in perfecting the ability to conceal her emotions. _

"Fine." Bella smiled wickedly before returning her lips to mine for one more heated kiss.

"Rosy, how would you like to explore a jet engine, huh?" Emmett's thoughts were not on jets, and neither were Rosalie's. They both had the same passionate thoughts on theirs minds as their fingers intertwined.

"It would give me something to look forward to." She smiled at him, willing him to feel how much she loved him, "Promise me we'll buy one when this is over."

"I promise." It was a promise I would see that he kept. If it came down to a battle, I would set loose the monster that still hid so well inside me and destroy every Volturi guard to save my family. I would take them all on to ensure that my loved ones escaped. If I were to exist a thousand more years, this would be the last visit we would ever make to Volterra.

The city of Volterra had become Roman around the 3rd century with ruins inside the city walls. If the Volturi had not chosen to reside there, it would be a wonderful place to explore. The architecture of the two castles and the many remains of the Etruscan Lucomoniae known as Felathri, rivaled that of many other European cities, towns and villages. The stone buildings with red tile roofs, two, three and four stories tall loomed over us as we drove the narrow streets into the heart of the city.

I kept my mind open to catch any unguarded thoughts floating around the city when Alice's voice and thoughts came to me loud and clear.

"As soon as this is over, I'm heading straight out to buy something, anything and then a nice long walk through the city tonight would probably do us all some good." _Edward! If you're going to ask her, please do it soon…before we get there. _"Bella, I know you detest shopping, but don't you think that for just this once you might like to go? We could all go."

Bella leaned into me just a little more, contemplating her answer. "I think I would enjoy that very much, Alice. I'll need to hunt first though." I could hear the relief in Bella's voice knowing that if Alice were already making plans, we would be surviving this inquisition.

There would never be a better time to propose.

Suddenly, Alice squealed in excitement as her hands beat on the poor steering wheel. _Oh Edward!_

"If I would have known it would make you so happy just to share a shopping trip, I wouldn't have made such a fuss every time you dragged me out with you."

"It's not that, Bella!" Alice was shaking her head, bouncing up and down in her seat as she stared at me in the rearview mirror. "Edward!"

I took Bella's hips and turned her quickly in her seat to face me, her liquid golden eyes locked onto mine as I took her hands, intertwining our fingers.

"Bella…" My breath caught, I was almost as nervous as I had been the first time I had proposed to her in the restaurant over three years ago. "Bella, will you marry me? After we leave this place, as soon as possible …marry me here, in Italy?"

Bella didn't speak, didn't smile, just looked at me as Alice's squeals came alive once again with the vision that flashed through her mind… I couldn't help but see Bella's answer in Alice's thoughts. Still, I wanted to hear the words from Bella's lips.

"Alice, please!" I had a difficult time keeping the sheer joy out of my voice, but I knew that Bella would have felt it coming off me already. Bella looked down at our hands, her delicate ones holding onto mine, the ring I had placed on her finger three years ago sparkling up at me.

"I was beginning to wonder if you would ever ask me again." Her playful musical voice gave her away, she was teasing me, drawing out the moment, making me anxious to hear the answer I knew she was withholding from me. Then a purely human expression came to her half hidden eyes. Shyly, she looked up at me from under the crescent of her lashes, her joy hitting me full force, before throwing herself into my waiting arms.

"Yes, Edward, yes, yes, yes!" her sweet lips capturing mine in a frenzied kiss full of happiness and delight. My hands moved all over her, touching her, caressing her, feeling her happiness and giving her mine. More than that, I wished I would have asked her in private so I could have had the opportunity to enjoy her exuberance and share with her fully, let my body show her the complete and unconditional love I felt for her that my words never seemed to adequately express.

"Oh, does this mean a wedding dress and all the trimmings?" This was something Alice could not see as everything depended on Bella's answer.

Bella pulled her lips from mine but kept her gaze on me waiting for me to answer, "It's up to Bella." Bella's fingers were twining through my hair.

"We are doing this just once, right?" Her eyes were sparkling, but I knew if we did this, she would only wish to go through a wedding once.

"That is also entirely up to you." It didn't matter to me how formal or informal she wished it to be. It was one more way to tie her to me for always… in the eyes of God. Something I had debated ardently with Carlisle over the years, but had began to accept as truth since Bella came into my life.

"Yes." A sumptuous smile spread across her face, and at that moment, I wanted nothing more than to hold her to me and kiss her sweet lips. "A wedding dress and all the trimmings." Wrapping my hand around her neck, I pulled her mouth back to mine, kissing her as if it were the last kiss we would ever share, all the while knowing that there were many more kisses to come, kisses I would never tire of as long as I existed.

7


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

Alice pulled the rental car up behind the black sedan which Demetri and the three other guards were exiting. Taking Bella's hand, I pulled her out of the car and into the shelter of my arms before heading through the door into the ground floor lobby. I had no need of a guide, I knew our destination; up the elevator and into the plush lobby that stood as a façade for unsuspecting human tourists. Tourists who would never again see the light of day after setting foot inside.

However, I forced those thoughts from my mind and concentrated on the thoughts that surrounded me.

The members of the guard were relaxed, at ease as we made our way thru the lobby to the elevators. Demetri's thoughts stayed primarily on Bella. Intrigued by her abilities, he marveled at how she was able to cause all in the jet to feel so uncomfortable. He struggled with the difficulty he was having in describing what he had experienced, a pressure, a heaviness in his lungs, the need to breathe even when he knew in his mind that it wasn't necessary for him to do so. The word 'drowning' never crossed his thoughts until after he heard Bella speak it.

Her power was different from Jasper's in that she could make you feel more than an emotion, it was also a physical response, especially when she was in the midst of a memory. Keeping her emotions concealed depended largely on the strength of the memory and how vivid it became, and whether it was a pleasant or unpleasant memory.

The elevator doors opened and we stepped out into the familiar reception area. Three of the guard walked swiftly down the hall and disappeared. Demetri strolled over to the woman standing behind the large dark mahogany reception desk and nodded with a smile.

She was another human who knew, just as all those who stood that post, exactly what went on here in this place of death. Moreover, just as Giana, the woman who had been here before, this woman hoped against all hope that they would allow her to join their family. Her desire to become Demetri's 'mate' was strong and built entirely on false attentions he had paid her in the past.

Demetri had no desire whatsoever toward her as a 'mate'. He was a loner, a guard above all else. She was nothing more than another in a long line of humans destined to become a delicious meal. He would have sunk his teeth into her right then and there if he were not under orders. She had been promised to him to do with what he would. Demetri did not intend to turn her, he would only feed from her and discard her as so much rubbish, thinking of her as less than a 'pet'.

I watched as Demetri reached toward her hand, stroking her fingers with his, just the slightest touch, enough to cause the blood to rush to her face. I moved, blocking Bella's view of the vulgar display.

_Vulgar display? Who am I to judge Demetri's intentions? I did exactly the same thing to Bella. _

I touched her in so many ways and so many times, knowing full well I would produce the same reaction in her. The slightest brush of my finger along her cheek or a feathery light kiss to the hollow of her throat would cause her face to flush the most intoxicating scarlet. My selfish desire to fill her cheeks with warm sweet blood was not because I wanted to feed from her above all else, but because I loved her with all my being and fought my desire for her blood every second. She would not have survived after the first day I met her if I were as ruthless and bloodthirsty as Demetri. I was under no orders not to take her, only my own sense of right and wrong.

Focusing on my family, on their thoughts and feelings would be much more productive then judging the actions of a being who's fundamental attitude toward the human race was so far from my own.

In searching my family's thoughts, I noticed that Jasper was not employing the use of his gift to help us in any way. He was permitting us to feel what we needed to feel. He would use it only when he deemed it necessary.

Bella kept her power well hidden, I felt nothing from her, even with her body pressed so close to mine, the velvety inside of her arm brushing against the hand that held the curve of her waist. I had become so accustomed to feeling something from her at all times. Her love continually washed over me every moment we were together. Even when she was aggravated or annoyed with me, her love was always there. It was startling to discover how terribly I missed feeling her, as if an essential part of my very nature were lost somehow.

Alice was in high spirits. Visions of the future filled her head and at that moment, she saw us leaving, walking out of the building… together, and most importantly, unharmed. There was no question about it. Unless something completely unforeseen occurred, our stay in this building would be extremely brief.

Still, even though Alice had informed him of her vision, Jasper's eyes were carefully seeking every advantage to a hasty escape if one proved to be necessary. He had made up his mind, as I had, he would fight to the death to secure the freedom and safety of our family.

Carlisle kept his mind focused on the one pathway that remained open. To not hear all his thoughts was almost uncomfortable. His thoughts had always been organized, familiar, and easy for me to gather important information from when it was necessary. He had been my greatest teacher, I had learned so much just from overhearing his brilliant mind at work. From living with Aro for a time so long ago, he had learned how to shut off his thoughts, to keep certain memories private, to bury them deep and guard them well, locked away where Aro could not reach them. I had no idea what he felt he needed to hide, but just the fact that he could was remarkable.

Even though her outward appearance was calm and serene, Esme was extremely tense. She too, had thoughts of battle streaming relentlessly through her brain. We were her family, the only family she had ever known, who loved her for who she was with all her faults, which she refused to believe were few if any. We were her children, when the time came, she would protect us. Esme loved each of us unconditionally, would give her life for any and all of us. Yes, she had the capabilities to be extraordinarily dangerous where her family was concerned. To doubt her abilities was nothing short of foolishness. However, we would never allow her to sacrifice herself for us. Never.

That left me to center my attention on the two most volatile vampires in the room. Emmett and Rosalie.

_Are going to tell everyone else?_ Jasper's question came to me just as I shifted my eyes toward the corner where Rosalie and Emmett stood looking into each others eyes. I nodded and with my arm still securely fastened around Bella's small waist, I moved her forward.

The second we moved toward them, Emmett tore his eyes away from Rosalie's angst-ridden gaze. She looked down, not wanting to look directly into my face knowing all the while that I read it straight from her tortured thoughts.

Rosalie was more frightened than I had ever seen her. She was overwrought with fear, so much so she wasn't even breathing. Her brain raced through so many scenarios of death, she was almost incapable of speech. For the first time in her existence, she was truly terrified. She knew, just by Alice's reactions to the whole situation, that we would be leaving, our family intact, but she also knew how eager Emmett had been. That alone kept her from thinking in any sort of rational manner. How he was not just one to talk tough, but to take on all comers.

Rosalie knew how Alice's visions worked as well as everyone else in our family. Emmett did not have the intent to fight, but he could change his mind at any given second. She had forced him to make her so many promises. If a fight broke out, would he remember what was most important? Would he turn and run, taking her with him, protect her above all else? She was beyond a doubt the most selfish, self-centered, egotistical being I had ever met. Nonetheless, she loved Emmett fiercely and he loved her just as much. Even though the women in our family were just as capable as the men, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle nor I could do no other than protect the ones we loved.

Emmett's face was hard, serious. "Edward, don't worry." He muttered rapidly under his breath. _I promised._ There was no need for him to speak, I knew the man who stood before me would never break his promise. "Rosalie will kill me herself if I misbehave." _I would kill myself if something were to happen to her._

I had no doubt he would try, but it would never come to that. Not here and not now.

I overheard Carlisle and Esme's thoughts as Alice happily told them the news regarding our wedding.

My face broke into a grin I could feel deep inside, "After we are through here. Before we go home, Bella and I are getting married."

The smile that had been absent from my brother's face was now as wide as I had ever seen.

_You finally did it huh? Finally got up the guts to ask her again. And she agreed!_

Rosalie grabbed Bella in a tight hug, whispering her thanks as if we had made this decision solely for her benefit. Then she grabbed me, pulling me into a hug, as she never had before, again whispering her gratitude. I couldn't wipe the grin from my face, _let her think what she wants,_ it really didn't matter at that point.

Carlisle and Esme had crossed the room, their thoughts filled with happiness for us.

_Bella, dear sweet, Bella._ Esme was so emotional she couldn't speak. She gave Bella a hug and kissed her cheek before moving to me. _Edward, I'm so happy for you._ Then she pulled me into her arms and placed a kiss on my cheek as Carlisle stepped forward to hug Bella.

_My beautiful daughter._ After embracing her, he held her away from him, smiling, full of contentment. _Edward, I couldn't be more proud. Proud of you both. Taking this last step, making this life commitment. _

Carlisle's thoughts were interrupted by the appearance of one of the guard in the hall. He nodded in Demetri's direction. The Volturi had assembled and were waiting for us. Demetri stepped toward the hall, his hand sweeping forward. "This way please."

After passing through the antechamber, we stood for only a moment before walking across the stone tiles. I had learned so much from the thoughts in this room during my first and second visit here. So much I did not want to know, did not wish to remember. Nevertheless, I did remember, with perfectly clarity. They had shared their practices with me, a subtle means of what they had considered an enticement meant to recruit me into their guard. It had sickened me then, as it sickened me now, so much so that I had preferred death to joining their coven. I had grown to love a human, to love more deeply and passionately than I had ever thought possible and to be offered that which I had fought against with every fiber of my being was beyond offensive… it was unthinkable.

The huge circular stone chamber reeked of blood. Thousands, possibly millions of innocent humans had been slaughtered in this place. No amount of water could cleanse the stench of the horrific acts of carnage that permeated the very rock and mortar.

Only the first few to die would feel no pain – enticed with promises, all free will taken from them, charmed away. These vampires would enthrall their first victims before feeding on them in front of the other helpless cattle, causing all those who witnessed their feeding to panic, run screaming in terror toward the door that had been locked behind them. Hysteria would spread out through the crowd of onlookers enriching their blood with the massive amounts of adrenaline that would pour into their bloodstream.

Then the massacre would begin. Each innocent human soul sacrificed to the feeding frenzy.

Aro, Caius and Marcus were extremely civilized during the act of feeding, never spilling a drop as they were always the first to drain the life from their prey. But, the others… they did not just feed, they destroyed. They ripped frail human bodies limb from limb in order to quell their voracious appetites. They drank their fill, then, drank again, filling their bodies until they swelled, until they could not consume one more drop. Then they painted themselves in what was left, at times, rolling in the pools of blood that flowed and collected over the stone floor, their minds always on the feast.

It was disgusting, repulsive.

The sickening sweet odor was revolting, seeming to hang in the air, soaking into my skin – twisting my insides, coiling my stomach just as it had the last time I was here in this room surrounded by so much malevolence. With conscious thought, I ceased my unnecessary breathing, completely exhaled all the nauseating air from my lungs.

Yes, I had killed in the past. I had slain monsters of the human race and drank from them. I had even once destroyed in a fit of rage, but I had never enjoyed the killing, I had never bathed in the blood of my victims. At the time, I had the notion that I was performing a necessary service, protecting the innocent from not only my thirst, but also from the evil that preyed upon them. I was handing out what I believed to be justice. Nevertheless, it was not my place to do so and I carried the guilt of each death with me for eternity.

I had believed there were different degrees to the term "murder" just as they were defined by the human race, so it was the same with our kind. I was wrong. To take a human life, any human life, no matter the circumstances, was despicable, appalling… shameful.

I looked down into the face of the angel who had given her life to me, her blood in exchange for my company, for the companionship of a monster.

_Oh Bella, what have I done?_

Was she the exception? _Yes_. She was everything that was good and pure and innocent. Even though my venom had poisoned her, turned her into one of my kind, she had never tasted the blood of a human. She was not a monster. If I could protect her, keep her safe and sheltered, she would never know the guilt or carry the shame of taking a human life.

Bella knew I had killed. I had been honest with her… to a point. Was it dishonest to conceal certain truths? What would she think of me if she knew, really knew the monster I had been and what I had done in the past? Would her opinion of me change if she were to know the true number of humans I had murdered in the name of justice?

Bella had not yet been a witness to the atrocities our kind committed on a daily basis all over the world, the unexplained deaths, the hundreds of people who disappeared without a trace each day. We could recognize the work of our own kind, newborns murdering at random, the struggles over ever changing boundaries.

For those reasons only, we needed the Volturi and their guard.

There was so much that I had never told her about our kind. We went through our days and nights isolated from the rest of the world. We hunted, we made love, we enjoyed the companionship of our family, but in the three years since her change, I had never really given her much history on our kind. Bella did not know much more about the vampire race than she did the day I was forced to bite her and fully bring her into my world.

However, she knew what occurred here in this chamber. She had seen the faces of the humans who had filed past us as we were escorted away out to the lobby to wait until sunset. She knew in her small human heart, she knew then that every person who had walked past us that day through the antechamber had died within seconds after the door had been closed and locked. Even with that knowledge, her fragile human mind refused to fully comprehend the horror that took place here.

She had formed an opinion of the Volturi as monsters and our family did not fall into that category. She refused to see us in the same light. If she had, would she still be standing at my side staring into Aro's milky eyes or would she have fled, running and screaming, from me, from my family? _It is highly unlikely._ She never reacted to situations the way I anticipated. She was amazing.

We stood in a line facing the most ancient coven of all vampires. I let my eyes drift down to Bella's face for only a second; she was busy taking in the emotions that surrounded her, immense concentration very apparent on her beautiful face.

_Bella, my only love, my courageous angel._ I longed to take her fully into my arms and kiss her velvet lips. She twitched, blinked. The corner of her mouth straightened in annoyance. I had broken her concentration with my outpouring of love. I fought the smile that threatened to curve my mouth and swept my eyes forward to face Aro, the strongest of the Volturi. Because I had heard his thoughts before, they were familiar to me. He was indeed very happy to see Carlisle, his old friend. Then, I took a moment to gather in the thoughts of the others present in the room.

The chamber was full of unfamiliar thoughts all coming from the guard, a few had the intense need to feed, their throats burning with hunger. There were thoughts of jealousy and envy, mostly directed at each other, all vying for favor in the eyes of the ancients. Many were curious, staring at the odd golden color of our eyes, wondering how strong we could possibly be after living so long off the blood of animals. Many were extremely interested in why Aro did not view our large coven as a threat.

I scanned their thoughts quickly, and then focused exclusively on Aro, pushing all other thoughts to the back of my mind without blocking them completely.

Aro rose from his throne and gracefully crossed the room to stand in front of Carlisle.

"My old friend! How wonderful it is to see you!" Aro placed his ancient hands on Carlisle's shoulders and greeted him with a kiss on each cheek. _Il mio amico mi è mancato_. His hands slid down Carlisle's arms to grasp his hands.

"Aro, my friend." Carlisle's eyelids slipped down, Aro took in every thought available to him. He rifled through Carlisle's thoughts as if he were searching through pages of text, picking out words here and there, allowing himself to feel the emotions that accompanied the strongest thoughts.

He lived Carlisle's life through his memories, his schooling, his career as a physician, a surgeon. Carlisle's travels through the world were laid out to Aro much like a photo album on display.

Aro became intimately familiar with each member of our family, faintly tasting the memory of our blood, felt the remorse and guilt for each bite Carlisle inflected in order to save us. He felt Carlisle's vast loneliness fade as each new member came into his life, especially Esme.

Thoughts of Bella, all the questions Carlisle had surrounding the events that took place before her change. The traces of Victoria's venom that had inadvertently been left in her bloodstream, the fact that her mind that had been opened to me and once again blocked during her change, the speed in which she turned. Most importantly, the extraordinary gifts she possessed.

Aro slowly waded through the thoughts, soaking them in until he reached the memories of intimacy between Carlisle and Esme. Those he examined closely, not in any sort of perverted way, but to fully understand the great love Carlisle held for her.

_Amico mio, tu quì trovi amore, vero amore. Come io lo sospettavo, il tuo circolo non mette a rischio il nostro modo di vita__._

Yes, Carlisle had found true love. Above all, Aro understood we were no threat to the Volturi. Though many of us possessed unique gifts, we did not seek power, we only wished to exist in peace.

Aro smiled. "Thank you my friend. So many adventures and you have accomplished much more than even I thought possible." He released Carlisle's hands and looked to Esme, his smile warm and genuine. "You have taken a… _un compagno, un amante, _… wife? She is stunning, Carlisle." Aro's old hand reached toward her face, his finger tracing the outline of her features without ever touching her skin. _Così bella, così gentile. _

Esme stood motionless, her kind mouth curved in the faint smile she always wore. Her thoughts were clear, waiting only for Aro's touch, willing him to touch her, to read her determination, her love for her husband and her family.

_Non ho nessun bisogni di toccarti, di leggere i tuoi pensieri. Ti conosco già. _"You and Carlisle are so very fortunate to have found each other, two souls so perfectly matched." Aro lowered his hand and glided back from her as he bowed his head. He had no need to touch her having come to know her thru Carlisle's thoughts.

"Thank you, Aro," Carlisle waved his hand, pointing to each of us in turn, "And these are my children. My son Emmett, my daughter Rosalie, my son Jasper and you have already been introduced to my daughter Alice, Edward, my eldest son and Bella who has most recently joined our family as my daughter and Edward's wife."

_Molto interessante. Non si tratta solo di un circolo, ma di una famiglia in cui l'uno è legato a l'altro per amore, sotto la protezione di Carlisle._

Carlisle's introductions made it very clear to Aro and all present that we were not only a coven, but also a family bound by love.

Aro moved silently to stand directly in front of Bella. "Dear Bella, how glorious you've become." _Come sospettavo già, lei possiede un dono straordinario. Non è così, Edward?_

_An extraordinary gift? Most definitely._ Raising an eyebrow, I nodded once in agreement as behind him, Marcus left his chair, gliding to Aro's side.

Marcus had come to the same conclusion regarding our family. He could plainly see our relationship to one another the moment we stepped into the room. He would only confirm Aro's thoughts; none of us would join their coven, stand against the other members of our family.

Aro held out his papery hand as Marcus placed only the tip of his finger in the center of Aro's palm. Within a second, Aro read the thoughts of the other vampire, our relationships clearly revealed, our love and commitment to our family, our need to protect our loved ones at all costs flooded Aro's brain. I found it difficult to grasp every thought at the speed in which they were exchanged.

"Thank you, Marcus." _Sì, insieme, così come dovrebbe essere._ "Well, I can see that it would be foolish of me to ask any of you to consider joining us." His cold, faded burgundy eyes lit on Alice, then on me. "Edward, her mind has become closed to you again, but there was a short period of time when it had been unlocked. Very curious." He held out his hand to me. "Would you allow me, Edward?"

It was a request. He was unsure if I would open myself to him once more. If I wished to, I could decline. I could keep my intimate thoughts of Bella to myself, he would not force my compliance.

_He is respecting my privacy_.

I placed my hand in his and waited to feel the rush as he pulled my thoughts from the deepest corners of my mind.

Aro did not search deep or far. He found what he was looking for immediately… the meadow. Because I was able to hear the thoughts of others, Aro also heard their thoughts. He heard the moment Bella and I made the decision to leave Forks, Charlie's thoughts, Jacob's threats, Bella's fear and pain as the bullet passed through her body, my hunger as her precious blood flowed out onto the ground.

He felt the burning in my throat as I ran with her, my internal struggle to save her from my thirst. He heard my anguish as Alice showed me each horrible vision of Bella's death at my hands, at my teeth. He heard every thought my family bombarded me with in order to keep me from draining every drop of her sweet intoxicating blood, tasting her on his tongue.

Aro swept over my pain, my sadness, my love and my lust. My need to confess my weakest moment to her. The discovery of Bella's gift and the power she held in her voice. He soaked up every intimate and passionate thought I ever had each time I made love to my wife, stopping suddenly to examine my thoughts the last time Bella and I had shared our love.

"_If the Volturi try to take her, control her in anyway, she has the power to destroy them – she just needs to draw on it."_

Inwardly, I cringed. However, Aro pushed on, briefly focusing on my thoughts of marriage, of God, my need to protect Bella, to ensure she never need carry the guilt of taking a human life, the actual extent of Bella's power and my thoughts on whether my leaving her had anything to do with the strength of her gifts. He also caught Jasper's thought…_"I believe she has finally succeeded in perfecting the ability to conceal her emotions." _

Suddenly, Aro released my hand. There it was, the truth, or what I knew of it.

_Bella è davvero molto dotata, ma non ha raggiunto il massimo del suo potenziale. Che combinazione meravigliosamente pericolosa sarà quella dei poteri di Bella, Edward e Alice. Se venissero con me liberamente sarebbe meraviglioso. Ma… Io posso aspettare._

His suspicions confirmed. She had not reached her full potential, but she was truly gifted. He would not force anything upon us. Her power, combined with mine and Alice's was a very dangerous combination. Nevertheless, he was an extremely patient vampire and could afford to wait until we came to him of our own free will.

_It will never happen._ I felt my lip begin to curl, draw back from my teeth as the very thought of joining their coven twisted in my brain.

Finally, he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. "Yes, it was much more difficult than you had imagined, was it not, this la tua cantante?" He waited for my answer but I only nodded. "Your memories of taking her are so…_appassionato_… passionate, so vivid – they have filled my mouth with the taste of her blood. Exquisite. And yet, you found the strength to stop." _Il vero amore trionfa ancora una volta._

_It was not only my love for her that made her immortal, but the love of our family as well. _

"Your family loves you both very much having done so much to save her from your thirst. And to have been completely forgiven for this, _debolezza_… weakness, as you think of it…is quite a gift."

"Yes, he has been forgiven, without reservation." Bella's voice, so beautiful, so melodic, rang through the stone chamber crystal clear as a song sung by an angel. All eyes and thoughts focused on her. She was in perfect control, her emotions, her power totally concealed. I kept my arm tightly around her waist as she raised her hand to Aro, reaching out to him, daring him to take it.

He didn't hesitate, he took her hand in his, wrapping his ancient fingers around her soft skin and looked hard into her eyes.

_Neinte. Non sento nulla._

_Nothing…he hears nothing._

Within seconds, it was over. He released her hand and smiled.

"Bella, I'm afraid you are still a mystery to me." He paused. "I understand that you have never tasted the blood of a human."

I felt her take a breath before she spoke, each word set at the perfect pitch. "It makes it easier not to miss something I've never had."

Aro smiled and nodded, then directed his thoughts toward me as he moved to stand in front of Rosalie. _Edward, you have done well in protecting her, but she has eternity laid out before her, an eternity to step over the line, to cross over and become all she was meant to be. Will you stay by her side when the time comes?_

His eyes stayed focused on Rosalie while he aimed his thoughts in my direction, successfully blocking out all other thoughts in the chamber, keeping my full attention on him alone.

_You fear her love for this… Jacob, this werewolf. Because of this, you deny her nothing of yourself, Edward. You give in to her every desire. It is her true power over you, though you will not admit it even to yourself. Will you deny her need to use her gifts? To share them with those who need them. You have enjoyed them on many occasions, the feeling of relinquishing your control to her has given you pleasure you did not know existed. I would never ask her to harm another, I understand that is not the affect her power has, and that it is not painful. Is my offer so offensive to you, Edward? Would you and Bella not consider joining us to bring justice to those of our kind who threaten our existence, who threaten the exposure of all so called mythical beings and creatures who walk the earth in peace?_

I listened intently, but was unwilling to acknowledge his questions. I looked down into Bella's face. She, along with everyone else, had her eyes fixed on Aro as he stood silently assessing Rosalie's beauty, oblivious to the many questions he asked of me.

I reached out to hear my family, Emmett kept his mind clear, his body relaxed, his strong fingers loving intertwined in Rosalie's feminine ones. Rosalie was also calm. Now that we stood before the Volturi she had collected herself, buried her fear for the moment.

_This one, Edward, this one has a power she has not yet realized. Her beauty is legend. It would please me to have her join our family also._

"Rosalie, you truly are one of the most beautiful vampires I have ever seen. You must remember, it is the power of beauty alone that has brought down many empires. Pity… the troops you could command before you would be undefeatable."

Rosalie let out a small sigh, her mouth curved upward ever so slightly as her thought drifted light and soft like silk over my brain. _Screw you, Aro._

I clamped my teeth together. _Leave it to Rosalie to lighten the mood._

Never hearing her retort, Aro bowed his head to her before retreating to his chair and taking his seat. I could feel Bella fidget against me, the soft inside of her arm brushing against the back of my hand, she was restless, wondering what would happen next. She was never one for patience. I wanted to speak to her, to calm her but I didn't dare. All I could do was give her the assurance of my love.

All thoughts coming from the guard were focused on Aro, anxiously awaiting his test of Bella's powers. Aro sat patiently watching her, formulating his questions.

"Bella, your powers are similar to Jasper's are they not?"

"Yes, very similar."

"Make my feel something." As Aro closed his eyes and sat back in his chair, every guard in the chamber focused on Bella, shifting only their watchful crimson and black eyes.

Bella paused, the urge to look into her face was almost overwhelming, to know that she understood what was about to happen. However, that would mean taking my focus from the guard, and that I could not do.

"What would you like to feel?" Bella asked warily.

_Be cautious, my angel._

"Make me feel… _gioa_… joy."

At Aro's last word I heard it… the tighten of muscle, the slight movement of bone as each guard readied to attack. Still, I did not dare look into the face of my love. Did she understand his reason behind this particular request? Would she use caution? Would she hold back? _If I could only read her thoughts!_

With my hand still firmly and protectively around her waist, I twitched my fingers so slightly, a movement I knew immediately was not noticed by Marcus or Caius or any others in the room. From the corner of my eye I saw Bella's chin barely lift in my directions. _She understands._

_Ahhhh meraviglioso! _I knew she had focused wholly on Aro as no one else in the room felt the joy she had released on him. "Bella, that is wonderful!" Aro opened his eyes and sat forward in his chair. "Thank you for sharing it with me."

I felt Bella lean into my side giving me the opportunity to pull her tighter as Aro directed his thoughts to me once again.

_She holds back, Edward. I know this not only from your thoughts, but also from Carlisle's. Neither of you know how truly powerful she is. Nonetheless, I can feel it growing in her. _

Aro stood, his pale burgundy eyes never leaving Bella's face. "I believe you are capable of much, much more and will gain in strength as time goes by." Aro smiled, he was not a fool to be taken in by her weak display. Bella was dangerous, but just how dangerous, he was unsure. "Tell me about what it is you do with your voice."

"What would you have me make you do, Aro?" Bella asked reluctantly with a sigh.

_This is her greatest gift, Edward, the one that would be of most use to me. Whom shall I have her demonstrate this power on?_

He was amused. "Oh, not me dear, I've already had my fun. Let us have our demonstrations on…Jane." Aro's hand waved in her direction.

_No! Maestro, non mi! No! No! No!_ Jane sounded so much like a spoiled child, I was surprised she did not stamp her feet in protest.

Just then, so many thoughts bombarded my brain, thoughts of jealousy, revenge, amusement, fear, and death. I pulled Bella even closer. The need to protect her was eating at me, urging me to lift her into the safety of my arms and run from the chamber. Suddenly, I felt peace come over me, easing my fears.

_Thank you, Jasper._

_Edward, it will be alright. Bella will feel nothing from Jane._ Alice flashed a single picture at me, Bella and Jane. Bella's face angelic as always and Jane's in a fury. I took a breath and loosened my hold on Bella's waist. Aro smiled as he glanced over at Jasper, knowing that he was the one who had settled the room.

He motioned Jane forward, "Jane, be a dear and let Bella show us her power." His voice soft, smooth and compelling.

Bella's muscles tightened slightly as the small vampire came toward her.

"Aro, don't you think that maybe this demonstration would be better done on someone like say… Demetri?"

_Why Bella would ask such a thing? If she could control Jane, it would be the ultimate test. Of course… it would be the most dangerous test._ _If Bella could control Jane, Aro would… never stop…he would pursue Bella until… oh no. Please. Please be careful my love._

"Bella, don't be fooled by Jane's small stature. She is much more powerful than you know. Or is your power something completely physical?"

"I don't know Aro, I really don't know." Bella lied. It must have taken all her courage to do so. She knew exactly how the power of her voice worked. She used it when she lied, setting her pitch just so to make each word ring true.

I couldn't be sure if Bella realized it, but with those few words she had just closed the discussion. Any other questions Aro had were simply wiped from his mind.

_My beautiful courageous angel._

Aro stood for a moment, lost in thought, which made him seem somewhat uncomfortable.

"Well then, let us continue." Aro said with a smile as his eyes bore into Bella's, realizing that something had just happened, but he couldn't rationally explain his momentary confusion. He gave her three seconds to react. "Jane dear, give her a reason."

Then it hit me, my body went up in flames as it hit the stone floor.

_Oh God! Not again! Oh Bella, help me!_

I was writhing on the floor at Bella's feet, unable to control the enormous pain that shot through every nerve in my body. I was on fire, burning from the inside out. The flames incinerating my useless internal organs, my dead heart, my lungs, burning through my veins, boiling my venom.

_Make it stop! Bella please, make it stop!_

I wanted so badly to scream but my teeth were fused together, my lips felt as if they were melting along with the rest of my face.

Then it was gone.

As if it had never been.

I had only the perfect memory of it. Pain so intense, I didn't even hear Bella speak, but I knew she had. Bella had stopped the pain, stopped Jane's ability to torture another being.

I sprang to my feet, wrapping my arm around Bella's waist as I watched Jane's display of total and complete fury. The exact picture from Alice's vision.

Jane stood looking up into Bella's golden eyes, blinding rage so concentrated, so deep she was unable to form a single fluid thought. Aro bent over taking Jane's tiny face in his hand and forcing her to shift her furious glare to him.

Aro placed a small kiss on her lips, "Jane, don't be angry, it's all in fun." They both turned and Aro moved back to take his seat. Jane was extremely careful to keep her thoughts from spiraling out of control again. Using her mind the way she did, she had learned an immense amount of self-discipline.

_Edward, I am very surprised. Also very pleased._ Aro turned and sat down, his robes flowing out around him, his eyes focused on Carlisle.

"Carlisle, you were wondering why she completed the change in such a short time. Having had multiple bites seems to have prepared her body to accept the change. We've seen it before, but not often." _Edward, do you believe you can control her? Her power will grow. She will be a danger to you and your coven. Are you willing to take this risk? I will offer you and Bella a place with us one last time, will you join us?_

All eyes were on Aro as I shook my head 'no'.

_Then it is final._ Aro paused, looked at each member of my family before settling his strange milky eyes on Carlisle.

"The love which each of you holds for the others has made your coven very strong indeed. With Bella at Edward's side, your coven is complete. I am forced to tell now that you must refrain from adding to your family by either creating them or recruiting them."

"We understand Aro." Carlisle replied. He had some idea of what had been taking place between Aro and I. He knew just by my silence and Aro's long pauses that he was giving me either an offer or an ultimatum.

"Go in peace my friends." Aro had spoken, the meeting was over. All the guard settled back into a relaxed posture and just as quickly, we were dismissed.

I pulled Bella close, she revealed her relief at being able to leave. Her love washed over me, filled me up, caressed me as I turned her, almost dragging her the first few steps across the chamber. Our family formed a protective line behind us as we began to move.

Suddenly Aro's voice held us in place. "Sometimes we must do what is best to protect the ones we love from ourselves. Don't you agree, Bella?" Bella did not react, made no attempt to reply. _She will become more powerful than you can conceive, Edward. Be very cautious with her or this may not be the last time we speak._

I glanced back over my shoulder and gave Aro a slight nod, then once again moved forward out of the huge circular stone chamber into the antechamber and out to the lobby.

The sun had set behind the Tuscan hills. Only faint traces of orange were left barely lighting the acres and acres of vineyards with its rapidly fading glow.

We sped down the winding road, traveling as fast as the rental car would allow, Bella laughed as I held her safe in my arms.

Her laughter played like a sweet melody soaking down to my very soul. Holding her, touching her satiny smooth skin, hearing her voice gave me a rush of feeling I had not felt in so long, since the day I saved her.

As Alice and Jasper joined in her laughter, all I wanted was to cry. I hadn't realized how much I had feared for her or feared for my family until Bella's joyous laughter peeled back the barrier I had erected. I had buried my own turbulent emotions so deep as to appear completely confident to Bella, not allowing her to feel the sheer unadulterated terror I was holding inside.

Now, all my fear was washing away with her delicious laughter.

The pride and admiration I felt toward her was overwhelming. Once again, I found myself astonished by her, astonished by her courageousness before the Volturi. She swallowed her fear and stood tall against the most dreaded of vampires, the elite guard, vampire royalty.

By taking her as I had, bringing her into my world, I had placed her in the most deadly situations and she had always fought back, displaying a depth of character that continually amazed me. Her love, kindness, compassion and strength were a testament to everything I saw in her that was good and pure and innocent. With the passing of each day, when I foolishly thought I could not love her more, she would say or do something that would expand the limits of my love to even greater depths.

Turning Bella to face me, I pulled her against me, taking her mouth with mine, tasting her, drinking her in. My hands roamed freely over her back and waist, her round bottom and down her slim thighs, feeling her love and desire pour over me. All my senses were alive with the taste, smell and feel of her wrapped possessively in my arms and pressed against my chest. Bella purred deliciously into my mouth as I hummed my pleasure into hers.

_Damn, Edward! I don't know how much more of this I can take before I have to cool you two off. I'm not feeling it from Bella but it doesn't really matter, your raging emotions are enough to fill an auditorium much less this little car._

I smiled against Bella's soft moist lips. _Sorry Jasper, but I'm not letting her go until I absolutely have to._

_Edward, enjoy her while you can. If all goes as I expect, you and Bella will be getting married tomorrow evening. And, if you don't mind, I would like some of it to be a surprise to you as well. So, concentrate on pleasing that wonderful girl in your arms and stay out of my head. Mi capisco?_

_Dear, dear Alice, I understand perfectly. _


	22. Chapter 22 Passage of Time

_Turning Bella to face me, I pulled her against me, taking her mouth with mine, tasting her, drinking her in. My hands roamed freely over her back and waist, her round bottom and down her slim thighs, feeling her love and desire pour over me. All my senses were alive with the taste, smell and feel of her wrapped possessively in my arms and pressed against my chest. Bella purred deliciously into my mouth as I hummed my pleasure into hers._

_Damn, Edward! I don't know how much more of this I can take before I have to cool you two off. I'm not feeling it from Bella but it doesn't really matter, your raging emotions are enough to fill an auditorium much less this little car._

_I smiled against Bella's soft moist lips. Sorry Jasper, but I'm not letting her go until I absolutely have to._

_Edward, enjoy her while you can. If all goes as I expect, you and Bella will be getting married tomorrow evening. And, if you don't mind, I would like some of it to be a surprise to you as well. So, concentrate on pleasing that wonderful girl in your arms and stay out of my head. Ti capisco?_

_Dear, dear Alice, I understand perfectly._

Chapter Twenty-Two

The Passage of Time

After arriving at the hotel in Fucecchio, Carlisle and Esme secured our suites for seven nights. The amount of time we would have to enjoy a short honeymoon was determined by Carlisle's need to return to the hospital in Fairbanks. Esme would go with him, however the rest of the family was free to stay as long as we liked though none of us were sure how long we wished to stay in Italy or at the very least, this close to Volterra.

While the arrangements were being settled, I led Bella out to a courtyard located to the left of the entrance. It was beautiful and peaceful, filled with lush green jasmine vines trailing up the stone walls that enclosed it from the busy street. Dark green shrubs were pruned into symmetrical shapes of differing heights and widths. Roses and gardenias bloomed everywhere mingling their fragrance with the jasmine.

The patio was covered with terracotta tiles of various shades ranging from brown to tan to rusty orange. In the center of the courtyard stood a huge four-tiered fountain, the bottom tier at ground level the size of a small swimming pool with the next three tiers rising out of the center to a height of over fourteen feet. Each tier ornately designed in the Etruscans style.

Rising out of the pool were four leokampoi, winged lions with the tail of a fish curled up in the back, each shooting water from its mouth. On the next tier were four hippocamps, wild horses also with fish tails leaping forth over the backs of mermen each one also spraying a stream of water from its mouth. The third tier held three large koi fish with their heads on the base of the bowl and their tails curving up in an 'S' shape to hold the top most bowl on their tailfins. In the top tier stood the ancient water god, Neptune, or this being Etruscans, Nethuns, surrounded by two dolphins, the tip of his bronze trident the tallest point. Water flowed freely over the rim of the bowl to collect in the lower bowls. The entire fountain was lit from all angles. The spraying water sparkled like diamonds as it splashed out into the night air.

Myths and legends. Everything the fountain depicted was born from the belief in a higher power. Someone or something that at one time in the past humans had believed controlled the world around them, the weather, the oceans, the cycles of the sun and moon, even love. Were they really nothing more than fantasy? Or were they based on reality?

From all my years of education, I knew for a fact that almost everything in this world could be explained scientifically. I had witnessed with my own eyes the leaps and bounds the human race had made in the years I have existed and the advances Carlisle had seen were staggering.

He had lived through war, famine, the rise and fall of empires, disease and plagues that wiped out entire populations. It was no wonder Carlisle had longed for a companion when everyone he had ever known passed on to a place he may never go. With the exception of his friendship with Aro, Carlisle had suffered an extremely lonely existence. Only his unwavering capacity for good, his compassionate nature, his firm belief that there is a higher power watching over us kept him grounded, protected his humanity, saved his soul.

What he had endured all those lonely years was the reason behind why he had made Bella the promise to turn her knowing, at the time, I did not approve. He could not sit idly by and watch me sink into that dark solitary abyss he had dragged himself out of so many, many years ago. Carlisle knew the darkness I would fall into would be deeper than he could ever imagine for I was already irreversibly bound to Bella by love. He would risk her soul on his beliefs and in the end he knew I would love her all the more.

I stood silently admiring the fountain, contemplating Carlisle's decisions and the fact that our existence was just as much myth and legend as the ancient Roman Gods. If we were real, along with other so-called mythical beings, how could I doubt the existence of God?

Before I met Bella, God and time held little significance for me. I staunchly argued my facts with Carlisle's beliefs, not wanting to believe there was a possibility that I could still retain any part of my tainted soul. With the atrocious sins I had committed, the only judgment waiting for me was to exist for eternity with the horrendous shame and guilt coupled with the perfect memory of each heinous act.

But for all that I had done in the past I was given a reprieve. A precious gift. The angel standing beside me was nothing short of a miracle. Moving behind her, slipping my arms around her small waist, I needed to touch her, feel the _reality_ of her, hold onto her until the very last second before we would part for the evening and not reunite until after dusk tomorrow. The next several hours were certain to be nothing less than hellish, a torture that would end only when Bella was back in my arms, her body tangled with mine.

Leaning over, I breathed in her perfume that overpowered every other fragrance in the garden, tasting it on the tip of my tongue and all the way down the back of my throat. Feeling it run through me, flowing in my veins, setting off little streaks of lightening. I wanted her, needed her and the desire to share my love with her would grow beyond imagining the longer we were separated from one another. The anticipation alone was sure to be my undoing.

I had no reason to practice the enormous amount of self-control I had resigned myself to when Bella was human. Once my venom had turned her, made her unbreakable, a vampire, I was granted the freedom to do and be all she needed. And she needed me as much as I needed her.

Slowly I moved my mouth over the silky skin of her throat as she pressed her soft cheek into mine.

"Bella, Bella…" I whispered her name repeatedly between each small kiss. Her body melted into mine as her wonderful floral scent intensified with each brush of my lips.

Turning to face me, her arms encircled my waist, her hands moving sensuously up my back as she pressed her every curve into me, her breasts crushed into my chest, her hips meeting just below mine. When she spoke, her words were deep and lusty and oh so seductive.

"Will we have our own room tonight?" Her sweet breath filled with a hunger that could not be quenched with blood.

_Oh God, Bella! How am I going to survive the coming hours without you?_

I had to fight the wild urge to sweep her into my arms and run. Postpone or even call off the wedding just to keep her to myself. However, if I dared to be so selfish just to satisfy my desire for her, my _need_ for her, I would never be able to look my family in the eye again. Furthermore, this was my chance, what I had bargained for to make her immortal, to be with her forever and… she was willing.

Not wanting to say the words at all, I only whispered them into her dark silky hair, "Not tonight."

Within seconds, Bella's body stiffened, her muscles tightened, became ridged, her fingers digging mercilessly into my back as her head arched back, halting her breath. Her dark wide topaz eyes blank as she sank into another memory from her past. All I could do was to hold on to her as a terrible sadness washed over me. A crushing sorrow that pushed the air from my lungs with its weight.

_Oh Bella, my love, what is it?_

I knew the second the memory began to fade, the second she processed it. She relaxed into me, still holding me as close as she could, her beautiful eyes coming back into focus on my face. She breathed in deep cleansing breaths, letting each one out with a heavy sigh directly into my nose, my mouth, momentarily dazzling me and once again igniting the flames of desire that traveled through me, dissolving the unexpected gloom that had invaded my cold heart. But still, I could feel her distress, her confusion at what she was unable to identify.

"What did you remember?" My need to know each small detail was almost as great as hers. I wanted so badly to help her to understand her past, to help her to become whole again.

She laid her cheek against my chest, adjusting her arms to hold me even closer, her palms flat across my back.

"I asked you to stay with me and you said 'not tonight'. That's all it was." Aggravation was very apparent in her voice even though she regained her control and was concealing the emotion from me. "It's so damn frustrating! It doesn't make any sense! I know it has something to do with why this emptiness exists inside me but it wasn't like I was frightened… it was like I had been…" She trailed off trying to find the right word.

"Crushed." I held her to me as my own memory of that night replayed perfectly in my mind…

_Bella had come home from working at Newton Outfitters. I had been waiting for her, sitting in the living room with Charlie as he watched ESPN, mulling over every single well-planned word I had rehearsed. I had every intention to tell her that night, tell her that my family and I were leaving Forks forever, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Painful knots twisted my insides, my throat was constricted, my mouth arid as a desert, not from thirst, but from the sheer agony of my breaking heart._

_Even though her unmistakable fragrance had soaked into the very wood, plaster and stucco of that little two-story house, her physical presence brought it slamming into me the second she walked through the front door causing the knots inside my body to coil excruciatingly tighter and tighter._

_Sitting in the armchair, I avoided looking into her angelic face, focused my eyes in the general direction of the TV not wanting to meet her gaze, positive she would know. Certain she would read the words that now lay dead on the tip of my tongue as if they were written in the blackest ink across my white stone face. _

_She knew something was wrong, I heard it in her voice, in the one syllable greeting that floated from her mouth as she stood in the doorway. I should have followed her when she walked past heading into the kitchen in search of the cold pizza Charlie had left out for her. It would have been the perfect excuse to speak to her alone. I heard every small move she made, every little sigh that passed her perfect lips. _

_Overwhelming sorrow consumed me, locking my muscles in place. I didn't want to leave her! I loved her more than anyone could possibly imagine, more than I could have ever dreamed if I were still able to do so. I was going to walk into that little kitchen and shatter her heart… for the noblest reasons…she deserved better than what little I had to offer her and… I had believed it was the only way to save her precious soul. _

_Nevertheless, my body refused to move from the armchair. _

_Looking back at it … for being immortal, up until Bella had shined her light into the dark hole of my dreary existence, I had learned so very little about love. How was I to know that once it touched you, its force changed you… for all time. For all eternity. Forever. _

_Permanently. _

_I was pathetic. Absolutely pathetic._

_In my all encompassing love for her, I was blinded to any other option. So utterly convinced that it was the only way, I refused to listen to Carlisle or Alice or any other member of my family. Little did I know at the time that there would be no getting around the inevitable, I would bite her, she would become one of our kind, just as Alice always knew she would. _

_It was Bella's fate. Her… destiny._

_I remembered wanting to run from the living room, scoop her up and disappear out the back door into the night. And she would have come willingly… because she loved me. Oh God… I had been so foolish… and weak… and angry. Never angry with Bella, only with myself. Angry for procrastinating. Angry for delaying what I should have done the very night Jasper tried to bite her… but… it was her birthday. I couldn't leave her with that memory. _

_A day she would never have the slightest chance to forget, a day she had never wanted to celebrate in the first place. The day of her birth, would become a horrible reminder of the tragic moment in which she had nearly lost her life for a second time in only months. Not only would that day be marked by Jasper's attack, but also by the heartbreak I would cause in leaving. I just couldn't. _

_It was utterly selfish and cruel to lead her on, to let her believe we had a chance for happiness, which was exactly what I was doing by prolonging my time with her, but… more than that, my love for her put her life in danger every second. The blame rested totally on my shoulders._

_In addition to all of that… I wasn't ready to let her go._

_She would stay forever perfect in my memory. I would always love her and no other. However, it was my hope that she would forget me, go on and live a natural human life. That was the point of my absence, the absence of my family. _

_In leaving, I would need to take all real evidence of my existence from her. Anything and everything I had ever given her, which was very little due to Bella's unenthusiastic attitude toward any gift I felt compelled to bestow upon her. That left only the birthday gifts she had received from my family._

_Carlisle had agreed that the new CD player could stay in her truck. It was something that could be picked up at many different stores and Emmett had insisted that it would do no harm for her to keep it. It wasn't the same as a photograph of a vampire who would never age. However, my image on the exposed film in her new camera, the plane tickets and anything else I had given her would need to be removed from her possession. And oh, how I had wished that I had given her the CD player instead of just a CD. It tore at me to know I could leave nothing tangible of myself with her… however, that was the point. She was supposed to forget me._

_The night had ended with her walking me out to my car, the rain sprinkling on us as we stepped from the porch and walked over the brick driveway to the edge of the road where I had parked my Volvo. In my anguish over what I knew had to be done, I couldn't speak the words I needed so desperately to say to her. I just stood there, fully aware that I would soon shatter her world and hoped she would be able to overcome all the pain I had caused her and go on with her life._

"_Will you stay?" She had asked without an ounce of hope in her small voice. And with those three words, I had a fleeting thought that I could take her away. Right then. I could have opened the passenger door and she would have disappeared into the night with me forever._

_But…_

"_Not tonight."_

_She said nothing else, that is, no actual words, however her body spoke volumes. She just stood there, crushed by the weight of the emptiness I left behind. Even then I should have seen the tell-tale signs of her gifts. _

_I wanted so badly to kiss her one last time. To hold her, to tell her how deeply I loved her, how I would always love her, to explain to her that I did not fight my own deadly urges for her sweet blood every second of every day just to lose her to another vampire, to see her lie motionless, cold, drained. Dead._

_In spite of my desperate wish for her understanding, for her forgiveness, I said nothing. _

_God, I was such a fool. _

_I drove away. Left her standing in the rain without offering one word of comfort._

Bella's body pressed into mine in all the right places, her face pressed into my chest. "Edward, I don't want to live in the past." Her usually sweet melodic voice strained. "I hate how it just creeps up on me and hits me from behind. I'm so tired of feeling out of control! I want to live now! It's as if I'm being haunted by my own memories." Her hand came up and drifted behind my neck, tangling in my hair, pulling me down to her upturned mouth, her lips brushing so softly, teasingly against mine, sending waves of electricity surging through me as she whispered. "I just want to go to our room and have you all to myself for hours!"

"Bella," I couldn't help but chuckle. I wanted nothing more than to spend hours alone with her also, but that would put a serious cramp in the many, many plans Alice, Esme and Rosalie were hatching right at that moment, "We're getting married tomorrow and I think we can abstain for just a few more hours! Besides, you are going to be very busy this evening, as long as Alice has her way." I traced her deceptively delicate looking face with my finger tip, "and you know how our family is – they love celebrations like this and you did agree… wedding dress and all the trimmings." I smiled knowing that she had no idea how much I wanted this wedding also.

The realization of what the evening was to bring dawned in her beautiful eyes.

"You mean they're going to keep us apart?" The undeniable shock in her voice was almost comical. I would have laughed just to ease my own nervousness, but was afraid that what was trying to bubble up out of me may have sounded completely inappropriate. Not to mention the fact that my own anxiety would be utterly exposed.

_Why bother trying to hide my feelings? What is this with me and my foolish pride? She knows exactly what I'm feeling already._

Just then, Esme's thoughts floated softly to me.

_Edward, we've made all the arrangements. You'll need to go with Carlisle. Please don't prolong this, just go, sweetheart. You will see your beloved Bella again very soon. And I promise, it will all be worth the wait._ "Everything is ready." She came out into the courtyard followed by the rest of our family.

Surrounding Bella's angelic face with my hands, locking her in my loving gaze, I whispered softly making it a promise, "I will miss you every second we're apart." I pressed my lips against hers once more, then turned and walked away with my father and brothers.

The next time I would see her, she would be saying 'I do' and that in itself would be well worth suffering the brief separation.

Carlisle and Jasper had left to take Bella out hunting. She still needed to feed more often than the rest of the family, especially when we would anticipate the necessity of her coming in close contact with humans. I found it extremely difficult to conceal my apprehension each time we exposed her to the unsuspecting populace. Esme, Alice and Rosalie would keep a close watch on her during the next day. With all the wedding plans and arrangements, it fell on Carlisle and Jasper to take Bella out to the nearby Casentino National Park where she would be in their keeping during the hunt. It would be her first hunt without me by her side and that alone made me somewhat anxious.

Rosalie had come down from the penthouse on the pretense that she and Emmett would go out to hunt as well. However, from the second she walked through the door, she and Emmett were tangled in each other's arms, kissing and touching and holding and stroking each other until I insisted they pick a bedroom and make use of it.

The separation was difficult enough without being subjected to Emmett and Rosalie's erotic thoughts or watch them engage in an activity that was best done behind bedroom doors or at the very least in private away from the open view of others. An activity I would be completely immersed in and thoroughly enjoying tomorrow night and every night thereafter.

I tried desperately to block them out and even though their thoughts were no longer in my head, my ears could not bar the undeniable sounds of their lovemaking as it floated out into the living area of the immense hotel suite. The rustling of clothing hurriedly removed, their whispered endearments, the sound of the bedspread as it was roughly pushed to the floor in a heap, the silky waves of sheets as they were pulled back and then again brought forward to settle gently over their entwined bodies.

Soon the rhythmic movement of the bed pounded like a heavy heartbeat in my head, the avid sighing, Rosalie's passionate moaning and Emmett's deep growling had my mind drifting to all the wonderful ways I wanted to share my love with Bella. All the wondrous places I wanted to touch her, all the exquisitely soft regions of her body I wanted to kiss, all the delicious ways I wanted to please her and enjoy her.

_Damn. I really cannot be here._

Silently, I rose from the couch, leaving the room and for only a fleeting second wondered if I should hunt. But just as the thought crossed my mind, my stomach clenched in the most uncomfortable way.

_Bella is already mine and there is absolutely no reason to be this nervous. _

I closed the door behind me just as my cell phone vibrated in my pocket. Flipping it open, I was hoping to hear from Carlisle and only slightly disappointed to see the name that flashed on the small screen, _Alice_.

"Yes." I searched the hotel with my mind easily finding her thoughts.

"Edward." Her voice was playful.

"Alice." I smiled… _what are you up to?_

"What are you doing right now?" She asked mischievously.

"I was just leaving the room. Emmett and Rosalie have changed their minds about hunting and are currently taking full advantage of one of the bedrooms."

"Why am I not surprised?" She laughed, a sure sign she had seen that coming. "Well then, would you like to check out the Grand Ballroom?"

"Why would I want to do that?" I asked as I moved down the hall to the elevator and pressed the 'down' button. She was still up in her room waiting for the dressmaker to arrive, and focusing on keeping me from overhearing thoughts that may pertain to any wedding plans that had been put in place so far.

"Just something to do. You and your new wife will be dancing there tomorrow night and I thought you might be interested, they have a 1920 Bosendorfer." She paused, "and I thought to ease the temptation of wanting to play it on your wedding night and well, I don't see you letting Bella out of your arms for a second, you may like to play it tonight?"

A Bosendorfer. An instrument considered one of the premier concert pianos in the world and worth more than some nice suburban homes. "There are only a few things I would rather be doing," _Like taking Bella to bed,_ "but since I can't, I will gladly accompany you to the Grand Ballroom. But, of course… you already knew that, didn't you?"

I could hear her laughter as she closed her phone.

It was an absolute work of art. Handcrafted from the blackest ebony, and so very well taken care of, hardly a scratch on it. The tone and pitch were nearly perfect. The sound was so clear resonating throughout the ballroom. The highs were bright without sounding tinny, the base notes dark, warm and rich. The action felt superb beneath my fingertips as I pressed each perfectly weighted key. The pins and dampers were in excellent condition, and the strings looked relatively new. It must have been tuned very recently for the pitch was as perfect as it could possibly be when done by human hands. Without a tuning key, I reached in and gently made the minute adjustments myself. This was exactly what I wanted and wondered how soon I could have one or maybe two custom built.

"You know I brought several of your CD's along but they do have everything you need to record another if you would like." Alice was almost dancing with excitement and as thrilled about my playing this piano as I was.

I smiled hoping it didn't betray my excitement in the prospect of playing the wonderful instrument and recording music that was inspired by my love for someone who deserved so much more than I could ever hope to give her.

I followed Alice as she disappeared behind a partition that concealed the entrance to a control room filled with the latest technology – enough to fill the next few dark empty hours. As Alice booted up the computers, I took three mic-stands and microphones out to the piano. Then Alice and I proceeded to plug everything in to the mixing board. While she became acquainted with the recording program, I played test patterns, adjusted the mics and then we were ready to begin.

I started with something soothing, a pretty melody, a slow passionate loving tribute to Bella. The piano responded beautifully sending it's perfect notes out into the ballroom. Alice played it back through the speaker system – coming from behind the partition to listen. Neither of us spoke until after the last note faded.

"Are you happy with that or would you like to play it again?"

"Why? Is there something wrong with it?" It sounded perfect to me.

"Not at all! It was amazing!" _I just know how you are_. She smiled, teasing me. She turned to race back into the sound booth, when all of a sudden I noticed her body sway as if she were walking on the deck of a ship rolling in high seas. Thoughts that had been focused solely on my playing suddenly shifted and a disturbing picture came into my head as she grabbed onto the partition to keep from falling.

The vision was a set of still photographs… I saw the scene just as she did – from the ground as if I were lying on my chest with my face in the dirt, pine needles and decaying leaves, looking up and to the side. The brown trunks of huge pine trees were very close by. From the corner of my eye Bella's face came into view, flashing hard and feral, her eyes solid black obsidian crystals, deep dark and glittering with a look I had never seen on her face before… pure bloodlust.

I rocketed up from the bench, knocking it over backward. A horrendous pain blooming in my chest.

_Oh please… no._

Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong.

I was frozen in place knowing that I needed to move, needed to do to something to get to Bella. And fast. As each new vision passed though Alice's mind, I could clearly see what was happening. Bella was on Jasper's back and for some unfathomable reason he was unable to turn or throw her off… _she has him pinned! I taught her that!_

_Oh God! I should never have allowed them to take her hunting!_

The next vision was Bella running away, Carlisle closing in on her from behind. Then the visions began flashing rapidly in succession and the more I saw, the more terrifying it became. I turned and sprinted across the large dance floor heading for the door with Alice at my heels.

"No Edward! Wait!" Alice caught my arm at as I threw opened one of the large doors, startling an elderly couple walking by in the lobby with our sudden appearance. "Edward stop!" Alice hissed as she tried to pull me back into the ballroom. "Wait please! She's fine. Carlisle took care of the situation."

I jerked my arm from her tiny hand and snarled in her face. "I should have been there… I should be there now."

"Edward…" She pleaded.

"Don't, Alice. Just…don't." I snarled again, "I'll run the whole way if I have to." I turned to head back out the door when Alice laid her hand on my arm, not taking hold of it, just touching me.

"Edward," Her voice was calm, full of reason, "Do not do this." _She doesn't need you this way. _"You may feel the need to be there but you will only embarrass her. She is doing the best she can and needs your understanding… and your love." _Not this._ "Please Edward. Carlisle is the best to handle this. Better her father than…"

"I am her husband!" I hissed. I wanted to rage, to throw things, to yell to the Heavens. Instead, I clenched my teeth. "This would never have happened if I were with her!" I growled.

"What?" It only made me more furious to see how much Alice was fighting the urge to laugh out loud at my behavior. "Do you hear what you're saying?"

I dragged in a breath trying to calm down but found it was no use. The pain in my chest tightened as my concern for Bella rose.

"This has nothing to do with whether you are with her or not. You know there is no way to avoid bloodlust unless you've been through it before. I'm sure she had no idea what was happening to her when it hit. We all go through it, Edward. It's absurd to think that you could have prevented this, or even to think that you must keep her from harm every second of everyday! That you alone are the only one who is capable of keeping her safe."

She never took her sparkling golden eyes from me as she spoke. "What would have become of you if Carlisle had forced that kind of control over of you? You would have been a prisoner, Edward. You would be a wild, uncivilized monster… even more out of control and bloodthirsty than any newborn."

"Alice… you don't understand…"

"I do, Edward. If you could, you would lock her up to keep her with you every minute just as she was during her first year. And even though it wasn't that horrible for her, I mean… she had you and us, it was still very hard on her. She accepted it because she knew that the first year was critical. She never wanted to disappoint you. After only three years she has so much more control than any of us ever had. You know that. She needs to know you have confidence in her. She has worked much too hard for you to decide she's not trustworthy."

"This has nothing to do with trust! _Trust_ is not the issue at all. It has to do with natural instinct." I growled, "I will not stand by and take the chance that she might kill a human. You know the guilt just as I do and I will do whatever it takes to keep her from ever having to carry that shame. She is my responsibility. I have to keep her safe."

Alice looked down. Not even realizing it, I had reached out and grabbed Alice's small arm in my hand, my long fingers wrapped around her small bicep. Her eyes shifted up under her long black lashes to lock onto mine.

"So, here we are again, Edward." Her sweet voice betraying the hurt I inflicted on her. Not physically, but emotionally. Her head cocked toward her arm, I loosened my grip and dropped it immediately, ashamed that I had once again put my hand on her out of frustration. The last time I had done that was when I had forced my family to leave Forks, leaving Bella behind…and I did it for the same damned reason… to keep her safe.

_God, what is the matter with me?_

"Alice, I…"

"Edward, Bella is not some fragile human any longer. She is not flesh and blood. She no longer bleeds." Her beautiful golden eyes were rapidly darkening to a dark smoky topaz, shimmering with irritation. It was extremely rare to witness Alice lose her temper but she was very close and it seemed I was the only one who could provoke her to this stage. "You're still trying to protect her like the human girl she used to be." _Damn it, Edward! Is this some guilt trip you have about turning her? Because, if it is, you need to get over it already._

She sighed. Her anger seeped away as quickly as it came, her dark eyes paled to gold. She took my hands in hers, looking up at me, years of understanding on her precious face. "Bella has no regrets and neither should you. Bloodlust has happened to all of us, a few of us more often than others, but we got through it. We learned from it. Let Bella do this on her own. You have asked her to be your wife, your partner. You have made her your equal. She doesn't want to be kept up on a shelf in a glass box like a fine porcelain doll."

Looking up over her head and closing my eyes, I breathed in deep then, exhaled one long breath, trying to wash away the tension in my body, ease the uncomfortable ache in my chest. Of course, Alice was correct on all counts. In so many ways I was treating Bella as if she were still the frail human girl I fell so deeply in love with. My love for her in her human state had made an interminable change within me and in moments of stress, my mind reverted back to that time when she was fragile and so very breakable.

"_The greatest proof of love is trust." Bella, my sweet Bella._

How much had changed in the three years since Bella had spoken that phrase? It was no doubt something she truly believed and the force of that belief kept her from seeing me as a monster, as the freak of nature I had thought myself to be. She had always trusted me, trusted me implicitly. Put all her faith in me. Did I really have so little faith in her as well? So little faith in my family?

I lowered my head and locked my eyes on Alice's sweet perceptive face.

"Alice, please forgive me." She wrapped her arms around my waist and held me tight as I laid my cheek against her fine black hair.

"Always." Releasing me, she took my hand and we walked back to the piano. "So, since I am waiting for the dressmaker, do you have any special requests for Bella's wedding dress? You know, a certain style, high collar, low collar, strapless, hmmm?" Her glittering eyes already looking to the future knowing that I would not leave this room to run to Bella's side.

"Whatever makes her the most comfortable, I will love her no matter what she wears, even if it's just a tank top and sweats." I flashed her a playful grin.

"Absolutely not!"

"Well then, strapless would be nice… and no zipper. Buttons. Lots of little buttons down the back."I leaned over and righted the piano bench. "Is that acceptable?"

"I'm quite sure I can arrange that and… maybe a few little surprises as well." _And no! I'm not telling so get out of my head!_

Alice had returned to the control booth to finish recording when a bellboy passed quickly by the double doors and then ran down the hall. Through the soft sensuous melody my fingers wove, I heard a door open and the quiet voice of a woman speaking in Italian informing the young man that she had been called to one of the penthouse suites for a wedding gown fitting. The woman's voice was elegant and matched her elegant thoughts.

Alice came from the control booth, "I need to run so you're on your own." She leaned down and kissed my cheek, then rested her forehead in my hair. _Oh Edward_. She sighed. "See you tomorrow evening." Then quickly ran from the ballroom and greeted an attractive dark haired woman as she passed by the door. As soon as Alice came into view, the woman knew without a doubt what she was.

_Ah, yes. Vampire. Another who does not prey on humans._

Alice sensed it also and looked back at me to confirm her thoughts. _She knows?_

I nodded my head and watched as the woman reached out her hand to Alice in greeting. She held no fear in her mind as Alice took her hand and her thoughts proved that even though she was well aware of vampires, she was no threat to us. They disappeared from the doorway and I listened as they made their way to the elevator. Alice thanked her for coming out so late and was grateful she understood the urgency. The woman explained she was happy to do so, however, in her thoughts I could hear how she was used to the eccentricities of such wealthy clients. She also assured Alice that she employed people who were trustworthy and available on a moments notice.

I watched as four women followed, each one pushing a heavily laden clothing rack, one rack lined with white wedding gowns, two lined with pale blue dresses, one of veils and one rack with three tiers covered in undergarments of lace and silk, the sight of which brought a sinful smile to my face. I knew then it would take all my control not to literally rip Bella's wedding dress off just to get to what was hidden beneath.

Stepping into the control booth, I set the computer to record and swiftly took my seat in front of the piano once again. I let my mind wander as I played the first sweet notes. Picturing Bella in her wedding gown, an angel in white. The pure shining light that brightened the darkest corners of me, made me believe I am more than a monster, I am worthy of her love.

I brought forth the memory of the first time she had given her willing consent to marry me, as she lay unable to speak from the injuries Victoria had inflicted on her. She had given me her vow then and I had repeated them to her the moment she had become aware as a vampire. Each note I played corresponded to each word in each line of our vows. An unending promise of love.

Then the melody moved sweetly into that first intimate kiss, that first sharing, that first binding of our hearts, minds and bodies. We had kissed, as we had never dared kiss before, tasting and teasing and drinking each other with an intimacy we had never shared until that moment when the energy within us burst forth and consumed us both.

The melody built slowly and sensuously as I recalled the first time we made love. How her body reacted to my every gentle touch, the stroke of my tongue on her velvety skin, how her body shivered as I licked, kissed and grazed my teeth over her sweet flesh while I waited for her hunger to show.

Only it never did. Not for three days.

For those three days we had made love and shared ourselves over and over, never wanting to stop. I could not resist the intensity of her desire, her luscious scent, the taste of her in my mouth, the feel of her body surrounding me, holding me as we became one.

The music rose passionately as lightning streaked in crazy waves throughout my body as my perfect remembrance of those first three days with Bella played out to the end. The echo of each sharing, each climax pulsed through me, twisting me so tight with anticipation I was barely breathing.

Then the mood was broken by the first of so many memories that crashed into her head…Jacob Black.

I chose to shut that memory out immediately, not wanting it to spoil one note of the precious love song I had recorded for my wife to be.

Once I played the last note, I realized how my body had responded to the erotic nature of my memories with an incredible aching need. Willing my body to calm down, I sat waiting, concentrating on translating our vows into every language I knew until finally, I was able to rise from the bench and move to the control booth to end the recording. I saved my songs and burned them to a CD then, played it back to make sure it had burned properly before deleting all traces of them from the computer.

Suddenly the memory I had pushed aside earlier came back to the forefront of my mind. No matter how much I loved Bella and she loved me, she would always have a place inside I could never fill. I would forever share her with Jacob Black. Though my jealousy still stung, it was the least I could do after all he had done to save her. An extremely small price to pay considering Bella chose to stay by my side through the passage of all time to come.

Just then, Carlisle's thoughts trickled into my brain. They were close, within a few miles. I ejected the CD and headed to the elevator but then thought I had better alert Emmett of Carlisle and Jasper's return. I flipped open my phone and speed dialed his number.

"Yeah, bro."

"I'm coming up and Carlisle and Jasper are almost here."

"No problem, Rosalie's already gone back to her room… hey Edward…"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

I smiled, "You're welcome."


	23. Chapter 23 Dark Dance

Chapter Twenty-Three

Dark Dance

The incessant buzzing of human thoughts had lessened as guests left the hotel to enjoy the day outside. Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper had finished dressing and sat waiting for me, watching TV to pass the last few minutes before we would need to leave for the park.

I stood motionless while staring at my reflection in the huge mirror, studying my bright topaz eyes, the hard lines of my face, the profile of my body, the form of my hands, the taper of my long strong fingers and, the most human feature I retained through my change… my bronze-colored hair.

As I stood there, my eyes taking in every small detail, a wonderfully perfect memory crept forward, bringing with it a smile that softened my eyes, my mouth, my entire being.

I recalled the first night I was alone with Bella, in my car driving back from Port Angeles. She was so beautiful, so defenseless sitting next to me explaining a theory she wasn't completely sure about and having no idea how correct she was in her assumptions. She had figured me out with help from the Internet and Jacob Black. Though she basically tricked him into telling her, he unknowingly broke the rules by disclosing information he had believed to be nothing more than tribal legend. She brought up questions she was sure would only make her look foolish for asking and I answered as honestly as I could without elaborating.

I was also breaking the rules. I didn't wish to hide from her any longer. I wanted her to know me. Part of me wanting her to be so frightened she would never chance to even steal a glance in my direction and the other part, so desperate for her to accept me as the freak I had considered myself to be.

She tried to hide it, nevertheless, I could hear the racing of her heart, her rapid breathing and knew she was shocked to discover she had stumbled onto the truth…

"_I'm right?"_

"_Does it matter?"_

"_Not really. But I am curious."_

"_What are you curious about?"_

"How old are you?" 

"_Seventeen."_

"_And how long have you been seventeen?"_

"_A while."_

Though my appearance had not changed since the second I became aware as a vampire, there was something different about the man who looked back at me so intently.

_Yes. A man. No longer a dark terrifying monster. No longer a freak._

Though my outward appearance was that of a seventeen year old boy, what dwelled inside had grown-up, developed a conscience. Matured through love. I had found a purpose, a reason to exist not only from day to day, but … forever. I had made a promise. I was committed to the only love I would ever know, to my family, to my way of life.

I was… domesticated.

_And to think, I fought this change. I refused to believe, as Alice had, that I could ever be this happy. This content. _

The man staring back at me in the mirror wore an enormous, slightly crooked, grin.

Behind me, beyond the hotel suite, the sun was rapidly sinking low in the horizon. Twilight would soon be upon us. At that moment, I was so relieved I had opted to forego a bowtie and chose, instead, a white silk shirt with a high Mandarin collar and black pearl buttons. Something less traditional than I would have normally chosen, but still very stylish. Nonetheless, the way my hands were trembling, it was difficult enough just to button my shirt much less tie a tie.

Alice had made arrangements with a local men's clothier to measure and fit us for tuxedos well before the sun came up on what was sure to be a beautiful cloudless Tuscan summer day. One in which we would be trapped inside for the duration. Within hours, the clothier delivered the suits, altered and pressed, accompanied by the tailor. We tried them on once more to check for any adjustments that might need to be made, only to find they were expertly finished.

Sliding my arms into the suit jacket, I adjusted the lapels and collar. Compared to tuxedos I had worn in the past, this one was my favorite. It was made of fine black wool, a Bissoni single-breasted jacket with one button on the slim lapel. Overall, along with the pleated black pants, it was an extremely handsome suit. Having put it on brought the reality of the day slamming back into perspective.

I was about to marry the most beautifully perfect being on the entire planet.

_Bella. My Bella._

The only human brave enough to look past the monster that had lived inside me. The only human I ever allowed close enough to see who I really am. Bella brought humanity back into my empty existence, opened a world of love I had never thought possible and gave me a most precious gift … she restored my soul.

As long as Bella was with me, Heaven was right here on earth, at my side, each and every day and I was fortunate enough to count each minute with her as a true blessing.

_Son, are you ready?_

Carlisle stood silently in the doorway.

Son. He rarely used the term when addressing me, but it was always there in his mind. His love for me had created a fundamental change in him. Gave him hope when he had believed he would spend eternity alone, unloved and incapable of sharing love with another.

I heard my brothers rise from the furniture in the living room and the room went silent as the TV was switched off. Carlisle smiled as he stepped forward to smooth my lapel.

_It's time._

xx0X0xx

Pure white roses adorned the gazebo where the priest stood in silence, his hands folded around a small worn leather bound bible. A knowing smile kept his mouth turned upward as I paced from side to side. Every once in while, he would catch my eye and nod, he had seen similar behavior on numerous occasions. It was nothing out of the ordinary, perfectly normal wedding day anxiety. As far as he was concerned, I was the embodiment of a nervous groom.

While a ceremony such as this was not the custom, Esme had easily convinced the priest that Bella and I had already been married for the last three years and wished only to renew our vows and have our union blessed. The fact was, what Esme had told him was much closer to the truth than a lie. The marital ties that already bound us together were stronger than any man could create.

Repeatedly I reached for Bella's wedding ring in my pocket. I needed to look at it, stroke it with my finger, experience the reality of it. Though they stood silent at my side, using only their thoughts, Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett each took turns trying to entertain me, keep me distracted. It didn't work in the least. My mind stayed focused on one thing alone, my bride.

Esme, Alice and Rosalie's thoughts drifted into my mind as the sound of a smooth car engine approached the park. I had already turned my head in that direction when Carlisle, and my brothers followed suit. When the car came to a stop, Carlisle placed his hand on my shoulder and smiled before walking down the terracotta-tiled pathway to the car. I held on to the thoughts of those in the limousine, allowing their familiarity to sweep over me.

Esme was as joyful as she could possibly be. Her thoughts filled with love for both Bella and I, so thrilled we were taking this final step to bind ourselves to one another. Rosalie was actually thinking that Bella had never looked more beautiful. Glowing. Radiant with happiness. Alice … Alice was just … giddy. I had no trouble imagining her bouncing with excitement on the soft leather seat.

Carlisle had reached the car as the driver opened the passenger door. Alice exited the limo first, then Rosalie. Carlisle's thoughts described how beautiful they looked before he caught sight of Esme, his beloved wife. His thoughts shifted from fatherly love for his daughters to a passionate burning love for the woman who filled his heart, body, mind and soul. With all that he wanted to share with Esme, his thoughts were not that much different than mine were toward Bella. I should have blocked him, but I couldn't chance missing the moment he would first set eyes on my beloved as he helped her from the car.

_Oh Bella!_ Just the whispering tone of his thought told me everything. If my heart still beat in my chest, it would have soared. _Edward, I have never seen Bella look lovelier._

Alice came from around the corner followed by Rosalie and then Esme, all wearing deep hyacinth blue dresses that set off their pale skin in the moonlight, each one different and perfectly fitting to each woman's personality. In their hands, they carried a small spray of white flowers tied together with a matching blue ribbon. The fragrance of the little bouquets floated to me on the slight breeze … _freesias _… refreshing my memory of the first time I had caught Bella's scent.

Jasper stepped up, extended his arm to Alice, who took it as he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips, then walked her over to stand on my left.

Emmett was next, stepping up to Rosalie, wrapping his arm around her waist, pulling her to him and kissing her gently before moving to stand next to Jasper and Alice.

As Esme moved toward me, her thoughts comforted me, eased my anxiety like no one else could.

_Oh Edward! My dear son. How handsome you look! And, here I am again… this brings back memories. The mother of the groom … and the bride. See Edward? My prayers have been answered. An angel was sent to us. She is that one love, that one missing piece that completes you. Bella. My beautiful daughter. She is everything you have always needed, even though you never thought you did. God, you used to be so arrogant at times. She has mellowed you. But… you have always been loving, not always understanding or patient, but always loving. _

Esme's face was glowing with love as she came to me, touching my face with her hand and kissing my cheek before taking her place next to me.

_I couldn't be happier for you, Edward._

Smiling down at her, I took her hand and kissed it softly. "Thank you."

My eyes drifted back down the aisle. Waiting. Listening to Carlisle's thoughts and words as he brought my beloved closer and closer with each step. Then, suddenly, his thoughts became worried. His words came to me softly from around the corner.

"Bella? Are you all right? Would you rather Jasper walk with you, at least until you reach Edward?"

Then the beautiful tones of Bella's trembling melodic voice drifted to me.

"I'm so sorry Carlisle. I'm just … I'm just so nervous. I haven't felt this way in so long, I'm having a horrible time trying to control it." Her voice lowered to a mere whisper. "Yes, please, if you wouldn't mind, I think I do need Jasper's help."

"Of course I don't mind." _Edward, I have never seen her so anxious. _"Sit here and I'll send Jasper."

I took a hesitant step forward when Jasper's voice caught me from behind.

"Edward?" Concern foremost in his tone. "Perhaps, I should go."

"No."

_Go, Edward._ Alice's hand gripped Jasper's a little tighter. _She needs you. _

Turning, I held Bella's ring out to Jasper. "Please… hold this for me." I smiled, an unspoken promise to return with Bella at my side.

Before I was conscious of my movement, I was down the pathway meeting Carlisle as he turned the corner.

Amused, he smiled, w_edding day jitters, _shrugging his shoulders as he passed me to wait with the rest of our family.

Quickly, I turned the corner to see her sitting on a tiled concrete bench halfway down the vine-covered tunnel. Silently, I moved to within steps of where she sat, her eyes closed, struggling to catch something she really didn't need, her breath. When she looked up, her amber eyes locked onto mine instantly. My breath caught in my lungs as I gazed on her perfection.

A glorious sparkling angel sat before me, luminescent even in the dim light. A slight breeze ruffled the delicate iridescent veil that pinned her dark hair up in a mass of curls, causing small rainbows of light to flash off the tiny crystals hanging delicately from the edges. My eyes traveled down her bare willowy neck to stop at the top of the white silk gown that dipped low enough to reveal the swell of her perfect breasts. Strands of the same pale clear blue crystals decorated the neckline, sparkling and flashing with each small intake of air into her lungs.

Until that precise moment, I had not realized how utterly alone I had been before Bella came into my life. I had my family, whom I loved, but never had I felt the all-consuming love that Bella's mere presence produced within me. Her luscious fragrance drifted my way, along with the scent of her bridal bouquet, freesias, gardenias and jasmine. Bella's wonderfully floral perfume mingled with those of her bouquet, thoroughly overpowering what nature had given them. I breathed her in deeply, tasting her essence on my tongue, down my throat, saturating my lungs. Wanton desire shot through my veins with amazing force.

_Isabella._

Just gazing at her, sitting motionless on the bench, filled me with such longing, such a need to reach out and touch her pale sparkling skin, to confirm that she was not a mirage. I wanted to fall on my knees at her feet and ask her to marry me once more, just to hear her say 'yes', to feel her body answer mine with all the longing and desire she held for me.

In addition to every other need that coursed through my body, I needed to kiss her. Feel her lips, soft as velvet, pressed firmly against mine, her tongue, wet and hungry, dancing in my mouth until we were both breathless and wanting.

_Oh, Bella, how I love you._

The dazzling expression on her angelic face as she looked me over, her eyes taking in my full height from head to toe, was reminiscent of the expression she wore the first time I had taken her to the meadow. The first time I had stepped into the sun and revealed myself to her. It was in the meadow that I had realized what I felt for her was something more than just the desire for her sweet intoxicating blood.I loved her. Furthermore, I would love her for all time.

Suddenly, her golden eyes filled with a far away look as she rapidly slipped into another revelation from her past. She let it take her, sweep her away from me, sinking fast into what went before, into the memories of her human life.

"Bella?"

Her dark lashes drifted down as she tried to stand. Leaving her bouquet on the bench, her hands blindly reached out to me and rushing forward, I caught her as she fell forward into her memory. Wrapping my arms around her and turning to sit on the bench, I laid her across my lap, gently holding her, looking down into her beautiful face. All I could feel coming from her was confusion and overwhelming sorrow.

"Bella. Oh, Bella, my love." I whispered as my fingertips stroked her soft cheek. I knew all I could do was wait it out as she trembled in my arms.

Then she whispered, begging me not to leave her. Her arms came up, clutching tightly around her chest. It was something I had seen her do many, many times in her human past. I always thought she used it as a method to comfort herself, but suddenly I realized she did this as if she were trying desperately to hold herself together, to keep a great empty pain from tearing her apart.

_Oh God_… "Bella. Bella, I know you can hear me." I tried to stay calm, to keep my voice steady as a wave of unmistakable emptiness poured out over me, engulfing me, causing real physical pain to bloom in my chest.

Then, Jasper was kneeling in front of me. _Edward, please, let me help._

All I could manage was a quick nod of my head.

"Help me, please!" Bella whispered urgently. "Please Edward, I'm lost! I'm so lost!" Her quivering voice slipped into sobs that tore me apart.

"Bella, I'm here! Let it go" I whispered my plea. "Bella, please release it, let it go." A low mournful sob escaped from between my lips as the sorrow she gave off overcame me, shook me down to my very soul.

Jasper gently took hold of her wrists and pulled, separating them until Bella lost her grip. Then, her arms flew open wide. Leaning down, I brushed her lips with mine, frantically whispering to her, trying to lead her to me.

"Bella, I'm right here! Come back to me."

Bella's head began to shake from side to side as she begged. "No! No! No!" Her beautiful voice broke, sobbed. "No! Please no! No Jacob! No!"

I froze.

_What?_

Fury, wild and hot, burned in my brain.

_This is not happening! Not on our wedding day! Damn you, Jacob Black, I will not allow you to intrude on this day! _

"Bella! Control this now!"

_Edward! Calm down._ Jasper grasped her hand and peace flowed out from him into Bella, into me, calming the sudden rage that had filled me as he helped to calm the horrendous fear that held Bella so tightly in its grip.

Just as quickly as it came on, the fear, sorrow and utter emptiness was eased. No. Not only eased, but… gone. Like there was a physical shifting inside of her.

Bella was … whole.

The deep mysterious void where her darkest memories hid away was finally healed.

_Edward? Can you feel it?_ Jasper's questioning eyes flashed up at mine. _The… darkness, the emptiness… it's gone._

I stared at him for only a second, long enough to realize that what I felt coming from Bella was real peace. A tranquility that came only from the soul.

Bella breathed in deeply, her nose slightly flaring as she took in the scents around her. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open, her mouth spread in a perfect smile as she looked into my face.

Jasper released her hand, _she's fine now_, stood and silently walked down the tiled path, back to our waiting family.

Bella's hand came up and tenderly stroked my cheek.

"I found it, Edward." Her lovely voice no more than a pleasant sigh. "I found the emptiness."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing, Bella?" _God, please let it be good._

Her smile widened, reaching all the way to her golden eyes. A sweet, sexy grin. "Oh, very good."

I leaned in the last few inches needing to touch my lips to hers when she disappeared from my arms only to stand a few feet from where I sat.

"Oh, my gosh, Edward! How long have I been out of it?" Her joyous laughter was music to my ears, but still, I was concerned at how quickly she had recovered. Usually, after an episode such as this, it took her a while to process the information that had been revealed to her. Rarely was she in such a wonderful mood, however, the laughter continued to flow from her.

"A couple of minutes. Why?"

"We're supposed to be getting married, that's why!" She bent over, her arms clasping around her waist as she giggled uncontrollably. The crystals that hung in tiers around the neckline of her wedding dress, dangled freely, catching any small amount of light they could, drawing my attention to the gentle curve of her breasts.

"Oh, I feel like an idiot, I'm so sorry Edward!"

Bella began slowly spinning, her arms floating out from her body, the silky white fabric of her wedding gown flowing in delicate waves around her, shimmering and shining almost as much as her pale sparkling skin. She was the most exquisite being I had ever seen.

"And, now that you've seen me, aren't you going to walk me down the aisle?"

Rising from the bench on legs that threatened to collapse beneath me, I stood utterly speechless and quite aroused at the sight of her twirling and spinning in such a beguiling manner. She reached out, plucking her wedding bouquet up from the bench behind me. Electricity raced over my skin as her body brushed against mine, heightening all my senses until I felt I could wait no longer. I desperately needed to touch her, to care for her, to cover every inch of her body with kisses.

Her hand reached out to mine. Time stood still as I stared at her trying to remember how to move, how to talk, how to breathe. On its own accord, my hand came up and took hers.

"You are the most absurdly stunning creature I have ever seen." My feeble words were no more than a breathless pant of air.

"I know." Her reply was deep and sultry, completely seductive as she leaned in closer. "Just wait until you get this dress off of me." Her sweet breath blew into my face, dazzling me, as a sinful smile curved her luscious mouth upwards.

Immediately, pictures of all the ways I planned to please her, all the ways I wanted to enjoy her, flashed with impeccable clarity through my brain. Just touching her hand caused lightning to sweep along my body from head to toe and the energy that moved with it began to build at an amazing rate. I had no doubt that Bella could feel it also.

_If I could just pull her into my arms… kiss her… _

"Are you ready?" The sweet tones of my beloved's voice pulled me back as she motioned toward the end of the rose filled tunnel. Her arm slipped through mine and gave me a little tug to start my feet moving in the right direction. "Isn't there some kind of curse that goes along with seeing your bride early?" She teased.

I couldn't take my eyes from her wondrous beauty. "Yes, I believe you have to spend eternity with me or some such nonsense." I could barely speak much less have any sort of rational thought.

"Oh, is that all? Just one of those forever and eternity type curses. Well, that's easy enough." I was certain that the laughter she held back was not from nervousness, but from excitement. "I don't know about you, but it's the curses that keep us apart that pretty much destroy me."

We rounded the corner heading toward our family and the priest who stood beneath the white rose covered gazebo. My happiness was not only reflected in my beloved's face, but also in the thoughts of each member of our family.

With our family surrounding us, we were about to bind ourselves in this last ceremonial pledge. Lost in my love's eyes, I stood silently as the priest spoke in Italian, the words that formally joined us together in matrimony. I was ready to prompt Bella when the time came for her to say 'I do', however, she surprised me by saying it at just the right moment. Jasper pressed Bella's ring into the palm of my hand seconds before I recited my vows, once again renewing my promises to love her until the end of time.

Facing each other, I slipped her wedding ring onto her finger as I repeated the words Bella had used to pledge herself to me over three years ago while lying in a hospital bed.

"You are my life, Isabella. From this moment on, all that I am and all that I am to become, I give to you with a love that shall never die. I promise yours will be the only name I cry out in the night and yours will be the only eyes I look into at dawn. This and everything that is mine to give, I give to you freely, for I have become yours forever."

She repeated the same promises to me, then, to my surprise, slipped her ring's perfect masculine match on my finger.

The priest pronounced us husband and wife and the wild impulse to pull her into my arms and kiss her deep and hard was almost more than I control. Barely breathing, I took her face in my hands, felt another electrifying wave of desire shoot through my veins as my fingers moved into her silky hair.

Our kiss began softly, lingering for only few seconds. However, as I started to pull away, Bella's hands came up around my neck, then entwined in my hair, crushing me to her as small moan vibrated deep in her throat. In that instant, all my control was lost. I kissed her harder, deeper, drinking her in, frantically trying to quench my undying thirst for her.

I was vaguely aware of the sound of a camera clicking one photo after another when Emmett's thoughts came to me, bringing a smile to my lips.

_Edward, damn bro! I am positive there's a room with your name on it back at the hotel._

xx0X0xx

The limo ride back to the hotel passed in seconds, though time itself did not move as long as I gazed into Bella's eyes. Once at the hotel, following Carlisle's lead, I took my wife's arm and led her into the Grand Ball Room. The huge crystal chandelier was sparkling with a very pale golden light. The tables were spaced out at regular intervals against the walls to allow for full access to the dance floor. Each table covered with a burgundy wine tablecloth and the chairs covered with a heavy tan satin drape tied in a knot across the back. Each table had varying sizes of tan and burgundy candles, all lit, casting off a warm glow that was also reflected in the chandelier. A small crystal vase filled with sprays of white flowers was placed in the center of each table and adorned with deep blue ribbons. The entire room smelled of freesia, gardenias and jasmine.

Walking Bella out to the center of the dance floor, I turned to face her, pulled her into my arms and pressed a small kiss to her mouth.

"Shall we dance, my lady?" I stepped back and bowed to her. She smiled and curtsied holding out her hand to me. I wrapped my arm around her small waist and then, my music filled the room. As we danced, I softly whispered my intentions to her, brushing her ears not only with my breath, but also with my lips. Though she concealed her desire from me, her body told me all I needed to know as she moved against me, fitting her hips into mine, pressing her breasts into my chest, brushing delicate kisses over my chin and lips, teasing me as unmercifully as I teased her.

At some point, Rosalie had left and when she returned, I heard the gasp that left Emmett speechless though his thoughts dived deep into erotic fantasies.

_Ah, damn, Rosy! I'm gonna eat you up!_

Very soon after, I noticed that Emmett and Rosalie had left the room, with Alice and Jasper following close behind.

Though I couldn't see it from the ballroom, I knew dawn was fast approaching. As the last song began to play, I caught Carlisle's eye. He danced Esme closer to the sound booth and then both disappeared behind the partition leaving my new wife and I alone for a few short moments. Looking into Bella's sensuous amber eyes, my soul felt at peace even though my entire body was quivering in anticipation of what was to come.

Everything I could ever hope for was dancing there in my arms.

My wife, my lover, my friend… my equal. Never again to be the fragile, breakable human who had triggered every terrible animal instinct I possessed. No. She had become so much more. Bella was the bright shining star that illuminated the darkest corners of my life as I orbited around her much like a satellite, caught in her gravitational pull.

Now that Bella had complete control over her gifts, she was once again a great mystery for me to unravel. I had become so accustomed to feeling something from her, that to feel nothing at all was most unsettling. Nevertheless, I could see it in her beautiful eyes.

Our first three days together came back to me in a sudden rush. We had almost no need for words between us as her emotions told me everything I needed and wanted to know in order to please her. As we stood locked in each other's arms, slowly dancing, her body moving with mine, her fingertips caressed my neck, my cheek and occasionally brushed over my lips. Laying my cheek against hers, I whispered softly in her ear.

"Bella, my love." With my arm wrapped around her small waist I pulled her closer, feeling her body move so seductively against mine. My hand drifted down to cup her round bottom, pressing her up and into me, knowing she could feel how much I missed her, how much I wanted her. "I need you." The words left my mouth in a low soft growl. My lips found the soft sensitive spot just below her ear, kissed it between unsteady whispers. "I want to feel your body wrapped around mine in every way."

The streaks of lightning that had played havoc with me all evening turned suddenly into full-blown waves of electricity with each little gasp that came from between Bella's lips. The fact that she had been concealing her emotions from me the entire evening only made me want her that much more. When the time came, she would release all her desire on me and our sharing would be glorious.

As we headed toward the elevator, Carlisle caught my attention.

_Edward._ I turned to look at him and felt a small key card pressed into my hand. _Down the hall, you will find a key slot on the wall. The elevator will take you to your room. You are booked for five nights. Enjoy._

I nodded my thanks.

Five nights. Five wonderful, fantastic, glorious days and nights.

We came to the private elevators that led to the room I had shared with Carlisle and my brothers, and with Bella under my arm, I turned heading down another hall. At the end, there was indeed a key slot. It took all my well-honed discipline to keep from running at full speed to reach the door hidden behind the dark wooden panel.

_Just… a… few… more… steps._

I swiped the key card through the slot and held my breath as the doors slid open. Stepping inside, I turned to look into Bella's twinkling eyes as the door moved to close us in. Without warning, every emotion she held inside, all of her deepest desires slammed into me with incredible force, inundating my senses. All of my well thought-out plans to seduce her were instantly swept away by the strength of her desire. It was all I could do to slide the keycard in the slot before wrapping Bella fully in my arms, crushing her to every inch of my body. My entire being was filled with a cold fire that burned every cell in my body with intense awareness.

_Isabella._

I moaned as my lips took hers. My hand crept up to the nape of her slender neck. My fingers entwined in her dark mahogany hair as my mouth moved hungrily over her soft velvety lips. Reaching the gossamer veil, I gently pulled it from her silken locks. Mahogany curls tumbled down covering her pale bare shoulders.

The overwhelming need to share my energy with her right then and there was nearly more than I could stand and a sweet agony ached cruelly in my groin, but I was determined to hold on as long as possible. Each breath we took was a short gasping pant. Nothing more than an exchange of air into each other's lungs between each passionate kiss, until all I breathed was Bella, all I tasted was Bella.

Pulling my mouth away, I pressed my forehead against hers. "Bella… sweetheart…" I gasped into her mouth as I leaned my body into hers.

Bella's hands had come up around my neck and now slid slowly down around my shoulders. "Edward…" She whispered in a shallow quivering voice.

_Oh Bella!_

We stood motionless taking pleasure in the feelings that ran through us, between us. I didn't dare move. Just the brush of my fingers might have pushed her over the limit of control and I wanted to feel it all, to share every second of her release… but not here. I wanted her beneath me, my body fully merged within hers before she let go.

At that moment, the elevator door slid open to reveal a room larger than the one I had shared with my father and brothers. My lips found Bella's once more as I lifted her in my arms and carried her into our suite. Her mouth curved into a smile as I broke our kiss.

We each took a moment to look around at the penthouse. It was completely different from the rest of the hotel in that it was decorated in varying shades of white. Still, the west wall was created of seamless windows that allowed a fantastic view of the city. The only way we would see it during the next five days would be to admire it from the privacy of this room.

My eyes saw everything in only a matter of seconds and then settled again on Bella's angelic face. I watched as she took in the entire room. Her eyes fell upon the white Baby Grand that sat neatly in the living area, then, moved to take in the indoor and outdoor pools, two benefits of this suite I was eager to make use of. Lastly, her eyes rested on the huge rock fireplace that separated the living area from the bedroom. It was the last feature I had seen and the first I wanted to make use of. Now that I had her alone, I could feel the smile on my face was nothing short of sinful.

Bella's eyes settled back on mine. "Are you reading my thoughts?" She whispered.

_If only…_

"No, but I think you're reading mine." Carrying her over to the fireplace, I studied the tiny remote that controlled it before pressing the little green button that would bring it to life. With a few electronic clicks, bright orange and yellow flames filled the fireplace and lit up Bella's exposed skin with a beautiful warm glow.

The second her feet touched the carpet, her hips still pressed firmly against mine, Bella's fingers were at my collar, attempting to unbutton my shirt. Taking her hands in mine, I kissed them softly then, placed them down at her sides. Having her alone, knowing full well she could control all that she felt, could focus it wholly and fully on me, I wanted to use every minute to feel all she had to share, to go slow and indulge my every fantasy. Savor every delicious moment of our union.

My hands cupped her face, my mouth caught hers in a tender kiss. Then my lips followed the trail my fingers made as I kissed my way down the span of her slender throat, her entire body trembling with each small kiss, vibrating against the hardened length of my sensitive male anatomy. Her hands came up and once again, I took hold of them, not allowing her to touch me.

"Edward, please." Her plea sent fireworks of desire shooting through me. The urge to give in to her was so tempting. However, I knew what I wanted and what I needed to do.

"I have indulged your sexual appetite for far too long, Mrs. Cullen. Something I mean to rectify starting right now."

"Play nice, Mr. Cullen." She whispered as her body shuddered, sending off enormous waves of need.

"I fully intend to…" _She is so close. Hold on to it angel. _"All I ask is that you hold on to your energy, draw out the release as long as you can." _Please, just hold on to it for me._ I leaned down, my lips so close to hers, her shallow breathing fast, blowing softly over my tongue and down my throat. "Will you try?"

Then, I lost it. Lost it all as my lips came down on hers, my tongue slipping easily into her receptive mouth, tangling wildly with her tongue. My hands found their way to the small crystal buttons that adorned the back of her gown and began unfastening them as rapidly as possible. Bella's fingers worked furiously, unbuttoning my shirt just as quickly. Her soft hands traveled all over my chest, touching every inch of my skin before moving to caress my back with the same urgency. A rippling tremor of pleasure traveled the length of my body as Bella's hands moved so lovingly over my flesh. A rush stilled my fingers giving Bella the chance to hastily push my jacket and shirt from my shoulders and down my arms, tossing them off to the side.

Within seconds, I had unfastened enough of the little crystal buttons to allow her silky white gown to slide down her hips and puddle at her feet. I stepped back, expecting to see her still covered in a small lacy bra and panties, but what I did see, I was not prepared for.

She was breathtaking.

Beneath her wedding gown, she was clothed in a white satin and lace corset that supported her perfect breasts, pushing them up in a deliberate invitation. At her hips, she wore a matching garter belt, the four tiny clips holding shimmering iridescent silk stockings that covered her shapely legs. On her feet, white 4-inch heels fasten by tiny straps that wound their way up and around her delicate looking ankles.

My eyes moved slowly back up the length of her body until they fell once more upon her angelic features. Her head was tilted downward, rich brown curls framing her face. Her eyes holding a hint of shyness under her thick black lashes as her mouth curved into that wonderful smile I worshipped. And then, she spoke, her beautiful voice purring seductively.

"Do you really like this… stuff?"

Words sufficient enough to describe what all I was feeling had escaped me as she stood there in her bridal trousseau. I willed my head to nod, knowing she would feel my approval as easily as she felt every other emotion I was undoubtedly casting off. My eyes raced over every inch of her as a deep rumbling began in my chest, spreading outward through every bone, every muscle and every cell in my body.

_Oh my God, woman._

The flames coming from the fireplace made my skin feel feverish, hot. My eyes drifted over the sacrificial lace that covered the junction between her legs before roaming upward once more to lock onto her exquisite face.

_Isabella, I am going to take you every way possible._

Just then, Bella gave a little gasp, sending back to me what I had released on her, lust. Pure want and need. Then, my hands were on her tiny waist sliding easily over the satin fabric to rest cupping her supple breasts. My thumbs stroking gently back and forth over the fabric as Bella gasped and sighed with pleasure.

Leaning over, I caught her open mouth with mine, kissing her hard and deep and long. Catching her every gasp, every sigh as my thumbs thoroughly teased her. When I felt her energy begin to peak, I pulled away.

"Edward, please!" She moaned as she leaned into me trying to recapture my lips.

Within seconds, my belt was off, Bella was lying on the plush carpet in front of the fire and every other piece of clothing I had been wearing, was now thrown to the side. Bella's legs parted eagerly to fit my body between them. With one swift tug, all my careful planning was thrown across the room along with Bella's lace panties.

I kissed my way up from her flat stomach to her perfect breasts, which I teased with kisses as her back arched up and her silk covered legs wrapped around mine. Her hands moved around my back, sliding down over my hips to rest on my backside. Her fingers dug in to me, tried to pull me in as I tantalized her breasts, wetting her corset with venom as I licked and nipped at her, quickly shredding the fragile fabric with my teeth.

I moved my body over hers, caressed her, pressed my hardened length against her then pulled back, causing her to quiver with anticipation. Edging closer and closer with each caress.

Bella moaned and pleaded. She was perched on the edge of a precipice and with just one more flick of my tongue she would very likely freefall into bliss, taking me along with her. Her eyes burned with an ocher flame as the firelight flickered across them.

"I need you as I have never needed before." I growled as my lips moved hungrily over her throat, kissing and licking until my bottom lip touched the tips of the heated scars Jacob's claws had left in her perfect skin.

Bella's breath caught in her throat as I froze in place. I knew she could feel the difference between my icy lips and the heat that remained in the four jagged lines she would carry for all eternity.

It was then I made a promise…

_Jacob Black, I fully accept that which I cannot change. I will never again allow my fear of her love for you to interfere with Bella's happiness or mine. I will claim this scarred piece of her flesh as my own, as I claim the rest of her body and if it brings her more pleasure in the claiming, so be it. If I must share her with you in our marriage bed, I will do all in my power to hold her mind, body and soul totally and completely to mine if only for those few small hours. _

I touched my lips to the four pale reminders of her fragile human life, caressing them. Then placing my tongue at the base, I licked them long and slow, enjoying the warmth that spread throughout my mouth. Then, nipped at them, bit them softly as Bella's body rocked beneath mine. There was no mistake. There was definitely something about my icy mouth on her small streaks of warm flesh that sent both of us escalating even further out of control.

"I can't…" She whimpered. The force of her oncoming release curved her body away from me, pressing her into the unyielding carpet.

I couldn't stop kissing her, licking her, biting at her delicious neck as I claimed it as my own. Her strong legs came up around my waist, guiding me, opening to graciously accept the entire rigid length of me.

I moved slowly, filling her in one long deep undeniably exquisite stroke, completing our joining. My entire body quaked as lightning passed through me in almost blinding waves of unbelievable pleasure. Bella's intense womanly fragrance seemed to seep into my skin, become part of me, filled my lungs, intoxicated me. Her luscious sultry moans mixed with mine in an impassioned love song that filled every corner of the huge penthouse.

Lost to our desire, I plunged deeper with each controlled thrust. Moaning and purring, Bella moved her body in perfect rhythm with mine. Every move she made drove me deeper and deeper, farther and farther into her as her body melted all around me. All the while, my mouth moved slowly over her scars, tasting, nibbling, grazing my teeth over them.

Then, in my desperate animal need to claim what was mine, I bit down, gently increasing the pressure as her body suddenly bucked, drove up into me hard, as her muscles tightened around me in response. She trembled beneath me, shuddering as I continued to slowly and smoothly moved within her, carrying her along with me to that one moment of indescribable ecstasy.

Lightning built to delicious extremes. With a deep husky growl, the need to release all that I held for her overcame me. Locked in an almost bone crushing embrace, my energy seemed to implode, drawing inward in a tight swirling mass somewhere deep inside before blasting into Bella with incredible intensity. Just as it hit her, she exploded. Sending off her own energy with amazing force, pulling me in deeper, gripping me as I poured myself into her in great throbbing pulses. I held her firmly, my arms wrapped tightly around her back, her soft breasts crushed into my chest, my face buried in her neck. Both of us breathless as I continued to move within her, riding wave after wave of unimaginable bliss.

_This is how it has to be. I will have it no other way. Bella is mine. Mine alone. No one, real as the Volturi or in a memory as Jacob, will ever take her from me._

As I buried my still rigid length deep inside of her, I raised up on my arms, looking down into her beautiful face as I felt the dark pooling sensation in my eyes. Not from hunger or from anger, but from the sheer need to hold her completely. To convey to her in so many words that I would never leave her side, nor allow her to be taken from me.

"You belong to _me_, Bella, as I belong to you and nothing or no one will ever come between us." It was a deep growling pledge that rumbled low throughout the entire room.

Her golden eyes darkened to a smoldering sensuous topaz.

"No one will ever come between us, Edward. No one … _ever_." Her sweet voice resonated with power, vibrating through my muscles and into my bones. The truth of it, her deep sincerity, the fierce possessiveness that embraced me with each word was unmistakable. Though I knew she was more than capable of destroying anyone who threatened to take her from me, I would never allow the situation to come about. I would always protect her, never let her carry the burden of guilt from taking a life, human, vampire or werewolf.

Her hands moved over me, touching me with such love and devotion, I wished I could cry for joy. Her fingers found my neck, wrapped around and into my hair, pulling my lips down to hers.

I had wanted to take her slowly, touch her, taste her and cover every inch of her sweet skin in kisses before indulging my own needs. However, all hope in taking my time had been swept from my mind the second the elevator doors closed us in together.

Still so deeply merged with my beloved, I lowered my body and began moving with long even strokes as my fingertips brushed her silky face. Her golden eyes flickered with yellow and orange flames that seemed to have nothing to do with the fire that burned next to us, but everything to do with her love for me. Once again, there was little need for words between us. Her magnificent gift absorbed all that I felt for her and gave back to me all the love, passion and desire that I could ever hope to be worthy of.

After having shared myself with her, hopefully, I would have the strength of will to take my time. Worship her slowly, leisurely, fully, with abandon and without reservation. Declare my love for her in every way possible, through my body, my hands, my mouth and my words. Invite her to join me in a very different kind of dance than we had shared earlier in the evening. The dance I wished to share with her from that moment on, until we ceased to exist, was beautifully dark and sensual, filled with erotic temptation and undying love. To share eternity enjoying the touch of her sweet lips, the feel of her velvety skin, the beautiful melodic sound of her voice, was everything and more than I could ever wish for.


	24. Chapter 24

Dear Readers,

You may have noticed a few of your favorite fanfics have disappeared for no apparent reason. It is policy that any fiction rated M can contain adult language, themes and suggestions which does not contain adult/explicit subject matter. I respect their rights to run their site however they choose. So, due to the mature sexual content of my fanfic, this story may disappear without warning. I'm glad to have had the chance to share my fanfic with so many wonderful readers.

Thank you!

Sincerely,

Stupid Shiny Volvo driver


End file.
